I Felt Hope: An Alice & Jasper Story

by IntoTheTwilightRPG

The story of Alice and Jasper's first meeting all the way up until finding the Cullens. Rated MATURE for a reason. :

9. Chapter 9

9. Inner Demons

The morning light filtered through the curtain breaking in a streak across the bed, a line of which fell across Jasper's face and arm. However, he wasn't asleep and wouldn't have been even if he were capable. No, he was lying contently on his back with Alice nestled in his arms, the tiny diamond facets in their skin set to glittering at the onslaught of the sun. He sighed quietly and turned his gaze to Alice, stroking a hand lazily through her hair.

"You look gorgeous. Even better minus the dress…" he said with a soft smile and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Alice turned her face at the last second so that Jasper's kiss landed on her lips instead. She smiled as she tilted her head back to look at him.

"Smooth talker," she said, accusing him with a playful scowl. She reached down and held up a scrap of blue satin. "Well, I don't think you have to worry about me wearing it again anytime soon," she laughed, kissing him again. "I think you killed it."

A smile crept to his face as his lips connected with hers. He turned toward her, into the kiss and reached up a hand to cup her cheek, smiling warmly as she pulled back to look at him. A chuckle escaped his lips.

"Well, I suppose I did talk your dress right off, didn't I?" he asked, playfully. A bout of carefree laughter escaped him as Alice held up a scrap of her dress. "Well, I suppose tearing it off would be a better term. But I couldn't help it. I was eager," he said, a wide grin spreading across his face. "I'll buy you a new one, I promise," he added, taking up her hand and entwining their fingers.

"It's just a dress," Alice said, watching as his fingers laced through hers. "I can buy a hundred more if I want to. Besides, I'll never want anything more than I want you."

"It was such a nice dress though, I almost feel guilty for destroying it," he said, giving her the once over with his eyes. "Almost."

The rays of light dancing across her skin lit up her arms and legs in a million tiny facets. The glittering caused Jasper to stare in wonder with a loving smile plastered on his face. "You are gorgeous," he said, with all the awe of a worshipper looking upon their god. His eyes drew to hers as he leaned in a pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Alice closed her eyes and smiled as he kissed her. She didn't feel so self conscious this time and made no move to shyly cover herself as she lay there entangled in his arms.

Jasper pulled back to run his fingers lazily through her hair and smiled. "There's a difference in you," he said softly and squeezed his arms around her, hugging her close to him. "You're not nervous. This time," he noted, scanning his gaze over her face. "What changed?" he asked, curiosity in his tone.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, a flare of said nervousness causing her to duck her head. "Before I think, I was just afraid that you would find me…disappointing. I'm not above being self-conscious, you know…"

"Disappointing?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows together. "Why would I find you disappointing? You're perfect, in every way..." he cooed, letting her curls slip through his fingers, before withdrawing his hand and curling his fingers against her cheek before trailing them down her face and curling them under her chin.

She shook her head slightly at his assertion. "But now…" she said, holding her hand out and examining her ring again with a little smile. "When you gave this to me, you decided to keep me forever. And a whole future opened up before my eyes that changed my perspective."

A chuckle escaped his lips as she examined her ring. "It's all yours..." he said, a soft smile quirking at the corners of his mouth. "I'm all yours, forever..." he said, his voice trailing off. "At least, until you send me away..." he added, teasingly.

"Never!" she growled playfully, pressing herself against him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You're quite terrifying..." he cooed. He held her close and pressed a kiss into her hair as she pressed herself against him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

She gazed out the window, following with her eyes the ray of light that shone through it, back across the floor and the sheets, to where it fell across the tangle of their arms and legs. She had seen him lying in the sun like this before under much the same circumstances but it still took her breath away. He was beautiful and he was all hers, an actual dream come to life…

"The sun's up…it's another day," she commented.

"I would say good morning but we didn't sleep..." he teased, shifting his gaze toward the morning light coming through the window.

"Even if we could I don't think we would have," she agreed with a giggle. "We were otherwise occupied…"

Laughing, he smiled. "Yes, sleeping would not have been an issue. Of course with such a lovely creature next to me even if I could, I wouldn't want to."

"Me neither," she agreed. "And if I did, it would only be to dream of you." She reached up to run her hand over his face, closing her eyes as though to memorize it's every line, it's every contour with her fingertips. She smiled as she traced them over the softness of his lips and felt them part ever so slightly.

Jasper's smile widened marginally as she trailed her fingers down his face, the feel of her touch leaving a path of electricity running through the surface of his skin. Jasper smiled as she traced her fingers over his lips and took up that hand with his own, kissing the tips of her fingers. "Sorry, I can't resist," he apologized softly as a coy smile touched the corners of his lips.

Alice gave a contented sigh. "You don't have to apologize to me," she whispered. "You can do whatever you want…" Her voice trailed off as she turned her head to kiss his chest.

"Can I confess something?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow. "When I make love to you…" he began in a soft tone, leveling his gaze on hers intently. "It's almost as if I lose control…" he added, chagrin in his tone, with a slightly nervous laugh. "Your emotions, they're so much stronger when I'm so close to you that it's like this high," he said, with a small smile. "It's hard to explain," he said, his voice trailing off as she slid down and pressed kisses to his chest.

His eyes fluttered shut, soaking up the closeness of her. The intensity of the mood radiating off of her in such close proximity was such that he couldn't help but feel a surge of pleasure. His bottom lip quivered lightly as he reached down and curled his fingers up under her chin, guiding her face back up to his. Without further words he bent down a pressed a soft kiss to each corner of her lips, before pressing one on her lips and letting it linger, as he felt the same rush of excitement flood through him.

The electricity coursing between them was a palpable thing. Alice reached up to twine her fingers in his hair, drawing his face down closer to hers and returning his kiss with a hungry intensity. She broke away from his lips, tilting her head back with a gasp and arching her neck up to meet his mouth. One of her legs moved to drape over his hip in a wicked invitation.

He felt himself plunging deeper into the kiss, as she twined her fingers in his hair. The pull from the electricity between them was too great to ignore, not that he wanted to. The need for her growing stronger, threatening to overtake him as she broke away from the kiss. Her gasp was just catalyst needed to drive him mad with longing as his lips met the soft, supple skin on her neck. He let the desire overtake him as he plunged into it and hungrily kissed her neck, nipping along the length of her exposed throat. One of his hands slipped away from her back and moved up to cradle the back of her head.

"Alice…" he mumbled, pulling away from her throat and quickly finding her lips, working them against hers with undeniable ferocity. His free hand moved down along the contours of her body and curled around her calf, securing it in place as he shifted toward her.

Alice used the leg hitched over his hip to pull him closer to her, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. Her breath came in short, hard gasps against his lips as she gave herself over to him mind, body and soul.

"I don't think I ever want to leave this bed," Alice commented, her head lying against Jasper's chest. She lazily trailed her fingers up and down his abdomen as she curled herself even closer into his side.

"Yes, I'm finding it difficult as well…" he drawled, moving his hand up to cradle the back of her head and smoothing his fingers against her hair.

"You smell like the forest," she said, laughing. "I do, too, actually. I guess that's what happens when you roll around on the ground all night instead of in a bed."

Jasper chuckled at her observation. "Yeah, I know. Rolling around on the forest floor all night will do it," he agreed. "I suppose I should probably get a shower," he said, quietly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Pulling himself up into a sitting position he got out of bed and flashed over to the duffle bag on the floor, holding their clothes. He pulled out a pair of slate grey slacks and a lighter grey button down shirt and breezed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Alice propped herself up on her elbow to watch him go, collapsing back into the bed with a contented sigh as he shut the door. She threw an arm over her eyes, her mouth spreading in a wide smile. She couldn't remember a time when she had ever been so happy and she doubted that even if she could remember her human life that she would be able to say any differently.

She turned her head back in the direction of the bathroom, sending her happy thoughts towards Jasper. She wondered if, even in the bathroom, he could feel it.

The shower was refreshing as the warm water hit his skin and washed away the scent of the forest. His hair was flat and slicked against his skull, darkened by the water as he massaged the shampoo into it. Showers were not normally required because he carried a pleasant scent always but if he wanted to rid himself of the forest smell, a shower in this case was necessary.

The remnants of the shampoo washed out of his hair as he scrubbed himself down, taking away every trace of the forest. He twisted the knob on the shower head and stepped out and grabbed the towel, quickly taking it over his hair and around him to dry himself off.

He dressed with speedy accuracy, first the dark grey slacks then the lighter grey button up. His fingers breezed nimbly through each button until finally tucking it into the trousers.

He stepped out into the room to find Alice still in the bed. "You wouldn't have a comb, would you?" he asked, gesturing to his wild, unruly curly hair.

Alice laughed at his disheveled mop of curls. "In the bag," she said. "Do you think you'll be able to get a comb through it?" she asked, doubtfully, a teasing smile playing around her lips.

"Thanks," he said, breezing over to the bag and digging out the comb before flitting over to the mirror hanging on the wall and flashing his hand around his head in a series of short blurs until the knots were out and his hair was combed. "That's better," he said, putting on a wide smile and turning toward Alice.

"Much," she agreed with an answering smile. "We need to check out," she said, sitting up in the bed and sliding her feet down to the floor. She brought the sheets with her, wrapping them around her like a toga as she walked over to his shoes and picked them up for him.

He nodded in agreement as she approached him, blankets swung around her like a toga. "Very sexy..." he cooed, eyeing her meaningfully.

Alice laughed at his comment. "Would you mind going downstairs and taking care of it?" she asked, handing the shoes to him. "Give them the key and then come back up. If you knock, I'll let you in."

"Do we really need to?" He began in protest, but sighed as she held out his shoes to him. He begrudgingly took them. "Alright, fine," he sighed and slipped on the shoes. "I'll be back," he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek and walking out of the room.

Alice giggled as he left, shutting the door behind him and letting the sheets drop to the floor in a pool around her. Stepping out of them she made her way to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the steam pour out in a thick fog. She had almost joined Jasper during his shower but had thought better of it, certain that it would have easily turned into more than a simple shower given their inability to keep their hands off each other. If Peter and Charlotte were in Canada then they needed to track them down while they still knew where they were.

Jasper rushed down the stairs at a quick human speed, striding across the lobby to the hotel desk. "Hi, we're checking out," he said, slapping the key down on the desk. He didn't even give them time to respond as he spun on his heel. He pressed the elevator button, waiting for the ding before stepping into it and pressing their floor.

Alice stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, taking another off the rack to rub over her spiky hair. The water had washed out the curls and left it standing out every which way, giving her the look of someone who had recently been electrocuted. She sighed at her reflection in the mirror, grateful Jasper was not yet back. She padded out of the bathroom and walked towards their bag to select a pair of gray slacks and a navy button up blouse for herself, laying them out on the bed and dropping her towel.

The doors closed and the elevator started upward, finally coming to a halt. He darted out before they even opened all the way and moved down the hallway at a quick human pace, coming to a halt in front of their door and knocking. "Record time," he noted with a wry smile.

Alice's head darted up at the sound of the knock on the door.

"Jasper?" she called, nervously.

The nervous edge in Alice's tone reached him even through the door. "Alice?" he called through the door. His expression turned worried as he tried the knob. "Alice, are you ok?"

The nervous waves coming through the door only intensified his angst. He could feel his own panic balling up inside of him and never had he been so desperate to get through a door. He felt as if he could bust it down.

"Just a minute!" she answered, quickly slipping into her clothes. She darted towards the door, contemplating making him wait outside while she utilized the curling iron. She shifted her gaze from the door to the bathroom to the door again, unsure of what to do as her apprehension grew.

