16. Together Again
Panic shot through him as Maria hurled Alice toward the fire. Jasper launched himself into the air and slammed into Alice, hooking an arm around her waist as they sailed past the flames and hit the ground in a roll.
Alice had been prepared to die. She really couldn't see any other possible outcome as she flew through the air toward the fire, the charred corpses that smoldered within the flames and she about to become one of them. So it was with great surprise that she found herself peering up at Jasper's face. Had they both been killed? Was this heaven? There could be no other explanation for the impossible feel of his arms wrapped around her.
Jasper's expression turned puzzled as Alice stared up at him in wide eyed wonder. "Alice?" he asked, puckering his eyebrows together and hoping she was okay. "You're safe now…" he murmured softly as he tentatively reached down a hand, flipping it to stroke the back of it down her cheek.
At his touch, the sound of his voice so sweet in her ears, Alice began to tremble uncontrollably. A sob escaped her clenched teeth then another as she closed her eyes and wept, a mixture of happiness, pain, relief and exhaustion overcoming her in relentless waves. She tried to tell herself that it was over, that he had her now secure in his arms and yet the last three months of merciless torture, the thirst raging through her body as hot as the fire beside them, the guilt and the shame at the human blood coursing through her veins, were not so easily banished.
"Jasper…" she gasped betweens the sobs wracking her fragile frame. "Oh, Jasper…"
"Shhh..." Jasper cooed, smoothing his hand down her cheek before lifting it to slip his fingers into her hair. "It's okay. I'm here now…" he promised, scooping her up in his arms and hugging her close to him. He moved his hand to cradle her head against his chest as he started toward the exit.
Alice collapsed against Jasper's chest as he pulled her in, curling up into a little ball in his arms. "All those people..." she mumbled, incoherent with hunger. "I couldn't... They made me watch... I didn't want to see it anymore… I almost-" She made a little retching noise before her sobs increased in intensity as she thought about the woman she had almost killed and all the faces of the ones that had come before her, their screams echoing in her confused and foggy brain.
Jasper listened quietly to Alice's incoherent ramblings. Perhaps, Maria's torturous treatment had done more to her mentally than he thought. Or perhaps he'd done it when he'd convinced her he didn't love her. Whatever the cause, Jasper felt a wave of concern wash through him. Her words were disturbing and hearing them made him feel sickened. "Alice... I..." he began, releasing a minor dose of his calming influence to stay her shaky frame. "I promise, I will never allow harm to come to you again…"
Alice shuddered as her mind flashed from one memory to another, a tiny hand fisting in his shirt. "I couldn't…get away…I ran so…fast but…and I couldn't…couldn't find you…and I wanted to…I wanted…but I couldn't…and the blood…the blood…and her face…and the screaming…" With a weary sigh her fingers fell away from his shirt, her hand going limp and her arm dropping to dangle toward the ground.
Her eyes were nearly black save for the reddish tint to them from the human blood she'd been forced to partake in. He'd find a place with wildlife and make sure she got something to eat. He knew she was weak and hunting was out of the question. He would have to take down something himself and bring it to her. He didn't want to leave her side for a moment and he would find a way to get food in her system without having to do so. "I'll never leave you again, I promise…" he soothed, tilting his face down to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'm so sorry..."
"Not…your fault…" she said, straining to speak around the dry, unbearable ache in her throat. Her eyes closed against the pain it caused her and she swallowed with great difficulty. "I was so scared... I thought you'd never...find me..."
"I know…" he sympathized, sadness swelling up inside of him. He'd done something that, even though was clearly a ploy to save her, had been something he'd never thought he'd do. He'd told her he didn't love her and, not only that, had kissed Maria in front of her and had offered to take her life. Guilt flooded through him, as these fresh new memories imprinted in his brain. He found himself speeding up, suddenly not able to get away from that place fast enough.
As they emerged from the barn orange lit shone on Alice's eyelids. She opened them only to shrink away from the sun and the blinding light cast off their skin, huddling deeper into Jasper's chest and hiding her face. It was too bright. She couldn't remember the last time she had been outside, away from that dark place and all its horrors. She contented herself with breathing deeply of the fresh air instead…air that wasn't with the scents of those who had hurt her or the overpowering smell of human blood.
The land surrounding the barn was barren, parched patches of grass, sand and cacti. The sun was in full swing, rainbows dancing off their skin in fractured facets. His several newly made scars had already begun to heal. His eyebrows furrowed in concern as she began to ramble in incoherence, mumbling in a voice barely audible to his own ears. Despite her rambling, he understood the trauma and he not only sympathized but he empathized with her as well.
"So…what do we have on the menu here..." he mused, puckering his eyebrows. "Coyote, rattle snake which probably doesn't sound good. Prairie dog, rabbit, fox… Anything sound good?" he asked.
Alice tried to focus on the list of animals he rattled off but it was hard to concentrate on any one thing. Instead the ache in her throat simply increased with each one he named making her head swim even more in desperate hunger as she hid her face in the darkness under his arm. "Thirsty…but she wouldn't…and I begged…but…anything…anything at all sounds…good…I'm just…so thirsty…and they said no…the humans were crying…and screaming, Jasper…screaming…!"
The faintest of frowns graced his lips as she burrowed herself into his arms. She was safe now and she would always be safe. He made a silent vow to never let her out of his sight again and he would stick to it, no matter what.
Jasper walked swiftly, sniffing the air tentatively as they tracked across the desert. The air was dry and scents were scarce but he did manage to catch something on the breeze. It was faint, about two miles north. The scent was similar to wolf but different. Coyote. Jasper's mouth flickered in a smile and he started off in the direction of the scent. Unlike the forest there was no cover, no shadows. He would have to run it down.
The air was fresh but dry and it made her throat hurt even more as she sucked another breath into her lungs. It felt like inhaling ground glass and yet she was grateful for it. Each painful breath washed away the stench of the barn. On her next breath she scented something that caused a hiss to seep from between her clenched teeth. It was some sort of animal, his blood faint on the still air but calling to her nonetheless.
"Thirsty…so thirsty…" she moaned.
"I know, darlin'…" he soothed. "We'll find you something soon."
Because of his extra sensitive sight and his attuned hearing, Jasper was able to pinpoint the exact location of the coyote about mile off sniffing around in the sand, perhaps searching for a rodent of some kind. He picked up his pace as the scent got stronger and within moments they were less the a quarter mile from the animal. They were down wind, thankfully. Jasper sat Alice down gently and kissed the top of her head. "I'll be right back," he promised and blazed off after the coyote.
Alice whimpered to find herself suddenly alone. Unable to do anything else she curled into a little ball, bringing her hands up over her head to block out the excruciatingly bright sun that seemed to be coming from every direction, relentless.
The coyote wasn't hard to catch, just hard not to kill. Jasper secured the snapping animal in his arms, holding him in an embrace that would incapacitate him and flashed back to Alice. "Dinner is served," he beamed and bent down next to her, wrenching his arms around the animal's neck to kill it before offering it to her. "Hungry?"
