DevineOne : Thank you for the loverly review, it is much,er,loverly-ified :)
I don't own anything you may/do see and/or reconize hbere, they are all under the thumb of Louise Rennison ...*grumbles*lucky girl,wish it was me...*grumble grumble,arse arse.
The Hardness Is Only Start
Saturday,October 29th
20,000 Feet In The Air (Or Is That The Time?)
12p
I can't believe I am actually on a plane to Hamburger-a-go-go Land, with MASIMO !
I feel like singing and dancing with joy,only I can't because I've ate about 20 pounds of chocolate and I'm afraid that if I stand up my pants may explode.
Everything is going perfect already.I mean yes,we had to stop off at my place to get more clothes and my makeup and so on, then again to grab my extra spending money -i.e. the 1,500 extra pounds that Dad left on the counter to fly the rest of us to the Midlands after his confernece thingy, that Mum left on the counter, and yes,we nearly missed the plane and they had to stop it and turn it around for us, making about 500 million people very,very mad at us,but still, not a hitch so far !
Maimo reached over and squeezed my hand. "So does this mean you want to be official?"
I looked at him and said "Isn't it a bit late to ask?" and he laughed. Blimey he's got such a scrummy numboes laugh, and he's SUCH nip libbler extroiddannaire.
3 Seconds Later
Wait, no,Dave is the lip nibbler, not Masimo.
34 Seconds Later
I wonder why Dave popped up (oo-er!) like that?
5p
We're there!
And about time,too.I could feel a bit of a nervy b coming on from being cooped up so long.
As we circled around before we landed,I looked out the city looked very nice-all the lights were looked like they lit up for us.
I wonder if Mutti and Vati have noticed I'm missing,yet?
Probably not.
5.30p
Bligh it's boiling out!
Thank god I thought ahead to pack my extra flip flops just in case.
As we went out of the airport,Masimo took my hand and squeezed it.
I squeezed his,back.
This is going to be GREAT,I can FEEL it !
7.30p
I thought we'd be staying in a hotel,being our first night and all, but no,we're staying at one of Masimo's aunts lives in 's vair vair noisy is shouting at each other out their windows and playing hockey and the mad.
His aunt,Missus Rossini ('but you can call me Flo') lives on the very end in a high-rise, whith means it's a block of flats that rises very,very must be about 100 stories tall.
She lives with her two sons, their wives, and their three sons.. Masimo rang the doorbell,I sort of hid behind stomach felt all fluttery and sick, like I swallowed a crate of Masimo took my hand and pulled me next to roughly,actually...
"This is family, you're family now." he asking me to marry him?
I was about to ask,but then the door slammed open and two boys, about round Lib's age, ran out shouting in Italian.I looked at Masimo and he was laughing. "Those are my 't worry, everyone here speaks the English also." which was a of.
20 Minutes Later
If you thought my house was mad, this is about 10 times here hugs and kisses aLOT, and I don't mean brothers snog each other,I mean everytime they see each other,even passing in the halls, they kiss each other on both Flo keeps pinching me and telling me I'm too skinny. So far she's made me eat a plate of lasagna. two rolls, a salad, 2 pieces of pie and a glass of sparkiling juice stuff.
.At this rate,I'm going to be as big as Slim in a week.
1 Minute Later
Well, okay, maybe not THAT large...but stilll...
10 Minutes Later
I bet Slim will explode like a bucket of lard (which she is) when she see's I've gone.
Tee hee.
8pm
It is quite nice to have a proper that cooks, and cleans and doesn't dress like a tart and drive a clown car,,,,, and asks you if you'd like to share a room with Masimo.I nearly choked to death on my spaghetti when she asked me that.
I probably had redness of the whole head.
Thank the dear Lord Sandra Masimo was in the loo.
I managed to say "Er,no thank-you.I-I mean wer,we're not-" and she hugged me and said "Oh, me want to keep things,..whole untill you marry?" which made me go even rederr-er.
Blimey, Masimo wasn't kidding me when he told me they were vair open with each other !
Later
Somehow ended in Masimo's room after all.
like that, you saucy minxes! Like, you know, not even with him, or even next to him or anything.I'm sleeping on the minicouch thing on the foot of the bed.
I was going to be on the couch in the family room but the youngest boy, Mario,drank too much coke and peed the couch,so here I am.
