I Felt Hope: An Alice & Jasper Story

by IntoTheTwilightRPG

The story of Alice and Jasper's first meeting all the way up until finding the Cullens. Rated MATURE for a reason. :

4. Chapter 4

4. Visions

"Wait!" she whispered. "Do you hear that?"

She leaned around the corner, staring at the group of humans in awe. They were reporters! Reporters looking for her! Her name was clearly audible amongst their chatter, all eager to discover who exactly the mystery man was that she had been waiting for in the diner all those years. It was to be tomorrow's top story.

Jasper didn't answer. He just simply leaned around the corner and trained his ears on the crowd. His mouth popped open, hearing Alice's name and mentioning of a man she was waiting for. The humans also brought with them, a miner temptation to feed. His throat tightened uncomfortably, as the mass of scents floated their direction. It took everything he had not to throw caution into the wind and go into a frenzy.

"Oh no," she groaned. "We can't go that way. They can't see you, not with your eyes the way they still are." She thought for a moment before spinning and taking off towards the back of the hotel, looking behind her to make sure Jasper had followed.

It was Alice's voice that brought him back from his dark thoughts. Then she was off, running down the alleyway. Jasper reluctantly pulled himself away from the scents and took off after her.

"It's silly, really," she said as she ran at human pace. "Sitting in that diner all these years waiting for you…well, Alice Whitmore became sort of a local legend."

He'd caught up to her easily enough and kept up a human pace next to her, his gaze flashing to hers when she spoke. "A legend?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes," she said, her mouth turned down in a frown. "You sit in the same diner on every rainy day for five years waiting for someone and people start to notice."

They reached the back of the hotel and Alice stole through the shadows to a back entrance.

As Alice raced through the shadows Jasper was right on her heels, skittering to a halt when she came to a sudden stop in front of a door and watched in curiosity as Alice curled her fingers around the handle. She then snapped it off as if it were a twig and the clang caught Jasper's ears as it came in contact with the concrete. Out of instinct he scanned the darkness, his ears attuned to any indication that someone had heard. There was no one. With a sigh of relief, he turned to see Alice pushing out the locking cylinder.

"Follow me," she said as she wrenched open the door and disappeared inside.

Right behind you," he said, his voice coming out low. Without another word, he followed her into the darkened doorway.

The corridors were plain, standing in stark contrast to the ornate exterior of the building. Sporadically placed overhead lights threw their shadows onto bare white walls as they made their way to a green door. Alice kicked it open and pushed Jasper inside, joining him and quickly shutting it behind her.

Ghosting behind her, Jasper's footsteps were whisper quiet. Aside from the sparse lighting, the corridor was black. Her own light footsteps, too low for human ears, were easily picked up by Jasper's. When they came to the end of the hallway, a green door stood in their way, though only briefly because Alice kicked it in and pushed him through it. The urgency of Alice's push caused an alarm to go off in Jasper's head and he quickly checked around them, to make sure all was clear. The sound of faint footsteps coming down the hall was cut off by Alice shutting the door.

Placing a finger to her lips she pointed to the staircase behind them. Taking his hand, she began to climb.

Jasper's gaze went to Alice as she took his hand. Without a word between them, they began descending the stairs.

On the 15th floor she exited, Jasper in tow, to a hallway very different than the one they had come from. The floor was covered with expensive carpet, the walls dripping with golden sconces. Moving quickly she took out a little key from her pocket and opened the door to room 1510.

When they reached the top, Jasper turned to Alice briefly, a small smile touching his lips, before they started off down the hall. The slum like appearance had given way to a more upper class look. He couldn't help but be somewhat impressed at the human architecture. Jasper followed her over to an ornate wooden door carved to match the upper class style that surrounded it and read the brass plate placed above the peep hole with the numbers 1510 etched into it. As she worked to fish out her keys, Jasper turned his gaze on her, lifting one eyebrow. "This is your room?" She didn't answer. She didn't have to because no sooner then he'd asked the question she'd managed to open the door. The room laid out before them was something of royalty taste. Jasper's expression turned awestruck as they left the hallway and entered the room.

The room was luxurious by any definition. A little sitting area, consisting of a settee, two chairs and a table, sat to the right and the untouched bed took up nearly the entire wall to the left. Large windows opened up to the Philadelphia city, its lights twinkling and slightly dimmed through the white sheer curtains.

"This is the Park Hyatt. It's not really what I would consider home, but it serves its purpose," she said, with a shrug, as though it weren't the most expensive and prestigious hotel in Philadelphia.

It was nice and on some level he was impressed but human accommodations meant little to him, in most aspects. Such things as bathrooms, beds and kitchens weren't necessary for vampires and served next to no purpose, aside from a prop. He shifted his gaze over to her as she spoke. "Yes, well that's all that counts."

He made a mental note of the decor that adorned her room. Someday, he would find a way to provide her with the taste she seemed used to. He wasn't sure how but he wouldn't subject her to living in squalor on the streets or on the move. She would have a home. A nice one.

He moved over to the bed and took a seat on the soft, cushiony top. It had never been slept it. The comforter was still as crisp and new as if it'd never seen a body to sleep in it. He ran his hand across the top, letting the silky texture caress his finger tips. His gaze drew away from the comforter and went back to Alice.

If she had been able to blush, she surely would have when he chose to sit on the bed, ignoring the couch and two chairs in the room. Smiling to herself, she walked to the window and pulled the curtain aside, looking down at the street below and the crowd of reporters that still swarmed the door.

A smile quirked at the corners of Jasper's lips as Alice moved past him and over to the window. He could feel her mood shift, just as a smile stretched across his own face, before she peeled back the curtain. He lifted an eyebrow in curiosity, studying her pointedly. Her mood was quite distinct: embarrassment. "Alice?" Jasper asked, in a coy tone.

She turned to look at him, her eyes wide at realizing he had not only picked up on her embarrassment but had also guessed it's source. "It's just--well, I've never used the... It's an odd place to sit given that there are two perfectly good chairs and a couch in the room!" She found herself even more flustered by the grin he wore, the mischievous way he looked at her... She had to bite her lip from laughing out of nerves.

Jasper's eyes widened marginally as he realized where she was going. A smile flickered across his face as he shook his head. "Alice, Alice, Alice… Do you think that little of me that I would be so low as to persuade you to partake in something like...that?" He said, unable to actually say the proper word. "I simply sat here. I wasn't insinuating anything of that nature. I apologize, that it came off that way." His words became softer, tinged with nerves.

"No! It's just-- I don't know what I'm trying to say," she sighed. She hated to admit that she didn't really need any persuading. She had just met him this morning! And while there was some sort of unexplainable bond between them, a fated reason for their meeting, she felt almost ashamed at the way she was looking at him now, sitting there with his tousled hair and angel's face…

Jasper's expression turned one of confusion as she dithered about what she was trying to say. He sampled the mood around her to find that she was feeling a mixture of things. Nervousness, joy and guilt. His eyebrows screwed together as he attempted to decipher which one was the strongest. He couldn't deny that he had found himself thinking about her in other ways, but he was far too much of a gentleman to force anything on her. "Alice... what are you trying to say?" Jasper asked, his voice reflecting the confusion on his features.

Her expression became almost pained as she searched for the right words. "It's not that I think you were trying to…insinuate anything. It's all me. I blushed because of my own mind. Because I saw you sitting there and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed because all things considered we're still a man and a woman in a hotel room alone. And because you make me feel things I've never felt before and I don't know what to do with them yet. Does that make sense?"

Jasper laughed quietly and shook his head. "I suppose it makes perfect sense." His eyebrows puckered together, as she faltered in trying to find the right words. He didn't blame her. This was all as new to her as it was too him, but he would never intentionally make her feel uncomfortable and he felt as if he were doing just that. With a small sigh, he changed the subject. "So, how is it that you came to afford such a room?" He asked curiously, a slight smile touching his lips.

"Being able to see the future has many uses," she said, letting the curtain fall back in place. She took a seat across the room from him on the little couch.

"Yes, I imagine it would," Jasper agreed with a light chuckle, watching as Alice let the curtain slip from her fingers and took a seat across the room.

"It not only allows me to meet rather charming and handsome vampires in Philadelphia diners but it has also provided some material indulgences. Unnecessary, perhaps, but if I am to live forever I see no harm in making myself as comfortable as possible."

At her next statement, he ducked his head in chagrin, happy that he couldn't blush because if he were human he probably would have. "That's, um…very kind of you," he amended, lifting his gaze to peer at her through his eyelashes. A smile brushed his expression, as she spoke. "You deserve to live in nothing less." His words were, soft but true. He wouldn't think of allowing her to live in anything of less grandeur. "I can't promise you much." His words became softer, colored with embarrassment at how little he had to offer her compared to this. "But one day, I promise that you'll have everything you want. No matter the lengths I have to go to get it for you."

