The last few chapters haven't been... random enough. I mean... I've actually been paying attention to the PLOT! THAT'S NOT NATURAL! So random things will happen... but even more in the next chapter. DUN DUN DUN!!!

"This tunnel is so long!" Duchess complained.

"You're the one leading us down it," Tsarmina grunted.

"Are you sure this is the right one?" Warthorn asked.

"I, uh, think so," Duchess mewed. They came to a large door.

"I am going to assume this is it, but i might be wrong," Badrang said.

Duchess tried to open the door. "Locked," she hissed.

"I have an idea," Tsarmina said, "It involves Badrang."

"Um, how exactly does it involve me?" Badrang asked.

Tsarmina smiled evilly.

"This is like a rescue mission," Veil said.

"Uh, yeah, I guess rescuing a stoat, an otter, and a wildcat from a snooty aristocat that probably is declawed could count as a rescue mission," Mattimeo said.

Without warning, the Mission Impossible song began to play from nowhere.

"THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!" Veil yelled.

BAM!

"What was that?" Sela asked.

"It sounded like something crashing against a door or a wall or something," Nightshade answered, "And it came from up ahead!"

Rose pouted when she said 'crashing against a door or a wall'.

"WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?!?!" Badrang shouted.

"What? Slamming your head against a door isn't necessary?" Tsarmina asked.

"Does ANYONE ELSE find this VERY VERY IRONIC?" The author asked.

"Hey, at least I didn't say you needed to use your head," Warthorn said.

"I had to resist," the author said.

"Owwww," Badrang was still lying on the ground.

"Well, that didn't work," Duchess mewed.

"It wasn't supposed to," Tsarmina grinned, "I just really wanted to do that."

"Oh no..."

The majority group reached a fork in the tunnels.

"I think we go left!" Pocahontas said.

"No you idiot, we go right," General Shang argued.

"DON'T EVEN START!" Simba growled.

"Maybe half of us should go one way, the other go the other way," Cornflower said.

They were silent for a moment, then Swartt said, "NO! THAT'S TOO LOGICAL!"

"Hey, this is probably a bad time," the author said, "But I'm planning somebeast's death in this chapter."

They were silent for a moment (again), then everybeast screamed.

"Did anyone else hear screaming?" Warthorn asked.

"I dunno," Tsarmina said, "This switching back and forth is confusing me."

"Hey guys, I have an idea," Badrang said, "When you crashed my head into the door, I got all smart. Why don't we just knock on the door and see who answers?"

"Smart...?" Tsarmina asked.

"Test me."

"Okay. [2y(5x4f3x-4974/246)/53z+3w3a5y(8-4y)z6]5+(n-t)," Tsarmina said, "Find x."

"X is next to the 5 and the 3 in the first term," Badrang sounded confident.

"Woah, you just blew my mind," the author said.

"Just knock on the stupid door," Duchess mewed.

Badrang did as he was told.

"WHO GOES THERE?" A voice boomed from behind the door.

"Duchess," Duchess answered.

"Go away," the voice said, "You annoy me."

"I'm on a special mission from You Know Who," Duchess said.

"...oh, fine, I'm just messing with you," the menacing voice said.

The door swung open to reveal... Winnie the Pooh.

"I did NOT expect that," the author said.

"Welcome," said Pooh, "To the Disney Force Home Base."

"So, where is this party thing?" Rick asked.

"I don't know. But hurry! It starts right now!!!" Lauren said.

"It says 'The Disneyland Hotel'," Lilly read.

"Good, you can read at a third grade level," Jack said sarcastically.

"WE ARE GOING TO THE HOTEL!!!! NOOOWWWW!" Lauren shrieked.

"She really likes Mulan," Jack sighed.

"WELL I WANT TO MEET TINKERBELL!" Rick shouted, "I HAVE A CRUSH ON HER!"

"I WANT TO MEET ZAZU AND ALL THE OTHER BIRDS!" Lilly screamed.

"LION KING!" Hector yelled, "THE ARISTOCATS!"