Alice sniffed the air with undeniable interest, turning her head weakly in the direction of the scent that both set her on fire and promised her redemption from the burn. Without opening her eyes she blindly found her way to the animal's neck, seeking it by smell alone. Her lips parted over her teeth and she slowly sank them into the fur and flesh, an ecstatic moan rising from her throat as she fed for the first time in what seemed an eternity.
Jasper crouched nearby, watching the desperation in which Alice fed. She would need more, but he hoped that the coyote would get her through for a few hours, until they could get to more plentiful wildlife.
Alice drank as deeply as she could but all too soon the coyote had run dry. She grunted her dissatisfaction and released the animal's throat to fall back onto the sandy ground, coughing and sputtering. The dark bruises still marred the delicate skin under her eyes which she kept squeezed shut, the pain of the too bright sun only second to the thirst which still threatened to consume her.
Jasper waited quietly until she had finished her meal before he stood, shrugging out of his coat. He wrapped it tenderly around her to cover her up and scooped her up in his arms. "We'll get you some more… I promise."
The next morning found Jasper and Alice in Chihuahua, Mexico, fairly close to the Mexico/Texas border by the Rio Grande River. The town was small, made up of adobe buildings lining the solitary dirt road. Cars were few and far between, being that the town was quite poor and most of the citizens walked on foot.
Alice had grown quiet the last few hours as he had carried her over the terrain. Only the slightest change in her breathing had alerted her to the fact that he was now walking and not running. Curious as to why and hoping that it meant another meal to ease her suffering, she peeked out from under the folds of Jasper's coat only to recoil against him at what met her eyes.
Jasper hugged Alice closely as they entered town just before dawn. They would have to find shelter soon with the sun coming up in less than an hour. He shifted her weight over to one arm and drew his sunglasses out of his pocket to promptly put them over his eyes. "It's okay," he assured her as she chanced a peek and drew back within his arms.
"They can't…see me! My face…my eyes…your eyes…and the sun…the sun is…coming up! Too bright…too bright…" She grabbed the fabric of his coat a shaky hand and pulled it back over her face as she burrowed into his chest.
"It's okay. Already taken care of..." He assured her as they approached the door of an inn. "We'll drop in here for awhile…" he said, gracing a slight smile and pulling open the door to slip inside.
The dry desert air outside had contained the scents of humans but they had been faint, dispersed in the openness of the street. It had been painful but nothing like the overwhelming burn which she now faced as Jasper carried her inside. The smell of human blood here was almost as strong to her as it had been inside the barn. She swallowed against the fire in her throat, trembling as she clenched her teeth against a mindless, hunger-driven yowl.
Upon entrance, Jasper felt venom pool in his mouth from the enticing scents layering the air inside of the inn. The burn in his throat flared, despite the fact that he'd fed only hours prior to their arrival. The uncomfortable feelings Alice was currently exuding infiltrated his own emotional climate and spiked his own thirst and desire in reflection of her own. He swallowed against the excruciating raw ache and stepped up to the little front desk, applying a small dosage of his influence to keep her calm and under control.
Alice sniffed the air against her will, unable to resist instinctually sampling the smell of human on the air in spite of the revulsion it caused her on a more conscious level. She hadn't been this thirsty since the night she had first opened her eyes to this life and that hunger brought back a slew of unpleasant memories from both the past and her recent time under Maria's tortures. She growled low in her throat, too low for any human to hear, before Jasper's influence swept over her and rendered her slightly more tame. Truly she felt like some wild thing, everything about her that was happy and good had been pushed aside, banished by the thirst and the undeniable desire for blood.
The small, plump woman behind the counter looked up as they approached, her eyes going wide to see him carrying a human sized bundle wrapped in his dirty coat. Still she caught herself, stretching a wide smile, in greeting. "Can I help you?" she asked, in Spanish.
Jasper graced her with a smile. "Si," he answered. "We'd like a room, please," he replied in her language as he reached into his pocket and pressed a wad of bills onto the counter. He didn't bother to check the amount as he was in a hurry but felt sure the amount was far more than what was required.
"Oh, si, si," she replied, holding up a finger and turned to fish for a key.
Jasper eyed Alice quickly to make sure she was still under control. The woman's scent burned his own throat so he couldn't imagine what she was going through right now.
Alice peered out from the folds of Jasper's coat, her eyes glittering with hunger from the darkness it afforded her. The woman's heart was pounding in her ears, the bloodlust making her lips curl back from her teeth in the same instant that shame flooded through her at her weakness. This was not who she had been before. These urges, these horrible desires had not been a part of her for nearly two decades and she wondered pitifully if they would ever go away again. What if Maria had awakened some sleeping monster within her? What if she had been altered forever?
"Here, you go," the innkeeper replied and held out a room key with a number 6 on the blunt of it. "Room six," she directed, pointing her finger down the right hall.
Jasper nodded to her in acknowledgement and started off with Alice in his arms.
"Gracias!" she called after them.
"Danada! Buenos Nochos!" Jasper answered in parting and hurried off down the hall wanting to get Alice seclusion before she lost control or before his influence wore off.
The inn seemed to be nearly empty because as Jasper carried her down the hall the scent of human became stale, less fresh. Humans had stayed in these rooms and the leftover traces of their occupancy were certainly painful, but they were old scents, the humans they belonged to having long since departed. Alice gave a little groan, shifting her weight in his arms to press her nose against his shirt so that she could inhale a deep breath of his scent to wash her airways clean of human and blood.
Jasper shifted Alice's weight to one arm and unlocked the door to their room. Upon opening the door he carried her across the threshold and made sure to close it behind him, cutting off the scents from the hall and the surrounding rooms. Faint scents clung to the air in this room as well but nothing that stirred Jasper's hunger as a more fresh scent would. He carried her across the room and gently laid her down on the bed, sitting beside her as he stroked his fingers in a comforting manner through her hair.
"It'll all be okay," he soothed, gracing a soft smile. "As soon as you're strong enough, we'll fly out to Alaska and find your coven. I think I can do it now..." he said, hopeful.
Alice squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing against the pain in her throat. "Your...coven...too," she whispered. "Family..."
"Yes, my coven too," he chuckled as a smile broke across his face. "Our family, which is why I know you're strong enough to overcome this. You did it for 28 years, without any guidance," he encouraged.
"Wasn't...this hard...before," she gasped. "Never...tasted..." The memory of the woman's blood flared within her, the sweet taste of it blurring out her horror at the memory of the fear in her eyes. She groaned in response to the thing that she craved most but which also disgusted her at the same time. The blood of the few animals Jasper had provided for her on the way there had tasted hollow compared to that poor human.
"Because you'd never tasted human blood before. You had nothing to compare it to…" His voice was sympathetic, understanding. The burn left from the taste of human blood would always be present, a lingering itch, a longing that would be hard to overcome by the animal blood. "I'm not going to lie. It's going to be difficult to overcome now that you've tasted it... But, I have faith in you," he encouraged.
Alice grimaced at the memory. "That poor woman...I was trying to...save her...the only way I...could... I would have rather...starved...than hurt her..."
"Shhh. It's okay…" Jasper cooed as he smoothed his fingers down her back. "I know and I'm sorry you had to endure that…"
"You saved her…when I couldn't…you gave her peace…"
"I suppose, I did," he admitted with a weak smile. "No one deserves that..."
