Disclaimer: I own not a scrap of these lovely characters.

A/N: So exciting to see all the readers and people following this story! Makes me so happy! This chapter is a tad bit dirty. Fair warning.

Puck noticed the tickling on his skin before he noticed anything else. He observed that he was without a shirt, since the tickling thing was able to just randomly trace a pattern up and down his chest, swirling around his abs and his pecs. It felt so good that he didn't want to open his eyes to find out what was causing it. Slowly, it slid down his chest and beneath his jeans. Ah. It didn't just tickle. It grasped as well. He opened his eyes to a well lit room, lying on a bed draped with a see-through fabric all around. And a canopy. This was definitely not his room. But the thing was squeezing him again, and he could only pay attention to that.

"Mmmm…" he moaned, lost in the thrill of whatever was making him feel like this.

"Do you like that baby?" Came a soft voice beside him. He turned his head and found Rachel Berry lying next to him, clothed only in the see through fabric that covered the bed.

"Berry, what's…?" She put a finger over his lips.

"Shh… don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Just trust me." She started to kiss down from his neck towards her arm. Oh, her arm was sticking out of his jeans. That meant the thing grasping him was… Oh God. She continued down, kissing all along the line of his jeans, and then undoing the button and zipper with her teeth. She tugged them down and sucked and bit gently right on the hip bone. He moaned again. She moved ever so slowly to his member and licked all around the head before taking just the tip into her mouth.

"Berry… God, you… ugh…mmmm…" Puck wanted to pull her up, to kiss her and ask her what brought this on, but every time he reached down she pushed his hands away. She started a slow rhythm, taking him deeper each time, and it was all Puck could do to keep himself from blowing. He finally managed to grab her hair and pulled her head up to look at him.

"Ooh, baby, I like that." She said before moving back down to keep sucking him off.

When he managed to get his thoughts back together, he had decided that two could play that game. He slid down in the frilly bed (it must be hers, it looked so girly) until he was face to face with her. Then he grabbed her under her arms and tossed her gently up towards the pillows. There was that sexy, girly giggle she had again.

"What did I do?" She asked innocently. He rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter. You're going to get your fill for doing it." He rolled on top of her and positioned himself right at her opening. She mewled. He asked, "Do you want this?"

"The question is, do you?" She replied. He pulled back from her a little.

"What?"

"Are you that kind of a man, Noah? That sleeps with every girl who comes along and throws herself at him?"

"Duh." He retorts.

"Then fuck me, Noah. I'm right here, wet and waiting for you. All you have to do is thrust." Puck pulled back a little more.

"Berry this isn't like you. Cursing and being… well, sexy. What's going on?" She smirked.

"Isn't this what you wanted from me? It's yours to take. Just dive into me. I won't tell." Puck was confused.

"Do… do you not want me to? Cause it takes two people to do this."

"You do what you want. Isn't that what you always do?" He looked around the room, and finally decided to go for it. She'd said yes, or at least he thought she had. He entered her and almost blew inside her, she was so completely tight. He pumped a few more times and looked up to her face. She was reading a magazine.

"Berry, what the…?" She peeked up over the top of the magazine.

"Oh, are you in? Huh… I couldn't even tell." Puck stopped pumping, starting to get angry. This was ridiculous.

"You couldn't tell?" He began pumping again, harder this time, trying to get a response out of her.

"Oh, that's sweet. Look how hard you're trying. You're so cute when you try." Puck pulled out of her completely this time.

"Cut the shit, Berry. What are you trying to do to me?"

"Just lose my virginity." That shut him up. She looked him square in the eye before continuing.

"You know, I always kind of knew my first time would be special, with the gauze and the huge bed and all. And yet, here I am, surrounded just like I thought I'd be, and it's… it's nothing. I guess it just depends on who your partner is." Puck suddenly found his hands very interesting.

"But I'm glad it was you. You have so much more experience than anyone else I know. I guess I figured you would know more about what you were doing. If someone as knowledgeable as you is so bad, I can understand why girls fake orgasms. Sex sucks."

Puck's eyes popped wide open and he sat straight up in bed. His bed. No frills. No light. Thank God. He laid back down, trying to calm himself down from whatever-the-hell-that-was. A dream. Just a dream. He's a sex god. He's a sex god. He had some morning wood. How the hell did that dream turn him on? Oh yeah, it had been sexy in the beginning, when Berry was…

Rachel Berry was still in his bed.

Puck about fell off the bed, he was scrambling so hard to get out of it. She was there, the demon bitch that had insulted his prowess. Except she wasn't awake, and she wasn't draped in gauze. And she wasn't taunting him. She was just breathing evenly, her arms curled around a pillow, nude but for her white lace panties. Lil' Puck gave a quiver at that sight, but his brain was having none of it. He went downstairs, hoping no one would be home so he could have some space to think.

He opened the fridge, desperately searching for that pizza he had brought home last night from the parlor. Hey, two slices from a whole pizza he paid for are two slices he's going to keep. He found them buried in the back and quickly scarfed them down, chasing them with a soda. The food calmed him down, at least enough that he thought he could go back to bed. He quietly climbed the stairs, and stripped out of his clothes, tossing them on the floor to get washed. In only his boxers, he laid back down on the very edge of the bed, as far away from her as he could get himself and tried to relax back to sleep. He had almost passed back out when she rolled over and draped her arm and leg over him, her body pressed against his.

Oh no. No no no. Not tonight. He started to push her off so she would roll back over, when he felt her shaking. Then he heard the sniffles. She was crying, in his bed, curled up against him. This. Fucking. Blows. He held his hands awkwardly above her, before bringing one down to pat her on the back a few times. It didn't do anything. He was about to push her back over anyway, because he really could not deal with this, when he heard her start whispering. He leant his head down to get a better listen.

"Noah. Noah. I trust you. Please help me." His heart softened a little at her words.

"Help you what?" he whispered to her.

"Please, Noah, help me. I can't do this alone."

"Can't do what alone?" His tone betrayed the worry he felt having her beg for his help.

"They're going to hurt me, Noah. Please help me. We've got to go now."

"Who's going to hurt you?" Whatever was going on with her, he was going to be the one that fixed it. He decided that in an instant.

"Buttercups. That's the password isn't it? Oh, please hurry, they're coming Noah. Buttercups." This made no sense to him. Clearly she was just dreaming. A sigh of relief swept through him. Apparently this was the night for nightmares. He brought his arms down to rub her back.

"No one's going to hurt you. I'll help you." She mumbled a little then snuggled into his chest. He took a deep breath and settled in, and prayed for dreamless sleep.

"I love you Noah." Came a tiny whisper. For the second time that night his eyes popped open.

"Say that again." He said, not caring how loud his voice was.

"I love you, always and forever. Thank you, my hero." She whispered. Puck nearly died.

'She thinks I'm a hero? She loves… no. I heard wrong. She said… she said bug. She bugs me – isn't that the truth. Yeah, that's definitely what she said.' She sighed in her sleep, and somehow seemed to wiggle closer to him, which he hadn't thought was possible.

He waited and waited, thinking she was going to say more, but ended up just listening to her breathing, how it was so even and sweet. He watched how her chest moved, in and out, in and out, pushing against him and pulling away. He watched a strand of hair slowly and gently move down her naked back, as her breathing flowed in and out. He leaned his head down and nuzzled his face in her hair, smelling vanilla and something else he couldn't name. But it smelled wonderful. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and laid back into his pillow.

He eventually got to sleep, curled up with the tiny soprano, but there were no more dreams to be had.