Deeply touched at his words she found she couldn't stay seated on the couch any longer. She rose and walked over to stand in front of him, reaching out a hand to run through the wild blond locks of his hair. "You're very sweet, thank you. I just need you to be with me. That's all that I want."

He fell quiet as Alice got up from the couch, a sudden swell of nerves rushing through him as she strode across the room and stopped in front of him. He lifted his gaze to level it with hers as she reached out a hand to run it through his hair. He felt a rush run through him at her touch. He moved his gaze across her pale, flawless hand as her fingers became tangled in his hair. "You're quite welcome," he said, returning his gaze back to her gaze. "I don't think I could leave you, Alice. You're stuck with me." A smile touched his lips as he spoke, unable to restrain the joy he felt in her presence.

"I'm not going to complain," she laughed, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him to her chest. "Not ever."

A warm smile touched his lips at her embrace, reflecting the flood of emotion that rushed through him. He reciprocated, accordingly, reaching out with his own arms and wrapping them around her and laid his head against her chest. Her intoxicating scent swirling into his nostrils and out of reflex he pulled in a breath of it.

"Besides I manage well enough for the both of us. My recent bit of fortune is due to investing correctly in the stock market. I think I may stick with that tactic. I've also made quite a bit at casinos," she admitted with a smile. "It doesn't hurt when you're always tipped off to the next card or roll of the dice."

"You're very wise to invest in the stock market," he said with a slight chuckle. "I would probably do the same if I had your special talent of foresight." Still not able to shake the nerves he felt with their sudden closeness he lowered his gaze from hers and cast it across the scarring on his hands. He still couldn't understand what she saw in him and suddenly couldn't shake the feeling of self consciousness.

She followed his gaze and frowned. "Why do you look at them that way? I've seen you do it before, earlier today..."

His gaze moved back up to hers and he shook his head. "I don't know. It's just that going by the reaction of others, I'm going to go out on a limb and say they're hideous. I'm hideous. I guess sometimes I wonder what you see in me…" He fell quiet after that.

Her mouth fell open. "You can't be serious!" She pulled his face away from her chest and grabbed his face in both hands, tilting it back so that he was looking up at her. She met his eyes, her own deeply serious. "That is not what I see. Hideous? Not even if you tried! I wonder if you've ever seen yourself clearly at all!"

Alice's sharp tone surprised him along with her suddenly grabbing his face and pulling it up to look at her. Her eyes were serious and her mood flared. His own expression was shocked as he stared back at her, surprised that she was capable of such an explosion. However his confused frown smoothed out, giving way to a warmer smile. "Well, I'm glad you see me in such a light," he said, with slight admiration for her ferocity.

She reached down and laced her hand through his, holding them up, entwined, for both of them to see. "This, this here, is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

As she took up his hands and entwined their fingers he couldn't help but down cast his gaze to them as she held them up. A rush of emotion he would've never thought possible, up until today anyway, flooded through him as she spoke. Her words were the truth, there was no denying that. He removed his gaze from their entwined fingers and lifted it to hers. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he said, his words quiet but true. He felt chagrin just speaking them and naturally removed his gaze from hers, almost as if he expected her to blow up again.

She sighed and lifted his hand to her face, pressing her lips against it and inhaling the scent of his skin. Opening them she sought out the first scar she saw and kissed it, then another and another, telling him with each one what she could never say with words.

Jasper's gaze shifted to her face as she lifted his hand and pressed her lips against the top of it. He felt his breath catch in his throat, but found that he couldn't take his eyes off of this magnificent creature in front of him. With each soft kiss she placed on his hand, a shiver ran through him.

"Where do we go from here?" he asked, curiosity coloring his tone.

"Well, if we are to find this coven, we'll have to leave the city. That much is certain. And given the fact that every newsperson in a 50 mile radius is currently causing a traffic jam 15 stories below us that would probably be wise. Alice Whitmore doesn't exist, except on paper, and when they find that out they aren't likely to stop trying to uncover the truth. I'd say we leave tonight but I have certain business to take care of in the morning which makes that impossible. Hopefully I will be able to take care of it before the alias Alice Whitmore is proven to be just that...a fiction."

Jasper listened without interruption as Alice ran through the plan. It sounded as if she had it all figured out but he couldn't help but check it out himself. He rose from the bed and moved over to the window, peeling back the curtain with his hand and looking down at the mass of humans below. Alice was right. It was completely swamped. He let the curtain fall back into place, turning to Alice. "What is it that you have to do tomorrow?" he said, his voice turning confused.

"I'm going to withdraw all my funds from the bank and close my account," she explained. "Also, you need some new clothes. The skies tomorrow will be clear so the sun will be out most of the day until later in the afternoon. I'll go then. You should stay here until I get back. We can't risk anyone seeing your eyes with their current color."

He didn't like sticking around with this much attention drawn to them. Someone would be noticed. A sudden wave of panic went through him at the thought of something happening to Alice.

"We shouldn't stick around. We should leave..." There were reservations coloring the panic, he was trying to hide it in his tone. "Alice if we're found out..." His gaze turned pleading. "It could get ugly," he said, finishing his sentence. He could never allow harm to come to her and he would fight whoever he had to in order to ensure her safety.

Jasper removed his gaze from her, nodding mutely as she spoke then sighed. "Alright, tomorrow then. But we shouldn't leave the room until they're cleared out down there. It's not safe."

"I doubt they are going to clear out anytime soon. I don't need to look ahead to the future to see that. They want their story and they aren't going to leave until they get it." She frowned.

Her words caught his attention and as she spoke and lifted his gaze to meet hers, nodding in response. "Yes, I don't suppose they'll be going anywhere for awhile…"

"I plan on leaving and entering the same way we did tonight. When I come back and get you, I'll have a taxi waiting downstairs. We'll leave the city then. I won't even stop by the front desk to check out. We'll just go."

He nodded once again, a slight smile flickering across his face. "I'll be here waiting, of course," he said in hopes that it would ease her nerves. "We'll leave right away. I'll be ready," he said, reaching up and curling his fingers under her chin. "Please, don't worry," he mumbled.

"I'm not worried. Everything will work out fine," she said, smiling as she lifted a finger to tap her temple for emphasis. "I've seen it. And if anything changes, I'll be the first to know and I'll adjust our plans accordingly."

"Good because I don't want you to be worried. Not ever," he said, sweetly. Of course he was sure his own worries were probably unfounded. Alice knew what she was doing. Her power of foresight would give them any warning they needed. "I'm sure things will be fine. I trust you," he said, softly.

"And I trust you…completely," she said, as she pulled his head back to her chest and rested her chin on the top of his head. "I've seen enough of the future to know that. But even beyond that, I saw it the first time that I looked into your eyes."

A smile crossed Jasper's lips as she pulled his head back to her chest. He laid it there, rather comfortably, taking in a small breath of her scent. "Your importance to me is far too precious to take any chances. I've never felt protective like this over someone before. I've never felt as if that someone was my sole purpose for being, as I do you. I would've never thought in all my existence that I would feel the way I do. You have saved me, Alice…" he said, his voice, coming out soft spoken. She had saved him, saved him in more ways than he would've ever thought possible. In her he found solace.

"As you have saved me…from loneliness, from isolation." She ran her hand through his hair again, relishing the feel of it slipping between her fingers like silk.

"Then I suppose, we've saved each other," he said, a smile touching the corners of his lips. Jasper's gaze went to her hand out of habit, watching as her pale, flawless hand slipped through his hair. Another shudder ran through him along with another swell of nerves.

"I've been alone ever since I woke up as a vampire. Three decades may not seem much to an immortal but for me, waiting for you all the while, it seemed an eternity."

A strained smile graced his lips, as she spoke. "Yes, it's seemed like eternity for me, as well," he agreed, quietly. Being here, completely alone with Alice, brought forth a swell of feelings that he fought desperately to push aside. They weren't familiar and in a way they made him nervous to realize he could think in such a manner. It was against his moral code to act as anything but a gentleman. He would open doors for Alice, stand when she left the table, carry things for her, buy her things, but he would never ask her to do any of the things that were currently running through his mind. No, he was much too moral for that.

"Before we leave town are there any things you need to take care of? Any belongings you want to take with you?" she asked.

Jasper lifted his gaze to her, looking up at her through his eye lashes. "No, I don't have any other belongings, except for the clothes that I'm wearing," he said, a frown pulling down at the corners of his mouth. He'd been a nomad, living mostly on the streets and off of the land. He had no home, no money, and no belongings. These clothes were all that he owned. Would she think less of him because of it?