10 Minutes Later
It's a bit lonely in my own little sofa thing in a new city.
But thrilling at the same time.
No cold bottys ,not mad cats savaging my ankles...
I hope Vati doesn't sell Angus while I'm gone.
Then I really will never talk to him again.I can barely stand to already.
35 Minutes Later
I wonder if anyone misses me?
It's 1am here so, that's 6 hours away,plus three time zones times...oh, forget it.I can't do 's too jangly for my brain.
Numbers give me the mental droop.
Like 8,for example.
25 minutes Later
Masimo snores a .
2 Minutes Later
Blimey, even the way he snores gives me the horn.
He IS a Luuuuuuuurve God, after all !
12 Minutes Later
What could he possibly see in me? What are my best features? My eyes ? My casual sophisticosity?
I like everything about Masimo...his eyes,his lips...mmm...
I wonder if I can sneak over, just for a peek,without waking him up...hmmm.
Next to Masimo
Masimo looks very peaceful when he 's got a soft little smile on his face...yum yum.
I wonder if he'd mind if I kissed him, just a little kiss,while he's sleeping?
17 Seconds Later
Oh, Freaky deaky! I was sitting here, thinking over whether I should do it (shut up) or not, and Masimo opened his eyes and said "What are you thinking,caro?"
""You look er,I mean...I really like your family."
He sat didn't have his shirt on and I could see his muscles.I had an overwhelming urge to run my tongue over them.
Good Lord, I'm turning into a sex-crazed cannibal thing!
Masimo patted the bed next to him."Come,sit."
He saw the look on my face and saif 'It is ok, I not hurt you." and I went over and slid into bed next to pulled the covers up over my feet."Better?You look cold?"
"Yeah, and the sofa is a bit lumpy."
He looked at me in my eyes for the longest time,then said "You can sleep here, if you like."
I felt my face go god,I can't breathe.I think I'm having a nery spaz.
'I can sleep on is good for my back."
"You shouldn't sleep on the 's your family."
"And you're my...guest."
Guest?
But then he put his arm round me and I had to sit quickly to not fall over.
He looked at me a bit oddly and I was afraid he'd gone off me,but then he scooted over and let me slide in next to him.
"You smell nice,bellisima."
"Er,thanks you smelll...manly"
He laughed. Goooood ! and put his arm round me.
"Come let us drift to,how you say,Boboland?"
He pulled me down with my head on his chest.
He's got a bit of a hairy chest,It's quite soft,like a little downy pilllow.
Cor,I've got the general Horn quite badly!
Sunday,October 30th
11am
Woke up to six pairs of eyes watching oldest son, he must have been about 13 or 14,said "Look at the size of those tits."
I looked down and realized the covers were off of me,revealing my halter I was in to Masimo.
And I fell asleep with my makeup god oh god, not good,NOT good.
I grabbed the covers over my movement woke Masimo who rolled over "What is it,caro?"
"Uhm, nothing,it's just your...nephews are here."
He sat up and the Mario said "Aunty says to tell you and your girlfriend Lunch is ready." and they all ran out.
Masimo looked at me."You sleep bonne?"
"Oh yes, er,tres bonne. grazie."
"You are welcome." and he leaned over and kissed though I had morning makeup had mostly rubbed off on my my hair looks like I've stuck my finger in an electric socket.
3 Seconds Later
I feel like the most bea-uuutiful girl in the world.
Noon
Today Masimo is meeting with some corporate talent blokes so I'm spending the day with the famalgia.
After a big fight, which ended with a broken nose and a crate of cabbage out the window, they decided I should go on a tour to see New York,New York.I didn't tell them I've been here I did I'd have to tell them why,and they'd get the wrong idea about my family if I told them it was for a clown car convention.
I even get the wrong idea about my family thinking about it and I know them.
4pm
Home again,well,er,,sort of.
My tootsies are killing me.
Normal people take cabs, but ,you have to remember, this is of the Colonel, half man,half chicken, and extremely large shorts.
So we walked must have walked about a thousand miles (or whatever) today.
We went to the Statue of Liberty and then the Empire State Building and we dropped pennies off the top untill we were 'asked' to leave, by the police.
With a police escort.
7pm
Masimo finally home !
