A/n- I wanted to apologize for the original chapter 5 you all read. I had two chapter fives. I didn't realize I had posted the wrong one until I started getting some semi-negative reviews. I checked and it turns out I put up the wrong one. This one is different, a lot longer and I am really proud of it. So please re read this chapter and review again. I hope this one is better received.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Edward~

The parking lot was crowded when I pulled in. I had forgotten there wasn't much else to do in Forks for the over twenty one crowd. I walked in searching the room for Emmett. One face stood out among the rest, Rosie Hale. I still couldn't believe Emmett had married Jasper's twin sister. Something about that was odd but right at the same time. Growing up, Rose was the center of attention most of the time. She was a drama queen and a princess but people were just naturally drawn to her. Most of the time even Jasper took a back seat to his twin. She was one of my best friends and she was still one of the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. In New York I'd met models and actresses but Rose could put them all to shame. I watched her for a moment behind the bar opening beers and filling mugs with frosty beer as she smiled and made polite conversation with the locals. Em waved me over to the end of the bar so I could stop lingering in the door way. I took the stool next to him, he was smiling as usual.

"What should I say to her?" I asked him. Em smiled, "Well there isn't a lot you can say that won't make her pissed off. I'd start with 'hi'." I walked over to the empty section of the counter where Rose was washing glasses. "Hi Rose. It's been a long time." I smiled as big as I could. She looked up for a moment, "I'm sorry about your Dad. He was a hell of a guy." she said. My smile dimmed, "Thank you." I said. "Now get the hell out of my bar." she pointed to the door but kept moving behind the bar.

"Come on Rosie. I want to talk to you." I was prepared to beg if necessary. Em walked up beside me, "Rose please, the guy is dyin here. Just talk to him for a minute." Em was doing his best to help me. I hoped he wasn't going to be in trouble later.

"No." Rose walked to the far end of the bar and cleaned up the napkins and empty bottles.

"Please, for me?" Em walked behind the bar, kissing her cheek and smiling in his big goofy way.

"Fine damn it. You and me in my office now." she spat.

Rose led me down a narrow hallway back into an office just past the bathrooms. She opened the door motioning for me to go first. I walked in the room, head slightly down ready for the verbal beat down I was about to receive.

"I don't know what the hell you think you're playing at but the game is done Edward." she said. Rose was the one among us that was always first to guard and protect the one's she loved. Her stance was protective and fierce. She looked directly into my eyes. She wasn't backing down.

"What game, Rose?" I asked her. I stood before her, my arms limp at my sides, ready to take the beating she was going to give. I'd earned it.

"The game where you waltz in here like the town fucking hero and expect everyone to just forget what you did!" she shouted. I shut my eyes tight exhaling slowly.

"I'm sorry Rose. I never meant to hurt anyone." I had to make her understand.

"Is that a joke? You're sorry? Do you have idea what you've done around here?" I knew that her telling me what kind of pain I'd caused, especially to Bella, would probably bring on more pain then I was ready for.

"Tell me what I've done. Make me feel as bad as I've made everyone else feel if that's what you need to do but Rose I am sorry. I know what I did to Bella was awful and I know that coming into town and deciding to stay wasn't a part of anyone's plans but I'm here and I want to make things right." I told her. Rose's nostrils flared. Her lips were a tight line over her teeth. I didn't know if she was searching for the right words or if she was going to go inside and leave me out here alone. She turned as if to walk away but turned back around suddenly. Her open hand flew at my face and connected with a stinging smack.

"You think one 'I'm sorry' is going to fix seven years worth of damage? You hurt the people I love the most. Jasper was devastated when the book came out and you reduced him to no more than your ever faithful lap dog. The pain you caused Bella I wouldn't wish on my own worst enemy. She was dead inside Edward. She was lost. She didn't smile. There was no light in her eyes and you think you can walk back into her life, into Jasper's life and just say sorry and everything is supposed to be ok? It doesn't work that way." I knew what she said was true. I rubbed the sore spot on my cheek where she'd slapped me.

"I know that. I know that the words don't make anything alright. I am going to go to Jasper and prove I'm sorry." I told her. She snorted out a strangled laugh, "He doesn't want an apology Edward. You can't undo what you've done. He was your best friend and you abandoned him. No phone calls. No letters, oh wait I take that back. You did write one letter didn't you? Tell me Edward what was the basis for that decision? Did you know that would become apart of the epic novel or were you just a fucking chicken shit?" her eyes never left my face. I knew when I'd come here that it would be an epic tongue lashing. I knew this was going to hurt.