She nodded, expecting as much. "I just thought I'd ask. I didn't want to assume. Most vampires live that way. I seem to be the only one I've ever met still stubbornly clinging to human social norms."

"Your very unique," Jasper said, a smile quirking at the corner of his mouth. "I like that about you. You follow your own path." The words rolled smoothly out of his mouth as he spoke.

She laughed. "We're a funny pair. You want to forget your past. I can't remember mine…"

"We are," he agreed, laughing with her. "I do wish I could help you with that," he said, his expression turning concerned and reached up a hand to trace his fingers along her cheek.

She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. "I woke in a forest outside of Biloxi. That town has to have some significance. Maybe one day I'll go there, try to search for answers… I must have had a family, someone who…" She sighed. "It's only been 28 years. It wouldn't be so long that some of them might still be alive. Not that they could know or I could see them, except maybe from a distance…"

Jasper's gaze fell on Alice as she leaned into his hand. "Perhaps, you and I could go back and look around," he offered. "But you're right, they can't see or know your there. How would you know what to look for though if you can't remember anything, even your last name?" His expression became thoughtful as he attempted to figure out what to do. It would be quite difficult to find answers without knowing where to start first.

She shrugged. "Maybe there's someone that remembers a girl named Alice who went missing? Maybe there's a police report somewhere?" Her eyebrows knitted together, her voice almost childlike. "Someone would have looked for me, wouldn't they?"

I'm sure they would have…" Jasper agreed, drawing his gaze up to see her expression. He sampled the mood around, out of curiosity, trying to gauge what she was feeling. His eyebrows knitted together as well, in reflection of her own.

She smiled slightly, encouraged that he thought so. She had felt alone for so long that until today, until she had found him, she had almost convinced herself that it had always been that way. The thought that someone, somewhere might miss her, might still love her, made her feel comforted.

Her uplifted mood caused him to smile. Her happiness meant everything to him. He couldn't function any other way. Of course a part of him wondered if perhaps her upbeat mood was some sort of an addiction for him. He found himself constantly revolving around the happiness that she exuded, as if it were some kind of magnet that pulled him toward her, just one string apart from the many that were already attached to him to keep him at her side. Her beauty, strength and grace were just a few of the many others.

"Perhaps if we start with Biloxi, we could figure something out. We could maybe check out their courthouse, or local library. Do you think they would have anything in their records?"

"Maybe," she sighed. "But somehow I think it's important to find the others first. They seem to move around often. I don't want to miss our chance to find out what it all means…why they're so important to us."

"Yes, I suppose your right," Jasper agreed. Alice felt strongly about these other vampires, that their own destiny was somehow entwined with this coven. She had seen it so it must be true. And who was he to question her? A smile touched the corners of his mouth before he spoke. "Can you tell where they are now? Or do your visions not show you locations?" he asked, his voice peaked with curiosity.

"I see snow," she said. "And mountains. That's why I think its west. I'm sure things will become more clear."

"Snow," Jasper mused, with a thoughtful look. "Good observation." He agreed with a slight laugh.

"Did you ever go back?" she asked. "To see your family? Maybe to say goodbye, if only from afar?"

Jasper chuckled lightly, yet on the inside he felt a pang of guilt, at her question. "No," he said, simply with a shake of his head. "In my early days, I wasn't in any shape to be around humans, other than as meals of course. Humans meant little to us, except as a form of cattle. Now, if I was raised with your upbringing, maybe. But I wasn't and I most likely wouldn't have been able to control myself in their presence. My family was of the belief that I'd gone missing in action and my body had never been found. It's best I suppose that it remained that way…" he trailed off, softly. "I suppose, I've probably got some form of family still in Texas, somewhere. Perhaps great nieces or nephews, something of that nature. But, I wouldn't even know where to start," he said, with a hint of a smile at the corners of his lips.

"I didn't really have an upbringing so to speak," she said. "I was alone from the moment I opened my eyes to this life until today when you walked into the diner. If it weren't for my visions, I think I would have become a monster."

Jasper frowned slightly at the mention of the word monster. He could never fathom Alice as a monster. She was far too good, too pure to become something of such ugliness. He couldn't speak for himself, however. He'd dealt out enough evil for the two of them; at least that's how he felt in the matter. "You're not a monster, Alice…" His voice came out soft, a hint of disappointment in his tone, that she would even consider it.

"Maybe not," she agreed. "But I so easily could have been…"

"I can understand that," Jasper said, softly. "How did you do it?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow. He couldn't help but feel amazed that Alice had been able to deny herself human blood without some sort of guidance. She had successfully warded off that thirst from day one without any outside influence. He tried to imagine himself in her situation, waking up alone without surrounding influences and he wondered how well he would've fared. Could he have denied his own instincts? He had little faith that he could've had the control necessary to do it.

"I just knew, the same way that I knew about you, that that wasn't what my life was to be. It wasn't easy, especially as a newborn. I was so thirsty. But every time I allowed myself to stalk a victim, right before I made the move to take their life, I would see something of myself in them." She paused, her mind drifting through a series of memories scattered over the years.

Jasper listened intently as Alice spoke, still quite amazed at the amount of control she was able to draw out of herself. He'd dealt with newborns before and most, if not all of them, were wild and uncontrollable. Alice's apparent, if not well earned, immunity to human blood fascinated him. He noticed a pause in her speech and his gaze went to hers. It was distant and seemed to be vacant. "Alice?" he asked, voicing concern.

"I was like them once. I had my life, whatever sort of life it was, taken from me. I couldn't do that to someone else. And my visions told me I didn't have to, that there was another choice."

"You're very lucky that you had your visions," he agreed, a soft smile touching his lips. He reached up to brush his fingers through her hair. The soft, springy pin curls were like silk against his finger tips.

"Would you want to see them, if you could?" she asked, interested to hear his answer as this was something she found she was struggling with herself.

Jasper hesitated in his response, chewing on his bottom lip. "I could never have them see me, of course…because of my eyes," he said, a slight smile touching his lips. "But I think I would like to see them, if it were possible…" he agreed.

"Then we will," she said. "And your eyes don't have to stay that color, if you want…" She was still unsure as to whether he was interested in a lifestyle change. While she had never tasted human blood, she could imagine that animal blood was no real comparison.

"Alice…" he began, pausing briefly to find the words. "Your lifestyle is my own now. I do believe I would follow you anywhere," Jasper said, with a hint of a smile. "I could never ask you to take a human life. That would be immoral of me to do so. So, what other options are there? If we are to be together, then it's only practical that we share the same lifestyle…" Jasper said, trailing off quietly.

She smiled widely. "It will take a few weeks. They'll turn amber first, then a light golden brown." She reached up and lightly traced her fingers down the side of his face. "I think you'll look nice with golden brown eyes. It will complement your hair. In fact, I don't think anyone will notice anything unusual about them. Sometimes people notice mine. They're odd in combination with my black hair."

"I would imagine the animal blood would dilute them? No?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow. Animal blood couldn't be as nutritious as human. So, he supposed it was only natural that he would have to feed more often to draw up the amount of strength he would get out of just one human. As she spoke a slight smile touched his lips. "Hopefully, they won't be too conspicuous. Of course, I doubt they'll be as noticeable as my eyes are now, in their current color," he said, laughing quietly for a moment.

"I would say not," she replied with a smile of her own. "And yes, it dilutes the color and humans find it less shocking. It will make it easier to get around as we travel."

Jasper chuckled lightly, at Alice's response. "I'm sure..." He agreed, slightly shaking his head. "How long do you think it will take me to be safe around humans?" The question was simple enough, but deep down he predicted that the conflict over human blood wouldn't be so easily won. Perhaps, it would take a couple of years. Perhaps, it would take 60 or more. He honestly, couldn't fathom the amount of strength he would need to draw from himself and from Alice, to just simply stand in their presence. Nor did he realize the amount of effort he would have to put forth each day, to keep him from falling.

"I don't know," she whispered, tangling her fingers in his hair again. "I guess it will depend. I'm sure it will get easier over time. And I'll always be there to help you."

"I see nothing wrong with your eyes," he said, truthfully. "In fact, I think they're a nice attribute to your features. Your hair included," he said, smiling faintly.

She reached up and touched that hair now with a frown. "That was another thing that I didn't understand," she said. "My hair." She paused, not fully explaining what she meant but instead turning to catch her reflection in the mirror opposite them.

"Your hair?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow in confusion. "What's wrong with it?" He asked, scanning his gaze over her inky black pin curls, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He saw nothing wrong with it. In fact, it complimented her features.