"Will I...ever be the...same...?" she asked, feeling a sob rise on her throat which she promptly swallowed.
"I think over time you'll overcome it, yes," he offered with an encouraging smile and, to emphasize his words, he slid his hand around her back and trailed his fingers up and down her spine.
Alice gave a little sigh at the feel of his fingers sweeping up and down her back. Besides the bed it was the softest, most wonderful thing she had felt in a long time.
She shook her head, trying to remove the haze from her brain. It was still so hard to think clearly. Her mind was swirling with images though it was hard for her to tell which ones were the past, the present or the future. Memories, hallucinations, visions and even this room and Jasper by her side all came together to form an incomprehensible fog. She reached out to take Jasper's hand, hoping the feel of it would keep her grounded in the present. She didn't want to see anything else but Jasper right now.
Jasper took Alice's hand into his with a quiet smile, flipping his hand over in hers to twine their fingers together. "I love you..." he soothed, casting his gaze over her. The vacancy that had occupied her eyes since he'd departed with her flashed a glimmer of hope as the fog began to lift.
"Love you too..." she stammered, grasping his hand a little harder. Opening her eyes she found him staring at her. "No…" she protested. "Look horrible…"
"I've not seen you in three months." He quirked a smile. "You could never look more beautiful. I'm just grateful you're alive."
Her brow furrowed as a new barrage of images flashed through her mind, threatening to overwhelm her and become more convincing than reality. A vision... But of what? The idea terrified her and she fought to keep it at bay. Just Jasper... She didn't want anything but him.
The tension flowing through her hand as she gripped his caused his eyebrows to knit together in concern. Subtly, he released a small dosage of his influence to calm her nerves. "Shhh. It's okay..." he cooed, trailing his fingers up and down her back lazily as his influence infiltrated her own emotional climate to stay the trembling in her body.
Jasper's gift was irresistible and with its calming influence the vision finally washed over her like a tidal wave, unwilling to be held off any longer and she had no choice but to succumb. What greeted her eyes, however, was not unpleasant and a weak smile flickered over her lips.
"I'm Alice..." she said to the man with the blonde hair and kind eyes. "And this...is my husband...Jasper. And I know you...Carlisle...all of you... Traveled so far..." One of her hands rose off the bed to touch his face. When they closed on nothing but air she frowned slightly. "Not real...not yet..."
Jasper's eyebrows puckered together in confusion as Alice began speaking to someone named Carlisle, a someone that wasn't there. "Alice?" he asked, alarmed. Was this some kind of illusion? A hallucination from the damage Maria had caused? Or the blood lust? "Alice?" His voice was urgent, as his face moved within inches of hers and his hand moved to cup her cheek. He felt a wave of relief wash through him when Alice pulled away from the hallucination.
"Carlisle was...talking to me."
"Carlisle?" Jasper questioned, giving her a quizzical look of disbelief. "There wasn't anyone here, love," he murmured, lifting an eyebrow.
"It seemed so real... It's hard to see...things right now. They feel real and I can't...tell what is real or a memory or a...vision. It's hard to concentrate... So thirsty still... So tired..."
Whether she was going crazy or not she was obviously fatigued from the trauma and he thought it his duty as her husband to hold her in such a situation and so he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close.
"Thank...you..." she murmured, weakly squeezing his fingers.
"You're welcome..." he cooed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Second time you saved my life..." she said with a weak laugh.
"Well, your worth saving..." he chuckled, closing the distance between his lips and hers and pressing a soft kiss there in hopes that this little distraction would help.
Her mouth went slack under his, a little groan escaping her lips at the delicious sensation of being kissed by him again. She had thought such a thing lost to her forever so many times over the last three months and just as many times if not more over the course of this one single day.
The scent of her breath and the softness in the way her lips moved against his, up until now, had been something short of a dream. It had been a distant memory that he thought he would never be able to feel again. His lips parted against hers, as he drew himself closer to her and let himself become enveloped in her.
Alice pulled away for a moment to look up into his beautiful face with her black, midnight eyes. She wanted to bring a hand to his face, wanted to trace her fingers over her favorite dimple but she didn't yet have the ability to do so. "Being away from you was...its own torture and yet...at the same time...I hoped you'd stay away."
"I would never stay away…" he gasped against her lips. "I can't be without you, ever," he breathed and resumed the kiss.
Having a limited amount strength in her starved body Alice chose to let all the muscles in her body go lax, focusing instead on returning his kiss on other things that didn't require she move at all. The way his body was pressed against her, the warmth of it and how it made her feel alive once again, the way his hands seemed to pull her ever closer…
The sudden distraction seemed to work and he couldn't help but smile against her lips when he tested her mood, to find that the anxiety that had just moments ago racked her body was almost gone. The sweet orchid and citrus scent of her breath stirred against his lips sending a feeling of pure intoxication through him, scrambling his thoughts and drawing him into her. He lowered her down against mattress and moved to hover over her, slipping one hand down to curl around her calf. The months of absence from her had caused a withdrawal too strong to ignore and now having her back safely in his arms caused every unfulfilled emotion in his body to come forth in a rush.
Alice felt like she was drowning in him. He was everywhere, all around her…his scent, his hands. She tried to lift her arms so that she could wrap them around him, possibly to never let him go, but her muscles wouldn't obey. A frustrated groan escaped her lips followed by a sob which had more to do with joy than anything else. Her emotions were a confusing jumble, so many things warring within her all at once. Relief, pain, happiness, guilt, gratitude, shame… She took another deep breathe, pulling his familiar smell into her lungs in hopes that it would calm her but it only increased her desire to weep. Lying there, wrapped up in him again, safe and secure for the first time in so long was an overwhelming thing.
Jasper felt himself losing control and it was with great difficulty that he pulled himself back to level his gaze on hers. The concern in his eyes was evident as he moved to cup her cheek with his hand. How thoughtless would he have been to put his own needs before hers and for this he felt selfish and guilty as he shifted himself off of her and took a seat next to her. Her warring emotions were full of conflict as one tried to dominate the other. "I'm sorry..." he murmured, casting her an apologetic look for the way he'd acted. "Are you, thirsty?" he asked, reaching down to entwine their fingers.
The look she gave him was pitiful. With great effort she managed a nod. "But the sun is out…" she mumbled, her brow furrowing.
Jasper's gaze shifted to the window. "I know..." he drawled, quietly. "I was trying to plan ahead for this evening…" He managed a slight smile as his gaze moved over her features.
Alice grimaced. It was such a long time until then, so many hours… Still, there wasn't anything to be done. The inn provided safety from Maria. Even with her newborn army mostly destroyed, they were still in her territory. It was better to stay in the towns they came across near as many humans as possible.
During her three months in captivity, Alice had learned many things about the woman who had turned and, for a time, brainwashed Jasper. Besides her merciless cruelty, Alice had realized she was extremely careful. It was the reason she had survived for so long. And being careful, she would most likely not risk an attack if it involved exposure. However, besides her careful nature, she was also quite obviously insane. The two qualities were a contradiction and her anger would decide which she allowed to win over. Alice's eyes, too, strayed to the window and she shuddered.
