Remember those hyper middle school band students from that other chapter? Well, the fangirls/boy are in the band, which is going to play a concert. And by the way, let's say that the animals are human sized but the adders are the same size they would be to the animals. So the fangirls also see them as huge giants. How is this possible? ...because I'm special that way.

Also, this chapter should be titled "That Annoying Chapter Where Some Guy is About to Explain Everything but Something Interrupts Him and He Never Gets Back to that Subject in this Chapter Because the Writer is Trying to Drag this on as Long as She Feels Like it and Especially Because there is some New Romance Sparking Up". It was a bit too long...

The group of animals were cornered. They didn't know whether to fight back to the adders or to the fangirls. Both were very dangerous and scary. Elisha then turned toward Harssacss, who was the closest adder to her.

"EWWWW!! I HATE SNAKES!!!" She cried, then whacked him on the head with her purse.

Harssacss recoiled while his two siblings turned toward the strange fangirl. Asmodeus and Baliss paid no attention.

"EW!" She cried out once again, "SNAKES ARE SO GROSS!!!!!!"

Before anything happened, Lauren's watch alarm went off.

"Oh!" She said, "It's time for our band concert!"

They left calmly. The rest of the animals dashed through the open spot, getting around the adders.

"If there is ONE more adder, I think I might scream!" Dotti said as they took shelter in a giftshop.

"Don't worry," the writer said, "I can't think of any more adders anyway. When I think of one, I'll let you know."

"Okay, so now what?" Gonff asked.

"Where were you this whole time?!" Cornflower asked him.

"Oh, just here and there," he answered.

"WHERE?!" Cornflower was impatient when she was hiding from giant, poisonous adders.

"Oh. Uh, I dunno," Gonff answered.

"Descriptive," Mathias grunted, "Like Gonff said, what now?"

All of them looked toward the writer. She shrugged.

"Well... we might as well go find Lady Amber," Warthorn said.

"Where are the birds?" Martin asked, looking around.

"Oh, they were cowards and flew away," Rose answered.

"Lovely."

"Hey, Swartt," Bluefen said, turning toward her husband, "I want ice cream. I saw an ice cream stand on the way here."

"We can get ice cream later," Swartt answered.

"I want ice cream," She glared at him.

"Me too," Veil added.

"You can go get it then!" Swartt replied.

"You get it," Bluefen said.

"Why should I?"

"Because, otherwise, this will be just another story to take to the marriage counselor. He told you that the next time we see him, he'll charge us double because he's tired of seeing us," Bluefen said.

"Fine, whatever," Swartt started walking toward the exit.

"I want vanilla!" Bluefen called after him.

"Make mine chocolate with chocolate sprinkles and chocolate chips and chocolate sauce on a chocolate covered cone!" Veil requested.

After Swartt left, Bluefen turned to Veil and said in a motherly voice, "You know too much chocolate makes you have a tummyache. Remember when I stayed up all night with you because you thought you ate poison? I told you it was just too much chocolate."

"MOM!" Veil groaned, "Please!"

"If Swartt was my father, I'd be paranoid about poison too," Mattimeo said. He and Veil were getting along a little better after the Matterhorn incident.

"For the record, it was poison," Veil said, "I had to treat it myself, thanks a lot."

"Wait..." Bryony said, "I don't remember this. And how did Bluefen stay up with you all night if she was dead...?"

All of them turned toward the writer, expecting an answer. The writer was sleeping. Basil threw a rock at her to wake her up.

"Huh?!?! Oh, uh, hi," the writer rubbed her head where the rock hit her, "Um... where's Swartt?"

"He went to go get ice cream," Tsarmina answered.

"He isn't smart enough to realize that when you go off alone, you are 90% likely to die?" The writer said, "That's the first rule of horror movies/books."

"This isn't a horror story... at least, it's not meant to be," Dotti said.

"Whatever. Okay, guys, we're moving on," the writer said.