"You can't see it the way it is now," she said, quietly. "I try to hide it so people don't stare at me any more than they already do. It looks like it was cut off with something blunt at all different lengths. I don't understand it except that maybe I sold it for some reason before—"

Jasper's eyebrows puckered together in confusion, as she spoke. He gave her hair another once over, before returning it to her gaze. "I suppose you hide it well then," he agreed, flickering a slight smile. "But no matter your hair length. I wouldn't have you any other way," he said, softly.

Smiling she pushed him back on the bed and crawled up along his side until she could curl into him, laying her head on his chest. "Well, I'm here," she said, twisting to plant a kiss on the column of his throat. "And I'm not going anywhere."

The surprise of the sudden movement was written across Jasper's face as Alice pushed him down onto the bed. His gaze flew to her as she crawled up next to him and tucked herself into his side. He lay there, frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do or even say. After the initial shock and his frozen state, Jasper found he was able to reach up and slip his arm around her back and traced his fingers contentedly up and down her spine. Another soft, contented sigh escaped his lips, before he shifted his gaze to her. "Yes," he said, softly, letting his gaze linger on her face. "And I could never ask for more," he assured her. The kiss she planted on his throat caused another rush of emotions mixed with nerves to flood through him.

She lay there quietly for a moment before speaking. "Did you ever…love someone? In this life or your human one?"

Her question caught him off guard and he puckered his eyebrows together in thought, contemplation. "As far as I know…" he started, his voice soft. "I never loved anyone in my human life. My memories are quite fuzzy and there are so many things I don't remember so, it's hard to tell. As for this life, no, I've never taken a mate. Maria was probably the closest thing I can think of to one. But even my affections toward her were limited. I never considered her as such..." he said, a fleeting smile, gracing his lips.

She felt herself stiffen involuntarily at the mention of Maria's name. She was the one that had taken his life and had almost stolen the last threads of his humanity with her unrelenting conquests for power and blood. She was why he looked at his scarred hands with such self loathing and thought himself a monster, far removed from the man he had once been. Alice hated her. It was an emotion she had not often felt and the ferocity of it caught even her by surprise. She simply couldn't stand the idea of anyone hurting him.

The sudden eruption of anger caused Jasper to frown slightly. He sighed, quietly and looked over to Alice. He instantly felt guilty for bringing it up. He shouldn't have said anything. The anger and tension that rolled off of her sunk into his flesh and bone. He fought to keep his own emotions in check, so as to not reflect the intense and sudden anger she was exuding. He couldn't pinpoint the exact point that had set her off but she had been content up until he'd mentioned Maria. So, he was assuming it had something to do with her.

She took a deep breath as she tried to calm her emotions. She knew Jasper would have felt her anger and she didn't want to upset him.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just can't bear the thought of all you went through at her hands. But I suppose if it weren't for that you wouldn't be here with me now. And yet I feel guilty. It's selfish of me to be glad to have you here knowing that it wouldn't have been possible without everything that happened to you. I love you but I would gladly give you up if it meant you would have never had to have lived that way, felt so much pain…"

As her anger subsided and became but a faint echo of the intense feeling she'd been exuding earlier, Jasper breathed a sigh of relief and a smile touched his lips. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault," he disagreed. "It was me. I shouldn't have said anything. I was thoughtless," he said, on the verge of one of his trademark apologies. A shy smile touched the corners of his mouth as he spoke. "You shouldn't feel guilty, for anything. It is what it is. It happened and there is no changing it. Getting angry won't help," he said, his voice still remaining soft, thoughtful. "I love you as well and you are by far the best thing that's ever happened to me. So, please don't take this upon yourself."

"No, I asked," she said. "And that was not what made me angry. You say you feel very protective of me. I feel very protective of you as well. So much so that I wish I could go back and erase every unpleasant memory. I want to fix it."

Jasper listened contentedly as Alice spoke, inclining his head in a slight nod as she fell quiet. "I know, but it's something that can't be undone," Jasper said, with an encouraging smile. "Maria is behind me. I try not to think about her and I would prefer not to dampen your mood with her. She's not worth it. It makes me unhappy to see you unhappy, love," Jasper said, in a reassuring tone and let his hand come to rest on her back briefly before trailing his fingers up her back and cupping his hand around the back of her head, gently massaging his fingers into her scalp.

"What ever happened to her?" she asked. She felt a twinge of guilt to admit to herself that she hoped he would say that Maria had been killed by the Volturi.

"I'm not quite sure, actually," Jasper said, hesitantly. He wasn't sure what had happened to Maria, nor did he particularly care. Maria was a part of his past that he'd been trying to forget for years. He'd lost contact with her after leaving her service to join Charlotte and Peter. "I suppose she's still out there somewhere, doing as she she's always done but I try not to think about her," he said in a faintly bitter tone. He blamed Maria for many of the things that had gone wrong in his life. The scars, his lack of control and the emotional void despite the faint conscience he'd been developing in her service, were just a few of the many things that embittered him about her.

"I still wish I could make it go away," she said, sadly.

"I know…" Jasper cooed softly. "What about you?" he asked. "Were you ever in love with someone?"

"No," she said quietly. "I can't say as far as my human life goes, of course. But I would like to think that if someone had loved me I would have never been attacked and left alone in the dark."

"I'm sure someone did," he agreed with an assuring smile. "If you were anything close to as beautiful as you are now, I'm sure you had many suitors."

She laughed at this, turning her face into his chest and squeezing him tightly. Her laughter faded and they laid there in silence, just the occasional movement of their chests as they breathed out of reflex rather than need.

"It's true," he said, his words ringing with sincerity as she turned her face into his chest and squeezed him. The minor pang of nerves he'd been experiencing had all but dissipated. He was completely and totally at ease. Aside from the occasional breath, there were no words, just the silent enjoyment of each other's company.

She nuzzled her head underneath his chin. "I'm going to try to see if I can find them," she said, her voice a mere whisper. "Think very hard about finding them, about wanting to find them and I'll do the same. It will make things easier."

Another smile graced Jasper's lips as she spoke and he nodded and sighed, closing his eyes. "Ok," he said, softly. "Here we go..." He crumpled his eyebrows together in concentration, doing as Alice asked, and tried to concentrate on finding them. "Are you sure this will work?" he asked, interrupting his own thought process, but still kept his eyes closed and continued to gently massage the back of her scalp with his finger tips.

"Ssshhhh!" she said, closing her eyes and putting a hand on his chest where his heart lay silent.

"Alright, fine," Jasper said, sighing quietly.

There was a flash of something and Alice inhaled sharply, trying to catch it as it disappeared. But it was gone and she was left floating in darkness. She squinted her eyes closed even tighter and made the decision to find them, hoping it would allow her to see the outcome, give her some clue...

Alice sucked in a breath and Jasper's eyes flew open and went directly to her. "Alice?" His expression was a mixture of confusion and worry, which matched his tone. He aimed his gaze on her, awaiting answers expectantly. "What is it Alice? What are you seeing?" He asked, out of curiosity. She didn't answer. The complete silence unnerved him. Alice's silence unnerved him. What was she seeing?

She said nothing, afraid to open her eyes or even speak for fear of breaking her concentration. Instead she blindly reached up and placed a hand on the side of Jasper's face to comfort and quiet him. Soon he became still and his concentration deepened.

Suddenly there was snow, bright and blinding, all around her. Snow and trees and mountains and not a human for miles. A wilderness it seemed. Alice stood there as the snow fell around her, feeling the soft flakes caressing her skin.

Someone reached out and took her hand. It was Jasper. She looked up at him and he smiled, squeezing her hand. He pointed past her then, his mouth moving with silent words. She turned and saw a house, set far back into the trees, almost hidden. From human eyes, it surely would have been.

They took off running towards the house and as they approached she saw them. One of the males came out first. His hair was blond like Jasper's but straight and his eyes were kind as he watched their approach. Tucked behind him was a female with brown hair and a heart-shaped face, her eyes warm and welcoming in her pale face and another female, her hair blonde also but her eyes wary.

And suddenly she knew their names. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie… Two were missing. Emmett and Edward. She could see their faces too. Emmett with his dark hair, brawny strength and booming laugh. And Edward with hair like bronze, his eyes touched by a sadness she wanted desperately to smooth away. But most all, she felt love. Love for all of them and an overwhelming sense of peace and homecoming.

Alaska.

That final thought caused her eyes to fly open. She propped herself up on her elbow and peered down into Jasper's face.

"I know where they are now! I found them!" she exclaimed, her voice rushed and excited. "I know where we'll find them!"

