Rules

AN: Yay, I updated on time for once!

Same as usual for the reviews, thank-you to ExtremeRainbowRaiderPrincess. And I give you a huge cuddle for the support! And just for you, here's the spider continuation.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lara, Larson, Kurtis...etc.

"What spiders?" Lara asked as she placed the shopping bags down on the ground. She hadn't looked at what they were standing in front of. But as soon as they moved to the side, she recognised it as the corridor that led to her grandfather's resting place. After the house had been re-built, she went under her manor a second time to search for an artefact that could control thralls like her mother. Once she had gotten out, it hadn't closed properly and Zip, Alistair, Kurtis and Lara found themselves fighting for their lives for months from the spiders that lay beneath the house. "the spiders that attacked us when you found that artefact." Zip answered.

"And, let me guess who opened the chamber." she looked at Larson who whistled innocently and looked away from everyone else.

"I thought I told you to stay away from this room?" Zip asked. He already knew the answer, he just wanted to make Larson fell even more guilty.

"Well, I'm sorry, but when something calls to you, it's rude to ignore it." he crossed his arms over his chest and the white feather from his hat fell onto his face.

"Walls can't speak Larson." Kurtis sighed. This guy was too stupid for his own good.

"This one did." he pulled out his mobile phone and pressed a series of buttons before finally pressing the 'play' button. Everyone listened in shock as they heard voices 'Larson, Larson. Don't listen to them. Touch the button, touch it.' And then it stopped.

"Who's to say he didn't record that himself?" Kiera said, stepping forward. "Kay, I don't really know who you are, so I'm not going to listen." Larson answered.

"Jackass." Kiera muttered under her breath.

"Larson, I don't know if I can keep you in my house any longer." Lara sighed.

"Please Lara I'll- SPIDERS!!!" More spiders started to come threw the hole in the underground passageway. Kurtis quickly shot at them. "Will someone please close that door! Good God." Lara screamed. Winston went over to the button and battered it violently with the butt of his pistol. He continued like that for several seconds before finally pressing it. Nothing happened. "It doesn't work, Ms Croft."

"Winston, of course it doesn't work! You just battered it to pieces." Lara screamed again. This was giving her a headache.

"Oh, brilliant. Because of this twat I have to live with spiders crawlin' outa my ass!" Zip shouted.

"Please, Lara. Let me stay. I'll try my best not to mess up!" Larson pleaded, now on his hands and knees.

Everyone in the room was now bickering. Zip complaining about having to replace everything in the Tech room, Kurtis shouting at Alistair, trying to teach him how to hold a gun, Winston talking to the button, that man gets stranger everyday Lara thought. And Freya and Kiera fighting over who gets the remote control for the TV.

"ALRIGHT!!!" she shouted. The room went silent. "Larson, you can stay. On one condition."

It had been four days since the spider incident. Freya and Kiera had left the house the night before, their mother finally being released from hospital. Zip had bought a new button to replace the old one that had been so kindly battered by Winston and had finally managed to fend off the spiders.

Larson sat in the living room with sheets of papers in his lap. The one condition Lara had mentioned was what he was staring at. The page was titled "Rules". Lets see what she wants me to do.

Rule 1

Don't touch any sharp objects. As if Larson would stab anyone. Well, it had happened before.

Rule 2

Do not touch any buttons/switches and levers in the house or in the grounds. Understandable.

Rule 3

Don't go anywhere near the Tech room.

Rule 4

Lara and Kurtis' bed is not a play pen. Do not leave your toys and costumes there.

Rule 5

Jumping off of the lights, banisters and balcony's is forbidden, unless you're Lara or Kurtis. That way, nobody will get flattened when you decide to cheat at hide and seek. OK, so that had happened one time. He accidentally jumped down and flattened Angel. It was an honest mistake. But nobody seemed to care. He HAD done them a favour.

He scanned down the page. If he read all this, it was going to take him forever. Maybe I'll just skip to the end he thought and looked at the end of the page.

Rule 213

Do not, under any circumstances buy Winston skittles.

213 rules! This woman was clearly crazy. But then again, compared to Larson, Lara was completely sane. Kurtis entered the room, just putting away his lighter and cigarette packet. "Finished the rules list yet?" he asked as he sat next to him.

"Yeah, just finished them."

"All 510 of them?"he raised an eyebrow at him.

"510!!! C'mon, I know I can be a handful, but she's gotta cut me some slack here."

"I'm with her. I'm absolutely certain you're gonna kill one of us one day." he got up and walked upstairs.

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen." he rolled his eyes. It was time to get started on the rules.

Hours past before Larson had finally finished the rules. Mainly because he was asleep. His head wad on the floor and his legs on the top of the settee. As Lara walked in, she sighed. He couldn't even do this right. But, she could have some fun at this. She quickly but silently went upstairs and into her bedroom where she found Kurtis asleep with a book on his head, on top of their bed. It was only 18:30. She didn't understand why everyone was so tired. She went into the en-suite bathroom and pulled some red lipstick out of the drawer along with some foundation, blusher and eyeshadow. She didn't even remember buying all this make-up. She hardly used any. She could always just give it to Larson for when he pretended to be a mermaid or princess or something.

She went back downstairs and was happy to see Zip and Alistair sitting on the settee across from Larson. At least she had a crowd to entertain.