"I wrote the letter because I couldn't do it over the phone. I didn't want to do it " the memory of writing that letter still hurt. For weeks I more or less curled up and let the misery have me. I remembered all the teary phone calls home. I was so depressed and home sick all the time. My mother was insistent that I get out and do things. When I'd ask about Bella and my friends she would say they were fine and wished me well. She said everything was moving right as it had been when I was here. I got the feeling like they didn't need me. So I did what my mom said. I went out, attempted to make friends and then the last call came. I had fallen in love with New York and wanted to come home at the end of semester and convince Bella to come back with me. My mother told me it was cruel to make her choose between Charlie and me. She told me the kind thing to do was to let Bella go, so I did. By the end of the first year it was easier and I just never came back. I'd ask about her from time to time and when I did my mother told me she'd moved on. She told me she was happy and fine. She never mentioned anything about a kid that has my eyes and Bella's smile.

"Then why did you do it?" she yelled. I flinched back on instinct.

"My parents thought it was for the best. Not that it changes anything. The decision to do it was still mine." I wasn't going to blame my parents for what I'd done. My mother may have encouraged me to let Bella go but it was still my choice to make.

"If you could do that to her so easily then you never loved her in the first place. You fed her lies for years. Lied to her about how you'd get married and give her everything she'd ever dreamed of. You fed her all your pretty little lies and then when she needed you the most you dumped her in a letter. You tossed her a side like trash. She always felt like she wasn't good enough for you and that letter just confirmed all her worst fears." she screamed. The whole town could probably hear her. "You are an arrogant, self centered, selfish prick who doesn't deserve to be a father. You should just go back-" I was pulled out of her rant by one word, father. Had it just happened? Did Rose just confirm all my suspicions in one conversation?

"What?" I said to her. She stopped yelling for a moment, her face told me she knew what she had said and was trying to back track. "What did you just say?" I asked her. She attempted to push past me.

"Rose you said I don't deserve to be a father. Am I father?" I asked her. My heart slammed in my rib cage. Her answer could change everything. She reared back and slapped me across the face again, just as hard as before.

"Stay away from Bella and Lilly." Rose turned on her heel and went back into the bar. I rubbed the sore spot on my cheek. I stood in the empty office in shock. I was a father. The truth of that was becoming more and more clear every moment I stayed in Forks. Why had no one told me? Why had everyone kept this from me for seven years? I needed answers and since I had only talked to one person for the last seven years I knew where to start, my mother.

I was still stunned walking into my mothers house. How could they keep this from me all this time? Why had they done it? I wanted answers. My mother was still up when I came in the house. As usual there was paper work scattered all over the kitchen table. As I walked in she was attempting to clean it up.

"I thought you went out." she plastered a fake smile on her face.

"I was out. I just got done talking to Rosalie Hale. She told me something pretty interesting." I balled my fists up inside my pockets. I was trying not to let my anger get the best of me. I didn't want to be the hot headed little kid she knew. I wanted to be the man I should have been for seven years. She scooped all her paper work into a pile and picked it up. In her other hand she carried her coffee mug to the sink.

"All gossip I'm sure..." her tone was uninterested. She put her papers down on the counter, close to her as always. The water turned on, she began rinsing out her coffee mug.

"I don't think this is gossip. Did you know I'm Lilly Swan's father?" the crash of her coffee mug hitting the sink was the loudest sound I'd ever heard in our house.

"Edward, I can explain.." she was calm. How could she be calm right now?

"You kept me away for seven years. You told me my friends and my girl had moved on." I didn't want to look at her but I couldn't look away. She was my only source for answers and if she turned and left me here now I might never know the truth.

"They did move on. Bella's dating Jacob Black. How do you know the baby isn't his? How do you know she was faithful to you?" I never once questioned if Bella was unfaithful to me before it all ended. I wouldn't start playing that game now.

"Bella would of never cheated on me. We wanted to get married! We wanted to start a family! For the last seven years I could have had that but you lied to me. You made it seem like they didn't want me, like you didn't want me." I wanted to scream and yell and hit things.

"I wanted you to have a life that was worthy of you. I didn't want you running back here to take care of that tramp and a baby that probably isn't even yours." she yelled. I closed my eyes tight, My image of Lilly in the window came into my mind.

"Do not ever call the mother of my daughter a tramp again. You will have absolutely nothing but the utmost respect for her from now on." whatever happened between Bella and I, I wouldn't let my mother degrade her.

"That little girl may not be yours!" she demanded.

"She looks just like me. She's the perfect image of Bella and I together. Have you seen her?" I wondered if my mother had said or done something to keep Bella from contacting me. Why had she never contacted me for support, especially after my book was published and I could more then afford it.

