Praise My PANTS In Whom My Girly Bits Flow Chapter 13: Heaven Is A Place In MY PANTS, a confessions of georgia nicolson fanfic

IluvDTLandGeeNicks -Take a deep breath...Ohmmm...read the next few chappies :)

Like DTL says...nothing is ever what it PANTS...I mean seems !

I do NOT,I repeat NOT own any thing here that has to do with Georgia Nicolson,her isms ,chracteristics,mad sisters or bonkers cats.

Those are Louise Rennsion's :)

please R&R

Heaven Is A Place In MY PANTS.

Tuesday,November 8th

8a,Bed

Today is my first day off and I'm up like an earwig early .

The last few days have been EXHASUTING.

I've been helping to create the set and sew costumes and so on..I didn't bother telling them I didn't know how to sew-it's just a minore detail.

The concert is going to be tres 's Motown-themed, so it's full of 60s-type cat suits and big black there's always music like the Supremes,the Jackson 5,the 4 Tops...etc. playing.

So It's like Drama class...only FUN.

Minus the tragic bobs.

And I get paid !

The Beardy Ace Gang,as I call Jake,Donnie,Alan,Greg,Derek and James and are beyond that I help or anything(ish).

I taught them the Viking Victory Horn Dance and now between breaks we dance like mad to whatever music is a ...laugh.

Masimo caught me dancing once and looked at me like I've gone competely bonkers but what does he know?

He's not much in the laugh department.

He does look gorgey when he sleeps,though.

I may be spending too much time with the Beardy Ace Gang,though -everytime Masimo snogs me I keep seeing Dave in my head,doing the Congo or the twist and it gives me the mad giggles.

You know the kind, once you get them you can't stop.

Yes,I had those.

And I know,it's very off-putting for someone to laugh as you're snogging them.

20 Minutes Later

You know,I don't think I've ever seen Masimo actually laugh.

1 Minute Later

Even Robbie had a laugh now and then, and he wrote depressing songs about dolphins being made into tuna and saving the enviroment and so on.

3 Minutes Later

I bet Dave would think dancing like Vikings to the Supremes was a laugh.

Jas said he's not been much of a laugh lately,though.I wonder why?

Do blokes get PMS ?

Ooo-er where would they put the tampon !

I was going over all this in my head and didn't notice Masimo was awake untill his hand snaked up and squeezed my thigh.I screamed and jumped about 100 feet,neasrly missing the bed by mere centimeters.

Tres attractive.

Not.

"What are you thinking?"
I smiled at him "Nothing." and leaned over and kissed him.

Masimo is SUCH a gorgey,fab singer .I can't believe he is that is mine all miney !

He looked at me a bit and I realized I was staring.I felt my face go beetroot.

"Er,sorry,I was just...thinking."

"That is good, you think.I have to sing so go watch tv, ok? And we will do something together,later." and he leaned forward,kissed me on the cheek and put his headphone on.

10 Minutes Later

He is soooo gorgey, sitting on the bed and singing with his eyes closed.

How did I get so damn lucky to have an Italian Stallion Sex God as my plaything?

2 Minutes Later

Ooops-I'm staring again.

10 Seconds Later

And drooling.I'm glad he didn't see.

I better go find something to do before I completely wet myself.

20 Seconds Later

Ooo-er!

Watched tv untill Masimo made -a-go-go Land has the funniest Mind Punk''d reminded me of Dave,and how one time,in Chems,he doused his hand in some chemical,I can't be bothered to remember what kind, and set his hand on fire, and then raised hish and to ask a question.

Vair hilarious.

3 Minutes Later

And the time he put the "For Sale" sign on his school.

2 Minutes Later

And the time he was in charge of the lights diring a play and he kept switching them off, and everyone fell off the stage.

Those were fun times.

12 Minutes Later

Masimo was watching me sit there and laugh,remembering when Elvis tripped over his own wheelbarrow and pulled his back, because I told him Jas was on fire.

"Are you alright?"

"Alrighty as two things." Good Lord,did I just say that to my INTERNATIONAL POPSTAR BOYFRIEND?

He must have not understood ,though because he said "You looked sad so I was asked."

I looked sad ? I was laughing my PANTS off (oo-er).

That shows how much of an un-laugh Masimo is,not knowing the difference between madness and sandosity.

I smiled at him and said "OK,Be good girl." and put his headphones on.

Like I was a dog.

32 Minutes Later

He may not be much in the Laugh Department but he's got a gorgey voice.

I think he sings "I Can't Help My PANTS." even better than the Four that's my vair vair snog-based biased opinion.