Alice's insecurity cut through the air causing Jasper to turn a questioning look to her. Concern washed over his face and he needed no words to indicate that he was implying about the shudder, as he lifted an eyebrow. His fingers lifted her face to brush her cheek, moving to tuck a lock of her hair back. The source of that shudder was undoubtedly from the fact that they were still in Maria's territory and Alice was on edge. "Soon..." he amended, with a weak smile. Soon they would be out of Mexico. As soon as Alice's strength was back they would catch a plane to Alaska and meet up with the others. Maria would be a distant memory.
Alice wondered at what he meant. Soon she could feed? Soon they would be gone from this place? Either way, both promised relief.
His gaze scanned over her taking in her appearance, his grin growing slightly. "Here," he murmured, shrugging out of his coat and sliding over to her to wrap it around her shoulders and help her into it. "It's not much, but it will do the trick until night fall."
Alice remembered the sight of herself in the mirror that Maria had afforded her, a way to break her spirit in addition to her attempts to get her to feed on a human. Her dirty face, her sunken cheeks, her matted hair… She had looked like a corpse that had just clawed her way through six feet of earth to emerge from her grave. Second only to blood, she craved a bath and a fresh set of clothes. For now, she supposed, Jasper's coat would have to do.
Jasper was sure Alice was probably pining for a bath. She hated even the concept of being dirty, especially for so long. "How about a bath?" Jasper inquired, with an attentive smile and slid off the bed.
Despite her hunger and exhaustion, Alice's eyes widened, her face lighting up ever so slightly. She made a little noise, half sigh, half moan.
He crossed the room, turning just before he entered the bathroom. "One moment," he promised, disappearing into the bathroom and closing the door with a click behind him.
Once inside, Jasper started the water to fill the tub while he scurried about the bathroom and raided the closet of the guest shampoos and soap to delicately line them along the rim. He stopped the water and checked the temperature with a satisfied smile, then flitted out of the bathroom and scooped Alice up in his arms. "Bath time," he chuckled and flitted off to the bathroom with her in his arms.
"Have I told you…today that I love you?" she whispered, letting her head fall against his shoulder. "You just don't know…"
"Well...I had some intuition," he chuckled, a knowing smile flickering over his lips. Alice's elation seemed to suddenly explode as soon as they'd stepped through the bathroom door. "I need no words to know you love me. It's there," he promised, with a knowing smile and lowered her down from his arms, being sure to keep one arm braced around her in case she was too weak to walk and stripped the dirty gown off of her, before scooping her back up and lowering her gently into the water. He slid to his knees beside the tub in preparation to wash her hair.
Alice's eyes rolled back in her head with a groan of pleasure as the warm water enveloped her. It was such a simple thing, a bath…one that she had often taken for granted in the past but now she didn't think herself capable of ever doing so again. It was heaven, only made more so by the angel's face she saw before her when she again opened her eyes. She smiled up at him, happy and content. Her thirst, which had seemed so undeniable only moments before, drifted to the edge of her consciousness, still there but not as immediate in its urgency.
Jasper chuckled, watching Alice practically melt into the water. The elation rolling off of her was a welcoming feeling infiltrating his emotional climate. He gave a soft smile as he cupped his hands and dipped them down into the water. He poured the small pool of water cupped in hands over Alice's head, watching as it slicked flat her hair against her skull. "You're happy," he noted, his voice colored with a feeling of warmth.
"Ecstatic…" she moaned, tilting her head back and luxuriating in the feel of the water running over her hair and down her back.
He squeezed some shampoo into his hands and began massaging his fingers against her scalp to work up a lather. The scent was not unpleasant. It was something of a mixture of floral scents. Regardless, he was sure Alice was currently in heaven. "How are we doing?" he asked, smiling down at her.
Alice practically purred, arching her back as his fingers worked in what she could only describe as magic. Already she was feeling more like herself despite the human blood running through her veins and the fierce thirst beating just at the back of her mind. "Wonderful…" she sighed in answer to his question. And for the first time in three months it was true. She closed her eyes with another moan.
Jasper chuckled as his fingers danced across her scalp, massaging in the shampoo. Alice's contentment was quite obvious as she practically melted under his touch. Once finished with the lathering, Jasper moved on to dip some water up from the water and poured it over her head. He made sure to check between rinses to make sure he got all the soap.
He flashed around from behind her and grabbed a washcloth, dipping it in the water to get it wet and lather it up with soap. Chuckling, he moved in and pressed the tip of it against her cheek, moving it in small circles to work off all the dirt.
"Am I…still under there?" she asked with a breathy laugh.
"Somewhere," he chuckled as he began working to remove the rest of the dirt from her face.
She turned her head toward him, the smile playing around her lips disappearing as she met his eyes. Her face crumpled in pain for a moment before she shook her head, swallowing against the burn in her throat. "I'm sorry. I just thought… I never thought I'd…see you again. I kept looking for you…in my mind…but I couldn't see if you'd…find me. And I wanted you to but…I didn't…I didn't want her anywhere…near you. I didn't…want you to…" A single sob broke forth from her and she raised a hand to press his against her cheek.
His hand faltered and paused as Alice's emotions shifted from elation to sadness. He puckered his eyebrows and leveled his gaze on hers as she clasped his hand to her cheek. "I'm here," he began slowly. Alice's emotions were ever changing, ranging from distraught to briefly elated and back again. He knew and he understood why which didn't stop the pang of guilt from searing through him. "I'll never leave you again. I promise," he said, quirking the lopsided smile she loved so much. He meant it. No matter what, he would never leave her side again. Whether it was a battle, a hunting trip, shopping or whatever else Alice chose to do he would be there, steadfast and faithful.
"It's okay..." he murmured, leaning in and wrapping his arms around her. He didn't care if he got wet or not, Alice needed him and if it was a hug she required, then she would get one. "I love you," he whispered. "We'll leave as soon as possible."
Alice nodded, leaning her head against his arm. "I love you…more than anything. More than my own life…which is why when you walked…in that barn…my heart both broke and was put back…together again. I didn't care if…she killed me…as long as you were…far away and safe." She turned her head and pressed a soft kiss to his forearm, his shirtsleeve soaked through from the bath water.
Though Alice's words were soft, they rang clear with the overwhelming love that she felt for him. He closed his eyes, taking in her voice, a voice that for close to three months seemed to be just a distant echo. The soft press of her lips against his arm caused a smile to quirk at his lips, one of relief that after so long, he finally had her back in his arms, safe. He withdrew and pressed his lips together in response. "What is the purpose of my life without you in it?" he asked as if the answer should be obvious as he finished cleaning her face before, moving on to clean the rest of her.
Alice stared at him for a moment, her expression still pained despite the slight smile that played over her lips. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as he ran the washcloth down her neck and then to her shoulders. The sensation should have been more relaxing to her but a small thread of worry continued to infiltrate her mind. "You don't think…she will come after us, do you?"
"No," he replied in confidence. "She won't make the same mistake twice." His words were reassuring, without a hint of concern in his tone. "Besides, if she does you'll see it and we'll be prepared."