"Alice! What's wrong?" he yelled, trying the knob again. "Alice, open the door or I'm going to break it down!" he threatened, panicked that she was in trouble. As the tension grew on the other side, he felt his own panic threatening to consume him. "Alice! What's going on? Are you ok?" he yelled.

Afraid he meant to make good on his threat to break down the door, she quickly opened it and turned away from him, folding her arms tightly over her chest and walking back towards the bed.

Jasper was just about ready to rip the door off of the hinges when it swung open. "Alice? Are you ok?" he asked, concern coloring his tone. She then turned away from him, crossing her arms and headed toward the bed.

She sat down and curled her legs up in front of her, placing her knees under her chin and ducking her head, wishing for all the world that she could simply disappear. She had hoped she would have been able to keep him from seeing her this way indefinitely. Perhaps it had been silly of her to think she could, she thought miserably.

"Alice?" He could sense something was wrong. She was ashamed. "Alice, what is it?" he asked gently and moved across the room to her. It unnerved him that she wouldn't face him nor even speak to him. Perhaps if he would've taken a closer look he would've noticed her choppy, uneven hair but his only concern was her.

Alice rocked back and forth slightly, the movement oddly comforting and familiar as though she'd done it a hundred times even though she couldn't remember having ever done it before. She waited for him to speak as she stared at the floor, her tiny frame trembling with the sobs she fought to keep at bay.

"Alice?" His voice remained even, steady and unwavering as he took a seat next to her. His concern became a mixture of confusion as he reached over and took her hand.

She shook her head fiercely in response, not saying anything, keeping her eyes averted from his face. Her hand in his was limp and unmoving as she raised her other to gingerly touch her fingers to the shock of her black hair, the choppy and crudely cut layers sticking out in every direction. Her fingertips unfailingly found one of the places where it was shorter than it was elsewhere, her scalp underneath marked with a round, ugly scar.

Jasper squeezed her hand gently, trying to comfort her. As he sampled the mood around her he could still feel the fear and nervous tinge. Jasper's gaze fell on her hair as his head cocked to the side and studied it. As her shaky hand worked through her hair a realization dawned on him. His gaze scanned over the choppy, uneven layers and a sense of sadness swelled in him. That was why Alice had always curled it, to hide the hair cut. As her hands smoothed over an area of hair that was considerably shorter than the rest, Jasper's gaze fell on what he could see of her face. She was ashamed.

"I didn't want you to see this…" she finally said, her voice so small it was almost inaudible even to vampire ears. She rested her head on her knees, her face turned to the side and away from him and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Did you think I would view you differently?" he asked, his voice soft yet hurt. He had honestly not even noticed it. Not even when it was right there in front of him. He had seen only her. "Alice…" he said his tone soft and compassionate. Jasper reached over and stroked his fingers through her hair.

Alice cringed ever so slightly when she felt Jasper's hands sift through her hair. "No," she sniffed. "Maybe. I don't know."

"Why would you think that?" Jasper asked, somewhat hurt that she would assume he would view her any differently.

Alice shrugged her shoulders pitifully, still avoiding his eyes.

He studied her quietly, keeping his gaze locked on her face, when she shrugged feebly. His fingers came in contact with the scar. A wave of confusion over took his features as he probed the spot on the back of her head. He frowned slightly, as a new revelation dawned on him, a knot twisting in his stomach as he once again looked over the choppy hair cut and the scar. The prominent, rough scar could've only come from a very bad burn. He delved into his knowledge. Burns only came from a couple of things, fire and electricity. He tentatively pulled his hand away, trying to quell the shaking anger that ripped through him. He balled it into a fist and kneaded it into his slacks, his fingers clinging to the top of his leg.

Alice felt Jasper's hand pull away when he felt the scar. She moved her hand to cover it completely, wishing her hand was big enough to cover the other one visible to him above her right ear. The one above her left was still hidden as she continued to rest her head on her knees, her face still turned towards the wall.

The self conscious way in which Alice smoothed her hand over the scar to cover it, sent a pang of sadness through him. "Alice..." he mumbled, sympathetic and reached to take her other hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. However his eyes caught the second scar above her right ear, exposed under her hair. His mind went to work as he examined the burn scars and the choppy hair cut, frowning slightly as he wondered what could've possibly happened to her.

At the sound of her name on his lips, a sob broke forth and then another one until she couldn't help herself and a torrent of them shook her tiny body. She took her hands out of Jasper's and hugged them back around her knees feeling as though if she didn't try to hold herself together that way she'd fall apart completely.

"Hey, hey…" he said softly, watching as she pulled her hands away and hugged them around her knees. The sobs tore through him, causing him to frown in reaction to her pain. He pulled himself closer to her and pulled her into a hug, enclosing his arms around her and cradling her head against his chest, releasing a layer of calming influence to soothe her. "Shhh…it's ok..." he cooed.

Alice allowed him to pull her into him, shifting her weight so that she could crawl into his lap. She balled her hands into his shirt, clinging to him desperately.

Jasper pulled her close, letting her onto his lap. "It's alright…" he said in a soft voice and kissed her hair as she balled his shirt up in her fists, clinging to him.

"I just wish I remembered…" she said, her voice shaking as much as the rest of her. "I just wish I knew why…"

"Shhh…calm down..." he cooed. "We'll figure it out. You're ok, you're safe…I promise..."

The fog of his influence washed over her and her sobs grew more quiet until finally they stopped altogether. She turned her face into his shirtfront and took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. His gift made her muscles relax, lulling her into calm as she nestled into his chest, curling up into a little ball against him.

"You had me worried, there," he said, continually trailing his fingers down her back. "It's ok darlin'…" he mumbled softly and pressed another kiss to her hair. Jasper decided to branch out with his gift, tweaking his calming influence and created a happy atmosphere in the room. Normally, creating false atmospheres wasn't something he practiced, but in this instance he decided it was appropriate.

A tingly feeling spread throughout her body, strange and bubbly. An unnatural giggle escaped her lips and her eyes went wide at the sound. Why should she be laughing, she wondered? What could she possibly find funny about this? But there it was again, the desire to laugh as the tingling spread down through her arms and legs, into even her fingers and toes. And then she realized what it was. He was making her feel happy. She stifled another giggle in his shirt.

"That's not fair you know," she said with a smile. "But very welcome all the same…"

A quiet, accomplished smile touched his lips as Alice's mood shifted to happy and bubbly. "No, not really..." he agreed as she pressed her face into his shirt and stifled a muffled giggle. "Normally, I try not to use it to manipulate the atmosphere but there's always an exception to the rule and this was one of them," he noted.

Alice nodded in agreement. She was grateful he had done that and kept her from making a fool of herself.

"We need to leave before housekeeping comes to turn over the room," she said simply, slipping out of his lap. She fingers fluttered up to her hair as she chanced a look at him before turning around and heading toward the bathroom. "I'll be out in a moment."

Jasper nodded simply as she slid off of his lap. "Yeah," he said, taking a look around. "We should probably pick up..." he said, lifting up a scrap of dress off of the bed and pinched it between his thumb and index finger. "A lot of cleaning up..."

Scraps of clothing littered the bed and floor surrounding it. Catching Alice's face before she turned toward the bathroom Jasper gave her a soft smile as he slid off of the bed and blurred around picking up the scraps of clothing.

Alice shut the bathroom door behind her and walked over to the mirror. She reached over and picked up the curling iron before looking up at her reflection. She made a decision in that moment. This was the last time she'd ever do this. She just needed to make a stop before they left town. But first, they were going to visit the mafia.

Even with her foresight, visiting the mafia was one of the last things she had ever seen herself doing. Whether it was the ridiculous nature of the situation or some of Jasper's leftover happiness still floating through her she didn't know but she couldn't help but smile at the thought.

An idea came to her as she worked her fingers through her hair, quickly grabbing the choppy layers and taming them into soft curls. If Jasper could use his gift to manipulate emotions, perhaps he could use it to ensure things went well with their little errand?

Alice finished and examined herself in the mirror. She looked like the version of herself she was used to presenting to the world, hair perfectly in place, scars hidden once again. Opening the door she found Jasper picking up the torn scraps of their clothing.

"You can just leave those," she said. "After the way we came up here yesterday I don't think anyone will expect anything less." She laughed, moving over to him and wrapping her arms around him.

Jasper turned toward her with an armful of scraps. "Just thought I'd be helpful…" he said. "Of course, you're probably right. I doubt they'll be surprised. Especially with the amount of noise we made last night..." he added with chagrin.

Alice ducked her head with a slight laugh. "There's that as well," she admitted.

"Yes, that was interesting…" he said. "Then again this morning," he added, laughing.

"Well, I don't see how I can be expected to resist," she replied with a sly smile. "Not when you look at me the way you do, or touch me like that..."

"Yes, I'm finding resisting difficult myself," he said, slipping a coy smile. "Your touch just about drives me wild, to say the least," he said, chuckling.

Without further thought he let them all drop and let her embrace him, slipping his own arms around her and pulling her close to him. "You look beautiful. As always…" he observed with a quiet smile and kissed her cheek, careful not to mess up her hair.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "For being so understanding and accepting. I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. We don't need to talk about it anymore."

"Well, understanding is my job description. Besides, what kind of an empath would I be if I weren't?" he asked softly. "You don't have to apologize…" he said, pulling back momentarily to study her gaze. "Whenever you need to talk…I'm here," he said, unwinding one of his arms from around her and caressed the back of his hand against her cheek.

She shook her head. "No, I don't want to talk about it," she said quietly. "It's fine."

"Alright," he agreed. "The offer is there, if you choose…" he said quietly and left it at that.

She unwound her arms from him and walked over to pick up their travel bag, purposefully leaving the curling iron in the bathroom. She wasn't going to need it anymore.

He was of course right behind her when she moved to grab the bag and flashed his hand out. "May I?" he asked, nodding toward the bag. "A lady should never have to carry anything."

Shaking her head with a laugh she handed the bag over to him.

"Thank you, Mrs. Whitlock," he said, taking the bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"I love you," she said, smiling softly. She reached up to adjust his collar, trailing her fingertips down his chest as her smile grew.

"I love you, too…" he said with an adoring smile. He couldn't help but chuckle when she straightened his collar and let her finger tips trail down his chest, the sensation so powerful that he could feel it through the fabric. He sighed softly, a warm smile growing on his face.

"So…I believe we have an appointment with the mafia to keep?"

"Yes…" he said quietly, distracted by her fingers on his chest. It took everything he had not to pull her into a kiss. He sucked in a breath and tore his gaze off of her fingertips, readjusting it on her gaze. "And we should keep that appointment," he said.

"Especially since right now I'm half tempted to shove you back down on that bed," she said with a giggle. "And this is no longer our room..."

"Well, we could have one more for the road…" he mused softly and glanced toward the bed. "'Course, we really should get going."

"Yes," Alice sighed, her expression one of regret. "I think we'd have a hard time explaining ourselves to the maid service and they should be here soon..."

"Cheer up, darlin'…" Jasper said with a comforting smile. "We'll have other opportunities," he added with a sly smile.

Alice laughed, shyly looking away with a demure smile.

"Did I embarrass you?" he asked with a slightly coy smile.

"No," she said, still smiling. "It's just...you..."

"Well, thank you," Jasper said with a kind smile.

He turned with that and got the door for her, gesturing with his hand. "Ma'am…" he said with teasing smile. "After you," he added softly.