"Yes I've seen her. I haven't spent time with her. Your father on the other hand." I narrowed my eyes at her. It was no wonder she never let me speak to him on the rare occasion I did call home. She didn't want him telling me.

"Dad knew about her?" I asked. My mother lowered her gaze to the empty coffee cup in the sink.

"Knew about her....spent time with her....he was at every birthday, every holiday. He went to see Bella in the hospital the day Lilly was born." her voice was a whisper. She knew it was all over.

"What was the date?" I began to pace a line back and fourth in front of the island.

"Lilly Swan was born May thirty first two thousand and two." Bella lied to me. She said Lilly's birthday was in July. My parents house was up for sale in may of two thousand and two. They wanted to leave Forks. My dad had planned to retire. She told me they were looking in Arizona.

"Is she why you stayed in Forks?"

"I wanted to leave. I never thought she was yours. I still don't. It was your father that got all upset about it and said we had to stay here." it was all so clear but fuzzy around the edges. I felt like there was more to this but I didn't care at the moment. I just wanted to know why they had done this to me.

"How could you do this to me? I am your son mom! I loved Bella with all my heart. She was my world. Do you know what she must think of me? I left her Mom, I left for seven years. I left her all alone to raise our baby alone." I yelled. The tight grip on my temper faded. I wasn't ashamed to yell at her after what she'd done.

"Bella isn't blameless in this you know. She knew where you were. She could of come to us and asked for your number or your address but she didn't. So don't stand here and blame me while poor sweet sainted Bella roams the streets with her boyfriend while your 'daughter' sleeps. If you want to blame anyone for this mess blame her." I couldn't stand another minute in this house. I walked away from my mother. My own flesh and blood that had done this to me. I got back in the car, I had one friend here and one friend only. I could only pray Emmett was still at the bar.

The parking lot was more crowded than before. I pushed open the door to the bar harder than necssary. I wanted more information. I wanted to know more about my daughter. Was she ok? Did she have a lot of friends? Was she stubborn like Bella? What were her likes and dislikes? Em was still sitting at the end of the bar where I'd left him. Jasper had taken the seat beside him.

"Rose I need to talk to you." she leaned on the bar, her eyes were red as if she'd been crying.

"Edward, I think I've said enough for one night." her voice cracked. I hadn't seen Rose cry often, not even as a child. The secret she accidentally told must have been a very valued one.

"Please, just talk to me for two minutes. I have so many questions." I took a step closer to the bar. Jasper stood up between me and the bar.

"She said no." his voice was low and I could smell the jack on his breath. I groaned, "Jasper god damn it, can we put aside the you and me shit for second. I just found out I'm a father and I need answers." I yelled over the music. I attempted to push past him to talk to Rose. He pushed me back.

"You are not going anywhere near Bella and Lilly!" Jasper screamed.

"Watch me!" I walked to the door, I had every intention of going to Bella's house and demanding answers.

"Jasper NO!" Em screamed. I turned to see what was the matter. The last thing I saw was Jasper's fist connecting with my jaw. I staggered back two steps. He met those two steps and punched me again. On instinct I covered my face with my arms. He punched me in the ribs. It knocked the wind from me, I fell to the ground. He came down on top of me like a ton of bricks. He managed to get one good hard cracking punch in before Em pulled him off me.

"Somebody call the chief!" a patron yelled. I laid on the dirty bar floor panting. My lips were busted, I could taste the blood in my mouth. With every breath I took my ribs ached but what I was more worried about was seeing Chief Swan.

I sat on the bar stool with ice on my jaw. Deputy Mike Newton was asking me questions regarding the incident while we waited on the chief to arrive.

"Are you ok?" Em asked me. I nodded, "I'm fine." I took the ice away and opened my mouth. My jaw was bruised and swollen and my lips were busted, already starting to swell. Deputy Mike excused himself to go fill in Chief Swan. I shuddered at the thought of talking to Bella's father. He probably thought I deserved worse. I knew I deserved worse. He walked in the bar with the same heir of importance I remembered from my childhood.

"Edward, you pressin charges on the Hale kid?" he asked. His voice was grumble as always. He read over the notes Mike had made without looking at me.

"No Sir. I asked for it." I said clearly so everyone could hear me. Rose stopped what she was doing, her mouth gaping.

"You're sure? This is assault. It's serious." Charlie said.

"Yes sir. I'm sure. I deserved worse." I stood off my stool and dropped my ice on the bar. Charlie looked over the forming bruise.

"Yes you did." he seemed almost sorry it wasn't broken. "Mike, put Hale in the drunk tank for the night, let him sleep it off." he signed off on the notes handing them back to Mike.