"I've always wanted to be a Disney princess," Tanya said dreamily.

"I AM STILL SURROUNDED BY CRAZY PEOPLE!" Jack exclaimed.

"Elisha's the craziest," the author said, "Then I'd say Hector comes in second... then Lauren then Lilly then Rick then Tanya and Jack is actually slightly sane."

"SLIGHTLY?!?" Jack yelled.

"Where's Elisha?" Lilly asked.

"Remember, she got engaged," Lauren said.

"Are we invited to the wedding?" Rick asked.

"I like cake..." Hector said, "But not cupcakes..."

Suddenly, Mangiz flew down. "Here's your invitations," he said, handing them each a letter, "Smell them. Now."

"Smell them...?" Tanya asked.

"I had to make three hundred of these. I write everything down, tie a little bow, then spray with a hint of orange. But if you spray too much, it leaves a freakin' spot and you have to do it over again. And again, and again, and AGAIN until it's five in the morning and you pass out and when you wake up your told that the ribbons are champagne colored and bridezilla wants GOLD ribbons, not CHAMPAGNE. So smell them. Now."

They obeyed before Mangiz tried to hurt them.

"BIRDIE!" Lilly screamed, but Mangiz already flew away.

"This says the wedding's tomorrow!" Lilly said.

"Good, you can now read at FOURTH grade level," Jack huffed.

"Where are you taking me?" Chickenhound asked.

The bear-man-thing shrugged.

"...okay then. I gotta go... my fiancee is gonna worry about me..."

"RAWR!"

"Okay then... this isn't a very stimulating conversation."

"Rawr RAWR rawr rawr."

"Interesting. Go on."

"Rawr rawr RAWR rawr rrrrrraaaawwwrrrrrr."

"I agree completely," Chickenhound said, "Hey, look! I see the snakes!"

The man-bear-thing looked around, and shrugged.

"Look! Over there! Over those trees!" Chickenhound stood up to peer over the tree tops, "No wait... I'm wrong. False al-aaarrrrmmm!"

He lost his balance and stumbled into the river of doom.

"I am REALLY getting sick of this stupid river," he yelled as his head broke the surface.

"How could he LEAVE me?!?!" Elisha sobbed.

"It's okay," Todd comforted her, "He's a jerk and doesn't deserve you."

"Stop HITTING on me!" Elisha told him.

"I'm not."

"Hey Elisha," Mangiz said, flying down to them, "I spotted Chickenhound as I was flying back. He's in the river at Grizzly River Run!"

"We have to rescue him!" Elisha declared.

"We?" Mangiz asked.

"Hm... we need someone whose ninja enough for the job..." Elisha said.

"Why? He can fend for himself," Todd said.

"I'm ENGAGED to him!" Elisha exclaimed.

"If I was to help you save him, would you like me more?" Todd asked.

"Um..."

"I am going to take that as a yes."

"Hey Todd," Mangiz said, "I thought you already had a love interest with Vixey."

"Yeah... she broke up with me," Todd said sadly, "She said 'I don't want to date a guy who might get me shot whenever I go out with him'. Anyway, c'mon! I know who can help!"

He ran off, Elisha following him. Mangiz stood these, wondering why Chickenhound didn't realize that the water was shallow. It reminded him of that time with Veil, which is not a good thing.

"Okay, I have an idea," Gonff said, "Why don't we go in the direction of Duchess's voice, since we're trying to find her."

"...SMART!!!" Everyone else exclaimed.

They decided to try his plan. Surprisingly, it actually worked!

"It's a DOOR!" Cluny exclaimed.

"Yes Cluny, it IS a door," Matthias sighed, "Do you know how to OPEN a door?"

"Well DUH!" Cluny said, then crashed his head against it and passed out.

"Exactly," Matthias said.

"You knock on the door," Pocahontas sighed.

"I'm going to knock on it," Dotti said.

"Maybe I want to knock on it," Breeze glared at her.

"No more arguing please!" Jodd said. He knocked on the door himself.