He came and gave me a big snog and said "Ciao,bellisima" in front of EVERYONE!
I am pretty sure his aunt was crying.
Or it was because Mario had just stuck her in the eye with this Statue of Liberty statutee thingy.
31st
9a,
Masimo is out at the recording studio,AGAIN!
1pm
Masimo still off.
Blimey, he's must of made oodles of cds or records or...well you know, by NOW!
7pm
The boys wanted to go trick-or-treating,so we all went out.
Halloween is very diferent here -instead of going house to house for treats they go from department store to department store.
But they have better treats-not only candy,but stuff like t-shirts, fake tattoos,rubber snakes,...you get the idea.I didn't bring a bag with me,because I didn't want Masimo to know I still went out and begged for candy but it didn't matter because the boys shared theirs with me.
I ate so much chocolate that I think I'm going to be sick down my self,plus I wore my heels,thinking we'd ride a taxi to most places.I didn't realize New York,New York is about a zillion miles the time we got back,my feet had swollen to about twice their normal size.
I better soak them,to reduce the swelling.I don't want Masimo to get back in and my feet look like elephant feet.
Like Slim has got.
9p
I fell asleep soaking my feet!
I was dreaming I was in London, walking along the Thames, and for some reason I was wearing all green,which I would never 's not good for my are my best color,I black.
At any rate,I was walking along, throwing french bread in the water to feed the ducks and Dave pops out of a bush dressed like a tries to tell me something but can't,because he's a mime, and mime's don't Masimo comes round the bend,sees Dave trying to talk to me, and picks up Dave and throws him in the water.
What on Earth can that mean?
Woke up and Masimo was in the kichen,cooking an his shirt on.
is all I can say.
And bliiiiiiiiimey !
3a
Watched horror movies with Masimo.
I mainly hid his face in his chest, which was gave me an excuse to breath him in .He' wears a sort of musky cologney-type stuff,only Italian.
Fell asleep on the couch like that,with his arm around was vair vair nice.
Tuesday,November 1st
8a
Up bright and early(ish!).
Well, as bright as floods can be -raining like billio out.
8.10a
When I went into the kitchen Masimo was already up in a cool blue looked tres yummy.
He was reading some papers, but when I came in he looked up and smiled at me "Cio, sleep good?"
I smiled at him "Yuppperooney." Oh dear God,did I just say 'yupperooney'? Masimo has le idiot for a girlfriend...if that's what I am.
He didn't seem to mind, stood up and pulled a seat out for me,like you see guys do in luuurve sat down after I did, then toook my hands.
Er, I don't mean he cut my hands of my wrists and ran off with them. He just held them.
He said 'I have very good news.I talk to the record studio,they say I have good voice and they want me to sing for them again."
"That's fab!Are you going to make your own cd then,here,in New York New York?"
"Not ask me to fly to is Motown celebration will be major recorders there and he thinks I have better chance getting known by being out,singing,live,so will sell more, and get a name."
"But you already have a name."
He smiled 'You are silly I mean was, I sing for this Motown,I get seen by million people, people see me they say 'Yes, there is a talented singer'.I'd sell more music that way."
"Oh, so it's sort of like audtioning for a you learn some lines and memorize them, so when you go to an actual audition you know what you're doing and don't set the set on fire or anything." Not that I've done that or anything...but Rosie has.
I wonder how Rosie and everyone is doing?I never really got to say goodbye.I bet they miss me oodles.I miss them bunches.I even miss Jas' mad ramblings.
I realized Masimo asked me a queston. "Er,what sorry?"
"I say. you want to go with me, to see Indiana?"
I said "You have to ask?" and he looked startled.
"I do?"
"No, it was rhetorical."
"What is rhetorical?"
"It's...oh never mind.I'll go with you, yes."
It's exhausting, trying to talk to him sometimes,not that it's his fault that he's Italian.I just think everything would be easier if everyone just spoke English.
Proper English,I mean,not the Hamburger-a-go-go Land type's leave letters out of they say aluminum ...not aluminium. Tres annoying.
Masimo squeezed my hand and said "That is happy to plane leaves tomorrow early so pack and sleep to day."
He stood up and started pulling a coat on.
"You're going out again?"
"Yes, caro,I have much work to do." He turned around and saw my face "You are sad, why is this?"
