Despite the fact that the memories of her human life were hazy and that the man before her was a mere shadow of what he had been when she had known him, she knew that it was him right away. During the course of the last year of her human life he had been the embodiment of her hopes and her nightmares, but now it was apparent that life had gotten the best of him. True, he had been suffering the effects of the famine when she had last seen him, but it seemed that life had not gotten better for him afterwards judging by his torn clothing, grey stubble, and thin frame.

But, his blue eyes were the same.

At first those blue eyes seemed confused when she had said his name, but it wasn't long before confusion turned to shock and then fear as he seemed to recognize her. Stumbling backwards he tried to get away, but she was too quick for him, and before he even had the chance to turn, she was standing before him, helping to steady him on his feet.

"There is no need to run, Aleksei." Her voice only seemed to frighten him more and he fell to his knees before her, blubbering like a fool, clutching at her skirts and petticoats. She couldn't understand what he was trying to say, most of it incoherent, but she did catch the words "forgiveness" and "punishment" during the course of his ramblings.

By now, some of the coachmen and footmen had heard the commotion and had come running. They kindly offered to remove Aleksei's offending figure from her presence, but she shook her head, thanking them and telling them that she could take care of it. They looked doubtful, but let her be and she leaned down to help Aleksei stand. "Please, stop. Stand up," her voice was soft, kind.

Although he flinched at her touch, he did not pull away and looking at her he asked, his voice practically a sob. "How?"

Now there was a question that she couldn't answer. Glancing over her shoulder she saw that the servants that had come to her assistance weren't too far off and she sighed and started to lead Aleksei off. "Come," she said.

As they walked around the mansion, the strains of music from the orchestra reaching them outside, she frowned a bit. What was she to do with him now? Her sister and mama would not be happy to have her cover blown. She knew that they did not care if she had been nothing more than a poor peasant in her past life, but with the lives they led it was important to keep up appearances. But, looking at Aleksei she wasn't sure that anyone would believe what he had to say even if he did speak out.

Walking along with the man who was still weeping by her side, she wondered why she wasn't angry, though she knew that she probably should be. Instead she felt pity for the man. Perhaps it stemmed from the fact that he was one of the few people that had shown her true kindness during her mortal life.

Leading him to the stables she pondered again at the injustices of life. The horses here were treated better than peasants such as Aleksei were. Finding an empty stall for him she whispered, "Sit and rest. I will find you something to eat."

With her sensitive nose it wasn't hard to find a small stash of food in the master groomsman's quarters and she brought him the simple loaf of bread, wedge of cheese, and container of ale that she had found. Paying no mind to the pale blue satin gown she wore trimmed in royal blue ribbons she sat on the clean hay across from him and watched as he devoured the meager meal, his eyes never leaving hers as he ate.

After he had consumed more than half the food he asked hoarsely, his emotions still straining his voice, "Are, you a ghost then come to haunt me for my sins?"

She smiled at that and shook her head. "No. I'm still me…just different."

His brows drew together in confusion and he continued to eat in silence. As she watched him she felt that old yearning within her that she had always felt in his presence before the famine and she pondered what life would have been like if she had been led on a different path, a path where she would have become his wife and had a family with him.

Feeling her eyes on him, he watched her warily and when he finished his meal he wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. He had been out of the village the night that the carnage had occurred. He had returned, expecting to take another turn "watching" her, when he had encountered the bodies of his dead friends and comrades strewn about. He had no idea what had happened and had run, assuming that she was among the dead.

How was it that she had survived?

She sat there wondering the same thing.

Tanya had told her that she had killed all the men present when she had discovered Irina, but obviously Aleksei had not been among the dead. In a way she was grateful. It was nice to have some connection to the few pleasant memories she had in her human life, and wondering if she could feel the same things again, she unexpected leaned towards him and brushed her cold, hard lips against his.

Aleksei had been surprised by the gesture, but he kissed her back, his mind not immediately registering the differences in the softness and temperature of her flesh.

The straw crunched underneath them as she pulled him down onto the ground with her, so he was lying on top of her, and it wasn't long before his hands were fumbling with the fabric of her skirts, seeking out the bare skin beneath her petticoats. He hissed at the coldness of her flesh, but still, he was thinking of finding pleasure instead of processing that something might be wrong. It had been a very long time since he had been with a woman. In fact, the last woman he had been with had been Irina when he had forcefully taken her.

And, despite Tanya's propensity for bedding some of the men that she encountered, Irina had refrained from doing so, still scared by the memory of the same forceful joining and the ones that had followed.

He was ready for her.

She thought she was ready for him, but she was not.

As he sheathed himself inside her, the hazy human memories of her rapes flooded her mind and she let out a cry of fear. He misinterpreted it as a sign of pleasure and started to thrust into her, hard and fast, groaning in her ear.

As a human his acts might have bruised her, now they were like nothing. And, she lay there for a moment, unmoving as her fear turned to anger.

Before she could think her arms and legs wrapped around him like a vise and her teeth sank into the flesh of his neck. Now his moans were cries of pain while hers were sounds of pleasure.