Hello! So I'd just like to say that this in no way is meant to offend pregnant women, it's just a silly exaggeration on their sometimes odd behavior and mood swings. Enjoy!

XxX

Penname: Jburdick

Original or Derivative (fanfiction): Derivative

Rating/Warning(s)/Note(s): M for language

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

Prompt: Word Prompt: Polish

XxX

Pregnant women are scary.

Especially pregnant women who are about a minute from giving birth and have taken to throwing things at you because they don't move so quick at the present time and cant catch you to hurt you by hand.

My wife, Bella is that kind of scary pregnant woman right now. We talk, she gets frustrated, then angry, then she cries because she feels bad that she yelled at me, then I laugh because her hormones are like a fucking roller coaster, then she gets mad again and throws shit at me. And depending on how heavy said shit is, she either stays mad or starts crying again because she feels bad.

It's been a rough couple of months.

My sister, Alice, and Bella have been best friends since me and Bella started dating. Alice wants Bella to be as happy and comfortable and humanly possible right now so she's been giving me pointers on things I can do to make Bella feel better.

Pedicures are on her list of the top five things she cannot live without. So I, with the help of Alice, have put together a little something to pamper my Bella with.

I put the lavender-vanilla foot soak in the bottom of the new foot bath I picked up and Bed, Bath and Beyond and filled it with almost hot water. I slowly carried the foot bath out into the living room where I already had a towel folded on the floor at the foot of her favorite recliner. After setting it up and plugging it in I went to go find my girl.

"Babe?" I called, heading toward the bedroom. I didn't see her in our room, but I heard a quiet sniffle coming from our bathroom just as I was about to walk away.

I pushed the door open slowly and saw Bella standing on the scale, head hung low and her shoulders shaking with her crying. I rushed to her side, thinking something had to be wrong.

"Baby, what's wrong? Is it the kid?" I asked, placing one hand on her belly and the other on her tear stained cheek. I searched her eyes and found sadness. It literally hurt my heart to see that look in her eyes.

"Yes…it's the stupid kid.." She choked out. I panicked a little inside and framed her face in my hands. "What is it, what's the matter?" I asked.

"It made me so ffaaatttt." She whaled, sobbing out loud now. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and pressed my lips to her forehead, cheeks and lips.

"Your not fat." I mumbled. "Your beautiful." She started shaking her head dramatically.

"I am fat, want to know how I know?" She sniffed, a slight quiver to her voice.

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her reasoning. Which I knew would be ridiculous.

"'Cause I can't see the numbers." She showed me what she meant, standing properly on the scale and trying to peer around her round stomach. I laughed softly and stroked her hair.

"I have a surprise for you." I said, hoping to change the subject and drop the whole weight issue.

"Yea?" She asked, an excited sparkle in her eyes. "What is it?"

"Come, I'll show you."

I led her to the living room and couldn't help the smile the took over my face when she squealed in delight at the foot bath. "Oh my god, Edward, that looks amazing!" She said, clapping her hands together.

I helped her place her feet in the water once she was relaxing in the chair and turned on the bubbles. "Is it too hot?" I asked.

"Mmm no, it's perfect." She purred, leaning her head back against the chair, eyes closed.

I did a mental pat on the back and let her know I'd be back in a few minutes. I made her a glass of iced tea and grabbed a few extra towels.

"Where did you get the idea for this?" Bella moaned softly while I massaged the lavender-vanilla lotion into her feet. I shrugged. "I just know you love getting this stuff done and you haven't much felt like going out to do it in a long time so I wanted to do something special for you." I half lied, Alice didn't care if I took the credit anyway.

"Aww, your so thoughtful, honey. I love you." She moaned again as I put more pressure on her arches. "I love you too."

Next came the part I was most worried about. The polish. I had picked out a deep midnight blue that I knew Bella would love, and that I selfishly knew I would love on her.

She peeked down at me when she felt her foot get propped onto my knee. The winning smile I got made all of this effort more than worth it.

"Okay, try to hold still as much as possible so I don't end up painting your entire foot." I laughed. I was being one hundred percent serious though. I had never done this before and did not want to fuck it up after everything else went so well.

Turns out it was easier than I thought it would be. Kind of reminded me of when I used to paint those model race cars and airplanes as a kid. All it took was a steady hand and a little concentration.

I moved everything to the side and stood up, pulling the lever on the recliner to bring the leg up. "All done, gorgeous." I whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek.

She leaned forward and inspected her toes, wiggling them around. She turned to me and smiled, kissing my lips firmly. "Thank you, Edward." She sighed. It felt nice to have these relaxing moments with her. "You are more than welcome." I smiled, nuzzling her nose with mine.

She sniffled all the sudden and threw her arms around my neck, nearly suffocating me. "Your too good to me! I'm such a hormonal bitch!" She exclaimed, sobbing into my neck loudly.

I laughed and shook my head. Maybe I spoke to soon.