Author's Notes: Chapter 5 is complete, and boy was it huge! Warning for some excessive swearing and heads-up on dialogue style: Aaroniero Arruruerie: Bold text=low voice & Italicized=high voice, of course if you read it, I made it obvious, but just in case, you know. Also, a wee bit o' background on our favorite bartender, Del. So please join me in welcoming chapter 5 of...Heartless Love (HAHA!), to the FMASTA9 collection of epics! (That's a new one I just came up with, I should use that one more often too, HAHAHAA!)
Chapter 5: The couples met in the center of the café, everyone glaring at each other. The girls seemed furious about something, and the guys knew what was coming and braced for it. "Screw off you pink-haired faggot, I don't even know what I was thinking dating a homo like you," Apache screamed at Szayel Aporro, which made him backup a step in utter surprise, "Wha…Wha…What?" "I said I'm leaving you needle-dick!" "Huh?" Szayel Aporro fell on his knees to the floor in anguish of getting dumped. "Hey, tub-a-lard, I'm breaking up with you, got it," Mila-rose yelled at Yammy. "What? Whaddya mean breaking up with me? What'd I do know," Yammy blurted angrily at her rudeness. "It means lose some weight and try again, fat ass!" "Why you little-" "Little what, say it!" "Bitch!" "That's the last straw, you are dead!" Mila-rose pulled out her sword and charged at him, making Yammy resort to blocking her blade with his own. "I would like to be single again, is that okay," Sun-sun calmly waved her sleeve while talking to him. "Okay," Ulquiorra replied, simply closing his eyes at the statement. Sun-sun felt terrible at what she just did, but she knew it was necessary. After five minutes of yelling, fighting, and staring, he finally had enough. "!" A very squeaky voice bellowed about the café. They froze and turned their attention to the annoying voice. Aaroniero Arruruerie stood before them, "why must you constantly fight while you could be enjoying each other's company?" "It's ridiculous," a lower, darker voice followed up. "Love is a hard thing to find in this world/so we should cherish it when we have it!" He took a few steps forward. "Who knows how long we have to live/so let's make up and stop fighting!" The couples just stared at him, which made Aaroniero nervous. Grimmjow was laughing his ass of at the bar; the only sound emanated not including Aaroniero's bubbly noises. A saltshaker then flew at Aaroniero and smacked him straight in the face with a disgruntled 'ow'. "Grrr! Aaroniero you idiot! We're not fighting! We're just finding out who takes dumping better…oops," Apache slapped her hands to her mouth at the end of her sentence, but was too late to stop herself from spilling the truth. "Wha-what do you mean who takes dumping better," Szayel Aporro stuttered at this cruel joke. The girls sighed. "We made a bet on who would take dumping better, Yammy, Szayel Aporro, or Ulquiorra," Mila-rose admitted, guilt present in her tone. "Why the hell would you do something stupid like that," Yammy barked at her out of rage. "Because it's in our nature to be competitive when it comes to love," Sun-sun stated, closing her eyes out of shame for her weakness. "Indeed," Ulquiorra calmly followed up her statement to soften her embarrassment. "Don't you see/this competition is tearing you apart/so girl's, say you're sorry/and guys, forgive them!" A plate flew through the air and landed smack dab in the middle of his face, sending him to the floor again with another half-hearted 'ow'. "We're working on it, so just shut up dickhead," Mila-rose yelled at the ninth espada sprawled out on the floor. "Sorry guys," Apache dropped her head in guilt. "We didn't mean to toy with your feelings like that," Mila-rose continued. "We beg your forgiveness," Sun-sun finished, bowing her head as well. Silence filled the room again, the only sound coming from the bar, the waiter cleaning plates and Grimmjow whispering to Vega, likely a joke, as he was doing his best not to laugh. Finally, after looking at each other, the guys sighed and spoke up. "I'll let it go this time, but don't you ever fool me like that again," Szayel Aporro said confidently. "Whatever, it doesn't matter to me. I'll let it go as well, just for you," Yammy said whilst scratching his mountainous head. "Forgiven," was all Ulquiorra said, but it seemed it was all they wanted. The trios collided, Apache choking Szayel Aporro in a 'headlock hug', Mila-rose doing her best to get her arms around Yammy's waste, and Sun-sun, surprisingly, jumping into Ulquiorra's arms, clinging to his neck out of gratitude. "Aw/ now they just need to kiss and it'll be perfect," Aaroniero…'sniffed?', as he watched them again. Sun-sun forced herself out of Ulquiorra's arms, walked over to one of their tables, picked it up, and tossed it straight into Aaroniero's face. Grimmjow and Vega lost