Alice laughed, breezing out into the hallway and heading for the elevator. She pushed the down button and, when the doors opened, walked inside, turned and waited for Jasper.

With luggage in tow, Jasper shut the door behind them and breezed out into the hallway after her and joined her in the elevator.

She looked up at him with a quiet smile. Strangely, he felt almost glad that he had seen her hair, had seen the scars... It was nice to let someone in, to have someone know the truth about her, as much as she knew, and still love and accept her anyway. Instead of thanking him again out loud, she simply slipped her arm through his and hugged him close to her, leaning her head against his arm.

The smile she gave him when he caught her gaze spoke volumes. The mood swirling around her sent a shiver through him. She was content and happy, happy even when she slipped her arm through his and laid her head against his arm. He couldn't stop himself from bringing up his hand and stroking his fingers lazily through her hair. When the elevator doors opened, Jasper still form came back to life. "Shall we?" he asked in the same tone he'd asked her many times before.

Alice nodded, tilting her head up to look at him. She still had her arm wrapped around his, still leaning into him, beaming up at him with a happy smile. She couldn't bring herself to tear her gaze away as they walked across the lobby and out the front door of the hotel.

They must've looked like the picturesque couple, Alice beaming up at him happily and tucked into his side, with his arm securely wrapped around her lovingly, as they practically glided across the lobby and to the front door. Jasper moved ahead of her and opened the door, letting Alice breeze past him before following her out onto the paved walkway, in the front of the hotel and gingerly slipped her arm back through his own.

The sky outside was overcast, the sunlight barely filtering through the clouds, such a change from that morning when the sun had streamed in bright through their window. The wind caught Alice's coat as they walked, stirring it up behind her, the ominous looking clouds promising rain.

The light filtering in from this morning was gone, nothing but a faint memory as the few shards of light feebly attempted to make themselves known. They'd gotten so caught up in each other that they had lost track of time. It simply amazed him how quickly the weather had changed from earlier. The short gust of wind blowing caught exposed strands of his honey gold hair, causing them to quiver against the wind. "Looks like rain…" he mumbled, lifting his gaze up toward the clouds.

Alice nodded. "Yes, it does. And it will, a few hours from now. I was silly and left my umbrella back in Philadelphia. I suppose we had better buy one so we don't look out of place later. We'll stop somewhere on our way. I have something else I want to get as well."

"We'll grab one before it rains," Jasper said, smiling slightly. "What do you need to get?" he asked slightly confused and cocked his head to the side.

"Scissors," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh…" he said simply, nodding. "Whatever for?" he asked.

She shrugged. "My hair."

Afternoon was quickly turning into evening as they walked down the street. Alice looked around them at the people passing by, most of whom were men that looked as though they were going home from a day at the office...probably to wives and children. Alice's golden eyes took them in, a faint smile curving her lips as she imagined what those lives might be like. So fascinating...

His gaze dropped back down to Alice just in time to catch her longing looks toward the humans passing by them. He felt a pang of guilt, watching each and every one of her fascinated stares. They were probably going home to their families. Children were something Jasper could never give Alice and that in itself made him feel guilty. As the humans passed, their scents swirled around him as a product of the wind, causing his throat to tighten and tinge of hunger sparking in his eyes as he himself focused his gaze on each one of them. Alice's grounding presence was the only thing that kept him from exposing them both.

"What do you think your human life would have been like if you hadn't been changed?" she asked, her tone thoughtful. "What would you have done after the war?"

Alice's words brought him out of his fixation, breaking his concentration as he reluctantly withdrew his gaze from them and turned it down to her. "Well, I suppose I would've married and had children, as was the tradition back then…" he noted, trying to envision what his life would've been like after the war. "Probably would've run for town marshal and owned my own cattle ranch with ranch hands to help man it. Maybe, horses…" he mused, with a quiet smile. "Persimmon trees in the orchard and nice ranch house in the valley, preferably around Aqua Dulce. I was ambitious enough, and charismatic, that I probably would've been elected. After all, towns were in desperate need of law enforcement," he said, his voice an echo of the past as he spoke. "It wasn't an easy job. It had a very high risk for being shot… Which is why not very many people were willing to take it on. But I think I could've done it and retired on my ranch in the valley, bouncing grandkids on my knee and telling them stories about my time in the confederacy..." He trailed off with a quiet sigh and let his gaze return to the present, away from a time already passed, something he'd never have the chance to experience and in a way, he still felt a lingering bitterness because of it.

Alice listened attentively to his musings as he dreamed up a life he would never have. She sighed wistfully as his words painted beautiful pictures in her mind. The wife he married would not have been her and yet she couldn't help but envision herself there, standing next to him on a front porch watching children play or years later reaching up to sweep a graying lock of curls off his wrinkled forehead, his skin tan and weathered with hard work and laugh lines.

"It sounds lovely," she whispered, smiling softly.

"Yeah…" he agreed in a slightly saddened tone. "It does, doesn't it?" he added with a feeble smile.

"I think I may have married, too, eventually," she said. "Or maybe I did and I just don't remember..."

"I can't see how you wouldn't have been. You're dazzling."

"Hmmm," she said, considering it, playfulness in her face. "I wonder if he missed me. How sad that I don't remember him..."

"Sometimes I wonder what life would've been like if you would've lived in my time…if neither of us would've been turned. I almost certainly would've secured your hand," he said turning a smile down on her.

"And I most certainly would have said yes," she said with a giggle, squeezing his arm and leaning her head against his shoulder again. "I would have loved the life you described and I would have made sure I was the perfect little wife for you. I would have taken care of you and learned to cook and I would have sat on your lap and kissed you after a rough day. And I would have loved watching our children grow up and our grandchildren..." She sighed.

"You would've been the perfect wife," he said with a pleased grin, listening as she daydreamed about what would have been. Or more like, what should have been. "I'm sure you would've been an excellent cook, the best little cook in Texas. Perhaps we could've opened a cafe in Aqua Dulce. Alice's Place…" he said, smiling whimsically.

Alice laughed at the idea, enjoying Jasper's dreaming and snuggling up next to him as they walked.

"I would've enjoyed your kisses every evening. After a long day, it would've been like a breath of fresh air to come home to you and our children and watching them grow, then our grand children..." he said, smiling lovingly.

The pure thought of he and Alice having a life together in the human world was, by all means, far-fetched. But, he couldn't help but wish that it could've been within reach. His wistful smile faded as he returned to the present.

Alice blinked against tears she would never be able to cry at the image in her mind.

The pang of sadness she felt reached him in waves, coursing through his body and sending a pang of sadness through him to reflect hers. "Alice, what is it?" he asked, confusion coloring his tone.

"It just would have been nice, that's all," she said quietly.

"Yes, its picture perfect, isn't it?" he asked chuckling.

Finally she sighed and smiled, deciding to lighten the mood.

"But I suppose it's a good thing we're here now. I was born much later than you and if we hadn't become vampires we most likely wouldn't have met. Or if we had, you would have been old enough to have been my grandfather!" She laughed and pinched him playfully, letting go of his arm to skip ahead of him a few steps before turning back to give him an impish smile.

He broke into laughter when she gave him the other alternative. "Yes, I would've been quite old by the time you were born…" he mused, chuckling. "Ow!" he yelled, when she pinched him. He chuckle, as she let him go and moved ahead. Her beauty was absolutely remarkable and her carefree movements would've taken his breath away, if he had breath.

She was about to skip back to him when her eyes went blank as well as her expression, her body freezing in place.

He was at her side in a flash. "Alice? What is it?" he asked, his gaze intently fixed on hers.

She reached out and grasped one of his hands. "Esme," she whispered. "I saw her. She becomes your favorite really. She's always so peaceful, so serene… You gravitate toward her because her moods are so lovely."

Her words brought comfort to him in explaining her vision. "Esme..." he mused, simply nodding. "Is that so?" he asked, chuckling. "Esme becomes my favorite?"

"Yes." Alice frowned. "She lost a child, a little baby… Her heart was so broken she threw herself off a cliff." She turned her eyes up to Jasper. "Carlisle saved her, too. He saved her because he loved her."

A wave of sadness rushed through him. "Wow…" He whispered. "I don't know what to say... That's awful…" There were very few words to describe what she had gone through. Carlisle must be a good man," he mumbled, in reverence.

"He seems to be," she agreed, tilting her head to the side. "Not like most vampires I've encountered or the ones which you've described."

"Until I met you, I'd never heard of such a vampire. One who has compassion for others..." he said with an attentive smile.

"You mean me?" she asked, her eyebrows shooting up. "I'm just being myself, who I always was. Or at least I think I am," she said, her expression turning thoughtful. "Myself as a vampire anyway," she clarified.

A laugh escaped Jasper's lips. "Yes, your quite…interesting, to say the least," he said, with a smile curving his lips. "But in a good way…" he added.

Alice giggled. "Esme is very compassionate as well. She still feels sadness over the loss of her child but she gets a whole new family in us, though. You and me and the others…we're all her children." Alice smiled. "I've never had a mother that I remember…" she mused. "I think I should like one."

"Her children…" Jasper mused, smiling softly. "The memories of my own mother are dim," he murmured, almost too low for Alice to hear. "A mother would be a totally new concept."

"Someone else besides me to hen-peck you?" she asked, a smile curving her lips.

Jasper chuckled in response and shook his head, pressing his lips into a thin line to hide the amused smile trying to form. "Hen-peck?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow. "I'm sure by then I'll be quite used to it so being bossed around will be second nature," he teased.

"Oh yes, you are so mistreated!" she said with a laugh, lifting a finger to poke his cheek. "It's absolutely criminal!"

"It is criminal," he laughed. "Sometimes, I feel as if my will isn't my own," he teased.

They rounded a corner and there, standing under a newly lit streetlamp, was a man in a suit leaning against a building. If he were trying to look nonchalant, he was failing miserably.

"Speaking of criminal…" Alice said, tugging at Jasper's sleeve. "That would be Antonio."

"Is that him?" Jasper whispered, moving his gaze to Alice. The man was dressed in a tailored made, pin striped suit and shoes of high quality Italian leather.

Alice nodded. "Yes, that is exactly the man I saw in my vision."

Jasper nodded once, in response.

A smile made its way to Jasper's lips, as they approached. "Antonio?" he asked, subtly hugging Alice closer to him in a protective manner.

Antonio looked up, eyeing the two of them warily. "Who wants to know?" he asked, his voice gruff. You never could be too careful, he thought. Cops were getting real creative these days with their undercover sting operations.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock," he replied, flashing out a hand to shake Antonio's. "This is my wife, Alice," he said, in an all business tone and nodded toward her. "We need to have some documents made up. Who might we go to for those?" he asked eyeing him expectantly with a faint, cool smile.

Antonio looked them over, his eyes lingering on the woman introduced as Alice for longer than was entirely appropriate, looking her up and down with an appreciative grin.

Jasper's flickered between the two of them. His eyes darkened ever so slightly, when he turned his gaze back on Antonio. "It's not polite to stare," he interrupted. "Perhaps, I wasn't clear enough," he added, straining a smile. "She's my wife," he indicated.

Antonio chuckled leaning back against the lamp post. "Lucky man," he mumbled.

"I think so," Jasper replied proudly and beamed down at Alice. "She's quite special."

Alice smiled back pleasantly despite the insulting thoroughness of the man's gaze. She did, however, shrink slightly into Jasper's embrace in an attempt to remove herself from view.

Jasper removed his gaze from Antonio and hugged her closer, reaching up to cradle her head, against his chest with his hand.

