Warning: I wrote this chapter when I was bored, tired, and I didn't plan it, so I made it as I went along. Be prepared for the worst, as I said in the previous chapter. Also, I just realized that I forgot about Lady Amber and Warthorn...
They all sat in the lobby of the hotel.
"These chapter breaks are beginning to annoy me," Matthias grunted.
The hares were nowhere to be found. Before long, a few of the hotel staff members ran outside screaming. Matthias, Martin, and Mattimeo (too many 'M's!!!) all ran to investigate. Matthias pushed Mattimeo back, saying he was too young. After much whining, he sat down in a chair, sulking.
"Why not us?" Rose asked
"Because they're the warriors," Cornflower answered.
"But I died in a battle... that doesn't make me count as a warrior?"
"Nope," Cornflower turned back to tend to Baby Rollo.
Rose pouted. As they waited for the warriormice to come, Korvus was trying to explain to Skarlath what this 'story' is, but the krestel would not comprehend. Cluny was still passed out, but no one really payed attention.
Meanwhile, Matthias and Martin journeyed into the kitchen, where they heard a bunch of noise.
"Wait, I don't have a sword!" Matthias said.
"What is your sword anyway?" Martin asked.
"Yours," Matthias answered.
"YOU THEIF! YOU CROOK! I WORKED HARD TO EARN THIS SWORD AND YOU JUST STEAL IT FROM ME AND USE IT AS YOUR OWN!" Martin hollered.
"YOU helped me find it," Matthias backed away, "With my dreams."
"That wasn't me," Martin said.
"Um, yeah it was," Matthias was confused.
"No, see, I was taking a vacation, so the ghost you saw was my replacement," Martin explained.
"Huh?" Matthias shook his head.
"WHY is it that when I try to explain the career of being a ghost, everyone gets confused?"
"It's a career choice?" Matthias asked, "Does it pay well?"
"Shhhh! I hear something!" Martin stuck his head inside the kitchen, "Something that sounds like groaning."
"Let's go see," Matthias began to walk inside.
"Come back here, Mr. I', we need to take this one step at a time," Martin pulled him back.
"...what is Mr. I'msoawesome-"
"Forget it!" Martin sighed.
"I say we go see what the problem is," Matthias said.
"Do what I say, Mr. '."
"........what?"
"UGH!!!"
The two 'warriors' finally went inside the kitchen, where they saw a very ugly sight. Jodd was sitting infront of the refridgrator, stuffing himself silly. Basil was passed out on a table with a pie tin on his face, and the pie splattered about his body, which is where the groaning sound came from. Dotti cornered two of the chefs, a third one being held hostage, demanding they make her a special, customized cake. Breeze was cooking some horrible-smelling soup. What can I say? They're hares.
"Ugggghhhh!" Basil groaned.
"Wha-?" Jodd looked over his shoulder after devouring an apple whole.
"Dotti, let them go!" Martin rushed over to the haremaid.
' "Breeze, whatever that is, stop it before you kill someone!" Matthias ran over to her.
"I'm makin' stew," Breeze told him.
"Is stew meant to be red and chunky and smells like the rear end of an elephant?"
"Are you insulting my cooking?" She hurdled some 'stew' at him with her ladle. He ducked in the nick of time before the substance hit him. After Martin released the prisoners, he dragged Jodd away from the fridge and Matthias carried Basil out. Breeze and Dotti unwillingly followed them back to the lobby.
"There you are!" Cornflower said, "Um, are they okay?"
"Jodd's giving me multiple death threats for separating him from his food, and I think Basil just slipped into a food coma. Um... a bad kind of food coma," Martin answered.
"I wasn't asking you!" Cornflower glared, "I was talking to my husband."
Matthias sneered at Martin.
"Hey guys, where's the Doom Bunny?" Swartt asked.
"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!"
On a bell cart, he came rushing by, with Clogg pushing it. laughing madly as he jumped on behind him.
Boom! Crash!
"Let's ignore that," Tsarmina said. Everyone agreed.
Suddenly the author got bored. That is not good.
"Everyone, back to your rooms. Clogg goes in the room with Martin, Tsarmina, and Badrang. Skarlath goes with the birds, and Dotti goes with the hares," she said, ignoring the groans.