Just as quickly as the silence had fallen it had ended. Her eyes flew open and she started screaming. Jasper's waiting expression turned to shock as she bolted up right and began to shout. "What?! Who?!" He asked, the words coming out in a rush. Alice's sudden outburst had caused him to completely panic. His first instinct being that someone was coming. His eyes shot around the room frantically, looking for any sign of an attack and he leapt up out of the bed and took up a defensive crouch in front of Alice, fanning his arms out to his sides, gaze focused on the door. A low, threatening hiss escaped Jasper's lips, his gaze poised and unwavering on the door.

Alice raised herself up on the bed to a sitting position and looked at him as though he had lost his mind. "Jasper! Didn't you hear me? I said I found them! I know where we need to go to find Carlisle!"

Alice spoke, her words flitting through the fog of his mind and tugging on his conscience. He flashed his gaze back to her, his expression hardened and void of emotion. To any other vampire, he would look terrifying. He tilted his head to the left and his expression softened, the gleam of war fading out of his eyes. "Who?" he asked, confused. He straightened up out of his crouch and turned toward her. "Who is Carlisle?" he asked, puckering his brows together. Carlisle. Was it one of the yellow eyed vampires she'd been having a vision about?

Alice reached out her hands for him, beckoning him back toward the bed. "Carlisle is one of them," she said, happiness emanating from her every word. "And there's Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward. I saw them and I felt love, Jasper. I'm going to love them. And they're going to love us, too. They're going to be our family."

Alice's hands pulled Jasper back toward the bed. He took a breath in an attempt to calm himself from the minor mishap. "Sorry, about that," he said, rolling his eyes at his own idiocy, chuckling lightly. Taking a seat next to her, Jasper's gaze turned toward Alice with sheer curiosity as she began to name the others. The happiness that exuded from her was evident and he smiled in chagrin because if he would've taken the time to see that, perhaps, he wouldn't have acted like a fool.

"Family?" Jasper asked. The word family was completely alien to him, a concept so foreign that he had trouble wrapping his mind around it. "These other vampires…have the ability to love?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow. Aside from Alice, no other vampire had ever shown him compassion or love. So, he had not even questioned that it was even a possibility. He'd never considered the possibility that vampires were even capable of such an emotion. It was absurd.

"We love," she said, taking his hand in hers. "Is it so unbelievable?"

Jasper smiled softly, as Alice took his hand. His gaze remained completely on hers.

"Well, it's uncommon..." He said, in a quiet tone. He cast his gaze down from hers as if he were embarrassed about his ignorance. Crumpling his eyebrows together in thought, Jasper spoke. "It's just that… Well, I've never encountered it…" he said, his voice remaining soft. He moved his gaze back to his hand in hers, afraid she might think him an idiot.

Family. Alice wondered at the word, turning it over and over in her mind and absorbing its meaning. It was a concept she understood but had never experienced. The idea thrilled her immensely.

"I've never been part of a family. At least not that I remember anyhow." Her eyes were full of joy at this new idea. "You had one once. Was it nice? It felt nice, in the vision…"

The complete joy that emanated off of her enveloped his senses and crept into his flesh and bone. He slid his gaze upward, peering up at her through his eyelashes. His expression became thoughtful, as if he were trying to remember something. He scanned through the many memories in his mind. Some were quite violent, some were fuzzy. The few that he had clung to as a mortal that were actually clear centered around the war. The memories of his mother were quite dim, almost as if he were watching them through a black veil. His father was a little more clear and, from the few he had of him, he was a good man. Siblings? He assumed he probably had at least one since most families back then consisted of more than one child but he held no memories of one. He opened his mouth to speak, working his lips to utter words. "I suppose my father was a good man…" It was the only thing he could say. The rest was a blank. "He's the only one that I have any clear memories of," he said, frowning slightly.

Alice nodded, considering this. Jasper's vague memories saddened her almost as much as her lack of her own.

The silent wave of sadness that coursed through him caused him to raise an eyebrow, his gaze sliding over to Alice. "Alice?" he asked, frowning slightly in concern. "I'm sorry. Did I say something that upset you?"

"I was just thinking it was sad that you didn't remember more," she said softly. "You had a family, a life then, and to not be able to remember it… Well, I thought maybe you could so finding out that you can't, well, it makes you more like me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"I remember some things. But mostly just the things I've held onto, like my time in the confederacy," Jasper said, with a slight smile. "Most of my memories are hazy or nonexistent. Sometimes, I wonder why I can't remember my own mother more. Maybe, she died when I was child. I don't know. I just know my father's memories are more clear," he said, trailing off into silence, a look forming on his face as though it bothered him in some way. He sighed then shifted his gaze to Alice, tilting his head a little and smiling contently. "You're much too pretty to be so concerned," he said, softly.

"I'm never too anything to not be worried about you," she disagreed, huddling closer into him.

Jasper took a moment to reconsider the word family. The possibility of even becoming part of one was still somewhat of a stretch for him. But Alice believed it. He would follow her, of course. He wasn't one to question a future that seemed so set in stone, but still he couldn't fathom how it could all be plausible that vampires, not just two vampires, but five vampires could live in peace together without getting out of hand. "How is it even possible?" he asked, in amazement.

"I don't know," she said. "I don't have much experience with such things. I'm still relatively young I suppose, when you consider that we can theoretically live forever. And I've met relatively few of our kind." She furrowed her brow. "I've only heard of groups of vampires in relation to the Southern wars and the armies there. Is it generally hard for vampires to live together?"

Jasper played with her fingers absently as she spoke, mentally rolling over her words. "Generally, yes..." Jasper said, a slight fleeting smile flickering to the corner of his mouth. "Most are only together for convenience. There are no bonds, no love. They come and go as they please without attachments. Even mates are made out of convenience, not love. Two, three can live together without much conflict if they're all on the same page, searching for the same things. A large number is unheard of. Most will fight, turn against each other. There is almost always conflict. I lived this first hand with the newborns. So many became casualties at each other's hands. With older vampires, of course, they're a little more cultured but there just isn't a pack mentality. Feeding time can become a frenzy and some will fight or even kill each other over the scent of blood, take each other's meals. Becoming protective over your meal is an instinct. Those that get too close or make an attempt to take what belongs to others, in their own frenzy will have a fight on their hands. Many times it results in the death of the competition. Plus, hunting humans in packs is kind of conspicuous so many choose to hunt alone anyway…" Jasper said, falling silent and returning his gaze to their entwined fingers.

Alice couldn't repress a shiver at the life Jasper described. Could she have lived that way? she wondered. She supposed that without the foresight of her visions, she would have. She had never been more grateful for her visions, for her way of life, than she was in that moment.

Perhaps he shouldn't have been so blunt or forthcoming about his lifestyle. After all, Alice had never experienced it. He was certain it probably horrified her. He noticed her shiver, a rightful reflex. She had a right to be worried and perhaps, he had been too straight forward. "I'm sorry, Alice..." he began, with reservations in his tone. "Perhaps I shouldn't have been so graphic," he said, turning his gaze upon her pleadingly.

"I'm alright," she said, pulling her knees up her chest and wrapping her free arm around them. Her other hand still held Jasper's and she clutched it tightly. "I just can't imagine…living that way. I think I'd be afraid to."

He glanced down at their entwined hands and idly stroked her fingers. Her reassurance gave him little comfort. He wasn't sure if she was really alright or if she was just telling him that to make him feel better. His eyebrows puckered together when she squeezed his hand and his gaze went to her automatically. "You won't have to," Jasper promised. "I won't ever subject you to that," he continued, a hint of determination in his tone. "You don't have to ever be afraid, Alice." A comforting smile touched one corner of his mouth. "You will receive nothing, if not the best. I will make sure to that," he promised, trailing off into silence.

She looked into his eyes and saw the earnestness in them. He meant every word and she couldn't doubt that there was nothing in the world that could hurt her with him by her side. She had never felt more safe, more protected and loved. Surely that was enough to keep even the darkest things of the world at bay.

Sampling her mood, Jasper's smile widened marginally as contentment filtered in mixed with a feeling of safety. She had no cause to be concerned because he had no intentions of letting anything happen to her, ever. He was quite confident, that in his presence nobody would attempt to harm her. His gaze held hers in silence.

She looked at her little hand in his, feeling so small next to him, so delicate even in her vampire strength next to his lean muscled frame. He could truly be terrifying if he wished it. But here, snuggled into his side she felt comforted and secure.

He gazed down at their entwined hands. Her small, flawless one encircled in his larger, marred one. He couldn't help but think about the events leading up to their meeting. It was fate. It must've been. He drew his gaze away from their hands and turned it up to her pixie like features, studying her golden eyes and inky black curls. "You will always be safe with me," He murmured softly, as if answering an unspoken thought.