"It's just-wehaven'tseeneachotherinagesandnowwe'rehereandyou'reoutallthetimeandIdon'tevenknowifwe'reacoupleornot."
He leaned over, and kissed me on the lips, softly. "Do not will have much the time to spend together soon."
I stood there all jelloid and stupid as he went to the door,but as he opened it I came to my senses(ish) and stopped him.
"So are well,like you know,or not? I mean.."
Good lord, is Ellen rubbing off on me (shut up and leave it) ?
Masimo put his hands on my chin and tilted my head so I was looking directly in his eyes.I felt hot and melty all over. Goooood.
"Do you want be my girlfriend?"
I thought "Hm,let me I want to be the GIRLFRIEND of a certified ITALIAN STALLION/SEX GOD?YES I DO!" but said "Yes." If I said what I was thinking I mught have come off a bit...insane.
Anyhow,I said 'yes' and Masimo leaned over and snogged me.
We could have snogged for ages, but Mario ran in ,saw us and yelled "They're making out !They're making out!" Masimo jumped away from me like a lemming and said "Until later." then he kissed me again, just a little peck, then went out.
I had to hold on to the doorframe to keep from falling legs were wobbly for ages.
10am
Packed and seems my belongings have grown since last week.
I had to sit on my rucksack so I could do up the zip.
3pm
Big Scrabble tourney.
Had to rush the youngest girl,Maribella, to Casualty ('E.R.') to dislodge the letter 'Z' from her nose.
How it got up there I do not know.
Wednesday,November 2nd
6a
Only dawn and already the place is a madhouse.
I packed last night, but I had packed my clothesmakeup,and toothbrush so I had to unpack everything again, and then Mario tripped over my stuff and sprained his wrist.I still believe it wasn't my fault-he was told not to run in the flat in the first will anyone listen to me? course not.
12p,Indianapolwhatsit
Finally there.
I recieved a huge shock as we got off the plane -it's bloody COLD.
It must be at least 20 degrees colder here than it was in New York,New York.
And everyone here smiles New York,New York, you're more likely to be mugged,shot or cursed at then smiled at,a million times over.
15 Minutes Later
The city is alot smaller than New York New York, and there's pictures of really-good looking blokes sitting in cars,waving, EVERYWHERE.
I said to Masimo, my BOYFRIEND, "They must really love cars here." Masimo, my Italian Stallion BOYFRIEND said "The races are very popular here."
Races? What does horse racing have to do with cars?Unless they do it differently here (oo-er!),like the horses ride in cars or something.
Huh.
We went and ate then found a hotel nearish where Masimo is going to sing.
The room had only one bed,which I thought was rude for Masimo to do, but I didn't say anything.I don't know if he's paying for the rooms, or the record co. is and thought it was only going to be Masimo, my BOYFRIEND,there.
And did I mention Masimo is my BOYFRIEND?
We sngoged the whole plane ride over, almost.I'm just worried that he'll want to do ...a bit more and I don't know if I'm ready for that or not.
Last night we got to # 8,above-waist activity (indoors), and I could tell he really really liked it, but he didn't push me to do er,more.
And it did leave my nunga-nungas all red and sore.
I wonder if anyone else in the Ace Gang has gotten as far as I have?I doubt Ellen,Jas or Jools have, but I don't know about Rosie (understatement of the year).She told me she ands Sven do alot of stuff not even on the underwater-snogging (and nearly drowned doing it), and bicycle snogging, and even ear says it makes her go all jello-y and stupid all over, like when Dave the Laugh nip libbles me.
15 Seconds Later
Why does Dave keep popping up?
It's not like I like him or anything (much).
Just as a mate.
45 Seconds Later
With marvy snogging skills...
3 Minutes Later
I miss the Ace Gang.
2 Minutes Later
Masimo is in the shower, so maybe I should ring them...
2 Minutes Later
I couldn't figure out how to do the international codes,and I ended up talking to someone in Japan that owned a squid bait shop.
Hm...there should be a paper here telling you how to dial out...
15 Minutes Even More Later
Well, I found out how, in the phone book, but just as I got ready to dial Masimo came out in a towel with no shirt on and I nearly he's so gorgey and yummy and ...yum!
Masimo saw me staring and smiled."Hello."
"Nrghhh." I felt my face go this again.
