Chapter 2

Two days earlier . . .

The ARC had become much quieter since Stephen's death; whether it was because of the grief the team felt at the loss of one of it's members, or due to the realization that any one of them could actually die doing this job, Cutter was unsure. For the last few weeks, the team had become rather robotic in their endeavors, responding to each anomaly alert with the same stiff routine. Cutter constantly found himself at his desk, flicking through the many research files they had without actually taking in any of there content. On one particular night, he had assumed that he was quite alone, as the bustling sounds of every day ARC life had dissipated, and he was lost in his own thoughts. His own thoughts about Stephen. No matter how much time passed, he could still see his best friend being surrounded by those countless creatures; he, himself, was banging on the glass.

"Stephen, open the door!" Cutter yelled, fear pulsating through his body. "Open it!"

"I can't do it Nick," Stephen replied with a sad smile. "Tell Conner and Abby . . . tell them to stay out of trouble!"

"Stephen, no!"

. . .

"Cutter?" a soft familiar voice said, yanking him out of his thoughts.

It was Claudia Brown's beautiful face he saw in front of him, merely inches from his own. No . . . it was Jenny's beautiful face . . . Jenny. Not Claudia. Although she had started looking at lot more like Claudia of late. Perhaps it was the downgrading of her wardrobe to much more practical attire, or maybe it was the fresh face that was free of the layers of make up. Cutter didn't know whether he was glad of this change in Jenny or not. On the one hand, it was much harder for him to keep up the cold persona he had adopted towards her. Every time he spotted her from across the ARC, he seemed to melt; why did she have to go around wearing that face? The face that didn't belong to her! It belonged to Claudia! His Claudia Brown! But on the other hand (and this was the part that disgusted him slightly), it secretly thrilled him. Was he so shallow that he could fall in love with this woman just because she was identical to Claudia? No, he refused to be that kind of man . . .

"Don't you ever go home?" Jenny asked in obvious amusement. With that voice. That voice that haunted his dreams . . . and his waking life too. "You can't take this personally, you know," she continued. "No one blames you."

"For what?" Cutter asked, knowing full well what she was referring to.

"For what happened to Stephen," she replied quietly, leaning over his desk a little more. "It wasn't your fault."

"I know," Cutter nodded, trying hard not to notice the gentle ripples in her hair as the moved her head. "It was Helen's."

"Then why are you blaming yourself?" she asked gently. Why did this woman seem to understand him so?

"Because I should have stopped it," Cutter admitted, aware that he wouldn't have told any one else that particular thought. "It's my job."

"But you can't change the past," Jenny said wisely, and as it is, rather ironically.

Cutter laughed before he could help himself.

"You don't know the half of it Claudia Brown," he smirked, looking up into her brown eyes that had narrowed slightly at the use of the 'taboo' name.

"Okay," she sighed, straightening up and grabbing her briefcase. "I'm out of here."

Cutter suppressed the odd desire he suddenly had to ask her to stay, and looked down at the files on his desk as she turned to leave. But he sensed that she had stopped short of walking away, and he looked back up as she turned to face him again, looking rather nervous. It seemed as though she had something to say, but was unsure how to say it. She looked down at him and bit her lip slightly.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" she blurted out quickly, as though she wanted to get it out as quickly as possible. "I'm starving," she added, her eyes searching his face for a reaction.

Cutter lent back in his chair and surveyed her for a moment. Was she actually asking him out on a date? As he recalled, at Stephen's funeral she had mentioned them going for a drink at some point, but the invitation had seemed rather casual at the time. But now he thought back on it, maybe there had been more in it than that. But if he agreed, what sort of message would that send Jenny? That he was ready to embark in a relationship with her? And that was something he really didn't want . . . did he? But maybe he was reading to much into this; after all, it was just getting something to eat. It's not like she was proposing. And anyway, how arrogant would he have to be to think he could make this woman fall for him twice? Surely this wouldn't mean anything?

"Yeah," he nodded eventually. "I could do with something to eat."

She smiled which made her face light up wonderfully, and suddenly, hopelessly, Cutter was breathless.

Stop it, Cutter thought to himself as he stood up and followed her out of the office, trying hard not to allow his gaze to travel down to her buttocks as she walked. Just because she looks like Claudia, it doesn't give you the right to think about her like that. She's you're colleague.

"So where do you want to go?" Jenny asked, as she slowed down to walk by his side.

"Erm . . ." Cutter said thoughtfully. "There's a McDonalds not far from here?"

"A McDonalds?" she repeated in cold amusement as they walked through the double doors. "God, no wonder you've been single for nine years."

"Well I seem to have struck your fancy," Cutter teased, forgetting the secret deal he had made with himself to end all flirtatious banter with her.