"WHO'S THERE?" The big menacing voice boomed.

"Banana," Jodd answered.

"BANANA WHO?"

Jodd knocked on the door again.

"WHO'S THERE?"

"Banana," Jodd answered.

"BANANA WHO?"

Jodd knocked on the door again.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, WHO IS THERE?!?!"

"Orange," Jodd concluded.

"ORANGE WHO?"

"Orange you glad I didn't say-"

"JODD!" Bluefen yelled, "This is getting us absolutely nowhere."

"IF I OPEN THE DOOR, WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?" The voice asked.

"No," Jodd said truthfully, "But you should open it anyway."

"Let them in," a familiar voice said. It was Duchess.

"FINE."

The door opened and Winnie the Pooh stood there. "Welcome to the Disney Force Home Base. I hope you enjoy your... ahem... stay."

"Guys... does anyone else recognize this place?" Mattimeo asked.

They looked around the room.

"It's... The Disneyland Hotel," Sunflash answered.

"Didn't we just stay in this hotel a few nights ago... wait... how long has it been?" Cornflower asked, "The flow of time here confuses me."

"Here we are!" Lilly said, "The Disneyland Hotel!"

"I CAN FINALLY MEET THE KITTIES FROM THE LION KING!!!" Hector skrieked.

"I CAN MEET MULAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lauren screamed at the top of her lungs, "Oh, and SHANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, GENERAL Shang!!!"

"Over here!" Todd called. Elisha followed him through the underground tunnel. They were running very fast, so fast that they couldn't stop in time as they got to the door of the Disney Force Home Base and crashed into the mob of Redwall characters.

"HEY GUYS!" Elisha screamed, "IT'S YOU!"

"Um... hi Elisha..." the Redwallers said back, disappointed to see her again because they thought they got rid of her.

"Chickenhound's in danger and we're looking for help," Elisha said.

"CHICKENHOUND IS IN DANGER?!?!" Nightshade screamed.

"Okay..." Sela said, "So... what are we supposed to do about it?"

"It depends... are any of you ninja enough to save him from a flowing river?" Todd asked.

"I can!" General Shang announced, "But I'll need help. Follow me!"

Elisha and Todd (and Nightshade, who was worried about her nephew) ran after him. He went into a random hotel room.

"Mulan?" he said, opening the door.

"CLOSE THE FREAKIN' DOOR!" A large woman screamed, diving behind the bed.

"S-s-sorry ma'am, wrong room," General Shang shut the door quickly.

"Who was THAT?!" Elisha asked.

"Ursula... who apparently was shaving," Todd said, shaking his head.

"...shaving?" Nightshade asked.

"I'm not sure," General Shang said, "It's... personal. Anyway, it's the NEXT door."

He opened the other room. Inside, Mulan was cornered by a crazy fangirl.

"SHANG!" Mulan screamed, "HELP!"

"That's GENERAL Shang!" General Shang growled.

The girl turned around. She had a goofy grin on her face. "SHAAAAAAAAANNGGG!!!!!!!"

"Oh no..." Todd backed away.

"Lauren!" Elisha said, "Calm down!"

Lauren tackled General Shang to the ground.

"I LOVE YOU!" She squealed, "BUT I DON'T WANT TO STEAL YOU FROM MULAN!"

"GET OFF OF ME! MULAN AND I HAVE TO RESCUE SOMEONE!"

"Oh... em... gee... A RESCUE MISSION!!??" Lauren shrieked, "WE CAN PLAY THE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME!!! I WANNA COME WITH YOU!!!"

"NO!"

"I'M COMING WITH YOU!!!!!" Lauren announced, "LET'S GO!"

She grabbed them both and dragged them along.

"Okay, here's the plan," Mulan said, standing by the river, "Lauren, you stay here. Elisha and Nightshade, you make sure she doesn't kill herself. Shang and I-"

"GENERAL Shang," General Shang growled.

"I'm your wife. I can call you anything I want," Mulan said, "Anyway, Shang and I will get our ninja on."