She looked up to his face and for a moment she didn't move. Her lips parted ever so slightly as though to speak, her eyes boring into his and sparkling with perfect trust. She straightened her legs and shifted her weight so that she was facing him. Gingerly she leaned forward and planted a delicate kiss on his lips.

Jasper's gaze turned expectant as Alice parted her lips to speak. She didn't. However, her eyes spoke magnitudes. She didn't need any words to convey the feelings. She was expressing it loud and clear through her eyes. She trusted him, completely and honestly. A smile crossed Jasper's lips at her unspoken declaration. He would willingly protect her, no questions asked. As she leaned forward, a rush of nerves shot through him, but he found that they weren't as prominent as they had been, previously. Then she pressed her soft, well formed lips to his. The initial contact sent a thrill through him. He sat frozen for a moment, unsure about what to do. Then he began to work his lips against hers.

Alice smiled against his lips as he returned her kiss. Pure joy surged through her as she shifted her body to position herself in his lap, shivering to be enfolded in his strong arms.

The minor shift in Alice's weight registered with Jasper on an unconscious level. However, his mind was currently preoccupied. In an automatic movement, without words or much thought, Jasper removed his hands from the bed and slid them gently up the curves of her petite waist to encircle them around her and pull her closer to him, his lips all the while whispering softly against hers. Her sweet intoxicating scent lit up his senses, causing his head to swim.

She pressed herself as close to him as she possibly could, desperate in that moment to mold herself to him, to feel his arms around her as though he would never let her go again. She had just meant to give him a small kiss, overcome as she had been by his declaration to always keep her safe and protect her and yet now she didn't see how she could stop. She wanted to spend the rest of her eternity kissing him. Before she knew what she was doing she was pushing him back onto the bed, all reason and restraint leaving her as though she had never possessed either one.

A shiver of pleasure rushed through Jasper when Alice pressed herself against him. He felt his breath catch in his throat when she threw herself into the kiss and, to his own surprise, he found that he was throwing himself into it as well. He let go of the nerves that he had been holding back moments earlier and leaned into the kiss, letting the passion simmering just beneath the surface take over. Jasper's back hit the bed with an audible thump when Alice shoved him onto it. Their lips parted only briefly before he quickly found hers and slipped his hands up her waist before encircling them around her back. He barely had time to gather his thoughts but he didn't care to. He was in far too much bliss to think.

"We're together…on the big, scary bed," she mumbled against his lips, laughing softly. "I should stop but I don't know if I can…"

Jasper smiled against her lips, letting slip a small chuckle. "Yes, we are," he mumbled, as a frown erased his smile. "Do you want to stop?" He asked, his eyebrows puckering together. He wouldn't force her to partake in something if she weren't enjoying herself.

She broke away from him, rolling over onto her back with a laugh. "I think that's the wrong question, don't you?" She closed her eyes, afraid to look at him again for fear it would give rise to another loss of self-control.

Jasper eyed her meaningfully with somewhat of an amused grin when she rolled off of him and proceeded to close her eyes. He let out a sigh and slipped his arm around her, gently pulling her close to him and buried his nose in her hair. "Yes, I find my self control is quite…ineffective when dealing with you..." He mumbled into her hair, giving the side of her head a gentle kiss.

"I don't suppose that is an entirely bad thing," she said, laughing.

"No, it's not," he said, a gentle smile, forming on his lips.

A pang of guilt shot through him, which reflected in his gaze. "If you're not comfortable…we can stop," he mumbled.

Feeling his unease, she turned onto her side and looked at him, her eyes wide, her gaze unbreakable.

"You're the empath," she said. "You can feel what I'm feeling. Do you really think my being uncomfortable was the problem?"

A low chuckle emitted from his throat. "Well, I suppose it's probably more related to self control. Of course, I can't sense self control. Just that you were hesitant," he said, unburying his face from her hair briefly to frown. He squeezed her gently with the arm he had wound around her and slid his other hand up to capture her hand and entwine their fingers together.

"I was feeling more than hesitant. I was feeling things I can't even give names to," she said, pressing her hands over her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Chamomile and bergamot overwhelmed her senses and proved less than helpful at regaining her self-restraint so she stopped breathing all together.

Jasper laughed quietly. "Yeah, I can imagine," he agreed, reaching up and brushing the back of his hand down her cheek. "Every emotion inside of me is firing off at once. It's a feeling I can't explain," he said, softly. He took in a breath of her sweet orchid scent and once again felt a rush of pleasure go through him. He turned toward her to see her holding her breath and lifted an eyebrow, a coy smile playing on his lips. "Do I tempt you that much that you have to hold your breath?" he teased.

She bit her lip so as not to smile. "Yes." She peeked at him between her fingers. "I could so easily lose myself when I'm with you. In fact, right now, in this moment, I don't know who I am anymore…"

Jasper's smile widened marginally when he caught her peeking. He lifted one eyebrow when she spoke and let slip a small chuckle. "Your presence is so intoxicating that I find it hard to control myself…" he admitted with chagrin. He trailed his fingers down her cheek and curled them together under her chin.

"Perhaps we need to distract ourselves," she suggested with a laugh.

"Perhaps," Jasper agreed, laughing quietly and sighing contently.

She tilted her head down to kiss his fingertips and sighed. "We were talking of the coven I saw…"

"Oh, yes," he said, with a slight inclination of his head. "They're in Alaska you said. Correct?" Jasper asked, lifting an eyebrow, in curiosity.

"Yes, living together in a house far back in the wilderness," she said, shifting to rest her head on his chest.

"I still just can't believe this," Jasper said, chuckling quietly and shaking his head, a smile creeping onto his face, as she laid her head against her chest.

"Their eyes were yellow, like mine," she commented. "I feed only on animals. I think they must as well. You remark on how unique I am in relation to other vampires. Do you think that abstaining from human blood may temper their moods? Maybe it is what has changed mine?"

He listened quietly as Alice spoke, tilting his head with a slight nod. A thoughtful look formed on his features, his eyebrows knitting together in thought. "I don't know," he said, quietly. "Perhaps, the animal blood tames the senses. You have a point though. I've never seen a new vampire…with the ability to abstain like you have," he said, chuckling lightly, quite impressed.

"What are normal newborns like?" she asked, her expression innocent. "Are they worse than the other ones you've described?"

Alice's question caused him to raise an eyebrow. "Most newborns are wild, blood driven and uncontrollable. Most of the casualties in the army consisted of newborns that had turned on each other. Some of my scars came from the other newborns in my troop. Most of them, however, came from opposing covens," He said, raising their entwined hands up and brushing her cheek with the back of his.

She closed her eyes at his touch and sighed. She brought their clasped hands back down, her eyes once again examining the scars of his past. "Did it hurt very much?" she asked.

A smile flickered across his face, as she spoke. "Oh, yes…very much so," he said, chuckling lightly, as he found it somewhat amusing. "It stung for awhile. The venom, I mean." He said and held up a finger. "Let me show you something."

He didn't wait for a response. Instead, he unwound their fingers and slipped off his coat, gingerly shoving one of his sleeves up to his elbow. The scars marring his hand were connected to a line of scars, moving up his arm crisscrossing together in a raised feather pattern of crescent shaped bites, completely covering the top of his arm and disappearing up under the bunched up sleeve. "They continue up past my shoulder. The largest concentrations of them are on my neck," he said and now that his coat was off, the mass of scars, ravaging his neck were laid out bare. "I thought you should see the extent of them…so that it's not a shock. You know..." he said, with a half hearted smile.

Alice watched from the bed, her eyes wide as he talked so casually about all the pain he had endured. She had guessed that there were more scars than what she had seen earlier. She had seen them disappear below his shirt collar and from his wrists up into his sleeves, hinting at the promise of more. However, seeing the sheer magnitude of them, and knowing that there were more still that she could not see, filled her with a strange mix of awe and wonder. How many vampires had died at his hands? She wondered if every bite equaled a life ended? If so, that would put the number up into the hundreds…maybe even the thousands.

Jasper gauged her moods carefully, constantly sampling to make sure that he wasn't bothering her, or even terrifying her in some way. He would be sure to stop if he was. He was quite surprised to see that her dominant mood was awe and fascination. Arching an eyebrow in curiosity, Jasper smiled. "You're in awe..." It was more a statement then a question. He was quietly surprised that she wasn't turned away by them. Most would be.

She nodded, her eyes still fixed on what he was showing her.

She could never doubt him when he promised that she was safe with him, that he would fight anything and anyone to protect her. Entire armies had fallen under his command, both human and vampire and surely there was no one on this earth to match him.