They all appeared in their rooms. In case you forgot who was in which room, here's a rundown:
Martin, Tsarmina, and Badrang all share a room.
Bluefen, Cornflower, Veil, Mattimeo, and Baby Rollo
Matthias, Chickenhound, Rose, Warthorn, and Swartt.
Ironbeak, Skarlath, Mangiz, Korvus Skurr, and the Doomwytes.
Sela, Nightshade, and the Doom Bunny.
Jodd, Basil, Dotti, Lady Amber, and Breeze.
Cluny sleeps outside, but tonight, since he's out cold, we'll put him in Sela and Nightshade's room. Lady Amber and Warthorn can join other creature's rooms. And Rose is moved to Matthias, Chickenhound, Warthorn, and Swartt's room.
They all sighed. But now, the chaos was about to begin.
"I don't wanna be in a room with ferrets," Mattimeo complained.
"I don't wanna be in a room with mice," Veil sneered.
Cornflower was putting Baby Rollo in bed when the two young creatures lunged at each other. She whirled around and was caught by a flying pillow that Mattimeo had hurled at Veil. She glared at her son, then picked up the pillow and ran toward him, poised to strike. Mattimeo squeaked and laughed as he ducked under the bed. Bluefen watched, glad her son wasn't so barbaric. Then Veil hit her with his pillow. She squeaked in alarm, and wretched the pillow from his paws. He made a sound that seemed like a cross between a dying cat, a terrified canary, and a sort of 'meep' sound as he dived for cover.
In the next room, Badrang and Clogg were arguing over something stupid. Martin said it was who could drink the most rum, but Tsarmina thought it was about who was hotter: Attila the Hun or Edward Cullen? Either way, it was a heated battle. Finally, they settled for Martin's idea, and brought out many bottles of rum and beer.
"Look away, this might get ugly," Tsarmina said.
They didn't watch as the two stoats began their... contest.
In the room across the hall, Cluny was beginning to wake up. Sela was about to knock him out again with a metal bat, but Nightshade held her back. The oversized rat looked around.
"Wow... I went to some land with colorful people and a yellow-green road, and I had to defeat the wicked witch of the southwest, and I teamed up with a giant doll, an iron man, and a tiger, in a land of Zo."
All of them stared at him.
"Um, it was a dream..." Sela said.
"Oh, but it wasn't a dream! It was a place! And you - and you - and you - and you were there. But you couldn't have been, could you?" He pointed at the vixens and the Doom Bunny.
Sela knocked him out again with her bat.
"Thank you," Nightshade said.
He snapped back awake. "I'm hungry," he said. He got to his paws and got on the phone.
"Yes, I would like to order room service. What would I like to order? Finally, someone cares about my opinion. Could you send up five dozen cookies, ten of those big lollipops, three cakes, five pies, a metal bat, seventy tootsiepops, a big tub of whipped cream, and a large bag of pure sugar, all to room A56."
"Sir, do you realize how much this will cost?" the person on the phone said. But Cluny had already hung up.
After they waited for awhile, there was a knock on the door. Sela answered it, but was pulled outside by an angry Constance.
"Was it YOU who ordered so much junk and made me work my tail off?!" She growled.
"It- it was Cluny!"
Constance threw her down and grabbed Cluny. He begged for mercy as he his feet were dangling in the air.
"ENJOY... YOUR... FOOD!" Constance growled and threw him onto the bed and left, slamming the door.
Nightshade crawled out from under the bed where she had taken refuge. "That badger has anger management issues!"
Constance charged in again and grabbed Nightshade by her neck. The badger then got a call on her phone to deliver 420 pillows to room A54. She released the vixen and went to make the delivery. Cluny had already gotten into his very sugary food, and after only five minutes was buzzing.
Meanwhile, Constance delivered the 420 pillows to the room where a pillowfight was going on.
"We needa team up," Mattimeo said, "Veil, it hurts me, but we must join forces!"
"Okay," Veil said, "We must make a fort somewhere!"
"Me and you, Cornflower!" Bluefen said, "C'mon, let's take this into the lobby!"
Before long, Veil and Mattimeo set up their pillow fort in the lobby. They both were armed with a pillow, and were on guard.
"I got an idea," Mattimeo said, "We get more recruits!"