"Don't flatter yourself," Jenny scoffed, a pinkish tinge appearing on her cheeks. "I was hungry . . . and I hate eating alone . . . "

"I don't blame you," Cutter replied. "I've seen you eat and it's not a pretty sight."

Jenny chuckled and looked away from him in obvious embarrassment.

They didn't end up at McDonalds, but Jenny's request of a certain fancy restaurant where nothing on the menu looked edible fell on deaf ears also. They agreed on a compromise of a local diner -slash-pub, which may have been a bit below Jenny's standards, but it was one of the only places that was open at this hour that served alcohol. As they sat down at a table near the window and picked up the menu, it suddenly struck Cutter that he had never been alone with Jenny for an extended period of time. With the exception of the drives to anomaly sight, and the odd moments were the team had hurried off to do something, he had never found himself in a position were he had to make small talk with her. Now that he thought about it, perhaps he had avoided it on purpose; to keep her at arms length and stop himself becoming attached to her. And to stop himself becoming overly interested in her life. But saying that, that was when she had a life; a fiancé that he found himself obsessed with, and yet at the same time not wanting to know anything about. It just hurt too much. But now she was single. Single and apparently interested in him. He suddenly found himself wondering what would happen between them if they were left alone for a while. Not that he would want anything to happen . . . why would he? She wasn't Claudia, despite how much she looked like her.

********

Jenny fidgeted slightly in her seat as she scanned the menu she held in front of her. Suddenly this seemed like a very bad idea. She had never asked out a man in her life. Why would she? Surely it was down to the guy to make the first move - well that's what she had been lead to believe. But Cutter was so infuriatingly different to any other man; perhaps that was why she felt herself attracted to him. And the blonde hair and piercing blue eyes didn't hurt either . . . but for that one fleeting second, she had lost her head completely and asked him out. She felt rather embarrassed about that now; he must think that she was desperate, which she was sure was not the most attractive quality. Still, he had agreed. That must mean something mustn't it?

She gave Cutter a fleeting glance and observed that his brow was furrowed as he concentrated a little bit too hard on the menu. Perhaps he was as nervous as she was? For some reason this thought calmed her slightly. The waiter slouched over.

"Anything looking good there?" Jenny asked Cutter, breaking the silence.

"Yes," he answered, putting down his menu. "The whiskey."

Jenny laughed and mirrored him by placed her menu down also.

"Make that two," she said to the waiter. He nodded glumly and walked off, looking like he was about ten seconds away from hanging himself from his own shower cord.

Jenny looked back round at Cutter and saw he was staring at her in shock.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"A whiskey?"

"What, I can drink!" Jenny insisted. "I can drink you under the table anyway."

"I thought you were starving?" Cutter asked in disbelief.

"Well I've lost my appetite," Jenny answered, looking around the grotty diner. "Anything I order from here would probably still be alive on my plate."

"Can you be more of a snob?"

"There's nothing wrong with having standards when it comes to food," Jenny answered in a whisper as the waiter walked back over with their drinks. "Just because you shovel anything within arms reach into your mouth - thank you," she added to the waiter as he set down their whiskeys.

"Cheers," Cutter said, raising his glass with a smile.

"Cheers," Jenny repeated, clinking her glass against his.

Cutter took a large gulp of his drink. Jenny sipped hers and felt the brown liquid trickle down her throat, igniting a fire as it went, making her feel slightly light-headed for a moment.

"You okay?" Cutter asked, setting down his glass.

"Yes," she shuddered, before composing herself. "It's just stronger than I'm used to."

"I thought you could drink me under the table?" he reminded her in amusement.

"Just let me get into my stride," Jenny smiled back, cupping her glass with both hands.

********

An hour later, a nearly empty bottle of whiskey that they had requested was sitting at the end of the table. Cutter had to admit; he was enjoying himself. He was finally getting to know Jenny Lewis as herself, and not in a PR mode. He was quite shocked to find that when her guard down, she was a hell of a lot like Claudia, from the way she tucked her hair behind her ear to the way she stroked her glass slightly as she spoke. Then again, what should he expect? She was the same person after all. Well, underneath all her Jenny-isms anyway.

Cutter himself felt quite tipsy, which was odd as he had been known to polish off whole bottle by himself before and feel fine. However, Jenny had kept to her end of the bargain; she seemed to be able to hold her alcohol more than any woman he had never met.

"See, I told you," she laughed when he voiced this thought aloud, as she reclined back slightly.

"I'm impressed," Cutter admitted, pouring them another drink. He handed her glass to her and watched her take a gulp. Perhaps it was the whiskey finally taking his toll, but he all of a sudden had a burning question he wanted to know. "Jenny?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Jenny nodded, straightening up slightly.

"When we were stuck in those cells in Leek's building - ?"

Jenny looked down and smiled in a slightly embarrassed manner as though she knew what he was about to say. However, she remained silent and allowed him to keep speaking.

" - you said something," he continued lamely, suddenly losing his bottle.