They found themselves in California Adventure, near a stage. They heard some awesome music coming from it. They shrugged and followed the sound. A large band of middle schoolers were playing. They sat down, listening.

Suddenly, a girl playing clarinet jumped out of her seat. It was Elisha Thinzone.

"LOOK! IT'S THEM!!!" She screamed.

Suddenly Lauren, Hector, Lilly, and Rick jumped up too.

"Wait... is that an OTTER?!?!" Rick asked, "I didn't see her before!!!!"

He ran up to Zaran and hugged her, dropping the flute he was playing. Warthorn glared at him.

"I'm an otter too," Warthorn said, not wanting to miss out.

Rick stared at him. The rest of the animals sprinted away, with the fangirls/fanboys chasing them. The rest of the band members thought they were insane (not thought... knew).

Swartt was thinking as he went to get the ice cream. These are his thoughts:

That Bluefen is so annoying. I don't see an ice cream stand anywhere, she must be crazy. Wait, there it is!

No... that's for cotton candy. Ew, I hate that stuff. It's pure sugar. Sugar makes people hyper. I think food companies are trying to make everybody hyper, which will make the world implode. When that happens, all the survivors will live underground, feeding off natural energy found in the earth.

Ohh, look, a birdie!

Um, what was I doing again? Oh yeah, ice cream.

Y'know, I could be doing something good with my time. But noooo I have to find ice cream for my wife and kid.

What happened to sitting around a fire telling stories? Or playing board games. We should have a family game night.

But I'm sure Veil cheats at Monopoly. I played it once with some of my horde members. Yeah, Nightshade, Scraw, Wildag, Aggal... they cheated. I swear, Nightshade had some sort of black market with those stupid properties. And Scraw and Aggal had some sort of deal with hotels and money. And I know I saw Wildag steal five hundred dollars from the bank.

Huh? What was that sound? Oh, probably nothing.

I wonder what a shoe tastes like? Wow, that was random. Maybe I'm going crazy.

There! That hissing sound again! Hey, aren't there, like, five adders on the loose?

...Oh boy.

Swartt looked over his shoulder. He saw something moving in the shadows. There was a hissing sound.

"Stay back... I'm warning you!" Swartt said nervously, "I, uh, I'm armed."

"With what?" A voice asked.

"Um.... MY NINJA SKILLS!!!!" Swartt made a kung-fu pose.

"Right..." Asmodeus slithered of the shadows.

"You're kidding me," Swartt grumbled, "Um, listen, I'm just looking for an ice cream stand, so I'll be on my way."

"Ssstay there. I decided to tell you what the heck isss going on," Asmodeus said.

Because the writer is mean, let's go back to the rest of the group.

"KITTY!!!!" Hector squealed, brushing his hand againt Tsarmina's fur.

"Why am I the only cat here?!" Tsarmina asked the writer.

"I dunno... because... yeah," The writer mumbled.

"Descriptive."

"Hey cutie," Elisha leaned toward Matthias, "I hear you're good with a sword."

Matthias backed up.

"Yeah, with my sword," Martin grumbled.

Elisha ran up to Martin.

"You look so hot when you're mad at Matthias."

Rose turned and glared at Elisha.

"What?" Elisha asked.

"Stop flirting with him!" Rose growled.

"You're not married, ya know. And Cornflower didn't have a problem with me and Matthias," Elisha said.

"You and Matthias?" Cornflower said, walking up, "What? I was getting a bottle of soda for Rollo... I couldn't find any milk."

"Nothing, dear," Matthias said. Elisha was already gone, flirting with the other males.

"Where are the birds?" Cornflower asked, looking around.

"Oh, they escaped... again," Rose answered her.

On the roof of a giftshop, the birds were watching in facsination as Ironbeak flirted with a pigeon.

"So... they call me General Ironbeak. General. Can't get much better than that," Ironbeak said, edging closer to the pigeon, "What's your name?"

"Coo?" The pigeon cooed.

"Coo? I like that name. So, do you like... bacon?"