He smiled though and came over and kissed me. His face was still warm and damp from the was very nice-like he was steaming my face and snogging me at the same time.
10 Minutes Later
Somehow I found myself on my back, and Masimo over me.
He's such a good snogger. He does varying pressure,like Rosie says Sven must be some sort of International thing.
I don't know if it applies to Hamburgese types,I've never snogged one, nor do I think I ever will any time soon.
Masimo sort of moaned on my neck and drew me back to started kissing down my neck and I felt myself go all stupid and warm.
MMMMmmm..maybe this isn't so bad after all.
30 Minutes Later
I am sitting here in shock.
I can't believe I was the one doing it..and I mean literally.
I did..trouser snake dancing.
Holy Hell.
I am now a woman.
I mean,I was before,you know, THAT happened,but now I'm a women like Madonna.
4 Seconds Later
Ok,maybe not like Madonna.I hear she does trouser snake dancing a I've done...IT just once.
She's more like my Mum,big nunga-nungas poking out wily-nily.
She's even wore a cone bra would be vair dangerous if Mutti did that -she'd poke out everyone breasty business sort of runs free and wild and all over the place on their own.
3 Minutes Later
I just had a mental image of Mum's breastseses running amok down Main Street, swallowing people up like in the Blob.
Very scary.
But anyways,shoo.I'm a woman-woman now (as opposed to a man-woman? OO-er).
5 Minutes Later,Looking In The Loo Mirror
I don't look any different except my nunga-nungas are a bit bigger.
Or they may just be played with them alot.
I don't know exactly how IT happened, but it minute we were on the bed,snogging for our lives, and the next thing I know I had taken off his towel.I didn't MEAN to .My hands sort of crept down on their in that movie,Idle Hands where a kid's hand are possessed by the devil and go about on their my hands weren't killing people, just removing towels off of very naked, yummy Sex Gods.
After I did that he started to kiss harder, and he sort of pulled me up closer to him and then...we did it.
It sort of hurt at first, and I bled a little. I must be having my monthly visitor early.
At any rate,it was nice but not at all like I expected.
I'm just glad Masimo had,you know,rubbers.
3 Minutes Later
Oh hell.I went to the loo and saw my self in the mirror-I've got love bites all over my .I look like I've been attacked by a vampire.
15 Minutes Later
While Masimo is out getting something to eat I am going to do serious makeup work,then I am going to ring the Ace Gang.I have SERIOUS news.
15 Minutes Even More Later-er
Ok, my makeup is done.I think I did a good job, hiding the marks.I just used a lot of base and concealer and a hint of panstick,then I brushed a ITTY BITTY bit of blush on it so my neck doesn't look like it's covered in white spots.
It actually doesn't look have bad.
Huh.
Anyways,now time to call the Ace Gang.
I am a bit nervous to ring them, if Mutti and Vati are there and they pick up?
Can't the police track phone numbers?Then they'd know where to go, and they'd def. kill me.
I better ring Rosie can call back from the phone booth outside hers.
It rang about 10 times before she picked up "Yes,I know,I know, I'll be there in 5"
"Rosie?"
"GEORGIA?"
"Bloody hell, why'd you scream like that?"
"Why'd you leave?"
"Why did you scream?"
"Why did you leave?"
"i asked first"
"Well-ok, because you've been missing for thought we'd never hear from you again."
"I ring and the first thing you do is have a nervy spaz."
"Well, it's just -SVEN GET OFF THE TABLE IN MY HEELS, YOU'LL SCRATCH IT UP-sorry, everyone's round and it's a bit mad."
"Are you having a party?
"No, actually, we were talking about says you called from Masimo's but by the time she got there you'd thought the worst that Masimo had,you know,kidnapped you and called the police!"
"Rosie, can you do me a favor and KILL her for me?"
I heard Jas in the background "Is that Gee?Let me talk to her !Let me talk to her!"
Rosie said off the phone 'Owow, stop hitting me you cream-faced ." then Jas' voice came over "Where in the hell are you?"
"I am sitting in a hotel, eating chocolate and having the time of my life,being waited hand and foot on by a Sex the hell are you?"
"We were having a meeting!We were really scared, thought-well,you is here. Dave was here was soo mad when he heard you've was a bit scary."