"You kids in trouble or something?" Antonio asked, taking out a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his jacket and lighting one. He placed it between his lips before turning back to them. "Smoke?" he asked, offering the pack to Jasper.

"Trouble?" Jasper scoffed, with a slight smile curving his lips. "I believe that's our business," he stated, serious again. Inclining his head slightly toward the pack of cigarettes, Jasper smirked. "No, thank you. I don't smoke," he replied, his gaze flashing to Alice briefly.

"Alright, here's the deal," Antonio said, shoving away from the lamp post and walking over to where they stood. "You don't appear to be a cop and if you are, well, you have an awful nice looking prop," he said, leering at Alice again.

Jasper lifted an eyebrow as Antonio shoved away from the post. "Cop? No," Jasper replied thoughtfully. However, his mood quickly soured when Antonio regarded Alice as a prop. He reached out a hand a placed it on his shoulder. "That was disrespectful. She's not a prop. She's my wife. Treat her as such. Nothing less," he said calmly. However there was a mild threatening tone to his voice. He would not tolerate it. He retracted his hand but the glare didn't leave his face.

Alice gave Jasper a squeeze to serve as a silent warning. She could feel he was close to losing his temper and they hadn't hunted recently. She shivered at the potential consequences should Jasper lose control.

Jasper took the warning in silence and nodded in response to let her know he was fine. Not having hunted had its drawbacks such as making it more difficult to keep control. He couldn't deny the man had appeal as a meal. In return, his mind raced with every dark scenario he could think of. His throat tightened in response to the triggered thoughts but being outside helped in spreading out the scent and lessening the draw.

Antonio glanced down at his shoulder where the man had grabbed him, his smile growing even wider, clearly the short of person who enjoyed it when he got under people's skin. "I tell you what… I'm going to do you kids a favor. I normally don't send people this route that just show up asking about such things but you seem like good people. What you need to do is go down to a nightclub called Lenny's. It's about three blocks from here," he said pointing in the appropriate direction. "You wanna talk to Lenny himself. He can get you what you need, okay?"

Alice nodded, glad to be away from this man and the way his eyes roved over her.

"I'll let Lenny know you're coming. And hey, I'd be careful if I were you," Antonio said, making a show of brushing off the shoulder of his suit. "Lenny isn't as polite as I am, especially in the face of disrespect."

"Thank you," Jasper drawled with a simple smile. "Would leering at some else's wife be considered disrespect?" Jasper asked, regarding his remark. Eyeing him with an expectant gaze, Jasper waited for a response.

Antonio frowned. "This isn't a place I'd bring my wife," he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Neither is Lenny's..."

"Despite my objections she insisted that she come," he replied, glancing at Alice, as a wry smile quirked his lips. "She's very persuasive," he added softly and returned his gaze to Antonio.

Antonio's brow furrowed in confusion. "That's an odd broad you got there," he commented with a frown. "I mean, not to say I wouldn't bring a woman there, just not that...sort." He grinned from ear to ear, the slyness of his smile clearly indicating what sort of woman he meant.

"I see," Jasper said, with a nod, pursing his lips and knitting his eyebrows together thoughtfully. "Well as a southern gentleman I was raised differently than that," he stated, with genial smile.

"I bet you were," Antonio said with a sarcastic smile.

"Of course," Jasper said, picking up on the sarcasm but choosing to ignore it. "With all due respect, sir, where I come from, women are top priority and are to be treated with the utmost respect and protected. I was raised to open doors for them, stand when they leave the table and above all else, never argue and always be faithful," he finished, with a satisfied smile.

Antonio threw back his head and let loose a laugh. "Lady, I don't know where you found this guy but I hope you hang onto him." He shook his head. "Southern gentleman, eh? Now I've seen everything."

"That's right," Jasper said, as a smile curved his lips and angled his gaze down toward Alice, briefly.

Alice tilted her head to look up at Jasper, her expression serious. She turned toward Antonio, nodding in acknowledgement, before pulling Jasper down the street.

Jasper met her gaze with a loving smile and squeezed his arm around her in reassurance. Giving Antonio one last glance he turned with Alice and started off down the street.

"I'll be glad when this is over with," Alice whispered when they were around the corner.

"Me, as well," he agreed with a quick nod.

"I don't like these men even in my visions much less in real life." She drew closer into Jasper's side as they walked.

"Does it sound odd that I do?" he asked with a gentle laugh. "I find that I can relate to them on some level. Even if they are disrespectful to women, which is intolerable on any level," he said as Alice drew in closer. He glanced down at her with another loving smile and kissed the top of her head. "Always respect the ladies…" he commented.

"What is it you find relatable?" Alice asked, her eyebrows knitting together. "You're nothing like them..."

"Not anymore," Jasper replied, casually. "But, at one time, I was like them. In a way," he explained. "I suppose I can relate to them because, like them, I was a middle man. Maria's service was much like their mafia. I was a fighter, an assassin, much the same as their hitmen. Their disregard for human life was much like mine," he explained, glancing down at Alice and squeezing her body with his arm and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Alice shivered. "I don't like thinking of you that way. It's not you who are. It's not ever who you were. Not really."

"No, not anymore," He agreed, trying to reassure her.

"Were you happy then? No, you weren't. And why is that? Because it isn't who you were, not in here," she said, poking her finger into his chest. "So it's not that you aren't that person anymore, it's that you ever were."

"No matter what they say, you have to stay calm," she warned. "Don't let them get to you."

"I'll try not to," he promised. "So long as they don't disrespect you, I'll be fine."

"But they might, Jasper," Alice said, worry in her voice. "They might and you're going to have to stay in control. It's not worth it."

"They won't," he promised, stiffening at the thought. He wouldn't tolerate disrespect to a woman. "Everything will be fine. Things won't get out of hand. Mood manipulator, remember?" he said, with a wide smile. "Plus, I'm an empath so I'll know when things start to escalate."

Alice tilted her head to the side. "I hadn't actually considered that," she admitted, her mood growing more calm. "That may actually work."

"Yeah?" he asked, grinning widely. "I think it will," he agreed. "So, there's no reason to worry because it's all under control," he said, kissing her cheek quickly before moving forward and getting the door to Lenny's Club. "After you, miss," Jasper said genially and stood aside.

Alice smiled at him, took a deep breath and slipped inside. She only made it a foot inside the door when she abruptly stopped, eyeing the women dancing on the stage with shock.

Jasper followed in behind Alice only to be met with same sight as she had. Barely clad, burlesque women dancing on the stage, a thick stench of cigar smoke hanging in the air and the distinct smell of alcohol. "Oh…I see..." he mumbled, a bit surprised at the sight in front of them.

"Jasper, those women are barely clothed," she gasped, staggering back to crash into his chest. "What sort of place is this?"

Jasper caught her with his arm, bracing it around her. "Human entertainment…" he replied, laughing and shook his head. Angling himself around her, Jasper caught her hand and started to move forward through the crowd. "Just stay by me," he warned, in a muted tone.

Alice gripped Jasper's hand with both her own, her eyes wide and staring as he pulled her along. This she had not seen in her vision, nor anywhere before for that matter. She took a few hurried steps to press herself into his side nervously.

Although, he found it strange and oddly fascinating, the scene in front of them didn't seem to bother Jasper as much as it seemed to be bothering Alice. The nervous tenure to her mood caused him to draw her in close, unwinding their fingers and wrapping his arm around her when she sunk into his side.

Alice felt better with Jasper's arm draped around her. The atmosphere here made her uncomfortable. The way the men here leered at the dancers reminded her of the way Antonio had raked his eyes appreciatively over her before. These women didn't seem to mind the attention, though, she observed.

Finally tearing her gaze away from the spectacle she spotted a large man dressed in a suit sitting at the end of a bar. She nudged Jasper, standing on her tiptoes to whisper. "That's Lenny," she said, her voice shaking.

The man sitting at the end of the bar didn't stick out in an out of place sense, but his size set him apart from the others. His very presence screamed importance as Jasper caught Alice's words through the noise of the bar. He nodded once in response and made his way, with Alice securely plastered to his side, to the back of the bar. "Lenny," Jasper greeted him, with an air of confidence and stuck out his hand to shake his. "I'm Jasper Whitlock," he said in introduction with a business tone. "This is my wife, Alice." He angled his gaze to the small creature tucked into his side and let go a loving smile.

Lenny looked up from his drink and eyed the man and the petite woman he had introduced as his wife with something almost bordering on amusement. "You don't seem like our regular patrons," he commented, swirling his scotch around in the bottom of his glass. "I'm not looking for any more girls here so you can take the wife back home if that's what you're after."

"Excuse me?" Jasper questioned, his eyes narrowing dangerously. It took everything he had not to reach over and hurl Lenny across the room. Locking his jaw in place, Jasper fought to reign in his anger at the thoughtless statement. "I didn't bring my wife here to dance!" he hissed through clenched teeth, working to wipe the glare off of his face as he unconsciously tightened his grip around Alice.

If it were possible, Alice's eyes went even wider in her pale face. She hugged her arms around Jasper's waist, peeking around him at this Lenny and the men that chuckled at his side.

"I would hope not," Lenny remarked, giving the woman tucked into his side a smile that was almost kind, though something lurked beneath the surface. "Looks far too timid anyway..."

Jasper said nothing but the look on his face gave evidence that he didn't appreciate Lenny's comments or leering. Instead, he hugged Alice closer and kept a solid, protective grip around her.

Lenny's laughing cronies only added to the anger building up inside of him. "Enough..." Jasper voiced, the ex-commander he'd once been showing through in the simple word. The scents swirling around him purged together in one strong odor, hitting him with enough force to cause his knees to want to buckle. Sucking in a sharp breath of unadulterated flames, Jasper worked to gain control of the need to feed racing to take over his senses. The pained look sweeping across his face gave a glimpse to the internal battle. The muscles in his throat tightened in response, desperate to quench the fire raging inside.

Lenny's men took a few steps forward but Lenny waved them off. They relaxed their stances but remained in their positions.

Jasper stiffened, sweeping Alice ever so slightly behind him as Lenny's men advanced. He would fight them if he had to and hope that no bullets were fired. Even though Lenny had waved them off, he didn't relax his stance. Instead, he kept his gaze narrowed on the four men behind him and kept tabs on their positions. The confidence emanating through these men was clear. They obviously lost very few fights and from what Jasper was able to pick up from their moods they weren't worried about disposing of him either. They should be worried. Jasper wasn't their average target.

Alice gasped as Jasper swept her behind him, grabbing onto his waist in an attempt to stay put. "No..." she warned, quietly.

Jasper shook his head, turning his gaze down to her when she caught herself around his waist in refusal to move.

"We spoke with a man named Antonio. He recommended we come speak with you," Jasper said, returning his gaze to Lenny and mentally taking tabs on the men around him who were dressed to match.

"Did he?" Lenny mused. "And what exactly is it you require then?"

He regained enough control to respond as the hungered look in his eyes dimmed, leaving the pained look on his face to morph into a smoothed out expression. "Yes," Jasper rasped, nodding and clearing his throat to continue. "We need some documents forged. Birth certificates."

"Please," Alice added, her voice small. She gave Jasper a squeeze, hoping he could retain control for a few more minutes...just long enough to get them away from here.

Jasper's gaze tore away from the men, falling on Alice with a nod to let her know that everything was fine.

Lenny's face broke into a wide grin as he eyed the woman, her expression amused. "When would you require these documents?" he asked, drawing a napkin up in front of him and reaching a hand over his shoulder. One of the men at his side handed him a pen.

