JPOV

I wandered into my room, waiting for Alice to return from her shopping trip. I love my wife, but I really do tend to fear her when she's in the mall.

I suddenly noticed a note and a CD resting on my pillow. I picked up the note. "To our favorite empathic vampire. From Edward and Emmett."

Oh, boy. What were they up to this time? I heard chuckling downstairs and just rolled my eyes and shook my head.

How bad could it really be? I thought about that for a second and cringed.

I placed the CD in the stereo Edward gave me and Alice for Christmas and pressed the play button.

First, I heard an elaborate piano solo, then I heard the lyrics:

E is for emotional, ruins everybody's day. M is for miserable people. O is for on the other side 'cause we have some fresh cookies. Cookies, whoo!

I didn't know when to laugh or to kill them. But I figured, being the empathic vampire I am, I'd mess with their wives.

I casually strolled downstairs to the living room. Bingo.

This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, but they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends...

Edward knew something was up by now, but did nothing. OK, he goes first.

Bella was sitting next to him on the couch, rereading Wuthering Heights. Hasn't she memorized that book by now?

Bella heard my entrance and slammed the book onto the side table.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, please tell me you didn't actually give him that tape with the stupid emo song on it!" She was glaring at her surprised husband.

"Bella..."

"I knew it! I told you over and over not to do this, and what did you do? You went against me." She looked over at Rosalie who was sitting in a chair reading a magazine. "Men!"

"Emmett!" Rosalie dragged her husband into the room and whacked the back of his head. "You were in on this, too? I guess I shouldn't be so surprised."

"Jasper..." Emmett growled.

Rose thumped his head again. "Don't blame this on him!"

The anger continued to work its way around the room until Alice came home.

"Jasper!" she screeched. "What did I tell you about messing with peoples' emotions for revenge?"

Oops. Guess that plan backfired.

"Ya think?" Edward shouted at me.

We fought and yelled like this for hours. Never again, I thought. Never again.