it, clutching their ribs in uncontrollable laughter. The table smashed into pieces upon contact with Aaroniero's face, sending him, once again, to the floor, "that one actually hurt!" They heard a cracking sound and saw what looked like water spout from one of the holes in his mask. "Shit," the low voice exclaimed as he got up and tripped over to the bar, clutching at Del's apron, "water…water please!" Del, without moving anything but his arm, pulled up a hose and stuck it in the leaking hole. Grimmjow was on the floor now, falling off his chair in his bout of laughter, but the act only seemed to make it that much more hilarious. "I have to admit, bubble boy's got a point," Apache looked at Szayel Aporro, who just smiled at her. "I don't see how it could hurt," Mila-rose looked up at Yammy, who also grinned at her. Sun-sun returned into Ulquiorra's arms, her legs wrapped around his waist supported by his arms. It was an awkward position, but they didn't care. "Ready?" Sun-sun looked down at Ulquiorra, clasping his neck in their reverse piggyback position. Ulquiorra closed his eyes, Yammy puckered his lips, and Szayel Aporro…stuck out his tongue. Apache winced at this, but nervously went with it. Mila-rose followed Sun-sun's example and jumped on Yammy, landing a wild lip-lock on him. When they released, Mila-rose grinned unexpectedly, "Oh yeah, baby, you can kiss me any time! "How about now?" "Woohoo!" In a flash the all to familiar Sonido, they were gone. Ulquiorra and Sun-sun had kissed about two minutes ago, having yet to move from their current position (They hoped that they could breathe through their noses). Apache swallowed her excess saliva and opened her mouth to make it fit over Szayel Aporro's tongue. After a record ten seconds of the most disgusting thing she ever did, they released. Szayel Aporro wasted no time, pulling a cubed object from his shirt and sticking his tongue in it. A voice rang from the cube, "recorded" "Excellent," Szayel Aporro said to himself, staring at the cube. Apache tilted her head at this. "As I thought, the female taste is disgusting, this why I prefer men." Apache's jaw dropped in awe at what he just said. "Oh, almost forgot…my turn! I'm dumping you darling, your usefulness has come to an end." "What…did…you…say," Apache struggled to say, her forehead twitching wildly out of rage. "In case your small brain hasn't figured it out yet, I'll spell it out for you. I was just using you to collect data on female arrancars, I would never date you, because if you haven't heard, I prefer men." "Why you no good, pink-haired, faggoty-ass, son of a-," "Toodles," Szayel Aporro waved to her before disappearing, which made Apache taken aback. "Where do you think you're going, you little homo!" Apache then disappeared as well. After five minutes of not moving, Sun-sun and Ulquiorra finally released. She smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm tired, let's go to your place for a nap," Sun-sun commanded him. Ulquiorra moved her to his back in a piggyback position, "as you wish dear." She grinned at Ulquiorra's rare use of kindness, which seemed to become common with her. He walked out the door and disappeared, leaving the café being the last couple to leave. Unless, of course, Grimmjow and Vega counted, because they stayed for another hour or so, drinking milk and laughing at their recollections of the eventful evening they just had. Aaroniero left an hour ago, cursing his luck and plugging the leak hole with his finger. "Relationships are so confusing sometimes/tell me about it." Eventually day turned to day turned to night turned to night (Hueco Mundo transitions are weird), and though it signaled midnight, it had only been three hours since the others left. The waiter tipped his gentlemen's hat to Del, who replied with 'humph' as he walked out the door. Del put down the glass he was cleaning and stared at the two remaining tenants, Grimmjow and Vega, who stared annoyed back at him. Finally, they got up, Grimmjow cracking his neck and Vega downing his milk, "Yeah, yeah, we're going, we're going!" They too disappeared, leaving Del to the darkness of his café. He sighed and poured a glass of 'Ol' Hueco Mundo Brandy', and downed it in one fell swoop. He looked over to a portrait on the bar wall of beautiful, young lady. A sapphire blue tear ran down his white, skull shaped face, for he had not always been alone in his passion. Del's wife perished a while ago, which pushed him to pursue the art of cooking to the extreme, as it was their shared dream. When couples always came to Del's café, it brought him happiness, as it reminded him of her. He wiped the blue tear and dropped it into a sapphire collection glass in front of the portrait. With a small smile, he floated to the cabin above his bar for which he lived and closed the door, content with the business he had today.