"As soon as possible..." Jasper said, returning his gaze to Lenny.

"And the names you wish for them to say?" he asked, putting his pen to the napkin. "Will it be your real names, Mr. and Mrs. Jasper Whitlock, or assumed names?" He cast them both a wry smile.

"Well w-" Jasper began but Alice had cut him off and stepped around him. He cast his gaze on her warily. He hadn't expected her to step forward so confidently and speak up so needless to say he was rather surprised.

"Jasper Whitlock and Alice...Smith, sir," Alice answered, taking a few steps to stand in front of Jasper.

"Dates of birth?" Lenny asked. "Middles names?"

"June 20th, 1928 for me and May 5th, 1929 for my wife..." Jasper said, glancing at Alice quickly. "As for middle names, Claiborne and Elizabeth…" Jasper said, glancing at Alice and raising an eyebrow, as if to ask if that were fine.

Alice smiled brightly at the man, wrapping her arms around Jasper's waist again to hide her shaking.

"If you want these quickly it's going to cost you," Lenny said, tapping his pen on the bar counter. "$500 for delivery tomorrow evening. Will that be a problem?"

"No problem at all, sir," Alice assured the man. "In fact, I would be happy to throw in an extra $500 and my gratitude if you could make that tomorrow morning instead."

Lenny's predatory smile grew ever so slightly at the prospect. "I think that could be arranged...ma'am," he said with a nod of his head. "They'll be with Antonio, same street corner, tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock."

Alice nodded her understanding. "That would be very satisfactory, thank you."

"You should let her do the talking, Mr. Whitlock," Lenny remarked, favoring Alice with an air of appreciation. "Now that she speaks, I find her to be rather charming and agreeable.

Jasper laughed, nodding once. "Yes, she's very likeable," he remarked, regarding Alice with a quiet, loving smile.

"May I ask what these documents are for, miss?"

"We're getting married," Alice chirped brightly, laying a hand on Jasper's chest. "He introduced me as his wife but I'm not...yet."

"No, not yet…" Jasper agreed, glancing down at Alice and trailing a hand through her hair, smiling in appreciation. "We can't until we get the documents…"

"We need them to make it official."

Lenny laughed and threw back the rest of his scotch. "Now I've heard it all! I have people come in here for documents for all sorts of nefarious purposes but never yet have I aided and abetted a wedding! I tell you what, sweetheart. Your documents will be ready tomorrow morning for the original $500, no rush fee attached. Consider it a wedding present from Lenny Accardo."

Alice tilted her head to smile up at Jasper. "Thank you very much, sir. Your generosity is unexpected but appreciated."

"Thank you." Jasper stole a glance Alice with a very impressed smile, before returning it to Lenny. "We appreciate that, very much."

Lenny nodded, signaling to the bartender for another drink. "It's $250 now, $250 to Antonio in the morning."

Alice reached inside the pocket of Jasper's coat and quickly retrieved the desired amount for the roll of money she had given him to hang onto.

Jasper's gaze fell on Alice as she fished out the wad of money from his pocket. His eyes remained on her as she stepped forward and handed the allotted amount to Mr. Accardo, watching with a small amount of curiosity as he took it and pocketed it inside his suit coat.

"You're welcome to stay and enjoy the next show if you wish," he said with a grin towards the stage.

"No, thank you," Jasper declined, shifting a distasteful look toward the stage. "We'd better get going…" He trailed off, wanting to get as far away from that place as possible. He needed to feed and the more time he spent here the less his self control remained stable.

"Thank you but we had best get going." Alice stepped back to slip into Jasper's arms again. "It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Accardo."

"And with you as well," he replied, shaking his head with a smile.

Jasper quirked a small smile as Alice rejoined him and gave a slight nod to Lenny. "What she said… We'll be there in the morning," he said, glancing toward Alice briefly.

"Have a good after noon," Jasper said as another pained look swept across his face and swallowed another mouthful of venom. His gaze wandered over toward the stage as his throat constricted, a hungry look sparking in his eyes as he let his gaze scan over the girls. To an onlooker, it would look as if he were gawking. He wasn't. His intentions were much more sinister.

Alice looked up at Jasper before pulling him away, back through the crowd and toward the exit.

Jasper's concentration was interrupted by Alice as she attempted to pull him back through the crowd. He followed her lead, unwilling to remove his gaze completely from the dancers as he picked out a target. The one in the middle looks appetizing, he thought. I bet she tastes good... His mind continued to riot. No! he thought. I can't… he reaffirmed, grasping ahold of the reigns to his thirst. He tore his gaze off of them, refocusing it on Alice, as they wove their way through the club.

Alice saw the way Jasper was looking at the stage girls but she didn't mistake it for anything more than what it was. The thirst was apparent in his eyes. "Soon..." she promised, squeezing his hand even tighter. "Let's get outside the city and stay there until morning."

Jasper nodded in response, cutting his gaze to Alice. "Soon…" he agreed in a cracked voice, wincing as he sucked in another breath of flames.

They exited onto the street, the fresh air much easier to breathe with its more diffuse scents. The confined space had not even made a dent in her self control but Jasper, she knew, had had a hard time of it, especially with the emotional charged atmosphere.

The street was like a sanctuary and Jasper felt as if he couldn't get out the door fast enough. As soon as the door had closed behind them, Jasper sucked in a sharp breath of fresh air, cleansing out the scents clinging in his airways and extinguishing the fire raging inside of his throat. The pained expression that had been permanently fixed on his face was replaced with one of relief.

"Are you okay?" she asked, reaching up a hand to touch his face. Her eyes were awash with concern.

"I'm fine," he assured her, noting the worry in her tone and eyes.

"It was stupid of me not to suggest we hunt first. I shouldn't have been so thoughtless."

"No, it's fine. Really…" he reaffirmed, shaking his head. "It needed to be done. You were hardly thoughtless," he smirked.

"Yes, I was," she said sadly. "It's just that...the allure of human blood is all but gone for me. It registers with me due to the nature of what I am but I have no desire to act on it. I haven't for a long time so I forget sometimes how that must be for you..." She shook her head, reaching down to take his hand in hers and studying it with a frown. "I'm sorry."

"Alice, look at me…" Jasper said, taking hold of Alice's chin with his free hand and lifting it to meet his gaze. "Don't be sorry for anything," he said, firmly. "It's not your fault." He hated that Alice felt guilty for his weakness. "Not ever," he added, setting his jaw. His internal battles were his own and in that moment, he made a vow to himself that Alice would not suffer his weakness anymore. From that day forward, he would do his best to hide it and never again would she be subjected to it. "I promise…" he mumbled, quietly and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Alice bit her lip to keep it from trembling. She still felt as though she had hurt him carelessly. She hadn't been thinking of his needs and there was no telling how long he had been in pain because of it. He had suffered in silence, braving the human world not only at the hotel but also to take her dancing, to buy her a ring, to go on a carriage ride and to do what was necessary tonight to procure their birth certificates. And he had done all of it to make her happy. The motivation behind his lack of complaint was what made her feel the most wretched of all.

"Darlin'?" he asked, the soft tenor in his voice wrought with concern. The mood around her was as thick as a fog, mixed with emotions such as guilt, concern, sadness and self loathing. He picked up on each and every one of them, separating them from each other with delicate dissection. He lifted his hands and cupped both sides of her face. "Your happiness is worth it…" he implied with a soft smile.

Alice's face fell at being found out. Of course he had sensed her emotions. They were impossible to hide from him. Still she wanted to try. She looked up into his eyes, forcing a smile onto her face in hopes that it would dispel whatever emotional climate currently hovered around her.

Alice's feeble attempt at covering the emotions surrounding her with a half hearted smile didn't quite fool him yet he felt inclined to let it go. Sighing gently, Jasper gave her a brittle smile of his own and nodded once. "You win…" he mumbled with a displeased look.

"Of course I do," Alice said, reaching up to smooth the lapels of his coat. "I'm fine, really," she assured him.

She looked up at him, making a conscious effort to brighten her mood and hopefully his as well. "Come on!" she chirped. "I think you'll find that hunting at night is even more enjoyable than during the day. The carnivores, which taste better as a general rule, are much more active." She raised an eyebrow, her mouth pulling up in a lopsided grin. "Mountain lions especially..."

Alice's sudden mood shift was indeed infectious, causing a slight uplift in his own mood. He didn't fight the sudden urge to be giddy. He needed it. "Thank you," he mused, eyeing her meaningfully before moving off down the street with her at his side, shooting a side long glance to her as she prattled about the local predator population. "Sounds very inviting," he agreed with a contented sigh, letting his gaze drift to their entwined fingers. "I do enjoy the taste of mountain lion..." he said, pursing his lips together to suppress a bemused smile. Alice certainly had funny ways of brightening the mood.

Alice giggled and tugged at his hand, pulling him with her down the street. She couldn't help but look up at him as she did, favoring him with an impish grin. What such a man saw in her she couldn't fathom but every time she looked at him she couldn't help but feel eternally grateful for his presence. She squeezed his hand, running her thumb over the ravaged skin of his hand as though reminding herself that he was finally real and not just a silent phantom in her mind.

Jasper willingly followed Alice's lead, keeping pace with her rather easily. He peered down at her, catching her mischievous grin. The way her lips curved and the way her teeth brightly contrasted against the ruby red lipstick dazzled him. She was absolutely breathtaking, down to the subtle ways in which she moved. Each graceful gesture was like a choreographed dance, perfection at its finest. Her grounding touch sent a shiver through him as always. The way it always would. For years to come she would be the one to hold the reigns to his bloodlust, his thirst. She would be the controlling factor in his struggle. Her steady, reassuring presence would be what kept people safe and at that thought he held peace of mind that he could deny it, for her.

The city streets became more and more occupied by warehouses rather than businesses and residences as they tracked northward and out of town. Shapes scrambled in the darkness of alleyways and abandoned buildings, shapes that Alice's vampire eyes easily identified as human. Feeling no fear and having no reason to do so, she peered into the shadows, even raising a hand to wave at a few of them. The homeless she had encountered in her travels had always caused pity to stir in her heart, perhaps even a bit of empathy. She herself had felt homeless for quite some time and she knew all too well what it was to feel alone in the world.

Dark allies, warehouses and dim lighting served to give Jasper a feeling of deja vu as they left the vibrance of the city and traveled into its more unfortunate side. Jasper's thirst flared in remembrance of his last choice of meal before he'd met Alice. The homeless. They'd served as easy enough targets. Most were drunk and passed out, without family or friends. None of them were missed. Emotions abounded around him as they neared the figures scrambling about wildly. Fear, suspicion, anxiety, all mingled with a tinge of curiosity. Jasper's lips curved up in an amused smile.

"Jasper," she said, tilting her head up to look at him. "Could I have a bit of the money I gave you to hold onto?" She looked back over her shoulder at the figures hovering in the doorways behind her. Money meant little to her as it had never been in short supply given her ability and she had always made a habit of helping unfortunates whenever she encountered them. It would only take a moment after all and then they could continue on their way.

"Of course…" Jasper replied, a bit confused. He couldn't begin to fathom why she would want money here. They weren't exactly in prime shopping territory. But he had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with her affections for the homeless population whose presence had not gone unnoticed. They'd gathered to hover and gawk in the doorways, the suspicion and fear radiating off of them in a heavy wave as Jasper turned a speculative look their direction. Without removing his gaze from them he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a wad of bills, pressing it into Alice's palm. A gleam of hunger sparked in his eyes as he forced his gaze away from them and back onto Alice.