2 Minutes Later

"Dancing In My Nuddy-Pants"

Hahahaha.

1 Minute Later

'Heaven Is A Place In MY PANTS."

Hahahaha,ohmygodohmygod,I can't breathe.

3 Minutes Later

Uh-oh.

Masimo turned and gave me the dirtiest of dirty looks.I said straight-faced,well as straight-faced as I could, "This show is,er,very funny."

Unfortunately the prank show over a show on the death of Princess Di was on.

Ooops.

7 Minutes Later,Outside

We both decided that it would be best if I went walking outside.

It's not my 's the one that came up with the whole PANTS fiasco, singing 'The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of PANTS" .

So Masimo didn't have to get the hump with me.

30 Seconds Later

It is soo 's abso. nothing exciting in this town.

45 Minutes Later

Decided to roll my skirt up and take a walk and see how many honks I get.I got 15 honks, two whistles and aLOT of stares.I would have walked longer but then the police told me to go away.

Actually,they first tried to haul me in because they thought I was a prozzie,and when I told them about the concert thing,they drove me back to the hotel.

Masimo was standing at the looked very worried when the police car pulled in in front of the room, but when he saw me get out of the veee-hick-le he said,and I quote "Oh, damn what has she done now?"
Which is lovely coming from my GORGEY ITALIAN STALLION BOYFRIEND.

12 Seconds Later

In case you didn't catch that, I was being sarky.

20 Minutes Later

Masimo smooth-talked the police into not throwing me in the pokey for a week or two, and then after they'd gone he came and stood in the door way,just looking at me siting on the bed.

I tried to look at him back without blinking,because blinking is supposed to be unattractive, but it was making my eyes burn like billio.

Finally he said "You want to go out,do something?You're not used to work all day and I forgot."

I smiled at him "Ok"

He walked over to me,gave me a little kiss on the cheek,and said "Get dressed then."

11p

I was wrong-there's TONS to do here!

We went to eat at a cool restraunt that had a live Jazz Band, then walked around the city for ages.

I'm glad I work more sensible shoes this met up with the Beardy Barmy Army and went was pure madness.

I was in a dress,for one thing, and didn't know how to bowl for a second er,thing.

Masimo tried to show me how to bowl, but after I acidentally (I swear,Officer!) dropped the ball on his toes 4 times he decided to sit it out and just watch us.

Which was a vair vair bad idea.

I mean,I did ok,considering everytime it was my turn,either Jake would sneak up steal my ball and run off with it to the men's loos,or Derek would jump on me like a horse and shout "Giuddyup!" or "Hooorn!".

The manager looked quite nervous when we came in but he came and even joined us after a while.

The alley had music playing over an intercom thing, mainly 80s music which provided for prime comedic PANTS oppurtnities.

We sang "Open PANTS", "Fallen PANTS", "Every PANTS Has A Thorn", and "Hold An Old Friend's PANTS" 'Heaven Is A Place In MY PANTS".

I told the Beardy Barmy Army about "The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of PANTS" and then they all wanted to start it,even the manager,Ricky.

It was a mad,mad very should do this every day off.

In the end of the game I got a 129, the second lowest had by far the lowest, he would do is is he'd grab his ball (leave it) and lob it like a disco thrower.

I don't think I've ever seen a bowling ball jump 5 lanes before.

I'm glad no one was hurt badly, just aLOT of bruised ankles.

The bowling alley guy,Rick,looked quite sad to see us leave and I was a bit,too,but I promised we'd be back next week and he nearly danced for joy.

20 Minutes Later

Had to put on a nice,cooling face face aches from laughing SO much.

I don't think Masimo had much fun,though.I kept looking back at him to see if he was having fun,too but he just sat there,frowning the whole time.

And when we got back I asked him if he wanted me to make a nice,refreshing fgoot soak for him,like I used to do at home after I wore heels and danced all night and when I got home my feet were red and swollen and ouchy, but he just said "I'm going to bed."

Bloody hell,what's up his arse?

A bowling ball,I'd say.

2 Seconds Later

That's not a mental image I think I'd ever want again.

Wednesday,November 9th

Woke up late,we were so tiredded out from yesterday's bowling fandango, so big mad rush to be on we got there,Jake's hair was standing on end.

As we lined up for our usual 'pep talk', i.e. Randy yells at us and we hum songs in our head,I whsipered "You look ike a cockatoo with a stick up his bum" and Jake whispered back "A cock with a stick up his bum?Sounds like paradise compared to Randy:" and we fell about laughing.

