*************Two-Bit's pov*******************
I still was left speechless from the letter Soda's general sent us. When we got it, Darry began to cry, Ponyboy bawled, and Steve even started crying. I cried too, but definitely not as much as the rest of them.
Walking back to the Curtis' from Soda's funeral, it was silent. No one talked, only the sound of sniffles left us. Steve and I would've gone home, but we had to see if Ponyboy was okay. He wasn't coping well at all before we left. He never spoke since we found out; all he did was bawl in his room. It made us all so miserable, we couldn't bear it anymore and just left Pony to himself. That's all he wanted anyway. Clearly, we all reminded him of Soda.
Darry walked in first, then Steve, then me. We didn't hear any crying, so I was thinking that he probably cried himself to sleep. I sat down on the couch with Darry and Steve went in the kitchen.
Suddenly we heard a scream.
Darry and I rushed in to see what was happening. "Steve, what's wrong?" Darry asked coming in, then he saw it. I saw it too, and we screamed. All three of us began to cry. "Pone—Pony!" Darry said, picking up Ponyboy's lifeless body. Darry cried harder now, not caring that there was blood from Pony's neck spilling all over his arms. My hand was cupped over my mouth as I cried, scared and miserable. Steve and Darry were all I got left…
Darry was crying really hard as he bandaged up Pony's neck and cleaning the blood off the floor. He picked up the bloody knife and wailed as he tossed it in the trash. Steve picked up the phone and miserably, terrified, called the funeral home. This only made Darry cry harder, and me squinting my eyes shut from the tears stinging my pupils. Darry ran into his room while me and Steve were left with Pony's body. I couldn't look. I turned my head away, and leaned over the sink crying. I ended up throwing up, which made Steve more disgusted and miserable than he already was.
Then Steve began to bawl. I looked at him sympathetically, still crying. "I always acted like I-I didn't like him." He said between sniffles. "The last words that he heard from me were probably something like 'Get lost' or 'Leave me alone'! I didn't want that! Two-Bit, I feel so guilty…" I looked away from Steve. "WHY?" Darry screamed, startling Steve and I. We looked at each other, than at Pony, and immediately looked away, shutting our eyes. "WHY DID I TREAT HIM SO BAD IN THE PAST?" Darry wailed. I shut my eyes again. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't move. I couldn't leave Steve and Darry here alone with…with…with the body…
I wish I could've said Ponyboy. Alive, full-of-life Ponyboy. Well I couldn't. Poor kid. He was only fourteen years old. He hasn't lived his life fully yet. He didn't hit high school yet, didn't date girls yet, didn't do ANYTHING worthwhile yet, and now his life is over. It was bad enough Johnny died, being sixteen, but Pony, fourteen, is worse.
It was hard to know that all my friends died of something horrible. Dal and Soda got shot and Johnny got burned. Now, knowing Pony committed suicide, it was just too hard for me. I wanted to go hide under a rock and never come out. Right now, I wanted to die too. Just drop dead, and join Johnny, Dally, Sodapop, and Ponyboy in heaven. I knew they were there. Without a doubt.
I didn't care about anything for days and days after that. I wanted to die. I was too afraid to kill myself-it would hurt Darry and Steve too much. All the same, I wish Michelle would've stabbed me after raping me. I wish she'd do that right now, so maybe I would actually feel something. It killed me already, knowing my best friends were dead.
I have no idea how Steve and Darry coped, but as far as I knew I wasn't coping at ALL.
I was done. I kept asking the same question Darry asked over and over again. Why? Why us? Why does everything bad have to happen to us. I guess Ponyboy's killing himself was his own fault, but that didn't matter to me. Four of the greatest friends I've had in the whole world are dead. Gone. Forever.
And I'll never see them again.