"Coo."

"Interesting, interesting. So, have you-"

"IRONBEAK!" Korvus shouted, "That is a pigeon!"

"Is there anything wrong with that?!" Ironbeak growled.

"Pigeons aren't exactly... civilized, intelligent, productive, useful, emotional, or sane."

"Coo?" The pigeon cocked her head.

"Coo and I are leaving," Ironbeak grunted.

"Don't..." Mangiz advised, "If you go off by yourself, you will probably die."

"Speaking of which, is that Swartt back yet?" Purz asked.

"What did I just say?" Mangiz grunted.

"Yeah, he's a gonner," Vugri cawed.

"How are the rest of them faring?" Murig asked, looking down at the crowd.

"Coo?" The pigeon started fly away.

"No! Come back Coo!" Ironbeak flew after her.

"He'll probably die. Whatever," Mangiz shrugged.

"You sound loyal," Frang muttered.

"If he dies, I become the general," Mangiz said, "I don't really want to be, but if I have to, then... wait... I can lead the army to take over..."

"Take over... what?" Tarul asked.

"Canada."

"Why Canada?"

"Because Canada has maple syrup."

"...and?"

"I happen to like maple syrup."

"So you're gonna take over a country to get maple syrup?"

"To get maple syrup for free. That's how people will pay their taxes."

"To a bird?"

"Yes."

"Why would-"

"Just don't question it," Murig interrupted Tarul.

"So, you're saying that when you divide the sum of x, y, and z, then subtract the total precent of the cost, times that by the ratio, to the power of a-b+c/d, you get the same answer as when you divide 56.02402004293.141004 by the ratio of it's square root and {52 - -22.42942 + x – 3.9300(r+62-c/t)3+f/rt}2," Swartt concluded.

"I have no idea what you jussst sssaid," Asmodeus hissed, "I wasss talking about what the ssshadow things are doing."

"Oh. Um, carry on," Swartt said.

Elisha had been flirting with every male animal in sight.

"Hey, cutie, I hear you're good with a sword," Elisha said to Clogg. Before Clogg could open his mouth to reply, she moved on to Badrang.

"You're hot," she told him.

"Uh, thanks?" Badrang backed away.

She span around to see Sunflash.

"You're so muscular. You're hotter then Edward Cullen. And that's a compliment!"

Disclaimer: I do not think, nor have ever thought, Edward Cullen could possibly be hotter than Sunflash. I'm more of a badger person than a vampire person.

"Let's see you use that famous mace of yours," Elisha continued.

Nightshade suddenly got an unexplained chill.

"Uh, sure?" Sunflash was about to do so, when Elisha ran up to Veil.

This cycle continued for some time, until she came to Chickenhound and Slagar.

"Hey!!!" She said, hugging Chickenhound. Chickenhound put his mask on.

"What about me?" Slagar asked.

"Ew. You're not my type," Elisha said.

"They're the same guy," Rick told her.

"Slagar is not Chickenhound, idiot," Elisha snapped, "Slagar is voiced by Tim Curry in the TV show. Chickenhound, on the other hand, is voiced by... uh... someone named Jonathan Wilson (Thank you, Internet)."

"Wow..." Rick sighed, "I don't know why I hang out with you."

"I like furry kitties," Hector said, hugging Tsarmina.

"Or you..." Rick continued.

Lauren stopped hugging Rose and glared at Badrang. She then tackled him to the ground.

"Or her..." Rick continued.

Lily was rocking back and forth, because her precious birds flew away.

"WHERE ARE YOU, IRONBEAK? KORVUS SKURR? MANGIZ?" She wailed.

"Or her..." Rick continued still.

Lauren stood on top of Badrang, pushing his face into a mud puddle.

"SAY YOU'RE SORRY TO ROSE!!!" She screamed.

"MMMPPHHHH!!!" Badrang couldn't say anything, considering his face was being pushed into a mud puddle.

Tsarmina laughed at the stoat. She then glanced at Hector, who was grinning like a maniac.