Lunch Break

Forgot my lunch,rushing about like mad this morning, so sharing Jake's nanner and cheesy whatsits.

I sat back against a rubber disco ball "Ahhh,this is the life."

Jake looked at me a long time and said "Did you have it rough back home then?"

"No,just my mum's a tart, my dad is daft and useless, my little sister is mad ,4 years old, and poos in my bed, and my cat ate my best tights."

Jake laughed and said "That's don't seem to be too badly messed up from it,though."

"I found ways to avoid it."

"How?"

"Going out with my mates, aLOT ."

As we went back to hammering and screwing things (oo-er!) I told them about Rom and Jul, and Twits and were quite mesmerized when I told them about Melanie's shirt popping open during the middle of her scene.

They nearly pissed themselves when I told them about how Dave said "Are thse my basoomas I see before me?".

I wonder how Dave is doing?

As we drove back to the hotel,we didn't really talk much.I was too tired and stiff to if I wasn't,I couldn't find anything to talk to him about.

Is this what it's like,being in a serious relationship?

Maybe that's why Mum and Dad are so shouty, they need to find something to talk about so they blame each other for eating the last poptart when,really,I so on.

Thursday ,November 10th

10a

Before we started today,Randy gave us a pep talk,similar to Slim's "Make England Proud' speech right before we left to France and Germany and nearly caused an international .

"The Big Day is only two weeks away,so you've got to buckle 're way behind schedule."

Someone,I am pretty sure it was Jake,called out "You've got plenty of behind to spare!" and everyone laughed.

Randy frowned "Any and all childness must be put to an 've got to buckle down and put our noses to the grindstone!We got alot of work to do and only days to get it done,so no more Mr. Nice Guy."

Derek asked "Who?I've never seen him?"

I could have sworn a vein in Randy's forehead popped. He turned very red and shouted at us, calling us 'lazy' and 'unreliable:' which was a bit rich coming from someone who does nothing but stand around,eating donuts and shout.

In the end, he told us that we're working longer hours and 7 days,even the singers,untill we get back on task.

Which is crap.

I might as well be back in Stalag 14.

Was painting a cloud when it hit said the singers will be working 7 days.I thought Masimo already was.

I told that to Jake.

Randy put us into pairs, thinking that would stamp out the Loonosity, but just meet up before it's time to get to work and plan when to do spontaneous dancing ,whenever someone says the code word.

Lately the code word has been 'fire',and about 70 percent of Motown and oldies-type songs have that word in it,so we're all exhausted and danced-out by the end of the day.

At any rate,I told Jake that Masimo was already working late.

He looked at me a long time.

"You said he's working all the time already?"
"Yes, 7 days, and he usually doesn't get in untill,like,8 or 9 o'clock."

He looked very sad,but just for a hugged me "I think Randy is losing his mad little must have forgotten he already said that,he's under so much stress and all."

I said "Yes,the gravitational pull on his gigantic arse must cause great stress" and Jake laughed.

Huh.I never noticed, but he laughs like Dave even. How...fitting.

He smiled at me,then squeezed my arm. 'I better tell him he's repeating himself.I don't want to hear that stirring pep talk he gave us this morning ever again" which made me laugh.

Randy wasn't kidding about staying 're only just starting to pack up for the night.

I helped Jake,Derek...and so on sweep up the wood shavings and take the trash out then went back in to find Masimo.

8.15p

This place is SO big. I can't find Masimo anywhere.

I asked around and on one's sen him either.

I hope he doesn't leave without 's a long ways walk to the hotel, and it's about 20 degreees out.

8.50p

I finally found Masimo talking to one of the other singers,I think her name was Kate,in the sound booth.

The light was hitting him from behind,and he looked so no one was around I would have snogged him right there.

Masimo must have felt me looking, like magnetism, and looked in my sort of jumped away from Kate and waved me over .
"Hello,how ares you?" He kissed me on the cheek.

"Good but my arms are aching like billio.I'm ready to go to bed."

"Ok, I have to pack my guitar then I be me at car?"

I said "Ok",then after a quick bit of #4 snogging,went to the car.

At least I can re-apply my maekup and so on before he gets here.I'm sure I look a mess.

9.10p,Car

I don't look so bad, just tired.

I'm going to be soooo glad when November 25th gets here and I can sleep in and reax again.I've not put on a face mask in ages and I you can see the lurkers lurking like...red,lurking lurkers.

Ergh.

Sunday,November 13th

7am

Finally got a day off(ish)-mice have gotten in and ate part of the curtains so exterminators had to be brought in,so nothing can be done in the theater as they're gassing it or whatever.

