Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I wish I did but I don't and that sucks rocks.

We're taught to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
You know your love's run out on you
(all I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true Sympathy Goo goo dolls

Edward~******

It was all so much to take in. I had no clue where to begin. Bella was a mom. That was the thought that stuck out first and foremost in my mind. She clearly was a wonderful mother and her daughter, who's name I still didn't know, seemed like a sweet beautiful little girl. She was seven and she was born in July, that was all I knew. I stomped into my mothers house bags in hand and closed the front door behind me.

"Mom!" I yelled. I dumped my bags in the foyer and began looking through the house for her. I found her in the formal dining room going through papers and drinking a glass of wine.

"I'm right here Edward. Did you miss your flight?" she asked.

"I'm gonna stay for a while. Maybe more then a while. I don't know. Mom, can I live here?" it felt odd to be asking her if I could live in her house. She was my mother, of course she'd let me stay.

"Of course honey but what prompted the sudden change of heart?" I could tell her about Bella's daughter, I was sure she already knew. In a town this small someone having a baby out of wed lock was still sadly a big deal and the rumor mill more then likely ran ramped with speculation. I didn't want to get into that with her right now. She had just buried my dad and had other things on her mind.

"I missed home. I didn't really know it until I came back." It wasn't a total lie.

"Edward, you know you can stay as long as you like and I certainly don't want to be alone right now but have you thought about..." she stopped short. Removing her glasses she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Thought about what?" I had to admit, between Bella, Bella's daughter and my dad's lost death bed confessional I wasn't thinking about much else.

"Please don't be upset with me. What I am about to say is harsh and it's going to be meant exactly as it sounds." I sat down in the chair in front of me. She walked up the long table and stared out the window a moment before she began to speak.

"You have no friends here. You burned those bridges long ago. No one and I mean no one in this town was happy with the book. Frankly you wrote most of your best friends and classmates as drunk horny overly dramatic teenagers and you made their parents sound as if they were clueless and couldn't keep track of their kids." Her eyes were sad, "I'm sorry to admit that I was one of the parents that couldn't manage their child. If I had kept better track of you maybe you wouldn't of been running into the woods having sex with the chiefs daughter every chance you got." My stomach turned over at the thought that my mother had read all of that. Things I never intended for her, and her specifically to see were all over the pages of the book I had profited from.

"Mom. So much of that was embellished. I am sure people realize that. It's written as fiction." I stood up from my chair.

"I just don't want you to get any wild ideas. You will not be a welcome addition to this community. I only say these things because you are my son and I love you more then my own life. I don't want you to get hurt." her eyes were sadder then I'd ever seen them. I could tell the things she said to me had pained her but she knew I needed to hear them. I walked over, stopped a moment and hugged her tight.

"Thank you for being honest with me." I murmured. She patted my back gently.

"You run along now and get unpacked. If you're going to be staying there's lots of things we need to do." she walked back to her seat at the end of the table and gathered her pile of papers.

"We will have time for that stuff later." I paused, noticing the light blue tri-fold manila folder in her hands, "Is that the estate stuff? I could help you with it....." her face was drawn taught. She held the pile of papers closer to her chest.

"I'll do it." she said in a harsh whisper.

"But Mom I want to help, It's the least I could do." I walked towards her. She stepped back quickly.

"No I was his wife....His partner for thirty five years. This is something I will take care of." she walked away closing the subject.

After three days being the Forks resident shut in got really old. Also the fact that I had no friends here really didn't help anything. Alice didn't speak to me at the funeral, she just gave a persnickety comment and took her seat. Jasper was clearly angry with me. Rose wasn't there and Bella didn't attend. Emmett was the only person in town that had really spoken to me that day. He was the only one that seemed sort of pleased to see me. He didn't offer a shitty comment or a narrowed glance. He was just his warm friendly self. I paced back and fourth in front of my bedroom window, trying to decide if I wanted to leave the house. I stopped briefly and looked around my room. Everything was pretty much where I'd left it. My pictures still hung on the walls with my awards, my trophies were still on the shelves. I walked over to one of the pictures sitting on my dresser, I picked it up and looked over it. Bella and I were young in this photo, not more then sixteen. It was homecoming, her dress was black with little shiny bead things on it. She wore her hair down in these big loose curls because she knew that was how I liked it. Looking at the picture I felt so much remorse for what I had done to her. I sat the picture down and moved to the next. Jasper, Emmett and I had our arms over each others shoulders, our graduation caps were tipped to the side and our retro ray bans blocked our eyes. We wore those damn things all the way through graduation, we were the coolest guys in school and even on the last day we wanted everyone to know it. I'd hurt so many people here. People I loved dearly even after I had left them and never returned. It was hard to admit to myself that the one I missed the most was the girl I'd left behind. She never thought she deserved me. She thought we were to different. Standing in my room I knew I was the one that didn't deserve her. We were different. She was everything beautiful and real. I was ugly inside, tainted by years of thinking that everything should be handed to me on a silver platter. In New York it was so natural for me, if I wanted something I just got it. I wanted to become a writer so I wrote a book. I wanted to make a lot of money so I got it published. I lived a fake life in New York. I knew what I had to do, it was going to be a bitch but I was going to do it. It was time to start making amends to the people I had hurt.