"Chickenhound..." Elisha said, getting on one knee, "Will you marry me?"

She held out plastic ring that you would find as a booby prize for a carnival game.

"Uhhhhhh..." Chickenhound wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Well?" Nightshade went up to him, "Say yes."

"We never went on a date," Chickenhound said, "And aren't we both to young to get married?"

"No, we just drive to Vegas and go through the drive-thru chapel, and be on our way," Elisha answered.

"Ummmm..." Chickenhound still didn't know how to answer, "Sure?"

"WONDERFUL!!!" Elisha grabbed his arm and started skipping everywhere.

Sela came walking up with a bunch of cotton candy in her arms.

"What did I miss?" She asked.

Elisha bounded up to her.

"So you're my new mother-in-law? Well... one can't choose their relatives," she said.

"Nightshade... what is she talking about?" Sela asked.

"Oh, your son just got engaged," Nightshade answered.

Sela dropped her cotton candy in surprise.

"I know, it's sad to see your young ones grow up, but you must let them go," Cornflower said, "I had experience with Matti when he married Tess."

"No, it's not that," Sela said, "I'm shocked that a girl is mildly attracted to him."

Before Asmodeus could actually explain what he was trying to, Zassaliss and his siblings slithered up to them.

"What are you doing?" Harssacss hissed.

"Nothing you are interesssted in," Asmodeus replied, "You were jussst introduced in the lassst chapter."

"Why isss that ferret with you?" Sesstra asked.

"I have my reasssonsss, go away," Asmodeus answered.

"The Massster sssaid to bring him any of the Redwall characters," Zassaliss hissed, "And he isss one."

"Yeah, I didn't think he wasss worth the trouble though," Asmodeus answered.

While the snakes were arguing, Swartt managed to crawl away. Once he was far enough, he sprinted back to the group. He crashed into two people, both middle schoolers. There was a boy and a girl, and they were holding hands.

"Look, a huge ferret," the girl pointed.
"That can't be natural," the boy commented.

"I'M NOT RADIOACTIVE!" Swartt growled, insulted.

"How do you know for sure?" the girl asked, "Jack, go poke it with a stick."

"Um... why is it talking?" Jack asked.

"ASK NO QUESTIONS! POKE IT WITH A STICK!" the girl shouted.

"Okay, okay, whatever you say, Tanya," Jack obediently grabbed a stick.

Swartt decided to run away, because these might be fans. They chased after him. Swartt managed to get to the group.

"Let's get some food," Mangiz said, "I'm hungry."

"What about Ironbeak?" Purz asked.

"I am hungry," Mangiz repeated, "We need to take priorities here."

"What about Lady Amber? This plot isn't going anywhere. This is a waste of a chapter!" Warthorn said.

"DOOOOOOOMMMM!!!" The doom bunny shrieked.

"Yeah, yeah, doom, right," Stryk grunted.

"It's not a waste," the author retorted, a bit insulted.

"I'M HUNGRY!" Mangiz cawed.

Suddenly, the fangirls/fanboys became hyper again.

"I'm outta here," Purz said, flying away. The rest of the birds followed his idea.

"DON'T LEAVE ME!" Lilly screamed to the birds.

"Now I'm getting tired of this whole thing," Cornflower said.

"DIE!!!!!!!!" Lauren suddenly screamed and tackled Badrang again.

"STOP TRYING TO KILL HIM!" Matthias said, "I don't feel like organizing another funeral."

"Another?" Rick asked.

"Well, there was Methusulah, and Mortimer, and now there's Redtooth. Speaking of which, where did we put his body?"

"Oh," Cluny said, "I gave it to Asmodeus."

"Why?" Bryony asked.

"Well, in the book Asmodeus ate his body, and my theory is that if we recreate the book's scenes, maybe somehow we will magically go back into the book, where we should be," Cluny said.

"When'd you get so smart?" Bryony asked.

"Tomato tomàto," Cluny concluded.