Things have been so crazy lately I'vw not had time to think.

The Sets are nearly done, all they need is painting and so says we're to use a glitter gun, but it sounds too good to be true.

We've been working 6 days a week on the set,and on days off we go crash parties or cause mayhem on the streets,running against a crowd and yelling "Stampede" or standingi n the town square like statues, and then when someone walks by smacking their bum or grabbing them and scaring the poo out of them (er,not literally).

You know, the usual madness.

But Masimo has been working 7 days a week and gets in later every night.I barely see him anymore.

And I love his snogging skills and all,but I sort of like being on my own a 's very nice and mad toddlers pooing everywhere, no shouty Vatis...this must be what it's like living on your own.

I must do it more often.

I think I am just going to sleep all , that sounds best.

But first,some snacks.

7.10a

Found some eggs in the mini fridge thing.

I can truy relax,now!

11a

Oh bugger,I fell asleep with the face mask on.

11.08a

I washed the mask off but my face still feels all tight and hurty.I hope this isn't permanent.

I am soooo bored and hungry.

1.20p

Now I am bored and sick.

Ate:

3 bananas

2 cups of coffee

3 snickers

2 Three Muskateers (don't be stupid,I meant the candy bar)

A handful of m&ms

Some cold oven fries with ketchup

and 2 cokes

I know what to do-I don't know why I didn't think of it before !

2 Minutes Later

The phone rang about a half-dozen times before someone picked up "Hullo, Viking Central, we have all your Viking Needs"

"I have viking needs."

"Shut up Sven,you big sexy fool,I'm on the phone."

"Hi Rosie"

"Gee! Fab to hear from you! How are you?What have you been doing?It's been ages since I've heard from it snowed there?We've been snowed in for a week now ands we're getting more snow all the next two weeks ! What have you been up to?Well, why don't you answer me?"

Nothing has changed there.

"Hi,I'm doing good,I'm part of the concert,I make sets and so on,and I am answering you."

"It;s great to hear from on,let me get everyone downstairs." And I heard her yell up the stairs 'OY GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE PRONTO."

There was a pause, then the thundering of mad feet then I heard Dave say "I am not going to wear a furry dress ,so get off it."

I flet my heart sort of jump into my mouth at the sound of his must have been the massive amount of chocolate I just consumed.

"This even better than furry beards."

There was rustling, then Dave came on the line "Hullo?"

"Your legs look quite nice in a dress."

"Georgia?"

"Oui"

"ohmy-how-I mean,what,er..."

"You have been spending too much time with Elen,Dave,she's rubbing off on you."

Dave went "Ooo-er" whicg made me laugh aLOT.

There was an awakrd pause, then he said "How are you,Georgia?"

"I'm beyond fab.I'm working on the sets for a concert thing, and eveyone I work with ,I call them the Beardy Barmy Army,are as mad as you.I taught one of them Jake,I call him Jake the Laugh because he reminds me a lot of you,he even smiles and laughs the way you do,anyways,I told him about the Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Pants" and now everyone is doing 's an international PANTSsation.:"

"Ooo-er.I guess I better now call you Georgia,Queen of the PANTS."

"I've got dance in my PANTS."

"The bigger the PANTS,the harder they fall."

"All you need is PANTS."

"Stop In The Name of PANTS."

"Every PANTS Has A Thorn."

"Heaven Is A Place In My PANTS."

"When I Look Into Your PANTS"

We could have gone on like that forever but then Masimo walked looked at me, then at the phone,then back to me again.

"Who you talking to?" he asked if I'm cheating on over the phone, snogging someone else,that's 20 thousand miles away.

Dave said "Is your boyfriend there?Does he have his handbag?"

I said to Dave "Shutup" but Masimo thought I was talking to him and grabbed the phone from me 'Who am I talk to?"

Unfortunately,the Ace Gang decided a sing-along was in order and was singing :"The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of PANTS."

He looked at me "What is the meaning of this?"
"Er,it's the music channel.I was just calling to request a song.I'm very bored and couldn't think of anything to do."

He stared at me and I was afraid he was going to yell at me,or worse,break up with me,but instead he sighed and said 'I am want to do something,just me and you?"

He handed me the phone,to hang up.
I said "OK,let me just put my PANTS on." and I heard someone scream over the phone.I hung up but not before Masimo looked at me "What was that?"
"Oh,fax machine." I put the phone back on the dresser and stood up "20 Minutes?"

He pulled to him and said "An hour." and snogged me.