He watched curiously as she scanned over his scars. She hadn't spoken, but she didn't really need to. The sheer awe in her gaze was enough to tell him that she wasn't scared.

"I'm in awe of you," she whispered. "How could I not be?"

Laughing quietly, Jasper shook his head. "I'm not really used to this kind of reaction, that's all…" Jasper said, casually.

"Were you thinking I would be afraid?" she asked.

"Well, it would be a natural reaction…" Jasper said, with a chuckle.

She shook her head, sure of her heart. "Nothing you could ever show me or tell me about who you are would change the way I feel right now."

Jasper smiled. Her words sent a welcoming warmth through him, a feeling that no words could hardly describe. "You're amazing, you know?" he said, shaking his head lightly with a chuckle.

"No more amazing than you are," she argued, still unable to take her eyes from him.

Jasper laughed quietly and shook his head. "Then we're equally amazing," he said, suppressing a smile at the fact that she was arguing over it. He couldn't help it. It was actually kind of cute.

"I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions. It's just…I've never been able to learn any of this before. There's never been anyone I could ask…"

A casual smile graced his lips as she spoke. "No, need to apologize. It's completely alright," Jasper said, in truth. "Ask me any questions you see fit. I'll be more than happy to answer any of them," he said, his gaze boring into hers as he tentatively picked up her hand, entwining their fingers together. "Don't ever feel afraid to ask me something," he said, quietly.

Alice chewed her lip for a moment in thought. "Why did you leave? You said you grew tired of your way of life during the war? But the way you said it…something happened."

Jasper raised an eyebrow, contemplating Alice's words for a moment before he smiled. "I believe a part of it is because I began developing a conscience. A part of me knew it was wrong, that killing humans was wrong, but I felt like I couldn't stop. I felt guilty on some level, even when I killed others of my own kind. Of course, that didn't stop me from doing it. I may have had reservations but I did what I needed to do to survive. Another part of it was Maria. She'd had me blinded for so long, brainwashed…" he said, frowning slightly, as if the thought of her bothered him.

"In the end, after the fog cleared…I could finally see her for what she really was, what she had turned me into. I'd become this machine, an unstoppable machine, vacant of any feelings. I eliminated my enemies with an assassin's efficiency. I don't know what caused me to grow the conscience, whether I'd just grown tired of it…or if perhaps it'd always been there just dormant. I took up with Peter and Charlotte. Peter was an ex-trainee of mine. I was actually scheduled to kill him but I saw promise in him, so I convinced Maria to let him stay and so he did. He became my second in command. Then came Charlotte, another ex-trainee, who was to die. Peter fell in love with her and he knew that the time was coming for her to be killed to make room for the new batch. They left. I joined them later and we moved up this way, before I broke off from their company…" Jasper said, trailing off.

She looked at the scars on his muscled forearm, her awe tempered with sympathy that he probably didn't want or require. Still, she couldn't help but to feel it for him. He had lived in a world of kill or be killed, a world full of blood and war, a world she couldn't begin to comprehend no matter how many questions she asked or how much he explained.

"I don't think I would have survived there, in that world," she said, quietly, her eyes sad. "I don't think I would have lasted a day."

"It was tough," he agreed, inclining his head slightly. He knew full well if things would've been different and if Alice were to be created into his world, back in his earlier days, he would have killed her without a second thought. He cringed on the inside at the thought, but he wasn't the same vampire as he was now. He wondered though, perhaps he wouldn't have? Perhaps Alice's hold on him would've been just as strong as it had been for Peter with Charlotte. But regardless, he couldn't fathom her being on the battle front. In his eyes, she was defenseless. He could never stand to see something so monstrous happen to her.

"Many vampires lost their bid for survival. It was a time where immortal life was measured in weeks, not centuries. The newborns to us were merely pawns, they meant nothing further. They served their purpose for our war then they were disposed of," he said, with a slight frown, dancing around Alice's comment. He couldn't answer that. He wouldn't. It hurt him too much to think of her in that situation, dying at his hands, no doubt. He suppressed a shudder, as a sickened look overtook his features.

"What is it?" she asked, watching his face contort with pain. The change in his expression was so severe it frightened her to imagine what must have caused it.

Jasper's thoughts snapped back into reality and he caught the urgency in Alice's tone as well as the thick layer of concern in her emotions. "I'm fine," he said, in a rushed tone, an automatic response to weakness.

"Jasper, what's wrong?!" She stood and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you," she whispered into his chest. "It's alright. I'm here."

Jasper's expression smoothed out, just in time to catch Alice in an embrace and draw her close to him, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Its fine…It's ok..." He murmured, soothingly. "I love you, too. I just..." he started but felt a knot tighten in his stomach. "It bothers me too much to think about... I can't fathom it. I can't fathom you being on a battle field, it horrifies me," he said, honestly.

She leaned her head back to look up at him, lifting her hands to run them across the planes of his face as though trying to erase the leftover lines of worry and pain she found there.

Jasper's gaze flickered over her hand briefly as she traced the lines of his face. A smile graced his lips, as the trace of her fingers sent a shiver through him. He closed his eyes, letting her touch sink into his flesh and bone.

"That's not ever going to happen," she said, desperate to reassure him. "You're going to keep me safe, remember? And I believe you. I trust you. I'm safe, right now, here with you. I'll be safe always. I won't ever let anything happen to tear us apart from one another."

Jasper's eyes flew open, when Alice spoke. Sighing softly, he nodded, a gentle smile gracing his lips. "Of course, I could never let anything happen to you, Alice," Jasper said, raising his hand to run his fingers through her inky black curls. "Your safety is my number one focus, bar none," he said softly and curled his fingers against her cheek before tucking back a stray lock of curls behind her ear. The way he looked at her was as if he were staring at something priceless.

She leaned into his hand, closing her eyes and smiling in content. He was calm now. Even if she hadn't seen his face soften, she could feel it in his presence. She didn't possess any empathic abilities but it was as if she could feel him, feel every emotion that burst to life inside him. It was this same connection, and her knowledge of the future they would share, that made it nearly impossible not to give into the passion she felt at every feather light caress of his fingers.

It seemed natural that Alice's every move, every mood, registered with him without much thought. The contentment and pure joy that she felt now caused a new wave of warmth to go through him, so much so that he wanted to hold her forever, never let her go. He wanted her in ways he would've never thought possible. He wanted the feeling he got whenever she touched him. He wanted the closeness. And more than anything, he wanted her presence. As she leaned into his hand, content and happy, he felt an overwhelming bond with her, a bond that would run all the way down to the depths of his soul, a bond that would become too deep to be broken by anyone. A warm smile touched his lips, as he cast his gaze upon her with all the awe of a worshipper looking on their deity.

Once again she pressed herself against him, burying her face in his chest and kneading the fabric of his shirt in her little fists. She felt as though she would never get enough of him, never grow tired of being held there in his arms.

Jasper pulled her into an embrace and enfolded his arms around her like a protective cage as she burrowed into him and fisted his shirt in her hands. He planted a soft kiss on the top of her head and burrowed his own face into the hollow of her neck and shoulder, an overwhelming need to be close to her threatening to overtake him. "Your happiness is everything…" he murmured against her smooth marble skin.

"I am so grateful you walked into that diner today," she breathed. "I knew you were meant to be a part of my life but I never imagined that being here with you could feel like this."

"I am as well. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner," he mumbled against her skin, in a contented tone. He pulled his head back to look at her, a soft smile gracing his lips. "Words cannot describe how I feel…" Jasper said, softly in truth. "I could never see myself anywhere else, except in your company. It just seems unrealistic," he added, reaching up to cup the contours of her smooth marble cheek with his hand.

"Well, I've seen the future, our future, and I will never be anywhere else except with you. I saw us together even centuries from now." She smiled lightly, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "It almost seems too much for anyone to deserve," she said, placing her palm over his forever frozen heart. "An eternity of this, stretching out before us…"

Jasper's gaze went to Alice's hand as she placed her palm over his heart. He smiled warmly, gently redirecting his gaze to hers. The pure happiness in her eyes was hard to misinterpret. "You deserve to be happy, Alice," Jasper said, softly. "Centuries from now, I will still look at you as I do right now." He had no doubts about that. This woman at his side was his only focus. She would always be his only focus.

Light began to filter through the sheer curtains and spill across the carpet. She turned her head toward the window with a frown. Taking his hand she walked with him to it and carefully peered through the gauzy white fabric to the street below.

The sun's light filtered in through the curtains, casting a line of light over Jasper's face and causing the smooth marble texture of his face to erupt in facets. The light also highlighted the scarring on his jaw as the raised area stood in contrast with the rest of his face. As she took his hand, Jasper caught the disappointed look on her face and raised an eyebrow but followed her to the window nonetheless. Unfortunately when they peered through the curtain, the news reporters were still there. Jasper found himself frowning at the sight.