Dave? Mad?
"Is he still there?"
"No,,you just missed 's taking this really rough."
's odd.I wonder why?
Jas went on 'Oh,I am so gald you're ARE ok,aren't you?He didn't make you do anything you know,bad?"
Oo-er.
"Don't get your ginormous panties in a 're OK."
"We?"
"Yes,'re official!"
"Cor."
"I know."
There was a pause then "Did you say panties?"
"Er,?"
"YOU'RE IN AMERICA?"
I held the phone from my ,I'm going to be deaf soon.
"We thought you two had gone to Italy or London or something,What in the name of Lord Sandra are you doing in AMERICA?"
"Well, Masimo has a big singing gig, and we're getting ready for it."
I heard Ellen say "Is, like,she,you know."
Jas said "Ellen wanted to know if you'll be doing anything with him?"
"Oo-er."
"Shut up and I don't know yet." I heard a car door slam and peeked out round the plaid (yes,I said plaid) curtains.
"Listen,Masimo's back and he needs help with the my best to everyone!' and I rang off.
It honestly made me a bit teary-eyed to hear the Gang's voice again, but I must be one likes an emotional popstar's girlfriend.
Went and opened the door for Masimo who looked shocked, untill I realized I didn't have any PANTS on .I jumped behind the door and closed it as Masimo came in.
Masimo laughed though and said "Hello to you too." and kissed me.
4p
Over a big chinese dinner Masimo told me that the practices for the concert start tomorrow morning and would take all day.
I said "Is there anything I can do?"
And Masimo looked at me a bit, then said "I don't have the know.I'll ask tomorrow when I go."
I felt my heart drop a bit "I'm not going too?"
"You want come along?" as if I was a two year .
"Yes, I'm sure I can help somehow.I was in drama for a LONG time.I can make sets and design costumes and so forth"
Masimo thought a bit then said "Ok,you come too."
Yes!
Hollywood, here I come !
Thursday,November 3rd
5a
Up at dawn to get ready,shower,etc.
I still have to get up before Masimo hasn't seen me without makeup on and I want to keep it that way,when everything is going so good like it is.
6a
Right,I am completely ready and Masimo still has another 2 hours before he gets up.
So now I can just slip back into bed and pretend I've been asleep this whole time, and when he wakes up and sees me he'll think "Cor,how did such a gorgey-io women get in bed with me?"
Yes,it's a very good plan.
8a
bugger bugger
I didn't plan on falling asleep, but I did and now my eyeliner is all smeary.I'm going to have to re-do EVERYTHING.
I never knew being the girlfriend of a pop star would be so exhausting !
8.30a
When I got out of the loos,hair in tip-top bouncibility and makeup fixed,Masimo was already up,stroking his guitar.
Oo-er.
No, that's not what I I meant was he was sitting on the edge of the bed,playing with his guitar.
Er,I mean...oh,forget know what I it doesn't mean what you think you know what it means.
At all.
ANYHOW,he looked up and saw me watching smiled and set the guitar aside.
He was only in his PANTS.
He doesn't wear briefs like most men do (so I've heard).He wears little men-thong things.
The one he was wearing today was red.I found it very hard NOT to stare.
"Good sleep good?"
"Erngmgf."
He laughed and came over to me and snogged me.
9a
Bugger,bugger,bugger,we've only got 30 minutes to eat and get to whereever the practices are being held.
Not that IT wasn't nice...it didn't hurt so much this time.I think I'm getting better at it too becaue it didn't take as long for Masimo to...finish.
He kept doing this moany-breathy thing in my made my red bottom emerge so I did it to him and he said something in Italian.
I hope it was something good, and not "Blimey, my girlfriend's breath smells like a wet dog" or anything.
2 Seconds Later
No,my breath is OK.
So he must have something good.
4 Minutes Later
Oo-er,you don't think...
I mean,we HAVE been spending alot of time together,playing cards and talking and trouser snake dancing.
He must love me by wouldn't?
I am gorgey and have a brilliant sense of witticismosity and could possibly resist?
No one,that's who.
Just like I can't resist Masimo with his gorgey eyes,soft lips...mmmm...
But I don't think I l-word just yet.
I mean I love him as a mate and snoggee and a trouser snake dancing partner,but that's about it.
For now.