"I'll only be a moment," she promised as she skipped away from him. As she made her way over to the buildings her eyes clouded over momentarily. Jasper would be fine for as long as this would take. His face in the vision even appeared amused for what little she saw of it. Bringing herself back to the present, she smiled, happy that being what she was allowed her to do good things in her little corner of the world. The money in her hand would ensure that these humans had hot meals at the very least on this cold November night.

"Hurry back," Jasper said, letting her go a tad reluctantly. He couldn't help but worry as she skipped off out of sight. Something seemed off but he couldn't quite place it and he felt on edge and uncomfortable. He shot furtive, paranoid glances around him, puckering his eyebrows together and pouting his bottom lip ever so slightly, the look he always got when he was trying to figure something out.

As she approached, the humans within the building suddenly took flight, fleeing from her and into the recesses of the building. She didn't pursue them. Sometimes the homeless men and women she encountered appeared to suffer from a range of mental ailments and she was used to her presence not always being welcome. She sadly shook her head before turning to walk back to where Jasper waited.

Alice's sudden reappearance caused a wave of relief to wash through him but there was a particular sadness about her which he assumed belonged to the homeless people's rejection of her. Jasper moved forward to meet her, reaching out in anticipation of taking her hand when suddenly her mood shifted. Jasper's eyes grew wide, with worry. The happiness and joy she'd felt only moments earlier was suddenly replaced with panic.

Her lips had just curved up into a smile upon seeing him standing there when a new vision ripped its way into her mind with all the violence of being stabbed. Her mouth fell open, her eyes going wide but it was too late to do anything without exposing herself for what she was to this new human. Jasper's tale of the Volturi had struck fear into her frozen heart and it was that fear for both herself and for Jasper which caused her to stay put instead of dashing across the pavement in a blur and out of the human's reach. It was also out of fear for this human because even as he stepped out of the darkness and slid his arm around her neck, she earnestly hoped that he would live through this.

Jasper soon realized what had sparked her sudden shift in mood at the sudden reappearance of another. His expression darkened, sparked with fury as he emitted a low growl, taking a deliberate step forward.

"Looking to give that money to someone, sweetheart?" The voice was thick and scented with alcohol as the lips from which it came pressed against Alice's ear. "Maybe you should give it to me..."

"You will remove your hand or I'll be inclined to remove it for you…" Jasper threatened. His tone came off calm, which made it all the more frightening.

The mugger peered around his little victim, surprised to see the man standing several feet away. He hadn't noticed him before but looking at him now he wondered how he possibly could have missed him. Still, he was no cause for concern that he could see. The man and the woman were quite obviously together if they were out here at this time of night and he had the upper hand.

"You take another step and I'll remove her pretty little head," the man hissed. Just to drive home his point he wrapped his other arm around the woman's waist, being sure to brandish the knife that had been pointed into her back. He had killed before as made evidence by the grisly remnants on the blade and there was no apprehension in him about killing the tiny woman he pressed against him.

Despite the sickening way in which his other arm snaked around Alice's waist, a knife encrusted with what Alice could smell was dried human blood, she kept her wide eyes locked on Jasper. "Jasper, no..." she whispered, her bottom lip trembling. The anger, the rage and yes, the hunger in his eyes were all screaming at her in warning. "Stay there, Jasper. He can't hurt me. Don't come any closer, it's not safe..."

The distinct smell of blood, sweet as the rarest of wines, reached Jasper's nostrils and he voluntarily took a drag of the scent-laden air into his lungs. The slight spark of hunger that had gleamed in his eyes earlier flared full force. His gaze shifted from the human to Alice, wiped clean of any emotion. Alice was in danger and he needed to protect her. The blood on the knife was only the icing on the cake, which drove Jasper's instincts into overdrive as his gaze shifted back to the human.

"Listen to her," the man smirked. "She's right about everything except the part about me not hurting her. You take another step and I'll slit her throat." Moving the knife up to the woman's neck for emphasis, he leaned over her shoulder, keeping his gaze on the man as though using the woman for a shield. He reached a dirty hand into her coat, flashing a sadistic smile as his hands grazed her stomach almost in a caress before searching the pocket on the other side.

Alice repressed a shiver at the man's touch and clenched her teeth together in disgust. Still, her eyes remained locked on Jasper's face, entreating him to stay focused on her and not the man, not the blood on the knife, not the hunger that surely was threatening to consume him. The hunger which she knew must be made all the worse by the anger, the rage coursing through his body...

"And what is this?" the man purred, his breath warm against Alice's ear again. He roughly grabbed her hand and brought it up to examine, the diamonds in her ring sparkling under the dim streetlamp. He yanked it off and held it in his palm before turning his eyes back to the woman's companion. "Your fiancee, I take it?" he laughed. "Ah, young love..."

Jasper's rage boiled over the edge when he yanked Alice's ring off of her finger. Everything seemed to slow to a crawl as that simple movement destroyed all rationalized thought. He was beyond reason as he launched himself forward like a bolt of lightning and clamped his hand around the man's neck, driving him back into the wall.

Alice ducked as Jasper and the man went careening into the warehouse wall. She quickly righted herself and flew to Jasper's side. The tension in the air was a palpable thing, the fierceness in Jasper's eyes as undeniable as the horrifying vision that flashed into her mind, the images it contained causing her to gasp in alarm.

Jasper's breaths came in short, sharp puffs as he sucked in more of this man's scent, his eyes locked on his target as he reached with his free hand and ripped the knife from him, giving it a fling behind him. "I warned you," Jasper hissed, the look on his face terrifying.

"Jasper!" Alice shouted. She moved forward as quickly as she could to try and stop him but even as she did she knew that it was futile.

Alice's pleas fell on deaf ears. Jasper inhaled the scent of his victim, conflict in his eyes. The overpowering smell on the knife, this man's own scent and the sweet flowing of his blood just under the surface of his skin combined with the fury over how he had treated Alice had driven Jasper's senses into an overwhelming frenzy. The emotional climate, anger and fear, only added fuel to the fire.

His mind raced from leaving this man broken but alive to killing him right out and draining every drop of blood he could suck from him. Jasper's free hand hit the wall next to his victims face as he dug his fingers into the concrete. Suddenly a wave of blackness overtook his thoughts, as his instincts took over and Jasper drove his face into the man's neck, his lips parting gracefully as he sunk his teeth into the succulent skin. A rush of excitement cut through him as the sweet liquid flowed into his mouth.

Alice had been ready to spring, to launch herself through the air and knock Jasper to the ground in an attempt to avoid what was now taking place before her eyes. Instead she recoiled, clapping a hand over her mouth and nose to ward off the tangy, metallic smell of the blood that seemed to burn her from the inside out. A hunger she had not felt since her time as a newborn ripped through her like wildfire before she had successfully blocked the scent. But even as she shut her eyes, she found she couldn't escape what she had seen.

Jasper greedily pulled the man away from the wall, kneading his teeth into the softness of his neck, his life's blood coursing through his veins like a renewal of his own spirit. His eyes flashed to Alice, no longer conflicted, but empty.

Alice sank to the ground not breathing, so overcome with the hunger and sadness both warring within her by turns that she found she could not longer stay on her feet. Her other hand came up to clamp over her nose, determined as she was to keep the smell of the man's blood from blazing a fire in her throat again. She briefly opened her eyes but seeing the empty, lifeless black depths of Jasper's she quickly shut them once more. He wasn't her Jasper in that moment, he was something else entirely, something she knew he had never wanted her to see.

Afraid to open her eyes again, afraid to remove her hands in their death grip over her mouth and nose, she sat there quietly, as still as a statue, waiting for it to be over.

The man's terrified scream trailed off into a blood curtly gurgle as Jasper's teeth cut into his throat. The terror in his eyes, reflected by his slightly agape mouth, was magnified by the strong feelings emanating off of him. Jasper's grip tightened as the wave of emotion cut through him and reached to the very depths of his being. It was too late to pull back now. His eyes once again, became conflicted and torn as he sunk his teeth more deeply, desperate to get out every last drop. If only he'd heeded the warnings and had left while he still had a chance but it was too late now. The man was dying and Jasper felt compelled to end the suffering on both sides, the razor sharp feelings of terror and fear cutting through him and reaffirming the monster that he was.

Alice was half tempted to clap her hands over her ears instead of her nose and mouth, anything to rid herself of the sound of his screaming. Yet she didn't dare, afraid that she, too, might succumb to the lure of his blood, its scent as thick as a cloud of opium in the air. When his voice died off into a blood-choked gurgle, she found the silence almost as disturbing as his screams had been. Afraid to open her eyes again, afraid to remove her hands in their death grip over her mouth and nose, she sat there quietly, as still as a statue, waiting for it to be over.

Jasper's eyes cut to Alice's crumpled form on the ground. Her eyes were squeezed shut, terrified to look at him. A stab of pain shot through him at the thought of how he must appear to her now. A monster, an animal, no better than any of the other savages out there.

As the last drops drained out, Jasper let the limp body slip from his fingers. The corpse hit the ground with a sickening thud, eyes frozen wide open in a horrific expression. Jasper's hand fluttered to his lips, clasping over his blood drenched mouth as if he were suddenly ill. The fog faded away, opening a flood gate of emotions to come crashing back with full force. Dread, fear, anger…among others. "Oh…God…" he choked, falling to his knees and reaching out a tentative hand to touch the man's cold, clammy cheek. "What've I done?" he stammered. The last thing he remembered was the smug look on the human's face when he ripped the ring off of Alice's finger, the ring that now lay on the ground, stained with blood.

His gaze roved over the body, panic and guilt flooding through him before his gaze shifted over to Alice. "Alice?" he asked, fear thick in his voice, his expression turning horrified. "I'm sorry…" he choked, tearing his gaze away from her and crumpling to the ground to hide his face in the crooks of his arms.

He was sorry, sorry that she had to see the monster he truly was. He was sure she would leave him now. She wouldn't want to be near him, not knowing the true animal that lurked within him. He couldn't blame her. She deserved better, far better.

Alice slowly opened her eyes, her gaze falling momentarily on the man who now lay nearby, his body drained, his eyes empty and staring into nothing. Something about them reminded Alice of how Jasper's had looked while he had fed. Dead. There had been a deadness in his eyes that had chilled her to the bone. She shivered at the memory in spite of herself.

She turned her head to find Jasper collapsed onto the pavement, his face hidden from view, hidden from her. She trembled with the sobs she held at bay at the pitiful sight.

"Jasper?" she whispered, crawling over to him and twining her fingers in his blond curls. "Jasper? Look at me, please..." Her voice broke, a sob escaping her lips before she could stifle it with her hand. Desperate to comfort him she collapsed over him, wrapping her little arms as far around him as she could reach and squeezing him tightly. She had tried so hard to stop it but she had failed. Despite her gift she had been powerless to do anything to save him from this and the utter despair he felt now cleaved her heart in two. She didn't need to be an empath to know the shame he had to feel. She had seen it in her vision, the image coming to her right after the ones capturing the horror of the kill.

Alice's soft voice broke through the graphic images flooding his mind. The tone was sympathetic, forgiving. She was trying to comfort him after what he'd done. His body stiffened at her touch, sickened at himself for having given in to his thirst and by the fact that even after that she was apparently looking past the ugliness of his true nature. Jasper's gaze lifted from where he had hidden his face in his arms but he didn't look in her direction. Instead, he fixed his gaze numbly at the wall in front of him. He couldn't look at her, not when he'd done something so horrific in front of her and broken his promise, her trust. His bottom lip quivered uncontrollably as the shock from the situation set in. "What've I done?" he mumbled, numbly.