I decided to start where it would be easiest because I was a huge coward. I called Emmett to see if he wanted to go out to lunch. He agreed to meet me at the diner in town. I showed up first and got us a table. Emmett barreled into the small restaurant with his usual charm. He slapped their backs and bantered playfully with the old men at the counter. He waived and smiled at the over sixty waitress's. Just like in high school, the ladies still loved Emmett.

"Thanks for agreeing to meet me." I said. I offered him the seat in the booth across from me.

"I gotta admit man. I admire you for staying." he said with a chuckle. The waitress came, took our orders and left. I let Emmett order for the both of us.

"Why do you admire my staying?" I asked. He laughed.

"Well for starters it takes balls to live in the lions den. Second, the women in my life want your head on a pike man. They are still pissed on a daily basis." He smiled at me. His wife and her friends wanted me dead and he was smiling.

"I am assuming by women you mean Rose, Alice and..." I took a deep breath.

"And Bella? Oh yeah." he finished for me. I groaned. "And you don't even understand how pissed Jasper is." I looked up at him. "Why is he so angry with me? Bella was the one I left in the lurch, not him." I said in a low voice. Emmett leaned forward, "Between you me and the wall. Jasper's life, not so great." I stared at him confused. " Everyone loves him, what's the problem?" I asked a bit sarcastically.. Emmett leaned back against the booth. "Jasper, well he never got over being the Robin to your Batman. At first when you left and never came back he took it ok. He even defended you to most people but after the book got published and word spread around here.....he just sort of feels like you made him into your side kick. He thinks people have a hard time taking him seriously. Bella went through it too." At the mention of her name my stomach filled with dread.

"Em, I hope this isn't horribly uncomfortable but I need to ask you something." I was hedging. He knew it. I knew it and he probably already knew what I was going to ask. he laid his big folded hands on the table top.

"Is she happy?" I wondered out loud. It wasn't the first question I wanted to ask but it seemed the more important.

"She's gotten a lot better. She still lives with Charlie and she runs her own business now. She's done really nice for herself." he beamed with pride. I couldn't blame him. She had made something out of nothing and managed to raise a child while doing it.

"You said she's gotten better? Was she not alright?" Em's eyes moved to his hands.

"We aren't supposed to say anything." he mumbled.

"Em who the hell am I gonna tell? Besides you and my mother no one else is speaking to me."

He mulled it over momentarily, "After she got your letter it was bad. She couldn't function. She stayed in bed all the time. She would cry so hard and she would only sleep when she'd worn herself out. Alice and Rose talked to Charlie about maybe putting her in a hospital or something." I felt like utter shit.

"When did she start to function again?" I asked as our food arrived.

"Edward, she's fine now. Let's leave it alone." I respected his words and backed off. I didn't have any right to be prying into Bella's life anyway. It didn't include me anymore and that was a foolish choice I made along time ago.

"Em I'm sorry if my book hurt you. I meant it as fiction and I didn't think it would upset everyone." he sat his burger on his plate and looked me over seriously.

"Are you sorry you stayed away for seven years?" he asked.

"Yes. I am." I replied.

"Are you sorry you dumped Bella in a letter?" I lowered my eyes, "Yes. You'll never know how sorry."

"Then I accept your apology and I suggest you start fixing it. You can start by paying for lunch and tonight we are going to Blacks. I am not going to put you in front of the entire firing squad at once. The trick is to get one of them then you'll have all of them." I wasn't sure what he meant.

"What?" I asked him. He rolled his eyes, "If Rose trusts you then you can get Alice, if you get Alice then you'll get Bella and we both know that's what you want." he had me pegged.

