Wow. We didn't take foreve to write this (WRITE it, not upload it). 4 hours for 910 words. xD

Allen would like to apologize for the fact that we haven't updated for awhile. I'm also kinda sorry, but it's summer. We have a lot of things to do. Or rather, he does. I have no life.

Fou? Oh yeah, Fou. She came up wit this for us. Enjoy. :D

One day, the Earl was making his daily rounds of exploiting on human misery. You know, nothing out of the ordinary. Until he came across one mourning human that was different from the others. This human was definitely grieving at the loss of his wife, but he also seemed a little relieved.

"Do you wish to see your wife again?" The Earl said.

"You can do that?" The human replied.

"Of course I can!" He exclaimed. "In fact, I'll do it for you right now, no questions asked."

"Okay!" The human said with a grin. "But she's your problem."

That should have been the Earl's first clue, but he was too wrapped up in his fanfare to notice. As he molded the spirit into the shape of the Akuma, he coul tell something was terribly wrong, but it was too late to stop it.

As soon as the Akuma took its shape, it sliced open the man and took possession of its body, as if it was born with the instinct to kill. It then ran out the door before the Earl could say anything.

That was odd. He thought to himself, but he forgot the whole incident.

A few days later, Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda were walking to pick up groceries for Jerry as punishment for asking too many questions. (Lol.) Everyone except for Lenalee was carrying more groceries than any one person could hold. They were about to enter the butcher's shop to pick up 14 pounds of bacon when they heard a scream from an alleyway. By the time the Exorcists reached the scene of the murder, all that was left was a body stripped of all internal organs.

"It must have been an Akuma," Kanda declared before he saw the body.

"Oh, how right you are," Said a voice from behind him.

All four spun around to see a middle-aged man standing there with blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, which was a maniacal grin.

Before the four could respond, the Akuma started to transform. Where the middle-aged man once stood was now a goofy, 7-foot-tall pink bunny holding a rusty, blood-spattered chainsaw.

"Now, prepare to die, and fear my awesome Level 2 powers!"

"Not so fast!" Lavi said as he activated his Innocence, and the kanjis began to swirl around him.

"Now you will feel the wrath of my powers!" The Akuma exclaimed. "Stupify!"

Lavi then experience something that no man should ever feel. The experience of having your IQ dropped by an infinite number is similar to the feeling of having your brains bashed out with a bar of gold wrapped in chili peppers and garnished with a slice of lemon. This was what Lavi was experiencing.

The change was instant and noticeable. His eyes lost their luster, and a line of drool crept from the corner of his mouth.

"What was I doing?" He asked to no one in particular.

"You were killing that Akuma," Kanda growled.

"What's an Akuma?"

The other three simultaneously slapped their hands against their foreheads.

"We don't have time for this," Lenalee said to Allen and Kanda before turning to face Lavi. "Lavi, do exactly as I say and don't ask any questions, ok?"

A nod was all Lavi could manage.

"Okay, take your hammer and place it against that floating red symbol…No no, not that one, the other one…Okay, good."

Lavi nodded. "Now what?"

"Now smack it against the ground."

Lavi tapped his hammer very gently against the ground.

"Harder!"

Lavi smashed his hammer against the ground, destroying the surrounding cobblestone, but activating Hiban anyway.

"Ooo, pretty lights…" He said as he reached out to try and touch the pillar of flames.

"Don't touch it!" She scolded him. He immediately retracted his hand. However, with Lavi's weakened mental state, he blanked and missed the target.

"…Wow," Allen commented. "That was brilliant, Lavi."

"Really? Thanks!" Said guy laughed.

"Enough fooling around!" the Akuma yelled. "All of you shall suffer my brain draining wrath. Stupify!"

Allen and Lenalee felt the effects instantly. As there IQ slipped away, the only thing they could do was muter "Help".

But for some unexplained reason, Kanda was completely unaffected by the Akuma's attack. Many have speculated that he already had his brains bashed out by a bar of gold wrapped in chili peppers and garnished with a slice of lemon. However the more common opinion is that Kanda's IQ was so low I couldn't possibly get any lower.

"What a stupid ability," Kanda hissed as he drew Mugen.

The rest of the battle went along the lines of this: Kanda stabbed the Akuma with Mugen until it exploded. Lenalee an Allen's IQ returned to normal shortly thereafter, but Lavi's took longer to stabilize. So, the group was too tired of taking care of Lavi's newfound stupidity to get the bacon, so they returned o the Order, where they were yelled at by Jerry for not getting it.

For the next few weeks, after Lavi recovered, he couldn't stop teasing Kanda once he found out he wasn't affected by the Akuma's ability. Kanda countered with talking about how stupid Lavi had been. It took most of the Oder to finally calm them down and forget the incident.

Lol. This was fun to write, too. Much thank you, Fou. We love you. :P

Allen would like to say: "Coming up with new idea for What Id is hard. I'm sure that you, our adoring fans, have many scenarios that you would like to see us answer. TO make a suggestion for the next What If chapter, leave it in a commet."

He means review. I refused to edit that because he said it. D:

Idea by Fou; Written by Allen/Road (mostly Allen); Edited by Road; Published by Road/Allen.

Constructive criticizm is loved. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows, which will be force-fed to Fou (who happens to be in Alaska right now).