"Did I?" she said, a mock-innocent look on her face.

"You said you'd been feeling differently?" he said tentively, looking at her hard. She looked down resolutely at the table in silence and fiddled with the edge of her menu. "What - what did you mean by that?"

She sighed slightly and looked up at him.

"What do you think I meant?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," Cutter answered honestly. "That's why I'm asking."

After a slight pause, Jenny continued.

"I meant that when Mark broke off the engagement, I . . . I didn't really care . . ."

Cutter noticed that he was sitting on the edge of his seat in anticipation, and immediately sat back slightly so as not to look so eager.

" . . . In fact, I was quite glad," she carried on shakily.

"Why?"

"You know why," she said quietly, looking up at him again.

Cutter felt temporarily speechless; he was not expecting her answer to be so direct. For a few moments all he could do was stare back at her, watching her expression change from sheepish to confused.

"Say something," she said in a strained voice.

Cutter opened his mouth to reply, but shut it again when he realized he had no idea what he was going to say. He knew what he wanted to say; but somewhere in the back of his head, it felt like he would be cheating on Claudia's memory.

"Let's get you some food, you've had a bit to drink," he stammered, gesturing over to the waiter.

Jenny's expression fell into a look of disbelief as she looked downwards again, laughing slightly.

"You know what?" she said, rooting around in her bag and pulling out a twenty-pound note that she threw on the table. "Just forget it."

She got up, staggering slightly, and walked away without looking back.

********

The rain that splattered on Jenny's face was ice cold and felt like hundreds of needles piercing her skin. She felt that she was unsteady on her feet, but kept on walking, determined not to stop until she was home and could bury her face in her pillow and scream. All she could feel was a burning shame in the pit of her stomach.

"Jenny!" Cutter's voice floated over to her from the diner door.

She didn't turn around, but heard him jog up behind her.

"Jenny?" he repeated as he reached her.

"Just leave me alone Nick."

"Let me take you home. You can't drive - "

"So I'll get a taxi," she replied shortly.

"Alone at this time at night?"

She turned around to face him, fighting back the tears that threatened to engulf her completely. His top was already saturated with rain.

"Why would you care how I get home?" she spat, feeling the tendrils of soaked hair around her face drip water.

"Don't do this - "

"Do what?' she snapped, stalking off again. She felt him following her close behind. "I'm a complete idiot!" she burst out.

"No you're not - "

"I have just made a complete fool out of myself!"

"Jenny, please," he said, grabbing her arm and spinning her round. "Just listen to me."

"There's nothing left to say!" she shrieked, determined to put as much space in between Cutter and herself as possible. "There's absolutely nothing you can do - "

She was silenced immediately as she felt Cutter's wet lips press against her's roughly. She was so taken-aback by this unexpected gesture that she parted her lips involuntarily. After a few seconds, she pulled away slowly.

"Except that," she gulped, looking up at his dripping wet face. He looked as confused as she, herself, was as he ran his hand over his frowning forehead.

Screw it, she thought as she pulled his neck so that his lips met hers again.

A moment later, she felt one of his hands slide up her back pulling her in closer, and the other gently pushing aside her sopping wet hair. As the kiss intensified, Cutter backed her up against the wall of the side of some building. She felt him unzip her jacket and push it off her shoulder, as she let her hands wander downwards to his belt bucket . . .

Suddenly, a side door to the building opened a few feet from them and light spilled out. They broke apart immediately and turned to see a middle aged woman throwing an armful of cans into a recycling bin. The woman looked around at them and tutted before returning inside, slamming the door behind her.

Cutter and Jenny looked at each other and burst out laughing, Jenny placing her head on his chest and cringing.

"I've just had a high school flash back," she sighed, her voice muffled in his top.

"Come on," he smiled, pulling her away. "Let's go somewhere else."

********

Cutter woke up with the sun shining directly onto his face, making him feel slightly dazed for a second. Sensing his bed empty next to him, he looked across the room and saw Jenny almost fully dressed and buttoning up her blouse; her face furrowed angrily.

"What's the matter?" he asked immediately, sitting up slightly.

She looked up at him for a second, but seemed unable to look him in the eye, so lowered his gaze back to her half-opened blouse.

"It wasn't that bad was it?" he laughed nervously.

"Do you know you talk in your sleep?" she asked cooly, picking up her jacket.

"Why, what did I say?" he asked, panicking slightly.

She bent down to pick up her brief case, and surveyed him coldly before answering.

"You said 'I love you'," she said quietly.

"And since when is that a bad thing to say?" Cutter asked, rather bemused. He had never known a woman to react like this after a man confesses his love for her, despite him being asleep at the time.

She gave him a look of disgust before moving towards the door, turning back only to say:

"You said 'I love you Claudia'."

********

It's a long chapter just incase I can't update for a while :) x