He held little faith in Maria resurfacing, due to the fact she'd just lost her entire army and in the time it would take to create new ones and control them, he and Alice would be gone. She wouldn't try something so brazen on her own without back up. She held her own self preservation too high and if she didn't have the advantage she wouldn't start a fight.
Jasper's words eased her worry a little but she still couldn't banish Maria's face from her mind, laughing and cruel. "I didn't know…such evil could exist in the world," she said, her voice strained by the burning in her throat. It was a little easier to speak, though, with Jasper's hands roving over her body. They distracted her from the thirst just enough to allow it. "I guess that was me…being naïve again. Helpless and weak…like she said…"
Jasper had described the evils of the world to her when they'd first met but had left out some of the more frightening things, not wanting to disturb her too much. She'd seen and experienced a part of his life that he had never wanted her to know about in anything more than stories. She'd seen the monster inside of him first hand, had seen the potency of his gift and she had thought he would kill her. He had hurt her in order to save her and still felt a swell of guilt inside of him for doing so. He wasn't sure how many times he could apologize before the guilt would fade. Perhaps never. His hands lifted to cup her cheeks and as he did so he pulled her gaze to his. "I promise, I'll never leave you defenseless again. I will defend you with my life and you will never be harmed again." His words were soft, but he meant them.
Alice shook her head ever so slightly. "You didn't…you didn't leave me defenseless. I was going to fight…there were just too many."
"I should've never left you alone," Jasper argued, knowing that if he would've just stayed behind and waited, or made her go along, then she would have never been taken. He sighed quietly and pursed his lips, dropping his gaze from hers. "I should've waited or had you go along…" he murmured, guilt coloring his tone.
"Shhhh…" she said, leaning her head back onto his arm and pressing another kiss there. "Even I didn't see…that coming and I'm the…fortune teller."
Jasper's lips lifted into a smile as her lips pressed against his arm. "I know…but still it won't quell my guilt," he admitted, with a sigh.
"I did manage to…bite a few of them," she said with a weak smile, her voice rough and raspy. "Only seemed…to make them more angry... Made me feel better…though."
Her admittance caused him to smirk. "You bit them?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow as his eyes drew back to hers.
"Yes…and kicked some of them, too... One of them lost a few fingers…I was proud of that…"
Jasper couldn't help but chuckle. She'd fought back and even though the odds were clearly stacked against her favor, he felt a swell of pride that she had done so.
"I want to learn more…" she managed to say. "I want you to train me the way…you trained the newborn armies… I don't want to be…weak anymore…"
Jasper knew he could never leave Alice defenseless and unprotected. Training her was the best way to ensure his peace of mind, that she would be safe. But at the same time it also meant that she could get overzealous and get hurt which would be something he would never be able to forgive himself for. It was with this realization and the urgency placed behind it that Jasper made his decision. "Alright," he murmured, mustering a smile for her. "I'll teach you everything you need to know."
Alice smiled slightly. "Maybe then the next time…there's danger, I'll be the one…protecting you." Her laughter was a raspy cough escaping her parched throat, a poor imitation of the way it had sounded before this whole ordeal. She frowned at the sound of it, swallowing another mouthful of venom in hopes that it would help. At least it was wet.
Jasper didn't like the thought of Alice putting her life on the line and the very image pushing its way through his mind caused him to purse his lips. "We'll see..." he murmured, flashing her a brittle smile. He would train Alice to fight, yes. But he would make sure he did everything in his power when or if the next time did arrive to make sure Alice had nothing to do but watch.
Alice closed her eyes and leaned her head back, understanding Jasper's statement and the intentions behind them perfectly. "Yes, we will…" she agreed.
Jasper's lips quirked into a smile as he leaned down and pulled the plug to drain the bath water. "Let's get you dried off." He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and readily scooped her out of the tub. Hugging her close to him, he grabbed a towel off of a hook in the wall and wrapped her in a cocoon of warmth. "There," he cooed and whisked her out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
Alice giggled, the sound still lacking its bell-like quality but missing none of her usual child-like enthusiasm as she burrowed into Jasper's chest, happy and content.
Jasper lowered her from his arms and onto the bed, gently taking the towel from around her and began going about drying her off.
Alice stared up at him, her eyes slowly drifting over every line of his face with loving adoration as he moved the towel over her body. His familiar face caused her to purr in contentment almost as much as the movements of his hands. He had always been a part of her and she couldn't live her life without him.
"I love you," she whispered. "I've said that a lot today…I know…but it doesn't make it any…less true. I love you…so much."
Jasper's lips curved into a smile. "I love you too," he murmured as he finished drying her off. Letting the towel slip to the floor, he leaned in and took a breath of her scent as if rememorizing it and pressed a kiss to her forehead, dropping his head to let it rest against her shoulder. "I missed you so much."
"I thought I would die…from being away from you…long before she could kill me," she confessed, turning her face into his curls and concentrating on the easy rise and fall of his chest.
"I was afraid I was too late," he mumbled. Closing his eyes and turning toward her he pressed his face into her neck as his arm wound around her waist.
Alice closed her eyes, a slight moan escaping her at the feel of his lips hovering just against her skin, his arm draping over her to hold her close. "Jasper?" she asked, her voice barely more than a breath on the air.
"Yes, darlin'?" he asked softly as he gently slid his hand across the planes of her stomach and traced his fingers lazily up her abdomen.
She raised her hand and weakly moved it to his shirtfront, her fingers clumsily attempting to undo the buttons there. "Jasper…" she whispered.
Jasper lifted his hand away from her waist and clasped it around her own to stay her shaky fingers as she attempted to undo the buttons on his shirt. "Alice, what are you-" he began, shock coloring his tone. "Alice you're weak. I don't think it would be proper of me to allow you to do this…" He hated rebuffing her but she was still quite weak and it would have been rude of him to take advantage of her in such a state.
"Jasper, I need you…" she breathed, her voice pleading. "I don't want to think…about everything in my mind right now. I just want you…"
"Alice, I..." he began in protest but his words fell into silence. He could deny her nothing and if this was what she wanted then she would get her way. Despite his reservations about it he found himself lulled by her voice and her smell as his lips found hers.
Alice watched with avid interest as the light outside the curtains grew more and more dim. The ache in her throat flared, pulsing to life like a living thing. Jasper had kept her more than occupied in the previous hours but now her mind was focused solely on her thirst.
Jasper's chest rose and fell in a regular manner as he drew in her scent with each breath, the very scent that would help to keep him grounded in years to come. His eyes were closed and a smile curved his lips in a peaceful manner as if he were dreaming. His thoughts hovered on Alice's face, the curves and dips of her body, the feel of her skin against his own and the very thought of finally being reunited with her to spend the rest of his existence at her side. Although his eyes remained closed, his eyebrows puckered as Alice's content mood shifted to hunger. The feeling radiating off of her clung to his skin like the itchiest of wools. "Are you hungry?" he asked, concern coloring his tone as his eyes fluttered open.