"I WANT TO BE NINJA!" Lauren yelled.

"I WANT YOU TO SAVE CHICKENHOUND NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Elisha screamed.

"We're working on it!" Mulan yelled.

"I have a question," Nightshade said, "Didn't they kidnapped Mulan so General Shang would work for them?"

"Uh.........." Mulan and Shang ("That's GENERAL Shang!" General Shang growled) glanced at each other.

"I told you, we're ninja," Mulan said.

"I rescued her," General Shang declared.

"She was sitting in a hotel room," Elisha said.

"No, it WAS locked, silly," Lauren said, "But I broke in."

"That's a little obsessive," Todd observed.

"Whatever let's just do this," Mulan said.

"Well," the author said, "We'll check back with you. Let's get back to the hotel."

"Am I the only one who thinks it's a bit creepy that we slept in this place when it was actually the home base of the people who are trying to kill us?" Bluefen asked.

"Nah, it happens all the time," Cornflower said.

"So.... why are we just standing in the middle of the lobby?" Basil asked, "And all the Disney characters are staring at us menacingly..."

Just then, the fangirls/boys ran over. They were reunited with their obsessions.

"BUNNY!!!!" Rick screamed and tackled Basil to the ground. Instead of helping him, the remaining hares scattered.

"KITTY!!!" Hector squealed and ran over to pet Tsarmina.

"BIRDIES!" Lilly was about to run over to Korvus, Ironbeak, the doomwytes (Mangiz was getting Elisha's wedding ready), Stryk, and Skarlath when she saw some Disney birds out of the corner of her eye.

"OH EM GEE! IT'S ZAZU AND DIABLO AND FLIT AND SCUTTLE AND IAGO AND ARCHIMEDES AND BIG MAMA!"

"I don't even know who all of those are," Tanya said.

"IT'S THE BIRDIE DUDE FROM THE LION KING, DIABLO IS THE RAVEN IN SLEEPING BEAUTY, FLIT IS THE HUMMINGBIRD GUY FROM POCAHONTAS, SCUTTLE IS THE SEAGULL IN THE LITTLE MERMAID, AND IAGO IS THE PARROT FROM ALADDIN, ARCHIMEDES IS THE OWL FROM THE SWORD IN THE STONE AND BIG MAMA IS THE OWL FROM THE FOX AND THE HOUND!" Lilly screamed all at once, then passed out from lack of air.

"Hey, you told me there weren't any female bids in Disney," Ironbeak said to Pocahontas, "But Big Mama is female..."

"Well," Pocahontas said, "The author forgot about her until a reviewer pointed her out."

"Is she okay?" Zazu asked, looking at Lilly.

"Okay as in physically from passing out, or okay as in mentally?" Frang asked.

"Both."

"She'll wake up eventually, but she's not okay in the head, like the rest of the fangirls/boys," Frang answered.

"Hey Jack, this is a suckish party," Tanya said, "Make it livelier."

"What do you want me to do?" Jack asked.

"Make something happen!" Tanya answered, "And unless I have fun, we are so breaking up."

"Uh, okay," Jack said, "What do you want me to do?"

Tanya handed him a party hat, a rubber duck, duct tape, and a balloon.

"Make something up," she told him.

Breeze looked around the corner into the hallway. The coast was clear. Cautiously, she began to walk down the aisle. There were no signs of Rick... Suddenly, she heard something moving in the plants. She froze.

"W-who's there?" She asked.

"That depends," a voice said, "Who are YOU?"

It wasn't Rick's voice, so Breeze relaxed.

"I'm Breeze," Breeze said, "Come on out of there, I won't hurt you."

A grey rabbit jumped out from the plant. He was shorter than Breeze but was... fluffier.

"I'm Thumper," the rabbit said.

He's kinda cute, Breeze thought, Cuter than Basil and Jodd. But... he looks like a Disney character. And besides... he's a rabbit.

