Ways to annoy, scare or confuse Dale
Be Erica. Be unharmed
Tie him up and poke him with a stick. Repeatedly
If he complains about it, run screaming: "It's alive"
Ask him if he's related to the Ninja Turtles
Tell him Joshua said hello
Tell him Echo loves Paul. Wait. Wrong show
Get him drunk.
Get him married to a pineapple. An ugly pineapple
Tie him up and make him watch "Bambi"
Encourage his wife to give him pet names
Suggest Daley-Waley
Frame him for Fifth Column attacks
Offer him as dissection material in a high school biology class.
Cut off his tail
Ask him if it grows back
Ask him if Barney the Dinosaur is his long lost twin
Ask him if he wants to join the Erica Evans fanclub
Ask him if et wants to call home
If he says yes, steal his comms device
Tell him his face fell off
Offer to duck tape it back on
Tie him up and mail him to Hobbes with a note saying: "reptile skin sells very well on the black market"
Convince his wife to yell after him in public: "don't forget to change your underwear, dear"
Tell him Erica said he drives like a girl
Read his diary
… aloud
… or just send it to Erica
Make him sing Hollaback girl
Brush your hair in his kitchen/food
Add hairs to his coffe
Tell him his ability to sustain great injury and live would make him a great cartoon bad guy
Every time he starts one of his "kill Erica" rants, compare him with Willie the coyote
… or to Muerte from Undercover Blues
Convince Erica to call him and say beep-beep
… or to call him Morty
Send his wife a recording of what he told Joshua about her
… and a list of divorce lawyer prices
… and a machine gun with the note : "much, much cheaper, and it contributes to a good cause"
… and let her know the V's clean up the bodies of their own, so it's less messier too
Send him to anger management classes