Alice closed her eyes and nodded. She had held the discomfort off for as long as she could and now that discomfort had become an unbearable torture. She tried to speak but the effort caused her to descend into a coughing fit which began to sound more like choking than anything else. "Burning…" she managed to say between gasps. "Hurts so badly…"
Jasper's own throat tightened in regards to Alice's hunger and without a word he sat up and leaned over her as he reached over the edge of the bed to snag his coat off of the floor. He drew himself back up out of the awkward position and laid the coat beside him as he helped Alice to sit up and pulled his coat over her, meticulously helping to get her arms in the sleeves. He slid around her and slipped off the bed, grabbing his belt off of the floor and looped it around her waist, fastening it around her.
Alice looked down at herself, raising her arms as much as she could to examine the way the too long sleeves hung from her hands, the belt that was needed to cinch the extra material around her tiny waist... She looked like a little girl playing dress up in her father's coat.
Jasper's lips quirked into a smile as he watched Alice examine herself in his jacket. "It'll have to do for now..." he said in defense of his jacket at her displeasure.
Alice smiled, moving her hands and watching the sleeves flop around. "I was just thinking...it's funny. You're so much...bigger than me."
Jasper chuckled. "Yes, well... Isn't it supposed to be that way?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow.
He turned toward his own clothing and moved around in quick darts as he picked up the pieces and rapidly dressed within a matter of seconds. "Then we shall hunt," he promised, letting a smile curve his lips as he straightened out his shirt and flashed to the bed, scooping her up in his arms.
Alice groaned in anticipation. Soon...soon... Her mind raced at the possibility of once again feeling relief from the pain as she nestled against his chest, excitement coursing through her.
Jasper's throat flared again, as a sign of the urgency and anticipation rolling off of Alice. "Soon." He promised, as he carried her out of the room and out toward the exit of the hotel...
She nodded her understanding, swallowing another mouthful of venom and yearning for the moment when it would be blood instead.
Once they got far enough into the desert like terrain, away from civilization, Jasper flew into a sprint. The appearance of fences just ahead of them brought hope, as a reflective smirk appeared on his lips. "Are you against beef?" he teased.
"Right now...I'm not against anything," she whispered in her raspy voice.
"Then beef it is," he affirmed with a sharp nod. He flung himself over the fence without breaking stride and landed with a soft thud, ghosting off across the terrain.
Alice's head whipped around in the direction of the multiple scents drifting on the breeze. Her mouth flooded with venom and a low groan rose from her throat. Never before had she thought cow had smelled appealing but in that moment she had never encountered anything more wonderful.
He only slowed his pace as the offensive odor caught his nose. It was worse than anything he'd ever smelt and the assault caused his nose to crinkle. "We must be close." He grimaced and halted his movement as the distinct sounds of several large hearts infiltrated his hearing. "There's so many... There must be close to thirty five different beats…" he whispered. "Are you strong enough to take one down?" he asked, concern coloring his tone.
Alice thought about it for a moment, eyeing a cow with undeniable hunger flashing in her eyes. "I don't think I can...stand but they aren't running. Lift me up...to one." The ache in her throat flared, rising to a whole new level of burning, unbelievable in its intensity as she reached out a trembling hand towards one of the massive beasts. The sound of its heart nearly drove her over the edge of sanity.
Cows were the last thing he would ever think to kill but they were large, slow and fairly stupid. Alice was weak and couldn't withstand hunting anything quicker and easier spooked. The thirty odd animals were scattered around in a loose cluster, grazing and blissfully unaware of any danger. "Of course," he agreed and flashed over to the side of one of the cows and quickly swung her on top of it.
Alice's eyes widened in surprise to find herself suddenly on the animal's back but it was short lived. The scent was overpowering and she could almost feel the throbbing of its heart beneath her. With hardly a second's hesitation Alice leaned forward with a hungry snarl and sunk her teeth into the animal's neck. The instant gush of blood was beyond gratifying and her eyes rolled back in her head as she latched on. Her arms weren't long enough to wrap around the cow's neck so instead she grabbed onto its ears to keep herself from sliding off onto the ground.
Jasper took a couple of steps back and watched in quiet satisfaction as Alice fed. The other cows around them either stared or continued to graze, paying no mind to their dying herd mate. Jasper was hungry but not hungry enough to subject himself to cattle. The smell was worse than moose and he was sure it probably tasted just as bad.
As she drank she felt her strength returning. The cow contained a large volume of blood and even after its legs gave out from under it and it collapsed to the ground it was still several more minutes before she had drained the creature dry. With a gasp she tore herself away from its throat and fell back onto the ground, panting and almost full for the first time in three months.
The single cow seemed to be slaking her thirst rather significantly because the burning hunger that had once been a part of the atmosphere was almost completely gone. He linked his hands together behind his back, watching patiently while she finished her meal, ghosting over to her side as she fell back on the ground in satisfaction. "Feeling better?" he asked, tilting his gaze down to her.
Alice nodded, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of the blood working its way through her body, erasing the pain and the fire as it swept through her. "That was the best meal I ever had," she breathed, her voice once again smooth and bell-like. "Even my very first meal doesn't compare."
Jasper chuckled, relieved to see Alice's strength returning. "Well, I wouldn't call it the best meal..." He grimaced, still quite revolted by the smell. "But it'll suffice and it's making you strong so that's all that counts."
She cautiously rolled over to her hands and knees, amazed that she could even hold herself up. It was more than she had been able to do in weeks. She thought about attempting to stand and in the next second she had, her muscles obeying perfectly just as they had before her ordeal. A burst of excitement rushed through her as she looked down at her legs, steady and strong beneath her. She lifted one and wiggled her toes with a child-like giggle.
The excitement coming off of Alice seeped into his own emotional climate causing a wide grin to spread across his face. A look of adoration sparked in his eyes as she got to her feet and wiggled her toes, giggling in exhilaration. The rush of excitement flowing through his body seemed foreign after three months of loss and hopelessness.
"Oh Jasper!" she exclaimed, darting toward him enthusiastically and stumbling only slightly at the last moment to barrel into his arms. "Look! Isn't it wonderful?"
Jasper laughed and pulled her into his arms. "It is!" he agreed, excited. "It feels good to have you back."
She turned her head and hungrily eyed another cow. "I'm still a little thirsty. One more I think..."
"Go for it," he encouraged, gesturing toward the other cows.
Letting go of him she grabbed the excess coat pooling at her feet and hiked it up in her fists. Then with a running leap she sailed through the air, teeth locking onto the animal's neck in the same second that she landed on the creature. Drinking with renewed strength she weakened the cow rather quickly and it soon dropped to the ground. She didn't release her hold, however, until she had secured every last drop.
Jasper let her go and hung back to watch her take down another cow. She needed no help in securing the blood this time. Her strength had returned and Jasper's lips twisted up into a smile of satisfaction as she brought down to animal much quicker then she had before.
Satiated and happy she climbed off the cow's back and flew back to Jasper's side. She reached down and took his hand, bringing it up to her face to press it lovingly against her face. She closed her eyes as she breathed in his scent, happiness radiating off of her in waves before she turned her head to press a kiss against his palm.
Within moments she was back at his side and lifting his hand to her face, love sparking in his eyes as she brought it to rest against the smooth texture of her cheek. A shudder of pleasure washed through him as she pressed a kiss to his palm. Her silky, smooth lips against the sensitive skin there gave him a sensation that he couldn't possibly explain, a feeling so powerful that he thought he might melt.