"It's okay," Alice murmured, burying her face in his curls. "It's okay, it's okay..." She hugged him even tighter still as though that simple gesture could somehow erase everything. She wished that it could. The smell of congealing blood sent a torrent of flames down her throat and she swallowed hard against the pain.

"No, it's not..." he mumbled, slumping his head against her shoulder. "I failed you, Alice... I failed…" he choked, pressing his face into her and letting go of a quiet sob as his body erupted into violent trembling. He had feared his own lack self control and it seemed that his weakness had finally won out. He hadn't even abstained for very long. Alice's embrace should have shed light and reassurance. The way she hugged him, gripped him should have been reassuring. But he couldn't bring himself to believe that there was even a shred of hope left for him.

"No, you didn't," she argued, reaching a hand up to once again shift her fingers through his hair.

"Alice..." he began. He was about to protest but decided against it and shook his head. He sighed, letting Alice run her delicate hands through his hair and mustered a weak smile

She had made a daily habit of resisting the humans she came in contact with for nearly three decades but the lure of freshly spilled, free-flowing blood had been something that even she had found nearly unbearable. The fire that had almost consumed her from within was something Jasper lived with every day on a far grander scale and this realization threw into light exactly how strong he had been on her behalf these past few days. That he had even abstained at all was nothing short of a miracle. He probably could have continued to do so had it not been for her carelessness. She shook her head as the guilt and anguish washed over her in relentless waves. They had been on their way to hunt but it had been too late, too late... Before she even realized it she was sobbing, the effort she had been putting into not doing so all but forgotten.

His gaze traveled over to the body on the ground. His face was frozen in terror, eyes empty and staring into nothing, the terror that Jasper had felt but had been unable to stop himself. "I'm a monster…" he mumbled, reaching up with his hand and gingerly touching his lip and draw it back to study the crusted blood on his finger tips. His expression turning sickened as his gaze finally shifted to Alice. "I'm a monster…"

Alice's face would've been a breath of fresh air under any other circumstance. But now, looking at her, all he could think about was what she'd witnessed, what he'd never meant for her to see. Suddenly he found it difficult to look her in the eyes, knowing he'd betrayed her in the worst possible way. "I never meant for you to see that. You must think I'm some kind of animal…" he croaked, his words layered in sadness as his expression turned apologetic.

The shocking red of his eyes, brighter now even than they were that first day in the diner, nearly ripped her apart. My fault, she thought. My fault... Alice turned her face into his neck, both to escape the tangible proof of what she'd done and also to kiss him frantically in a desperate effort to soothe away his ridiculous apologies. "No," she choked between sobs as her lips pressed against the scars there. "You're not a monster. You never were. Not ever, Jasper. Not ever."

Her guilt didn't cease and Jasper realized that it probably wouldn't. No matter what he said, Alice would still hold herself accountable for his actions. Pushing his weaknesses aside, Jasper wound his arms around her and pulled her in close, burying his face in her shoulder. He needed to see her smile, needed to hear the tinkling wind chimes of her laughter. He needed her and, in that moment, she needed him. He did what he had to do to be strong for her. The quiet sobs escaping her lips ripped through him one at a time bringing his guilt back just a little more as each new soft kiss pushed it away in an endless ebb and flow.

Jasper pulled back, raking his sleeve across his mouth to wipe away the dried blood and took up Alice's face in his hands. "Please..." he whispered with sadness in his eyes. "It's not your fault..." he assured her, gently pulling her face to him and planting a soft kiss on her lips.

Alice closed her eyes as Jasper's lips gently closed on hers. She wished she could simply give herself over to kissing him, let him pull her into his arms and forget everything she had just witnessed. But the scent of blood was still thick in the air and Jasper's lips tasted of it. She pulled away delicately, holding back the urge to retch at the overwhelming hunger it stirred in her. Her eyes shifted from Jasper's face to the corpse lying on the pavement, the hungry gleam in her gaze apparent.

Alice's rejection caused a frown to pull down the corners of his mouth. Confusion colored his face as she pulled away from him. "Alice? What's--" But he didn't finish. Instead, he began sampling the mood around her and found a significant spike of hunger in it. Her eyes reflected that hunger. He didn't have to ask her what was wrong. He realized that it must have been the smell of the blood and the taste of it in his mouth. He nodded in understanding and unwound his arms from around her, scooting to the side and stretching his legs out in front of him. He let his back come to rest against the wall as his gaze followed hers over to the body on the ground, his frown deepening. Turning his gaze down toward his hands, he interlaced them together and twiddled his thumbs.

"We have to get rid of the body," she mumbled. Even cooling, the life drained away, it made her throat ache to look at it and she felt an instant wave of shame, having always thought herself immune to such temptations. "I'll take care of it..."

"No, it's my mess..." Jasper mumbled, cutting her off in objection. "I'll do it..." he said with weighted words as he drug himself up off the pavement before she could argue.

Alice stood, wringing her little hands in front of her as her gaze darted around the surrounding darkness. Hopefully no one had seen. According to Jasper the Volturi wouldn't tolerate witnesses. Alice cringed at the idea of any more lives lost as her eyes fell once more on the mugger's dead body.

Jasper moved slowly over to the drained body on the ground, casting his gaze upon it with a sickened look. His eyes shifted to Alice briefly, an unsure cast to his expression as he stooped and grabbed the corpse by the arms. He grimaced and slung the dead weight over his shoulder.

Alice watched as Jasper picked the man's body off the ground. His head lolled to the side at an unnatural angle when Jasper threw him over his shoulder, exposing his neck and the obvious bite mark that marred his rapidly paling skin.

Scanning the ground, Alice spotted the blood stained knife and walked over to it. Clapping a hand over her mouth and nose once more she picked it up between her thumb and forefinger, holding it out and away from her as she followed Jasper over to the dock.

Catching a glint of metal in his peripheral vision, Jasper spotted the ring he'd given Alice. He stooped, scooping it up, and slipped it into his pocket before heading down toward the dock, body in tow. He glanced over his shoulder to see Alice following with the bloodied knife. She didn't look happy. In fact she looked down right repulsed. The sounds of water breaking against the rocks and shore filtered in as he swiveled his gaze back around. He strode across the dock coming to a halt at its edge and swung around to face Alice, dropping the corpse at his feet in front of him.

Alice looked down at the body, her eyes wide at the sight. "There's evidence to destroy," she mumbled underneath her hand. "His neck, the bite mark…" Alice held the knife out to Jasper, turning her head away and clenching her eyes shut.

Jasper nodded, reaching out to take the knife before dropping down to the criminal's side. He probed his fingers over the bite marks, looking up at Alice through his eyelashes to find her eyes squeezed shut in disgust. He smirked, returning his gaze to the man's neck. Wiping clean any emotion from his face, he lifted the dead man's head by his hair with one hand and placed the knife between his teeth. Reaching down with his other hand he dug his fingers into the bite mark, ripping up the man's throat as if he'd been attacked by a wild animal. "There..." he stated, letting go of the dead man's hair. Taking the knife from between his teeth, he gave it a sling into the water.

Alice opened her eyes, careful not to look at the man's neck again. The smell of fresh gore seeped between her fingers despite how hard she pressed her hand over her mouth and nose. The hunger sparked in her again, followed closely by an overwhelming sense of disgust that she could desire such a thing, even dead and turning stiff as it lay on the dock.

Grimacing she crouched down beside the corpse and reached her other hand into his pockets. Her fingers closed over several things and she drew out her hand, letting them spill onto the ground. Necklaces, money, and three wallets. She flipped open one of the wallets, her eyes searching the face of the man in the driver's license before hesitantly moving to that of the corpse. Not him. She removed the money and piled it next to her foot before flicking the wallet into the lake.

Jasper stayed crouched as Alice dug through the dead man's belongings, however, he wasn't watching her. No, he was studying the bloodstains on his finger tips, sniffing at them tentatively. The scent was stale, rusty and not entirely pleasant. It was about the same as a human choosing cold pizza over hot. The scent held no interest to him now, except from a curiosity view point.

Opening the second wallet produced the same result and she repeated the task of removing the money before sending it into the water with the other one. The third wallet, however, contained a driver's license with a face that matched that of the man lying before her.

"Harvey McFarlane," Alice muttered between her fingers. She pocketed the driver's license and stood, kicking the wallet into the water before bending to pick up the pile of money and jewelry. Clenching them in her fist she turned to look at Jasper, nodding at him to do what he deemed best.

Alice's voice cut through his concentration, causing his gaze to rip away from his hand and shift up to her. He didn't let his gaze linger on her for long before he took hold of the corpse and rolled it into the water, barely noticing as it hit the water with a sickening splash. He glanced back at Alice momentarily and leaned over the side of the dock, feverishly scrubbing his hands in the water, trying to wash off the blood.

With the body floating off and finally sinking under the black mirrored surface of the lake Alice slowly loosened her hand from her nose and mouth and let it fall to her side. With a frown she looked down at the wad of jewelry and cash in her other hand and then over to Jasper where he worked at rinsing his hands free of gore. She couldn't think of anything to say so she simply waited for him to be finished. She licked her lips, shivering with desire and revulsion at the faint taste of blood that lingered there.

He could feel Alice's eyes on him and wanted to turn around and meet her gaze, but he ignored the feeling trying to push through and shook his head. Instead he just concentrated on washing his hands and manically scrubbed so vigorously that had he scrubbed any harder he would have raked his skin off. He paused in mid-rinse and balled his hands into fists briefly before reaching back up and fishing the ring out of his pocket. He palmed it momentarily, puckering his eyebrows together in a thoughtful expression before enclosing his fingers around it and bending back down to the water's surface. He delicately swirled it around just under the surface and began polishing the blood off.

Alice eyed the ring in Jasper's hand, the ring that symbolized their love and their new life together. The topaz, like Jasper's eyes, was now stained with red. Alice hung her head, a fresh wave of guilt washing over her.

Alice's guilt hung thick in the air and it didn't escape Jasper's attention. He glanced at her, eyeing her meaningfully for a moment. She wouldn't want the ring now, of that much he was sure. Perhaps she felt guilty because of the impending rejection she would lay upon him in the event he asked her about it. He wouldn't, he didn't need to because he already knew the answer.

She replayed everything in her mind. If they had hunted before going to see Lenny Accardo, if she hadn't stopped to give money to the homeless… She couldn't see the results of past decisions not made but she felt confident this whole thing could have been avoided if only she had chosen differently.

Hesitantly she took a step forward and then another, placing a hand on Jasper's shoulder as he leaned over the edge of the dock, trying to wash away the consequences of her folly.

Jasper froze when Alice's hand touched his shoulder. He'd been so caught up in his focus that he had failed to acknowledge her approach. Rising back up from the water's surface, Jasper rolled back onto his heels and squatted there in place, slipping the ring back in his coat pocket. He hesitated before turning to meet Alice's gaze.

"Everything's fine, really..." he said, mustering a weak smile before getting to his feet. He was convinced there was no way she'd marry him now. He just couldn't see it happening and wondered if perhaps, he should return the ring to her.

The way Jasper froze under her hand was in such stark contrast to the way he normally responded to her touch that Alice couldn't help but realize exactly how much things had changed. When he pocketed the ring instead of returning it to her, her heart sank. Everything was not fine. His words rang hollow in her ears and she wrapped her arms around herself finding that they chilled her to the bone.