I don't know about tomorrow .Only Baby Jesus and the Beardy One (no you fules,not Vati..God.) do.
9.30a
Pulled in just in time (ooer).
We're practicing at a theater,where they have plays and so on.
Masimo said they have a really big stage and auditorium so it's perfect for sound check,whatever that when they're checking sound is coming out their I don't see why they have to use a whole audiwhatsit for can just use their ears,and that is the mysterosity of guitar pluckers.
When we went in there were already about a hundred people milling about,talking and chatting.
When they saw me and Masimo come in,holding hands,they elbowed each other and started 're probably jealous they don't have an Italian Sex God as their plaything.
Masimo squeezed my hand and whispered "Do not be the nervous.I am here." OOooh,that's SO 's looking out for me like a..brother.
ERLACK, no no no,that's not I mean is he's looking out for me like a brother, but not in an Oedipus way, in a looking-out-for-you way.
Anyhow,we wernt round the stage to the back to where the singers were 10 in all, including 3 girls. They were all made up and proffesional-looking but when they saw Masimo they started gigling and flipping their .
Masimo ignored them though and said to a man with a clip board "This is my,ah,girlfriend, came here to help."
Clipboard Man looked me over " can you do?" He was very scary,like a more mannish version of Slim.
"Er,back home I was in drama and I made all the sets and costumes and so forth,and I came up with ways to improve the plays."
Like Furry Hand I didn't say Slim didn't look like he ever had a laugh would get along great with Slim.
They could get married and have elephantine babies.
Shut up,brain.
Clipboard Slim said "Ok,you'll help the guys with the sets." He handed me a bunch of papers. "Fill these out."
I flipped through must have been about 20 pages in expects me to READ all this?
I can barely be buggered to do my homework.
Mr. 'Slim' saw my questioning look and said "They're release forms,so if you get hurt you can't hold me liable and sue."
He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around,pointing at a group of boys off in the back."They'll help you with any they don't know,ask me."
I felt an urge to click my heels together and to salute and say "Ja,Herr Komandant:" ,like we used to do whenever Herr Kamyer asked us a question in German...or Physics,but managed to supress it.
I nodded like a nodding thng. "Ok" I smiled at Masimo and he said "Bye Caro." and I went to where Herr Kom,er,Clipboard Man had pointed me.
18 Minutes Later
The boys are vair bonkers, like male versions of the Ace Gang !
James is the head bonker,er,'s a bit like Jas, all serious and without a crap has actually got quite cool hair.
Donnie is like Ellen, all ditherspazzy and dim, with aLOT more acne of the whole head.
Alan is like Jools,he's even you know...boy-crazy too.
Yes,like THAT (not that there's anything wrong with it..) .
Greg is like Honor and Mabs put together (shutup shutup) :quiet but can be a bit mad sometimes.
Derek is like Rosie, completely off his less beard-y and Viking-y,but more mad in general.
And Jake is like Dave,he's a laugh and completely I first walked up to them he said "Are you here to show us how to use our tools?",holding a screwdriver like it's his..you know..boy-y bit, and everyone laughed.
I am going to have to call him Jake the Laugh.
They build the sets and costumes for everything,plus they do all the lighting and curtainwork.
James said "We are the brains of the operation." and Jake said "Yes, and Randy is the ass."
"Who's,er,Randy?"
"You met him, the walking turd himself."
"Head honcho."
"Big Head."
"And big ass."
'You mean the scary guy with the clip board?"
"Yep,he's Randy."
"Ooo-er."
"What does ooer mean?We don't speak ...England-English."
"It means...oo-er.
They just looked at me.
I said "Back home,randy means you're wanting to er..."
And they all did that nodding thing boys do.
Then Jake said "What's snogging? And can you practice on me?"
"Snogging is frontal knutschen with tongues involved,which is I think #4 on the snogging scale."
And then I had to tell them about the snogging loved it, especially my German the rest of the day we shouted out "Nein!" and "Auf Gehen Ganze!" whenever someone asked us to tighten nuts or nail something (ooer!)
Very,very like back home.
So maybe this won't be so bad after all.
'Home'
I am vair vair and completely tuckered out.
I never work would be such hard work !
I said that to Masimo, I said "I never work would be such hard work." and he said "The hardness is only start."
Whatever that means.