"Thank you for taking such good care of me," she murmured, stepping into him. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, sighing in contentment.
"You're very welcome," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her. He pulled her close, inhaling her scent, as if for the first time.
"I feel much better." She pulled away from him, lifting a hand to touch her face. "Do I look it?"
"Radiant, as always," he promised, lifting his hand to caress her cheek.
Alice shook her head with a slight smile. "Are you ready to go to Alaska?" she asked, staring up at him.
"Yeah, I think I am," he said, pressing a smile.
"Do you want to see anything in Texas first? Where you were from? Your family?"
He mused over Alice's suggestion and pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Any family I had would probably be dead and even so I can only view them from afar. I wouldn't even know where to start. No, I think I'm ready to get out of here and find our family. I've had enough of the south for awhile," he chuckled with an exasperated sigh.
The way he said 'our family' was not lost on Alice. It made her smile from ear to ear. "I think I've had enough of it here, too," she agreed. "Maybe someday we'll come back and you can show me where you grew up. And maybe someday we'll go back to Biloxi and I can look for answers..."
"Someday," he promised, managing a weak smile. Texas was a far cry from where he wanted to be right now but someday he would return with her.
She tilted her head up to look at him. "I went back with Charlotte to the place where I awoke. It was odd to stand there again."
"You went back?" His expression turned puzzled as his eyebrows pulled together. "Did it spark anything?"
"A sense of dread, a feeling of fear..." she said, her eyebrows knitting together. "Though whether that was reflective of my time before I was a vampire or after I'm not sure. I certainly felt those things after I woke. The first time the sun came out I thought I was on fire!"
"Perhaps both?" he offered, wondering if perhaps the fear and dread she'd felt had been a product of her last moments as a human and had carried over to her vampiric existence. He couldn't help but smile when she mentioned being burned by the sun. It was human knowledge that vampires burned in the sun, a myth that was drilled so strongly into the human population that it was only natural for her to believe so at first. "How long did it take before you realized you wouldn't be burned?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Well I had only been awake a few hours when the sun came up. When I first woke I spent quite a bit of time just lying there. The pain had not yet completely faded. I saw you and it frightened me at first. Your eyes were so red! But then you smiled and you laughed and I could just feel that I loved you, as though my whole world stopped turning. It wasn't until later that I saw my own face in a river and I saw my eyes were red as well..." she trailed off as her mind drifted back to that time.
Jasper's lips curved into a smile. This was the first time Alice had openly spoke about the moments after her change and Jasper couldn't help but hang onto her words in fascination. "So when you said my face was the first vision you'd seen, you meant that quite literally," he concluded.
Alice nodded, taking his hand in hers with a loving smile. "Yes. I opened my eyes and in the next second you were there."
His gaze fell on her hand as a warm smile curved his lips. "As I always will be," he promised softly.
"Then I saw our coven but just flashes of their faces. I had only started to put together what I was when the sun began to rise. I tried to find a place to hide but there wasn't anywhere to go. So I waited for my death. When the sun touched me I screamed but it didn't hurt. I could see the light shining all around me from behind my eyelids and it took me a moment to calm down enough to open my eyes. When I did I was astonished."
The strength in her voice had returned as well as its bell chime tone and he couldn't help but revel in the sound of it. It had been something he'd yearned to hear for months now, fearing that he may never get to hear it again and as she spoke he couldn't help but feel as if he were hearing it for the first time.
"I'm glad it happened when I was still in the forest and not when I was around humans. I'm sure the Volturi would have hunted me down and killed me for sure looking back on it."
The mention of the Volturi wiped clean the smile on his face and it became replaced with a slight frown. The very word sent a shock wave of fear through him, a healthy respect deep within him that would remain with him for the rest of his existence. He didn't like to think about Alice becoming a victim of theirs ever and the very mention of it caused a rush of panic to flood through him.
"Yes, without a doubt," he agreed, his voice tinged with sadness. "But, you didn't," he replied, pulling in a drag of her scent and letting it flood throughout him, allowing it to wash clean any fear that threatened to overtake him.
Alice tilted her head back to look up at him, the corners of her mouth pulling down in a frown. "You're scared. Why?"
"I just don't like to think about you being on the receiving end of their justice," he admitted softly. His eyes were focused far off into the distance as if he were witnessing something unseen. The concern emanating off of her was palpable as he shifted his gaze back down to hers to catch the concern in the depths of her eyes, a reflection of her emotions, and he managed a weak smile for her sake. "I suppose, I have a healthy respect for them."
She reached up and cupped his face in her little hand. She didn't like it when Jasper worried or was upset and she instantly began searching for the words that would bring a smile back to his face. "Well I never saw a vision of them then and I haven't ever since, not even once, so there's no need to worry," she said softly. "We're both safe now. I'll keep us that way always. I'll always be watching."
The moment her little hand touched his face he turned his face toward her palm and pressed a gentle kiss. "You're right. You're absolutely right," he agreed, slipping his arms around her and pulling her to him to let his cheek come to rest on the top of her head. "I'm worrying over nothing…" he said softly. "I could never live with myself if something happened to you. It took everything I had when you got taken by Maria not to fall apart and curl up in a ball on the ground," he admitted in a soft voice. "I felt as if the entire world had been ripped out from under my feet and I was in a sea of nothing…"
Alice's face fell as she wrapped her arms around him. "I know," she whispered. "I saw you. I couldn't see anything else but I could see you running and calling my name over and over again. It nearly drove me mad. At first I tried to push it away because it was unbearable but then after a while I let it fill my mind and I gave up. I just laid there and watched you and tried to block everything else out. The thirst, the torture, the pain... I thought it might be the only way I would ever be with you again." Her hands fisted into the fabric of his shirt, gripping him with a desperation that trembled in her voice. "And the whole time, though I ached to be with you again, I kept hoping you would stop. I wanted you to give up and forget me. I wanted you to stay away, stay safe. I knew she would eventually kill me if you didn't come but I feared she would kill us both if you did. And I just couldn't bear it. I still can't."
Being without Alice even for the few months that they had been apart was a torture that he had never thought possible. All he had been able to think about was finding her and he had given no thought to dying because if he had never found her his life expectancy would have been short. Dying at the hands of Maria would have been a sweet release had Alice already been gone. "I wasn't going to give up until I found you, dead or alive," he mumbled softly. "No matter how much I wanted to wallow in guilt and misery, no matter how much it stung to not have you with me, I couldn't stop until I knew..."
"No matter what happens to me, Jasper...no matter what ever happens, you have to stay safe," she pleaded. "I want to know in my last moments that you will be. And nothing may ever happen. I don't see that it will but it could. I didn't see myself getting kidnapped until it was too late. My gift isn't infallible."
Jasper pursed his lips and dropped his gaze from hers. He didn't want to think about what ifs but he knew his only possible option was to follow her into oblivion. He couldn't go on without her and be a viable living thing. It was unthinkable to believe he could exist without her in any aspect. "I can't live without you, so don't make me." A distinct wave of sadness pierced his eyes. "I can't… I don't want to think about it…" Sadness colored his tone and he closed his eyes, breathing in her scent.