After he'd returned the ring to his pocket and gotten to his feet Jasper turned to Alice. The way she hugged her arms around herself screamed insecurity which sent a chill through his body. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and comfort her, to let her know that everything was fine but she wouldn't want him to touch her now or ever. Everything wasn't fine and he knew this, grimacing as a sickening feeling twisted in his stomach at the sudden realization that he would soon be alone again.

He faltered to keep eye contact for very long. He reached behind her to put his arm around her but retracted it and slipped his hand into his pocket.

Jasper couldn't seem to look her in the eye. She dropped her own as well so as not to see how he avoided her. When he reached behind her to wrap an arm around her, her silent heart swelled with hope, a hope that was quickly dashed when he awkwardly put his hand in his pocket instead. He couldn't even bear to touch her and she supposed she didn't blame him.

He'd almost chanced wrapping his arm around her but had decided against it. She wouldn't want him to touch her and the way she averted her eyes from him told him she couldn't stand to look at him, either. He had been right in his assumptions and as he placed his hand back in his pocket, he coiled his fingers around the ring that symbolized their love.

She had been so caught up in her childish joy, so oblivious to anything else and he in his indulgence of her had been the one to suffer. She was careless, thoughtless, and naive and in being all these things she had caused him to lose control of himself, to confront a part of his past he had worked so hard to deny. If he hated her, she thought it well deserved.

More emotions fogged the atmosphere aside from the guilt. Shame, sadness, and finally one that grated under his skin like nails on a chalk board. Self-loathing. She felt that he hated her. Jasper's gaze snapped over to Alice almost immediately. "You're wrong..." he mumbled, casting his gaze toward the ground. "I don't hate you..." He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. "But I would understand if you hated me..."

"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "It's okay. I understand. I expected it." She couldn't hate him for reacting the way he did, for not wanting to touch her or even look at her. She tried to search their future together, to see if it was still intact even though she held little hope that it would be. She cringed in preparation for the emptiness she would find as her eyes unfocused but even expecting it didn't soften the blow. The vision in her mind was like a desolate landscape, wiped clean of everything that was happy and beautiful and worth living this existence for. She bit back a sob, determined not to let him see her cry over what had been destroyed by her own hands.

"Expected what?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow in confusion. He studied her features, attempting to pick apart the saddened expression plastered on her face. The questions lingering in the depths of her eyes were clearly begging to be voiced but, for some unknown reason, she'd kept them locked in silence. Regarding her with a questioning look Jasper tilted his head slightly, awaiting an answer from her. Her stifled sob hit him, a sting as cruel as a whip lash, causing him to take a step back. "Alice?" he asked in trepidation, concern washing through in awaiting her impending rejection.

Alice shook her head, still haunted by the apparent emptiness stretching out in the centuries before her. She was afraid to speak, knowing that if she unclenched her teeth to do so she would begin crying and never stop.

"Do you want to hunt?" he asked, noting the hungry look in her eyes and the thick fog of emotional climate around her.

Looking up she realized that he had asked her a question. Did she want to hunt? She thought about it for a moment before nodding weakly. "Yes," she said quietly, turning and walking in the direction they had been heading, her arms still tightly wrapped around herself, her eyes cast down at the ground.

Jasper nodded in response and fell in step behind her, slipping his exposed hand in his other pocket. Alice's emotions stung like exposed nerves causing Jasper to inwardly cringe. "Alice, wait…" Jasper said, reaching forward and grasping her upper arm.

Alice froze, turning her head to stare first at his hand on her arm and then up to his face. The expression there was difficult for her to read and she felt a sudden rush of apprehension at what he could possibly have to say to her after what she had done. Unable to speak she simply stared at him with her wide amber eyes, a shiver working its way up her spine.

"If you don't want to see me anymore, I understand. But, please listen to me..." he begged in urgency, desperate to get his words out before she changed her mind. "I'm sorry for what you had to witness… I never meant for you to see that, not ever. I don't deserve you, I never did…and it's ludicrous to think you'd still want me after such behavior. If you don't want to marry me, then I'll understand. I mean, why would you want to? After seeing how much of a monstrosity I am…" His words came out rushed, with an edge of panic that she would hear enough at any moment and storm off. "I need to know... If you want me to leave I'll leave and you'll never hear from me again. I promise, I won't bother you…"

The very thought of walking away from Alice tore him up inside. The prospect of losing her and never seeing her again raked against his soul like nails on a chalkboard. Leaving would not be an easy task and he wasn't sure if he'd even be able to do it without condemning himself to an eternity of hell and torment but he would make himself do it, if that was what she wished.

Alice's jaw dropped as she listened to his hurried words, her eyes staring at him in disbelief. She stood there for a moment more before she flung herself into his arms, a torrent of sobs breaking free from her throat as she buried her face in his chest and wound her arms around him, pressing herself against him with all her strength.

Jasper enveloped his arms around her, eagerly pulling her close to him and pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head before laying his cheek against the same place he'd kissed. "I'm so sorry, Alice…" he murmured. "I didn't think you'd want the ring anymore…" he choked, feeling a knot twisting in his stomach as the words rolled out of his mouth. "I love you so much... I could never leave you and still be classified as a living being. I'd be nothing but an empty shell..."

"I thought you didn't want me anymore! I thought you were going to leave!" she sobbed into his shirt. "Everything was gone, everything... There was no future, no us... I thought you hated me for what I did to you..." Her hands came up to fist into the fabric of his coat, her body trembling with the outpouring of emotion. Relief, guilt, sadness, shame...they swirled around her in an endless storm. "Don't go... Don't ever go..."

"You thought I didn't..." He trailed off in disbelief. "Alice, that's absolutely absurd!" he interjected. "How could you possibly think that?" he asked, his voice growing softer as she began to sob. He slid his hand up her back, caressing his fingers up her spine and emitting a small amount of his calming influence to quell the overwhelming emotions erupting from her. "Of course I don't hate you. I never did…" he cooed, continuing to stroke his hand up and down the crease of her spine and wrapping his other arm around her tighter as she balled her hands into the fabric of his shirt. "I would never leave you, I promise..." he murmured softly, his lips moving whisper quiet against her hair as he spoke. "I didn't think you'd want me around anymore, let alone marry me after you saw the kind of monster I am. I thought I'd lost you..."

"It wasn't your fault," she said, he voice muffled by his shirt. "I was so caught up in everything I didn't think about how thirsty you must have been. I didn't think at all. And then if I hadn't tried to give the money to the homeless people, that man wouldn't have...and you wouldn't have..." Despite his effort to calm her she felt her sobs threaten to begin anew at the mental image, both what she had seen in her mind and in real life. "I didn't run, I didn't want to expose us but I should have, I should have... And I tried to stop it, even after he... But you were so mad and he was so horrible--"

Jasper listened quietly as Alice began to speak, her voice becoming more panicked with each word that came out of her mouth until her sentences rushed together in a blurred ramble. "Alice, slow down..." Jasper's calm voice cut in. "It's okay. Everything's okay..." he reassured her with a soft smile. Smoothing his hand up her back, Jasper cradled her head against his chest and lifted his cheek off the top of her head, raising his other hand to curl his fingers under her chin and lifting her eyes to his. "Look at me..." he said, with a lopsided grin. "What I did…is not your fault. I need you to believe that to forgive myself…okay?"

Alice tilted her head to meet his gaze. His bright red eyes still caused her a stab of pain but she worked to keep her face smooth. "I'm trying…" she whispered, reaching up to run her fingertips over his face, over the lips that had moments ago been stained with blood.

Alice's touch always sent a shiver down his spine, a good one. Her touch had sparked to life feelings he'd never experienced before and every time she touched him, they were new and exciting. Jasper's lips curved into a smile, weighted tentatively by her lingering finger. "I know. But, it's in my nature to help..." he explained, tilting his head slightly.

Jasper's influence finally broke through her rioting emotions and when the thick haze settled over her, numbing her from the inside out like ether, she didn't fight it. Her shaking lessened and then became nothing more than infrequent shivers skipping up her spine. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath of his scent, letting the relaxing smell of chamomile and bergamot aid him in his quest to calm her down.

Jasper could tell the moment his influence began to take effect, because the rioting emotions that had been dominant in Alice's emotional climate were slowly fading out. Her forceful trembling began to fade out, lessen, and in moments completely dissipated. With a quiet smile Jasper continued to run his fingers soothingly up her spine until the fog of his own created calm had completely enveloped her. "There," he said sweetly and paused his dancing fingers, moving his hand to rest it on the small of her back.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she whispered. "You were trying to protect me and he was an evil man. That knife, the blood... I'm not upset by his death, only by what it did to you to be the cause of it."

"A little pain means nothing if it means you're safe…" Jasper vowed confidently. "I would do anything to protect you…from anyone." And he meant anything. He would even die if that's what it took.

"I fear I need protecting from myself more than anything," she mumbled sadly, feeling the rise and fall of his chest under her cheek.

Jasper stifled a laugh. "Well…you do have your scary moments," he agreed, with a slightly lopsided smile. "Like when you dress me..." He trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip and eyeing the coat he had on.

Alice allowed herself the slightest of smiles. "That's not what I meant," she said quietly. "I meant my uncanny ability to cause trouble. For both of us, it would seem. This isn't the first time my naïve nature has caused you pain. The last time we hunted…I scared you so badly."

"And that..." he began, cocking his head slightly and lifted his hand to trace tiny circles with his index finger on the top of her hand, "was not your fault either. You didn't know. Once again, you're blaming yourself for my own…demons. Please don't." He gave a gentle poke to the top of her hand with his finger tip before lifting that particular hand and planting a kiss on the top of it.

Alice shook her head stubbornly. "No," she argued. "I would imagine the reaction would have been the same from any vampire. I've just never really been around other vampires before except in passing. Considering how much you've seen and done before coming here, I sometimes don't understand how my inexperience doesn't annoy you more than it probably does. You're either an extremely patient man or a glutton for punishment."

"It doesn't bother me," he mused. "Quite the opposite, actually. I think it's rather cute…" he affirmed, chucking her under the chin and flashed a bemused smile. "That and it gives me a purpose," he added, thoughtfully and clasped his hand against her cheek. "Protecting you keeps me preoccupied. Almost like a game..." he said, hiding an amused smile by pressing his lips together.

Alice scoffed, shaking her head again though this time in disbelief. "I'm glad I'm entertaining," she said, laughing quietly.

"Quite," he agreed, smiling brightly. "But, of course, I do it purely out of love. Always will," he added, smoothing out his expression. "You are my Dulcinea Del Toboso..." he announced proudly. "No windmill is safe, even if I have to reduce it to a tooth pick," he promised.

Alice scrunched up her nose at him, having no idea as to what he could be referring. Windmills, she wondered? "You're very weird sometimes," she teased.

A noise came from behind them and Alice looked over her shoulder to see a few homeless loitering in the shadows. She looked down at the money and jewelry fisted in her hand and then up to Jasper's face, gauging his expression upon seeing them after having just fed on fresh human blood.

Thanks to the earlier encounter, Jasper's alertness was easily triggered. Freezing suddenly, he moved to grab Alice in case he needed to fling her behind him. But when he turned to face the attackers, he was quite surprised to see it was just the local homeless population. His throat ached mildly, but nothing too badly. It was tolerable. More than anything he felt relief that Alice would be safe.

Unwilling to leave his side, she simply bent down and sat the pilfered belongings of Harvey McFarlane on the pavement before linking her arm through Jasper's and leading him north and out of the city.

Jasper nodded in response to Alice's urging and without a word, just a furtive and paranoid glance behind him, Jasper turned and followed.