They looked up at her as she kneeled down beside Larson. She pulled the foundation out and squeezed some onto her fingertips and then rubbed some on Larson's face. Zip, instantly knew what she was doing and chuckled while Alistair just turned away, watching TV. Next, she lightly brushed some blusher onto his cheeks and then brushed some eyeshadow onto his eyes. She pulled the lid off of the lipstick and smothered it over his lips. Next, she went to a box next to the stairs, which had various things in it. She pulled out a rubber spider and placed it on top of Larson's face. Now all she needed to do was wait for him to wake up.

Two hours later saw Lara asleep next to Larson on the couch. A sudden scream woke her up and her eyes opened to see Larson running frantically around the coffee table. Obviously, her plan had worked. "What is it?" she tried to keep a straight face.

"Spider!" he screamed and began to run around the whole space.

"What the hell is he screaming about now?" Kurtis asked from upstairs, but after he took his hand away from his eyes, laughed at Larson's face. His lips were covered in red lipstick, eyes in purple eyeshadow, his cheeks bright pink from blush and his face plastered in foundation. He looked like he should be in a circus.

"Spider!" Larson screamed again.

"It's rubber, Larson. That's what you get for not reading all the rules!" Lara laughed as Larson looked at her strangely.

"I did read all the rules!"

"Oh, really, what was rule number 10?"

"Erm. Don't eat your hair?"

"No. Although, if I did put that down, maybe Winston wouldn't be stuck cleaning up hairballs all day long."

"That was Angel." Larson lied.

"Satan!" Kurtis corrected him.

"That's it, I'm tired. It's twenty five to nine, and you have driven me to go to bed." she walked upstairs and entered the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

"What was number 10?" Kurtis asked Larson while leaning against the banister.

"Em...number 10 is... oh, don't wear my make-up. But I didn't do that." he looked up at Kurtis who laughed.

"Look in the mirror."

Larson went over to the mirror and screamed, "clown!!"

"Larson, it's you."

"Oh. Well. I'm quite attractive like this, aren't I?"

"Erm. No."

"How very dare you!" Larson walked out and slammed the kitchen door behind him. "I bet you five pounds I'm deaf by tomorrow morning." he said to Zip as he entered the hall.

"Ten."

"It's a deal."

XXXX

Larson skipped outside the next morning, still wearing the make-up Lara had put on. Today he decided to be a singer. And to go with it, a nice round of music. He started to rap and sing a song by Keri Hilson, Kanye West and Ne-yo.

"Keep rockin' and keep knockin'

whether you're Louboutin it up or Reebok'n

You see that hate that they servin' on a platter

So what we gonna have?

Dessert or disaster?"

He rapped. He started to swagger, trying to act cool. On some boys, it made them look cool, but on Larson, it was just plain creepy.

Winston came out carrying a tray of tea. He walked up to Larson and checked left and right to make sure no one was looking, "Mr Conway, I have a special surprise for myself." he lifted up a silver platter to reveal a packet of skittles. "Do you mind accidentally shoving them down my throat."

Larson hesitated. One of the rules said to never give Winston skittles. And if Larson wanted to stay in that house, he should follow them. "I don't know. Lara said not to."

"But Lara was even giving me some while she wrote those rules" Winston lied.

"Oh, well, if Lara did it, I suppose it will be OK." he opened the packet and fed them to Winston, then once he was away, continued to sing, this time the Keri Hilson part of the song:

"I never thought I'd be in love like this,

When I look at you, my mind goes on a trip,

Then you came in and knocked me on my face,

Feels like I'm in a race, but I already won first place"

Winston was happy with himself, he had got what he wanted, although, he should listen to everyone else when they said that skittles were going to be the death of him. Ah, who cares? So I'll die in one year instead of two , it's all the same to me. He thought.

Whenever Winston had eaten skittles, the effect was almost immediate. And as soon as he entered the house, Lara could tell he had eaten them. "Show me your tounge." she demanded.

He stuck it out and it was multicoloured from all the fruity sweets. "Did Larson give you these?"

He nodded. "He has no control" she had to admit. She would have thought he would have lasted longer than a day. When she went outside, he had finished 'Knock me down' and had now started in 'Baa baa black sheep'

"Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir three bags full."

"Larson!"

"Yes?"

"You know exactly what!"

"No I don't"

"Yes you do!"

"Wait, who are we talking about?"

"You gave Winston skittles!"

"He said, you gave him some!"

"I didn't and you shouldn't be so gullible!" she marched back into the house

XXXX

"Lara, I am so sorry." Larson said as he entered the living room.

"What, you haven't farted have you?" she covered her nose.

"No. It's just, I was kinda playing with my fairy castle and threw it out the window."

"It doesn't matter Larson, I should have never expected so high of you." she sighed, "anyway, do you want to come see the new tiles in the pool room?"

He nodded and followed her into the pool room where Kurtis was already sitting with Zip and Alistair. Larson walked behind the diving board and Lara pointed to the tiles in the pool. But Larson was focused on other things. In front of him was a button. And it was calling to him 'Larson, Larson. Push the button, push it'.

"Must push button." he was stuck in a trance. Lara, Kurtis, Zip and Alistair looked up at Larson as he reached his hand out to press the button.

"NOOOO!!!" they all screamed.

The thing was, Zip had changed the location of the new button that opened the wall to underneath the manor. He had put the button for the artefact room in the pool and the new button on the diving board. They were stuck with the spiders...again.

AN: Poor Larson, he cant do anything right. =(

I'll see you on Wednesday for the next update!

Nikita