She flinched at the pain in his voice that only moments ago she had worked so hard to soothe away. But this was important to her. The image of Jasper so distraught, so panicked as he had searched for her was burned into her mind. But more than that, it was what she had seen him deciding to do had he been too late that had chilled her to the bone. "Jasper..." she breathed, shaking her head in misery. "I don't want to think of you dying, not ever again. I saw what you were going to do...had I been dead. I watched you die a multitude of ways as your plans on how to go about it changed. Each one ripped me apart inside. I thought I was going to die knowing in my final moment that one of those would come true. That was worse than being hit, worse than any thirst, worse than any torture..."
"I'm sorry..." he mumbled in a soft voice. "But I can't live without you," he reaffirmed in a voice full of conviction. He lifted his hands to grasp both sides of her face and lifted her gaze up to his. "You are my world. You're my optimism, my hope, my whole meaning for existence. If something happened to you, I would never be the same. I could never function without you. I need you…" His voice fell below a whisper.
Alice stared up at him, unable to speak. Sadness filled her eyes and if she could cry she would have. Instead she lifted her hands to clasp his as they cupped her face, her face crumpling in pain.
"We need to get you some clothes…" Jasper commented, trying to get past the sadness currently hanging thick in the air. "Let's stop talking about death, shall we?" he offered, managing a smile. The subject was making Alice worried, sad and upset for no reason.
She nodded, casting her eyes to the ground. When she looked up, a brittle smile quirked the corners of her mouth ever so slightly. "There is a solution, actually. How about neither one of us ever die? Then we don't have to think about what the other would do."
"Deal," Jasper agreed brightly and grinned. "Maybe we should check to make sure the family is still in Alaska," he added, his expression turning thoughtful. "Just in case."
"Probably a good idea," she agreed, turning her eyes away from him to stare into nothing. Within moments they glassed over, her mind traveling thousands of miles to a landscape much different than the one currently before them. Snow and evergreen trees flashed before her and then, almost invisible amongst the forest there was a house. The door opened and Carlisle stepped out, followed by Esme and Rosalie. A smile broke out across Alice's face and she reluctantly let the vision fade away once again.
Jasper waited in silence, while Alice checked the future to make sure the coven hadn't moved.
"They're still there, in the same house where I saw us finding them before. I feel fairly certain we can find them using the same method we used to find Charlotte and Peter."
"Good. So long as they're in the same place we shouldn't have any problems locating them," he said, pleased.
Looking over her shoulder she sniffed the air. "Where there are animals kept like this there must be humans nearby," she said, scanning her eyes across the landscape. "And where there are humans there should be clothes."
Jasper followed her lead in sniffing the air and picked up traces of human scents toward the east. "There..." His voice was soft, thoughtful, as he turned in that direction and drew in a few more breaths. Even the faint scent burned his throat but if it would lead them to clothes, then he would deal with it.
"Let's go then," she chirped, grabbing his hand and taking off in a run in that direction. It wasn't long before they came upon a house, dark and quiet, the humans within sleeping from the sound of it. Near the house there was a clothesline where several articles of clothing stirred in the night time breeze.
Jasper chuckled as Alice grabbed his hand and pulled him along with her as she took off after the scent, the air whipping around them refreshing as they ran. A small house soon came into view. The only sounds occupying it were the sounds of snoring, slowed breathing and heartbeats in slumber. As they drew closer his eyes fell on the clothes line, the articles of clothing spread across the line fluttering in the night breeze.
Alice approached the house and scanned her eyes over the clothes there, frowning to find there wasn't much she could use. After a moment of thought she turned to Jasper with a mischievous smile. "Wait here," she instructed.
None of the clothes on the line seemed to be the right size for Alice which was slightly disheartening. He was about to suggest going into town when he caught the look on Alice's face and the smile stretched across her lips. "What?" he asked as his eyes drew wide with alarm. "Alice, I-" His sentence trailed off into silence because apparently she wouldn't be deterred.
Picking up the excess material of Jasper's coat in her hands she skipped over to the house and tried the door. Locked. She inspected a nearby window and smiled to find it unlatched. She turned to Jasper and winked before pushing it open and disappearing inside.
"Alice, wait!" he exclaimed in a harsh whisper, too low for human ears. She was going inside the house! She was actually going inside the house! Jasper rushed after her as she slipped through the window only to find her already vanished. He poked his head through the open gap and peered around. "Alice!" he called again in a voice barely above a whisper. Her scent lingering in the air told him she'd gone up the stairs.
Her voice drifted down the stairs, as soft as the flutter of a butterfly's wing. "It's fine, Jasper..."
Jasper sighed in resignation, realizing that he was probably overreacting.
He contemplated following her as his nerves were stretched to their limit. If they were caught things could get bad rather quickly. He drew his head back out and placed his hands on the windowsill. His mind raced as he shifted between his options…follow her or wait outside as she'd instructed. Going against his better judgment he decided to wait and pushed away from the window, linking his hands together behind his back.
Jasper waited impatiently, pacing next to the window as Alice took her time in the house. Chances were they wouldn't be caught or found out but he couldn't help but have that nagging suspicion. It was very likely this new paranoia and overwhelming anxiety was a product of Alice's kidnapping and nothing further so he wrote it off as such and sucked in a breath, doing his best to stay his nerves.
When Alice emerged she was dressed in a faded blue dress, a pair of simple slippers and a satisfied smile. She slung Jasper's coat over her shoulder as she leapt from the window and closed it silently behind her. Waltzing over to him she offered him his coat and belt, her grin taking on a slightly smug demeanor.
The sight that beheld him when she came out almost took his breath away in a sense. He eyed her appreciatively as she landed on the balls of her feet and turned to close the window behind her. He'd surmised a long time ago that Alice could wear a potato sack and make it look good so wearing this little blue dress only drove home that knowledge.
The tiny smile that had crept to his face widened as she turned in his direction and danced over to him. "You look radiant," he complimented, pride coloring his tone. He took back the coat and belt she held out to him and shrugged it back on his shoulders and looped the belt back around his waist, snapping the buckle.
"Thank you," she replied, giving him a little curtsy. "I actually feel a little bad about it. It belongs to the little girl sleeping upstairs. Hers were the only clothes that would fit me. I took her oldest, most worn dress though so hopefully she won't miss it."
"You're very welcome." He smiled, ducking his head to her curtsy. "I think it looks very good on you," he complimented. He lifted an eyebrow, catching her smug grin. "Okay, I overreacted…" he admitted with chagrin. He didn't have to read her emotions to know this was her 'I told you so' moment.
"I wouldn't have gone in there if it wasn't going to end well, silly," she chided with a giggle. "Have a little faith, Jasper."
"I know, I'm sorry," he admitted with a playful roll of his eyes.
She reached up and tweaked his nose with a loving smile. "Ready to go?" she asked. "This is it, Jasper. Last chance to change your mind…"
"I am," he replied, adding an equally loving smile and held out his hand to her. "Shall we?"
With an impish grin that hadn't graced her face in months, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before reaching down to grab his hand. Her enthusiasm bubbling over, she burst forward dragging him along with her as they raced toward their family, their destiny, their future…