"Okay... go ahead, I'll hold down the fort," Veil said.
"Why am I the one to go find some?" the mouse asked.
"More woodlanders would join a mouse then a ferret," Veil shrugged, "I'm not sure why."
Mattimeo grunted and went off, still clutching his pillow in case he needed it.
As that was happening, Badrang and Clogg were finished with their contest. Clogg won, paws down. But both of them had a lot of rum. Martin hid under the bed and Tsarmina was taking refuge in the closet as the two stoats became drunk. They started to... sing a duet...
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita Bella" Hearts will play
tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fagiole
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore"
"STOP RIGHT NOW!" Martin, Tsarmia, and the writer begged.
"Hehehe..." Badrang ran outside into the lobby.
Clogg inhaled more wine that he found and then followed.
Martin and Tsarmina shuddered. At that point Mattimeo poked his head in.
"Either of you want to join the greatest pillow war ever?"
Tsarmina and Martin shrugged and joined. Martin went on Bluefen and Rose's side, while Tsarmina wanted to be her own queen and made her own fort. They got really into their game, naming their 'kingdoms'. Bluefen, Martin, and Cornflower's kingdom was the Kingdom of Sweets, Mattimeo and Veil's was The Veiled Kingdom (Veil insisted), and Tsarmina named her's Kotir (original, eh?). Soon, everyone joined in the war. The Kingdom of Sweets had recruited Matthias, Rose, Sela, Swartt, Jodd, Dotti, Purz, Skarlath, Korvus Skurr, and Frang. The Veiled Kingdom got Chickenhound, Warthorn, Breeze, Basil, Ironbeak, Mangiz, the Doom Bunny, Murig, and Nightshade. The Kotir Kingdom, or Queendom, had the rest whom the writer is too lazy to name. But Tsarmina had not recruited a lot of them.
"This is stupid," the writer said to herself.
"We declare war of the Kingdom of Sweets!" Mattimeo, the duke of the Veiled Kingdom, declared to Cornflower, the president of her kingdom (is that possible? ...now it is!)
Cluny was nowhere to be found. Everyone was hyper, but no one was as hyper as Cluny. He literally bounced around his room, giggling and singing random songs. Then he burst through the door. He looked around and found an emergency axe behind glass. He used his oversized tail to smash through the window and took the axe out.
"!!!!" The writer was hiding behind her chair.
He ran around, chopping all the walls and everything in sight. Fortunately, he never found any of the other creatures in this story, because they were too busy fighting each other with pillows. But there was a mishap involving an old, short, hairy guy, but that's a different story.
Meanwhile, Veil was leading a his group to attack the enemy kingdom. They were all armed with feather pillows. Unfortunately, Cornflower saw them and led an ambush.
"YAAAAAH!!!!"
Feathers were flying, and some creatures were knocked senseless. Tsarmina's group found them and charged. Before long, feathers lay everywhere and many of them were either knocked out or fell asleep. Constance the maid walked in, saw the carnage, and left without a word. She woke up screaming the next morning...
Anyway, Cluny was still on a rampage. He got out shredded cheese and scattered it everywhere, singing strange songs. Then he broke out into a dance, which involved the cancan, the worm, and flailing limbs randomly.
"Me gusta ost og als het een laamojen!!!" He screamed. (If you could understand that, you deserve 100 dollars)
"We will we will rock you!
Here's a llama
There's a llama
And another little
I'm freeeeeee, freeeeeeeee faaaallin'
I believe I can fly!
I believe I can touch the sky!"
At this point, he was jumping over bookcases and couches and chairs and anything else that got in his way. He began twitching. The sugar craze was beginning to subside. He took a big bottle of coke and glugged it down. He began to buzz again.
Then he heard a noise. He took his axe and raced towards it. It was coming from the bathroom. He decided it would be a cooler entrance if he kicked the door down, but that resulted in his paw aching and being forced to actually turn the doorknob. He shrieked and began to wave his axe around.
Meanwhile (I say that too much), the creatures were beginning to stir. Martin, Rose, Cornflower, and Matthias (I suppose they're the main characters all of the sudden...) woke up to the sound of screaming and maniacal laughter. They decided either something bad was happening, or that Cluny was watching a My Little Pony movie. Either way, they had to do something. The four mice rushed off. Lady Amber saw them and went after them, to make sure they didn't get hurt. She decided squirrels were superior to mice. Warthorn saw her leave, and decided that otters were superior to squirrels who are superior to mice.