"I just want her forgiveness. I am not going to intrude on her life in anyway." I didn't know if I should say anything about her daughter. I didn't want to run Emmett off. As I was paying for lunch at the register Emmett told me all about his wedding to Rose. I was sad that I missed it.

"Oh shit." Em said softly. I turned around and looked for what he was seeing out the window. All I saw was a really big guy getting out a dodge ram pick up truck.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Em rubbed the back of his neck.

"Jake Black is on his way in here." he muttered. I took another look. That huge guy could not be little Jacob Black.

"No way. That guy is huge." I took my change from the cashier.

"Edward, there's something you should know. Bella and Ja-" he was cut off with a clap to his shoulder.

"Thought you left town." was all Jake said to me.

"It's nice to see you Jake." I was attempting to be polite. He wasn't doing the same.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" he asked. Em looked really uncomfortable.

"I stayed to help my mom." I was getting really good at all the little half truths I was tossing around lately.

"Do us all a favor and leave before you fuck up anyone's life." his eyes were hard and cold. For a moment I felt like I had no right to be in Forks. Maybe I was wrong for being here. Em tugged his shoulder out of Jake's grasp and moved over to stand beside me.

"Edward is staying Jake. He wants to make things right. You don't have anything to worry about." Emmett made it sound as if I were some sort of a threat to Jake. Jake's posture relaxed a little after he noticed people staring at the three of us.

"Masen it's really none of my business why you're still here but stay away from Bella. She's mine." he whispered. He stalked off to a booth in the back where several men greeted him. Em walked out quickly with me hot on his heels.

"What the hell was that?" I was horrified that on my first outing into town I had almost gotten my ass kicked for no reason.

"Bella and Jake are a thing. He wants more. She doesn't. He's been pushing her to spend time with Lilly which Bella just will not allow." Her name was Lilly. Bella's daughter was named Lilly. It suited her perfectly.

"How long have they been together?" I wondered.

"Two years off and on." he looked at his shoes. I knew he wasn't supposed to be telling me this. I appreciated his inside information.

"Why won't she let him spend time with Lilly?" for some strange reason I loved saying her name. When I did the image of her in the coffee house window sprang into my mind. Yes the name really did suit her.

"She doesn't want to confuse her. Look dude can we talk about something else before I fuck up and Rose kills me?" I slapped his shoulder lightly.

"Sure, sure. What time do you want to go to Black's tonight?" we made plans to meet up around eight. He was kind enough to remind me that charming Rose wasn't going to be easy and to bring my "A" game as he called it. I assured him for Rosalie Hale Mccarty I would bring nothing less.

Bella~

Emmett's company truck pulled up in front of the coffee house right before I was about to leave and go get Lilly. I was about to say hello but he grabbed my elbow, hauling me to the store room.

"We gotta talk." he said just loud enough for me to hear. He pushed me in and closed the door. I pulled the light on over our heads.

"Emmett what the hell?" I asked rubbing my elbow.

"I had lunch with Edward today." he said. I laughed, "Em have you been sniffing glue? You couldn't of had lunch with Edward, he left. I was the last one to talk to him."

"Not so much. He's still here." Em's eyes were fixed on me. He was waiting for me to react.

"How long is he staying?" I asked him. Em looked down at his shoes. "Emmett damn it how long will he be here?" I shouted. Em's eyes shot up and met mine, "Indefinitely, Alright! He's here until he feels like leaving." Emmett threw his hands in the air.

"Em you didn't tell him about Lilly did you?" the scenarios of how this could end incredibly badly ran ramped in my mind. What does he know? What could he know?

"I didn't tell him anything. He asked if you were happy." Em's eyes were sad. I could tell he felt like he had betrayed me.

"What did you tell him?" my emotions were getting the better of me. I didn't know whether or not to feel sad that it had taken him this long to ask about me or happy that he finally had asked.

"I told him you were sad but now you're happy. Bell, I really think he's sorry." I gaped at him.

"Sorry? Are you shitting me? He ruined my life!" I started pacing back and forth in the little space.

"Or he made it better. I think it's a glass half empty half full sort of a thing. He just wants to be forgiven that's all." In some sick way I understood what Em meant about the glass half empty half full thing. He had broken me when he left but in the end I think I still got the best parts of the person he was.

"I made my peace with Edward Masen along time ago. I don't need to start dragging all that up again." I bit my lower lip.

"Jake knows he's here. He's not happy." Em informed me.

"Shit how did that happen?" I asked him.

