A little sad…but hope in the end? Maybe. Enjoy.

XxX

Penname: Jburdick

Original or Derivative (fanfiction): Derivative

Rating/Warning(s)/Note(s): M

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

Prompt: Listen to the following clip and then write whatever comes to you first: With You

XxX

Five years ago if you had told me that I wouldn't be able to go even a moment without seeing his face in my mind…I would've laughed.

But that was before Paris, before I met Edward Cullen. The only man I have ever loved. Too bad I'm such a coward. We were together for three years, we traveled through Europe together, laughing and making love and just being together.

I envied his bravery, I still do. He had no qualms about holding me and whispering his love after taking me from behind, or in the shower. I never said the words back, and he never pushed me. I would appease him with a grunt or a quiet 'Me too'.

He was incredibly selfless and gave me, or anyone for that matter, anything they could ever want. Kind to the core. I didn't deserve him.

I think back on that rainy December morning every night in my dreams. Everyday while I'm working or walking. My sweet man, dropping down to his knees on the cold, wet concrete and bearing his soul to me, begging me to be his wife. To be his forever…or as close to forever as we could get.

I don't know that there is anyone to blame for my cold heart. But I wish there was. Because the sound of him crying, asking…demanding to know why I said 'No', woke me from my dreams every night. Sometimes I woke screaming, sometimes crying. But no matter which one it was, my heart always ached.

He never left the city, but I never saw him anymore. For two years I've been silently wishing to bump into him again. I also secretly wished that he would ask me that one question again, because knowing what I know now of longing, I would have said 'Yes'.

Today I found myself as I always did every morning. Sitting in the tiny café we had found while aimlessly wandering the streets. There was nothing particularly fantastic about the coffee or the pastries, but it was perfect and ours. I drank my usual cappuccino and watched the people go by. Lovers and children and friends….all things I did not have, yet longed for in my heart.

I felt a warm, strong hand rest on the juncture where my neck met my shoulder, squeezing gently. The feeling was familiar yet foreign. My breath halted as my heart took off. If it was him, my sweet man, why would he touch me? Why even come within ten feet of the shrew who left him cold and broken hearted?

I watched as his body that I knew so well came into view. He sat opposite me, no longer touching me. I felt frozen in time, just staring wide eyed into those emerald orbs. Mesmerizing. Always.

Waiting for him to speak, I took a deep breath, fiddling with the handle on my coffee. He looked better than I remembered. More muscular, shorter hair. Sad eyes. I did that.

"Bella." He said, too much emotion in his voice. "Oh, Bella."

"Edward?" I whispered, reaching my hand slowly across the table toward his. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? I come here everyday. I watch you…I know I shouldn't but…Bella what I feel-felt for you, you can't shake a love like that. Even though you left me, denied me. I could never truly be without you." He reached forward, grasping my hand.

I didn't know whether to be ecstatic or creeped out that he'd been watching me. But I'd been obsessing over him as well, so who was I too judge? "Why now? Why are you talking to me now?" I asked, relishing in the warmth and softness of his fingers.

A disappointment colored his features. "I guess I shouldn't expect you to remember." He laughed humorlessly and shook his head.

"Remember what?" I really had no idea.

"Bella, today would have been our fifth anniversary." He said softly, casting his eyes downward.

I felt like a total shit. Dates of anniversaries and birthdays were not my forte. And clearly this fact upset Edward. I still couldn't believe he was right here. After all this time.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"For what?" he sounded irritated now.

"Nothing. Everything. I don't know, Edward. I really don't know anymore." My voice cracked at the end and I shuddered, I hated crying in public.

He stood and slid his hand to mine, a piece of paper getting stuck between my fingers. He leaned forward until his mouth was right at my ear and whispered.

"I hope for our sake you figure it out." And then he was gone.