"I'm from the movie Bambi," Thumper continued, "But Mickey is planning some big battle and he needed all the characters he could get, so I'm here now."

"Wait... a big battle?" Breeze asked, "That wasn't mentioned before."

The author sighed and said, "Can't we have ANY surprises here?"

"What movie are you from?" Thumper asked Breeze, "The Fox and the Hound? One of the woodland animals in Snow White?"

He thinks I'm a Disney character. Maybe I shouldn't tell him I'm a Redwall character, because if they're preparing for battle, then it might be dangerous... And he is pretty darn cute.

"Yeah, I'm a woodland creature, but in Sleeping Beauty, not Snow White," Breeze said.

"That's cool," Thumper said, "I mean, you got to sing with Princess Aurora. But my movie didn't have any songs that I sing."

"Oh..." Breeze said, "But you're a major character, right?"

"Yeah, I'm Bambi's best friend, so it's all good," Thumper said cheerfully, "Anyway, I think we should be getting back to Home Base for the meeting."

He's not just cute. He's hot! Wait... did he say something about a meeting? Home Base? Interesting... I feel like a spy. Hehe... cue mission theme song.

Without warning, the Mission Impossible theme began to play.

"They've been gone for a long time," Elisha said, sitting at the edge of the river.

"It's okay," Nightshade said, "I heard that Shang and Mulan are certified ninjas."

"Not only that," Todd said, "But they went to the School of Awesome. Hehe... I did too."

"Really?" Elisha asked.

Todd nodded, seeing Elisha's gaze grow softer and more loving.

"Yeah," Todd continued, "I have a masters degree in awesomeness."

"I can't tell, are you flirting with her?" Nightshade asked, "If you are, then you're failing miserably."

"Shut up," Todd barked.

"Todd, you're nice, but I'm engaged," Elisha said, "We should just stay friends."

Todd was silent for a moment, then turned away. "Yes," he said, "Just friends..."

"Hey sorry to interrupt your I-will-get-revenge moment," Nightshade interrupted again, "But has anyone seen Lauren?"
"Oh no..." Elisha sighed.

"There he is!" Mulan pointed at Chickenhound, who was holding on to a rock in the river. They were perched on some of the rocks at the side of the river.

"Okay, here's the plan," General Shang said, "You go on to the east side of this river, grab a tree branch and throw me this knife. I will carve a sundial into this rock and throw it at you. You catch it and-"

"Can't we just throw him a rope or something?" Mulan asked.

"...Riiiight," General Shang agreed.

"Hold on!" Mulan called to Chickenhound, "We're going to throw you a rope!"

"I CAN'T SWIM!" Chickenhound yelled.

"WHICH IS WHY WE'RE TRYING TO HELP YOU!" Mulan yelled back

Shang threw the rope to the fox. He didn't even notice that the author forgot to put the word 'general'. Chickenhound grabbed on to the rope and hung on tight. But suddenly, the Bear-Man-Thing in his raft came crashing through. He grabbed Chickenhound and pulled him into the log, which pulled Mulan and Shang into the river.

"LET GO OF THE ROPE!" General Shang shouted.

"NO I CAN'T SWIM!" Chickenhound screamed.

"YOU'RE NOT IN WATER!" Mulan yelled.

"NOOO!!!!" Chickenhound shrieked.

"Don't let go!" General Shang said to Mulan.

"I WASN'T PLANNING TO, FOR YOUR INFORMATION!" Mulan screamed as the raft went down a waterfall.

Lauren sat down by the Grizzly River Rapids and sighed.

"Where are they?" She asked out loud, "Oh forget it, I'll never find them."

Suddenly, the raft zoomed by with Mulan and Shang trailing behind.

"WAIT FOR ME!" Lauren screamed.

"HELP US!" Mulan yelled back.

"OH MY GOD you're asking ME for help?!?!" Lauren asked.

"YES!" Mulan yelled from the distance as the raft went faster.