"He was meeting Sam and Jared for lunch at the diner. He told Edward to leave before he ruins anyone's lives. It was kind of creepy honestly." it was no great secret that most of my friends weren't crazy about Jake. He could be a little possessive. He didn't like me to go out with out him which usually wasn't an issue because I didn't go out. I was home with my kid at bed and bath time and usually dead asleep before the news came on. He never stayed over and I never stayed at his place. A physical relationship for us was a luxury that was reserved for the rare nights I actually accepted someone's offer to baby sit or Lilly stayed the night at someone's house. Another thing I never allowed was him playing father to Lilly. He wanted to do things like take her to the zoo and go out to dinner just the three of us but even after two years I wasn't comfortable with him having that role in Lilly's life. She knew that she didn't have a father and the last thing I needed was Jake confusing her.

"He worries about me. I am sure whatever he said was out of concern." I muttered. Em stared down at me. It was moments like this one where it sucked having friends so close they could see right through you.

"Is he still pressuring you about Lilly?" Damn Rose for telling her husband everything.

"Yeah. He wants us to go to the Zoo this weekend. I already told him no but he's persistent." I looked down at my shoes. Em lifted my chin so I had to look in his eyes.

"Bella I have never once meddled in your life or Lilly's but I care about both of you." I knew what was coming, it was the same thing Rose and Jasper had said a hundred times, "This thing with Jake is going to end badly. Something about him just isn't ok. End it now please before things get out of hand." I closed my eyes before I could cry. Em's concern was touching but I knew deep down Jake was harmless and wouldn't hurt me.

"Jake's just jealous. I'll explain it to him and he'll be fine." I wrapped my arms around his big burly body hugging him as tight as I could. He patted my back gently.

"Em I think I gotta nip this thing with Edward. I don't need him causing a fuss right now. It could be bad for us." By us I meant Lilly and I. There were things that Edward didn't need to know or had no right to know after vanishing for seven years. Em walked me back out to the counter and waved good bye. I decided to close up and pay Edward a little visit.

I sighed heavily and walked as slow as I could. I needed to figure out what I was going to do when I got there. What was I supposed to say? "Oh hey Edward. I can't believe you're still here! I thought you'd ran out of town again like a repeat of seven years ago.!" that wasn't going to work. I used the time to think it over and decided the best thing to do was just to tell the truth, well most of the truth and try to navigate the situation to see how long he was staying. It was still exactly nine minutes from his house to mine, even walking my slowest. I stood across the street when I heard it. A push lawn mower engine. It was coming from The Masen house. I closed my eyes, giving into a memory I had buried deep inside my head. I was thirteen, Edward had just turned fourteen. He was my friend since we were kids, little kids. His mother and my mother had been close before Renee passed away when I was three. Edward and I saw each other every day practically but it was only just before that summer started that I had started to see Edward differently. He was still my friend but he was starting to grow into his lanky limbs more, his abs and chest were filling out. Edward was starting to look hot. I was a late bloomer and was ashamed to admit that my friends had already had their first kisses and I hadn't. I was shy, awkward and more then a little bit of a tom boy. Edward seemed to be the only person that understood me. I was sure if I just laid it out for him straight he would do me a solid and kiss me so I could get it out of the way. It was dusk when he walked around the side of his house with the push mower. His shirt was off, his chest was sweaty. I marched myself across the street to his yard.

"Hey Swan, what's happenin?" I took his wrist, dragging him around to the secluded side of his house where we went to sneak beers at his parents parties. I knew we wouldn't be seen there. He followed behind me blindly until I pushed him up on the side of the house.

"Edward. I need a favor." I told him plainly. He looked down at me with wide eyes, "Uh ok. What is it? I have to finish mowing the lawn before my dad gets home." I hung my head in total shame that I was about to ask my friend for pity kiss instead of waiting for the real thing.

"It won't take long. I need you to kiss me. I know you kissed Tanya Denali, so don't tell me you don't know how." I stood up straighter, jutted my chin out and puckered up.

"Bella what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm waiting for you to kiss me damn it!" I demanded. He put his arm around my shoulders and started walking us back out into the open part of his front yard.

"Bella. You don't want your first kiss to be like this." he said.

"Like what?" I cocked my head to the side and waited for a better explanation.

"All forced and timed. It's not that I don't want to kiss you, I do but it should be.....nice." he was such a damn girl sometimes.

"Edward. It doesn't have to be nice. I just need it to be done with." I put my hands on my hips and waited. He smiled, "Sorry Swan. I'll kiss you but it's gonna be on my terms. Looks like you'll have to wait until I'm not covered in sweat and grass clippings." he turned away from me and walked back to his mower. I was right behind him, stomping the way only a rejected thirteen year old girl can.