"What?"

"POTATO POTĂTO!" Cluny shrieked.

"OKAY OKAY!" Bryony backed away, realizing Cluny was having another one of his moments.

Rick suddenly turned toward Dotti. "Is that.... a bunny?"

"A hare," Dotti corrected.

"...I like bunnies," Rick said, "I like fluffy bunnies a lot."

"Oh no... the only sane one too..." Breeze grumbled.

Rick suddenly grabbed Breeze and hugged her, while Basil and Dotti fled.

"Chickenhound... I'm hungry..." Elisha turned to her fiancee.

"I'm Slagar," Slagar corrected.

Elisha pulled off the mask and threw it in a trashcan.

"Chickenhound, I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat," Elisha said.

"I like the way she thinks," Mangiz said, "If you're gonna get some food, I'm coming with you."

"Okay!" Elisha said, "It can be a double date."

"Date?" Mangiz asked, "...I, uh... the only other female bird here is Stryk and that isn't going to happen."

"Okay, there's always the ravens," Elisha replied.

"They're all males," Magiz said, horrified.

"Fine. Whatever, just come with us," Elisha said, "Chickenhound, go find a restaurant."

"There's one here," Chickenhound pointed to the restaurant they had been standing in front of the whole time.

"LET'S GO!!!!" Elisha screamed, pulling Chickenhound behind her as she ran inside.

After they got their food, Elisha decided to become romantic. "Honey," she said, "I know we are planning our life together, so I've been thinking. I want a mansion on the beach, you are going to be a cardiologist, and we will have ten children, five boys and five girls. But two of the girls are going to be twins. And they're the oldest. Oh, and I don't want all of my boys to be nerds, just one smart one. One is going to be the hot boy on campus, and-"

"I can't make sure that's what happens," Chickenhound said.

Elisha gave him an evil glare that sent a chill through his spine.

"Okay, okay, dear, whatever you say," Chickenhound meekly said.

Mangiz stared at the piece of chicken on Elisha's plate.

"What is that?" He asked.

Elisha bit into it and said, "A chicken leg."

Mangiz looked like he was disgusted and said, "I have a cousin who's a chicken!"

"Really? Well, this might be her," Elisha said, then bit into it again.

Mangiz looked faint, but kept eating his spaghetti (it reminded him of his favorite food: worms).

"Swartt... where is my ice cream?" Bluefen asked.

"I was almost eaten by an adder and barely got out alive," Swartt said.

"That's no excuse!" Bluefen scolded, "You're just lucky I never divorced you."

"I outlived you, ya know," Swartt said.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MENTIONING THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Bluefen shouted.

"I also outlived my own son," Swartt said.

"By, like, five seconds!" Veil argued.

Bryony glared at Swartt. "You killed my adoptive son, you realize this right?"

"He's my biological son!" Bluefen glared at Bryony.

"Ladies, ladies, please don't fight over me," Veil seperated them.

"Ladies? I'm your mother!" Bryony and Bluefen said at the same time. They glared at each other and lunged at each other's throats. Before they could, however, Mattimeo walked up to them, holding a ShamWow.

"Look at my new ShamWow!" Mattimeo said, "It holds twelve times its weight in liquid!"

"That's just a rag, you know," Veil said.

"IT'S A SHAMWOW!!!!!!" Mattimeo yelled.

"That was anticlimactic to the fight," the auther grumbled, "Also, don't call it a ShamWow, cause, you know, legal reasons. How about a ShamWooHoo?"

"I saw that in a youtube video," Mattimeo said.

"ShamPow then, I don't care," the author said, "Let's get back to the fangirls and boys.

"COME BACK HERE BUNNY!!!!!" Rick screamed, chasing the three hares around.

"What's gotten into him?" Jack asked.

"OH EM GEE IS THAT A MOUSE?!?!?!?! EWWWW!" Tanya shrieked, pointing at Matthias and Cornflower.