Lauren ran after them, trying to impress them. Then she realized that the rafts were filled with air... She grabbed a knife (she always had one hidden in her sock) and threw it at the inflated part of the raft. It popped and sank into the water, coming to a stop. Mulan and Shang exchanged glances, then climbed into the sunken raft. Shang grabbed the Bear-Man-Thing and Mulan grabbed Chickenhound and pulled them both to the rocks that bordered the river.

"Who is this bear-man-thing?" Mulan asked.

"Let's see," Shang said. He pulled off the bear costume's head...

"If this is a 'party'," Cluny said, "Then where's the CAKE?!?!"

"Don't you remember?" Ironbeak asked, "You dove into it headfirst an hour ago."

Meanwhile, Baby Rollo wandered through the hotel. There were many Disney characters and many people, and every so often a Redwall Suddenly, he was grabbed by something and pulled into a hotel room.

"I got one!" A voice exclaimed.

"You were SUPOSSED to wait until Mickey gave orders," another voice grunted.

Baby Rollo could see two adult men arguing. One of them had black hair and the other had brown hair, but that was all he could see, because his head was to the ground.

"Not only that," the second voice continued, "But this is a baby. Good going, Philip."

"Hey it's not my fault!" The first voice, who was Philip, insisted, "I saw a vole. What do you want from me?"

"You kidnapped a baby, you sick person," the second person said, "Do you really want that on your conscience?"

"Now, Eric, think about it. If we let him go now, he'll just tell the rest of them what we're doing."

"Dude, for the third time: This. Is. A. Baby," Eric said.

"So? Some babies can talk."

"You know what, maybe you're not the best guy to work with. I knew I should have partnered up with Aladdin."

"Hey, you didn't have to fight a freakin' dragon!" Philip yelled.

"You didn't almost marry an ugly sea witch," Eric replied.

"Bye bye," Rollo said. While the two of them were fighting, he slipped away through the door.

"Look!" Philip growled, "He got away thanks to you!"

"You know what, I don't like your attitude."

"I don't like your face!"

"Oh, bring it on!"

"Let's see," Jack said, "Tanya gave me a rubber duck, a balloon, a party hat, and duct tape to make this party interesting... And if I don't, she'll break up with me! Uh..."

He sat in a chair in the lobby. An hour later, he finished his creation. He used the string from the party hat to tie the duck to the balloon. He hung a strip of duct tape from the duck. He had absolutely no idea what it was supposed to do, but he decided it was good enough.

"Here, Tanya," he said, handing it to her."

"What is this?" She asked.

"Something that will probably be a plot element later," Jack answered.

"Come here, Veil," Swartt said to his son.

"What do you want?" Veil asked.

"Well, I've been thinking. I've never been a very good father figure to you-"

"You killed me," Veil reminded him.

"Exactly," Swartt said, "When you were growing up, we never had quality father and son time to get to know each other."

"Where are you going with this?" Veil asked.

Swartt didn't say anything. He walked over to a bag and pulled out a football.

"Here ya go, son," he said, throwing it at Veil. It whacked Veil in the head with a loud BAM.

"You were supposed to catch that," Swartt said.

"Tell me about it," Veil said, getting up off of the floor.

"I need to teach you how to play football," Swartt said.

"No, Dad, really, you-"

"And then I'm gonna take you fishing, and we'll build a derby car together, and go camping, and go to a football game, and-"

"No, Dad, please," Veil said, "I don't wanna-"

"Come on, let's go!" Swartt said, dragging his son off.

"Come on Breeze, this way!" Thumper led her through the hallway, "We need to get to the meeting."

"You must be important if you're invited to a meeting," Breeze said.

"Well, I suppose," Thumper said, blushing, "You're important too."

"No, I'm just one of those woodland creatures in the background," Breeze said, staying with her cover.

"No... you're special to me," Thumper said.

It was Breeze's turn to blush.

I forgot, Breeze thought, In Disney, they're used to falling in love in, like, five minutes. Well, I'm just fine with that!

Yeah, kind of an abrupt ending, but I wanted to save a couple surprises for the next chapter. So... yeah.