They all met up at the door to the bathroom. There were hoots of laughter coming from inside. They opened the door and saw Cluny swinging his axe at one of the dark figures. But it was still shapeless and shadowy in the light (how'd that happen? ooooh). The thing screamed and lid out the window, Cluny in pursuit.
"Get back here!" Amber called out.
Back in the lobby, Dotti and Breeze were awake. They glared at each other, feelings of loathing pounding through their veins. They started to sing (and remember that Dotti is a horrible singer).
I do not own the following song from Wicked ;)
Dotti: WHAT IS THIS FEELING
SO SUDDEN AND NEW?
Breeze: I FELT THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU ...
Dotti: MY PULSE IS RUSHING ..
Breeze: MY HEAD IS REELING ...
Dotti: MY FACE IS FLUSHING ...
Both together: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
FERVID AS A FLAME ,
DOES IT HAVE A NAME?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
LOATHING
UNADULTERATED LOATHING ...
Dotti: FOR YOUR FACE...
Breeze: YOUR VOICE ...
Dotti: YOUR CLOTHING ...
Breeze: But we're animals...
Dotti: No one cares!
Both together: LET'S JUST SAY -- I LOATHE IT ALL!
EV'RY LITTLE TRAIT, HOWEVER SMALL
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL
WITH SIMPLE UTTER LOATHING
THERE'S A STRANGE EXHILARATION IN
SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION
IT'S SO PURE! SO STRONG!
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST
AND I WILL BE LOATHING
LOATHING YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!
They finished their song, and then lunged at each other. Some of the other creatures woke up when they were singing and started to cheer on the catfight. Then Jodd and Breeze began to bet on the winner. The birds, except Skarlath, who was staring at the haremaids, were outside on the roof.
"General Ironbeak, you have insulted my kingdom of Doomwytes for too long now. You pose a threat to our society," Korvus cawed, "We are very happy to declare war on your army."
"What army?" Ironbeak asked. The only bird standing beside him was Mangiz.
"That counts," Korvus said, who had six birds and a snake backing him.
"I challenge you to a duel," Ironbeak said, "To make this fight more fair."
"Bring it on!" Korvus said, though he was a smaller raven then Ironbeak. He had confidence in his own ability... he hoped.
Meanwhile, the mice and squirrel and otter watched Cluny chase the dark figure around the street, flailing his axe. Finally he knocked it down, but before he could slash it, Matthias came and tackled him. He wanted the thing alive. They tied it up and took it back to the hotel.
"Finally, we can see what we're up against," Martin said.
"Yes, and ask where Gonff and Redtooth are," Matthias added.
They untied the thing. It was just a shape, maybe it was covered in a black cloth? They decided to take what looked like a cloth off. Before they could, Cluny rushed in, his axe over his head. The thing shrieked and fled, diving out the window.
"We were so close!!!" Matthias screamed in frustration.
"AHHH!!!!"
They heard a scream. Cornflower rushed in.
"Baby Rollo is missing, and the window is open!"
There was another scream. Warthorn came rushing in.
"Lady Amber disappeared! She was right next to me, then I heard her scream and she was gone"
There was yet another scream. Basil ran in.
"We're all out of pudding!"
"Two more are missing?" Martin was not in the mood, "I really wish we could just get out of here."
"You will, as soon as you discover the secrets," the writer reassured him, "And after three of you die."
"Two, only two now," Chickenhound sobbed, "Remember Slagar?" He started sobbing.
"This was a really stupid chapter," Breeze said, "I mean, I had to sing."
"I'm a much better singer than you!" Dotti boasted. Everybeast stared at her.
Why, yes it was stupid. Hehe, I warned you. Where is Rollo and Lady Amber? What will become of Korvus and Ironbeak? Who will win in the end? Where are Gonff and Redtooth? Will they find what the heck the annoying shadow things are? Will Breeze and Dotti get along? Will Basil find the pudding? Will they ever get out of Disneyland? Will readers threaten me until I finally reveal what the shadow things are? Is Slagar really gone? How long will this stupid story go on? Will I stop asking questions?