"Um Sir? I'd really appreciate it if you didn't take him in. I'll drive him home myself." I said to him. He looked at me like I was an idiot.

"He beat the crap out of you and you want to drive him home?" he asked in disbelief.

"It's the least I could do sir." Charlie knew what I meant. He ordered his deputy to let Jasper get in my car. I fished my keys from my pocket waving goodnight to Rose and Em.

Jasper fought Mike about getting in my car but Charlie had the final word, "Jasper Hale get your ass in that car before I lock you up." the drive home was totally silent. I drove him the very short distance to his parents old house and cut the engine off. Jasper tried to get out of the car by himself but he was to wasted. I went around to the passenger side, slung his arm over my shoulder and carried him in the house. I unlocked the front door noticing how everything was the same. The same table by the door. Jasper and Rose's pictures still hung on the walls. I took Jasper into the living room and dumped him on the couch. I worried for a moment he might vomit and thought about turning him on his side. He rolled over before I got the chance.

"I really missed you, you fuckin prick." he said. I laughed for the first time in days.

"I missed you too, you sorry piece of shit. You hit like a girl." I told him. He gave me the finger. I let out a laugh and left him to sleep it off. Hopefully we were ok now that he'd beat the hell out of me.

My jaw was sore. My lips were busted and blood had dried on my face. My ribs were sore from the punch but not broken. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I couldn't go see Bella like this. I didn't want her to see me this way. Around the corner from Jasper's house was Bella's. I left my car parked in front of Jasper's and just started walking. The night air was cold, it smelled like at any moment it would rain. I had missed the smell. The word daughter kept running through my mind. Every fiber of my being told me she was mine. I had so much to make up for. Missed birthdays and Christmas's. I had missed everything, her first words, first steps, first day of school. I was getting ahead of myself. I was stupid to think that Bella would allow me to make up for lost time. I didn't deserve to be in her life. I wanted to try though, even if Bella wouldn't actually allow me to have the title of Lilly's father, even if that was a role that another man filled for her I still wanted to be apart of Lilly's life on some level. It was a strange feeling to miss her when I didn't even know her. Before I realized where I was my steps as if on instinct carried me to Bella's house. I walked down the narrow path between Bella's yard and what use to be Lauren Mallory's yard. I jiggled the gate to her back yard, it was still loose. I didn't know why I opened it and went inside. Seven years ago I would climbed the trelis and crawled in bed with her. That was when we made all our best plans. So many nights we laid in her too small bed talking about our future. When I became a big shot doctor and she became a world famous chef we were going to get married and buy this huge old colonial house on maple street. We knew what colors we wanted each room to be. We knew what kind of wedding we wanted. We also knew that even if we never had two dimes to rub together as long as we had each other we'd be fine. Her bedroom light was off and the window was closed. Her yard was the same except for the big wooden swing set. Her back fence still lined the edge of the woods where we use to go to be alone. There was a meadow there. It was grassy and green with little wild flowers here and there. The tree branches made a canopy that shielded us from the rain but let the right amount of sunlight or moon light in. I walked slowly backwards from Bella's window. I didn't take my eyes off it until I reached the edge of the fence. I hopped it looking deep into the woods for a moment. There use to be a path. It was the middle of night and there was no light to show me the way. I needed to find my place, our place, the last place we knew when we were in love. It was likely the place our daughter was conceived. If that was true I was glad because no two people could of asked for a more perfect moment then the one we shared there. I swept my foot across the brush, the leafs and dirt moved away. I saw the beginning of the dirt path.

After the first few steps my memory took over and I knew my way. It wasn't a straight shot by any means. As kids Bella and I had used tress as markers along the way. The same trees were still there. It felt like forever that I walked in the woods just me, my thoughts and my too many questions with no answers. My entire being was confused. Part of me wanted to cry. I wanted to lay down and sob for everything I'd done, everyone I'd hurt and all the years I missed with Lilly and my father. Another part of me was glad that my father stood up to my mother and refused to move. He was with Lilly even when I wasn't. I was grateful to him for that. My relationship with my mother would never be the same after tonight. She'd kept to many secrets and pushed me away for some unknown reason. I was overwhelmed, confused, sad, happy. Lost in my thoughts I kept walking until I found the edge of the meadow. It was still beautiful. I walked in, looking around. I was happy to see this place was the same. I was tired. I just wanted a moment to collect my thoughts. I laid down under the canopy of the tree branches. I stared up into the dark leafs. There were no answers here, only comfort and memories. I laid my arms out my sides and took a deep breath before the rain came. As it rained I laid in it letting the drops that made there way through the leafs wash over my face. I had nothing left to do tonight so I laid in the rain.