"They're still there," she said, leaning into his side.

"Yeah, I know," Jasper said distastefully, the frown on his face deepening slightly. Jasper automatically slipped his arm around her, when she leaned into his side.

Jasper's gaze lingered on her for a moment before drifting to the swarm of humans outside. They were very determined, that much was obvious. He sighed quietly, enclosing his arm around her Alice and squeezing her close to him.

"I should pack a few things," she said, leaning her head against his arm. Her skin sparkled in the dim light as did Jasper's, throwing a rainbow of colors around them. She turned her head to look up at him, marveling at how he could have possibly become more handsome with his skin shimmering like diamonds cast in marble.

"Yes, I suppose," Jasper said, not really wanting to let her go. He felt reservations about releasing her from his arms. The millions of tiny facets that reflected off of her skin were something to be marveled at indeed. He looked down upon her with the same quiet fascination as he had for her the first day.

Reluctantly she slipped out of his grasp and walked to the closet. Opening it she took out a small blue bag and placed it on the bed before turning back to the clothes hanging on the rack. She selected practical things, reaching in for a coat, a few pairs of slacks and some simple shirts. She frowned slightly when selecting her footwear. Flat shoes. Definitely not what she preferred but she doubted any of her Parisian heels would hold up for the journey.

Jasper reluctantly released her, watching her as she moved with perfect grace over to the closet. He tilted his head in fascination as she meticulously went through each item of clothing, lifting an eyebrow at her complete concentration with the clothes. He mentally noted each movement, as if he were documenting it for future reference. A quiet smile graced his lips, reflecting the complete hold she held on him. He wasn't sure if she saw it or not, but she probably did.

She also took out a suit coat and skirt along with a silk scarf from a drawer, laying it out on the bed to admire it. That would work for her trip to the bank this afternoon.

She looked up and scrutinized Jasper's frame. Walking over to him she grabbed him by the shoulders and eased him down to sit on the bed. "Let's see," she said, turning his collar inside out and looking at the tag so as to make a mental note.

The utter look of confusion on Jasper's face was evident when Alice turned on him, a scrutinizing look in her eyes, as if she were sizing him up. He lifted one eyebrow in confusion as she flitted back to his side and sat him down on the bed. His gaze remained locked on hers as she skimmed her fingers around his collar and peered around to check the tag. "Um, Alice?" He asked, crumpling his eyebrows together in confusion.

She looked down, staring at his lean hips and long legs for a moment before biting her lip and looking way, obviously thinking about far more than clothes.

She then turned her gaze downward toward his hips and legs. Jasper followed her gaze, still a little confused as to what was going on but he didn't protest or press his questions.

"I'd say you're about a 32 waist by a 36 inseam. What's your shoe size?"

He laughed quietly when she spouted off his pants size. He still wasn't sure why she was taking his measurements though the laughing ceased as it slowly dawned on him. She was taking measurements for a reason. He began to laugh nervously. "I um, I don't know… I mean..." he said, with an exasperated sigh and frowned, realizing he wasn't going to win. "I'm a 12," he said, in defeat.

She nodded as though she expected as much, adding this information to her mental list.

The sun had risen now and she moved back to the window, assessing the way it filtered through the sparse clouds with a frown. She let her eyes unfocus and searched her future.

"I think I can go this morning," she said, walking back to the bed and picking up the clothing she had laid out for her errands.

Jasper watched from the bed, as Alice flitted about. His gaze locked on her every movement, unable to take his eyes off of her. When she danced back over to the bed and made her announcement, picking up her clothes. Jasper's eyebrows screwed together in confusion. She was leaving already?

"I had a vision. This morning will work just as well if I stay covered up and keep in the shadows of buildings. I think it will work out better actually."

He smiled encouragingly and nodded in response. "Well, I suppose this morning is as good as any," he said, smiling at her.

"I also saw that the press are getting too close to some truths about me. I haven't been as careful as I should have been. The hotel staff have noticed certain things."

His expression turned worried however when she mentioned the press. "The press?" he asked, a hint of nervousness in his tone. "Do they know anything?" he asked, a contingency plan beginning to form in his mind, if they knew too much.

"The hotel staff told them I rarely leave my room, never order room service," she explained. "It aroused suspicions but nothing is leading them towards our true nature. However, by this afternoon they will have discovered I am using an alias. Things will escalate downstairs. They'll become more desperate to get to us. My good standing as a patron of the hotel is the only reason they haven't been allowed to come up here and beat down the door."

Jasper's expression turned slightly concerned as Alice spoke. It was a problem that they were growing suspicious but the way Alice talked they would be out of there by the morning so hopefully her good standing would hold out until then. His expression smoothed out and a slight smile touched his lips. "We'll be out of here soon enough…and we won't have to worry about it any longer," he said, encouragingly.

She nodded. "I'll be right out," she announced, going into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

He didn't speak, only nodded quietly as she spirited off to the bathroom to most likely change. His gaze lingered after her as she disappeared through the door and closed it with a soft thump.

Once inside she quickly removed her dress, slipping into the long skirt and suit coat which she buttoned up as far as it would go. She then took the scarf and swathed it around her neck and head, hiding as much of her skin as it would allow.

Coming out of the bathroom, she walked to the closet and slipped her feet into a pair of closed toed shoes while grabbing a pair of gloves off a shelf. Once her hands were gloved she reached down and retrieved her umbrella.

She turned to face Jasper as she slid a pair of sunglasses over her golden eyes. "Will you be alright while I'm gone?" she asked.

Jasper's gaze had remained trained on the door waiting for her to come back out, although he never moved from the bed. A warm smile ghosted his lips as she walked back over to the closet and finished dressing and then glided back over to the bed, adorning her perfectly flawless face with the sun glasses.

He tilted his head slightly, lifting an eyebrow, as she turned to face him, her wind chime voice sending a new wave of warmth through him. "Oh, yes. I'll be fine," he agreed and stood, slipping over to the door and opening it for her, in preparation for her departure. She would never have to open another door again. Turning toward her, he chuckled lightly. "Old habits are hard to break. Although, I doubt you'll ever break me of opening doors for you," he said, softly.

"No," she agreed. "Nor would I want to. I find it very sweet." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, closing her eyes and taking a breath of him as though trying to pull the scent of him deep inside her.

Jasper smiled. "Well that's good because unfortunately, it's ingrained…" he teased, inclining his head down to hers and planting a soft kiss on her lips. "Be careful," he murmured against her lips, softly, letting slip a comforting smile.

"I'll be fine," she reassured him. "I've seen it. I should be back before noon. We'll quickly finish packing and then we'll leave."

"Alright," Jasper said, reaching down and entwining his fingers with hers. "I'll be waiting here for when you get back," he assured her and squeezed her hands gently. His expression turned slightly concerned, holding her as he was. He felt some reservations about letting her go. "Are you sure you would rather me stay here?" he asked, frowning slightly.

She stared at him for a moment. It was so tempting to ask him to go with her. But he couldn't. She had secured a coat and hat for him but she didn't have a pair of men's gloves and he couldn't very well wrap one of her Hermes scarves around his head.

He could see the conflict in her eyes, as she looked at him. He caressed her face with his free hand, letting his fingertips trail down the contours of her cheek. He knew he shouldn't have asked. It was obvious that he couldn't go. His eyes alone were difficult enough to conceal. He just found it difficult to let her walk out without him.

"I wouldn't rather," she said, circling her thumb across the back of his hand. "But you have to. You'd be seen if you were to go. I'll be back later with things to make that less likely when we leave."

His gaze fell on her hands watching as her thumb trailed circles across the top of his hand. Once again, he felt a rush from her touch. "I know. I just don't like letting you out of my sight," he admitted. "It worries me," he said, lowering his gaze with chagrin. He turned his gaze up to her once more, a smile threatening at the corners of his mouth. "Hurry back," he mumbled, leaning in and kissing her forehead.

She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against her forehead. As he pulled back she turned her eyes up to him and gave his hand a squeeze. "I'll be back before you have a chance to miss me," she said and slipped out the door.

Jasper stood in the door way as she slipped out and kept his gaze on her until she was out of sight. Then turned back into the room and shut the door behind him. He stood in silence as his gaze took in the empty space which now seemed suddenly like a void. He moved back across the room and slid into one of the chairs in the corner and trained his gaze on the wall. Sitting in silence gave him a chance to mull over his thoughts. Alice dominated them, mostly. He had no problem sitting still. In fact, he could probably sit like that for hours, statue like, unmoving, not even breathing, just completely and totally vacant.