"Hey Edward!" I said, he turned to face me and I pushed him right down on his ass then stomped home before he could see me cry.

Later that night I sat on my back deck waiting for Alice to come over to spend the night.

"Excuse me? Is this a private pity party or can anyone come?" Edward asked from my back gate.

"Go away Masen!" I yelled. I heard the gate open and latch behind him. He came over and sat down next to me. I rested my chin on my hand, refusing to look at him.

"I have a present for you if you'll look at me please." he sounded amused, the bastard. I looked up at him, he sat next to me in a rage against the machine tee shirt and khaki shorts, low cut converse one stars on his feet and a daisy in his hand. He held the flower out to me as a peace offering. I took it from him.

"Thanks. You didn't have to do that." I said glumly. He chuckled, "Yeah I did. I can't ask you to be my girl with a bad taste in your mouth." my eyes widened with shock over his words.

"Edward. You don't have to be my boyfriend. I just needed you to kiss me." I stammered.

"I want to be your boyfriend." he said simply. I was in total shock.

"What about Tanya?" I knew Tanya Denali was going to be pissed when she heard about this.

"Tanya's Tanya. You're you. I like you." he stood up and offered me his hand. My heart pounded in my chest.

"Swan are we gonna do this or not? I have to be home in fifteen minutes." I stood on wobbling knees and walked to the center of my back yard with him. He put his hands on my shoulders and very slowly inclined his head. It felt like a year before his lips touched mine but when they did a million tiny fireworks went off behind my eye lids. He pulled back and looked down at me. A huge smile broke out across my face.

"So are you my girlfriend?" he said just above a whisper. Night crickets sang around us. Lightening bugs glowed around our faces.

"Yes." I said timidly.

"Good. I'll come see you tomorrow." he walked back to my gate. I looked down at my daisy still clutched in my hand.

"Edward wait!" I called to him. He turned to me, a dumb grin plastered all over his angels face. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged my waist tightly and let me go.

"Thanks for being my first kiss." I murmured. He blushed, "Thanks for being my first girlfriend." I of course waited until I was sure he was almost back to his house before I did the happy dance of joy right there in my back yard. Edward came around the side of his house pushing the mower with the engine off. I tried not to let the sweet memory i'd allowed into my mind to change anything. I stomped across the street. Edward looked at me with wide eyes. He pulled the ipod headphones from his ears and smiled.

"We need to talk." I announced. He nodded, "I agree. Would you like to come inside?" he jerked his head in the direction of the house.

"No. I don't want to distrub you're mother. Why are you still here?" I was trying to be civil. I was trying to remember that we both had neighbors and anyone that heard us fighting would make it town gossip before the sun went down.

"I stayed to help my mom." his answer was simple and direct. If he thought I was buying that horse shit for a minute he was so wrong.

"Edward, I can't make you go back to New York but please don't go around town asking my friends questions about me. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to put them in the middle." I was trying not to look at him and he was trying not to look at me. It was sad and awkward all at once. This is what our break up might have been like if he had stayed.

"I know. I'm sorry I did that to Em. I just have so many questions and no answers." his voice was as sad as his eyes, "Bella I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I left." I squeezed my eyes shut tight and choked back tears. This wasn't what I expected when I'd come here.

"Edward, I accept your apology. I hope it makes things easier for you to think you're forgiven but I've worked really hard to make a good life for myself and I don't need anything complicating that." it took all my self control not to hug him. He looked so sad. He reminded me briefly of the boy I'd loved seven years ago before everything fell apart. That boy I knew inside and out. The man standing before me I didn't know at all.

"I just have one question that I need an answer for." I knew what he was going to ask and I was ready to give him my answer.

"Ok shoot." I replied. He took a deep breath, "Who is Lilly's father?" I took a deep breath and answered, "She doesn't have one." I looked directly into his eyes when I said it. It was the same thing I told Lilly every time she asked. Edward looked confused, "Then who's is she?" he asked. I smiled wide and proudly declared, "She's nobody's baby but mine." With that I turned and left him standing in the autumn air. I went home and hugged my baby tight before I made dinner for Lilly, Dad and I.

A/n- You guys rock my world! I love getting reviews and you guys have really out done yourselves.

I hope you enjoy the chapter and the direction it's going. Again thanks so much for all the awesome reviews! (This wasn't edited. I know I suck.)