"Yeah... there's a lot of mice in Redwall," Martin said

"EWWWWW!!!! THERE'S TOO MANY!" Tanya grabbed a random broom and started whacking them.

"What about me, a rat?" Cluny asked, not wanting to miss out on the attention.

"Nah, rats are okay, but I hate mice!!!!" Tanya replied.

"Ow! Stop it!" Matthias grabbed his sword and sliced the broom in two.

"That's my sword, and I'll be taking it back now," Martin grabbed the sword.

"Guys, I just had a vision!!!" Nightshade announced. Everybeast gathered around her. "We have to go into some sort of haunted elevator to find an answer," she declared.

"Haunted elevator? We know where that is!!!" Lilly said.

"Follow us!" Lauren said.

The creatures decided to follow them. At least they were good for something.

"Chickenhound, I called the adoption agency," Tanya said, "Here's out new baby."

She held out a lemon.

"That's a lemon..." Chickenhound said.

"Don't be racist! They rescued him and his siblings from an abusive lemon tree. He's just a baby. What should we call him?" Elisha said as she cradled the lemon like a baby.

"Lemonade," Chickenhound replied.

"How about Tucker Wan Kenobi Bob Thinzone?" Elisha asked.

"Should you take on the husband's last name?" Mangiz asked.

"What is your last name? Elisha asked Chickenhound.

"I, uh, don't like to say it..." Chickenhound said.

"Tell me... NOW!" Elisha yelled.

"Okay, fine. Hello my name is Chickenhound Bluegrass Freeman Oldham Austin Fabio Bobson."

Mangiz was speechless. But Elisha said, "I LOVE THAT LAST NAME!!!"

"R-really?" Chickenhound was surprised.

"YES! It's better than Thinzone," Elisha said.

"HOW?!" Mangiz asked.

"The Hollywood Tower?" Tsarmina asked, "It looks pretty old."

They stood in front of said tower, where the fans had led them to.

"Let's go inside," Cornflower said. They followed her lead. The fanboys/girls didn't, though.

"Aren't you coming?" Zaran asked, who did not have a creepy fan following her.

"We, uh, don't like this ride," Hector said.

The creatures looked at one another and shrugged. They continued inside. Inside, they stood in a large elevator. They waited as they slowly lifted up. They managed to reach the top, where they could look outside.

"We're so high up!" Rose said, "Where's the clue?"

"Look out over those bushes!" Martin pointed, "I see the adders!"

"Yeah, and the shadow thing leader!" Gonff said. They saw clearly as the shadow thing was about to take off the veiled mask when suddenly the floor dropped from beneath them. The elevator went crashing down, freefalling. They all screamed at the top of their lungs, except for baby Rollo, who enjoyed it. Tsarmina panicked and clutched the nearest beast near her, which happened to be Badrang. She sank her claws deep into his arm.

Instead of stopping at the normal exit, the elevator kept falling. It fell deep into the ground, and kept on falling. Suddenly, it jolted to a sickening halt. Dazed and in shock, they stumbled outside. They were in the Shadow Thing's lair.

Ironbeak flew after Coo, chasing the pigeon whom he declared love for.

"Come on Coo, we can work his out!" He cawed.

"Coo!" the pigeon screeched. Suddenly, an arrow pierced the air, heading straight for them. It was heading toward Coo, but Ironbeak flew in front of her and took the hit in his wing. He fell towards the ground, unable to keep flying. A shadow thing seemed to be very smug as the raven plunged toward its head. Ironbeak extended his talons and caught the shadow thing's head with his claws. This pulled the mask off.

The shadow thing was a Native American woman. Next to her was another shadow thing who pulled off its mask. It was a man in armor.

"Um... hello..." Ironbeak said, "Uh... sorry to drop in on you like this."

The woman nodded her head and a lion walked up to them.

"Oh boy..." Ironbeak flapped his wings to fly away, but wasn't able to.

Chickenhound and Elisha are engaged to be married :O! But they already adopted a kid... that's a little wrong...