Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer; I do not own the Twilight series, just a fan having fun. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 5

Nessie's POV

We were sitting quietly on the top branches of a tree near my cottage. Jacob had nothing on but a pair of cutoffs and for the way he has leaning on his branch appeared more animal than human. I knew he was looking at me because I felt the power of his stare, but I couldn't look at him, not when he looked so amazingly gorgeous and was just inches away from me. I wasn't about to make a fool of myself by launching myself at him.

"Ness, what are you thinking?" – I could hear the worry in his voice; I had been distant the whole afternoon, thinking about the question I needed to ask. –"You know you can tell me anything."

That was all it took, I turned around and placed my palm to his cheek. I loved the way he always closed his eyes when I did this, giving me a chance to appreciate his beauty up close without feeling self conscious. I replayed the conversation I had had with my dad adding my additional thoughts and questions and worries.

When Jake opened his eyes I could see there was something he needed to tell me, but was afraid to.

"Just tell me Jake, I need to know."

"It was because of Bella" – his voice came out constricted.

"You mean because he thought you were a danger to her, he already said that, it's not something new and certainly not a reason to be "archenemies."

"No, because I was in love with her" – I felt a huge pressure come down on me, as if an elephant were sitting on my chest. My entire world collapsed in that moment. This was beyond cruel; his words wounded me in such a way that I couldn't even fake indifference.

So I meant nothing to him. This was the real reason he hung around, the reason he commanded his pack to protect us from the Voltury, the reason he looked after me. He still loved her, loved her enough to accept that she belonged with dad, enough to bear watch them together just to be able to be near her. I was just sloppy seconds; all those times he looked into my eyes, he didn't see me, he saw her, her human self, the human he loved but could never have.

I threw myself from the tree and started walking away, hyperventilating, tears running down my face, my mind racing showing me by the second worse and worse scenarios. My mom had wanted to sneak out to see him, knowing he loved her, why? Had she loved him too? Had they been together before she met my dad, or worse, after?

Before I knew it Jacob was in front of me, trying to stop me from walking away, a devastated look on his face, my pain reflected in his eyes.

When he spoke, it came out hoarse. – "Ness, please… I'm sorry, what's wrong?"

He didn't know, had no clue, was so oblivious to me that had not noticed the feelings I was harboring. I tried to push him out of the way but he held onto my wrists and wouldn't let me go.

"Ness, please tell me… I didn't mean to upset you… please baby… please" – He had tears in his eyes and a panicked look, because he really didn't know. – "It's over now, I don't love her that way, it's nothing, it was always nothing!!!"

I couldn't bear it, his pain caused me even more pain and his words were empty. Whatever he said now meant nothing, I knew enough of the truth; his love for me was only a reflection of his love for my mother. She was the one for him, that's why he had never imprinted like the rest of the wolves, why I never saw him with girls; he probably hoped I was his and her daughter. The idea made me nauseous and sick. It took all of my last strength to loosen his grip but was only able to walk a few paces before I collapsed and fainted. I welcomed the feeling of falling out of consciousness, anything to numb the pain that was sure to kill me.

Jacob's POV

I came running to the front of the cottage, Nessie in my arms, my Nessie. Edward and Bella were already coming out, probably having heard my pounding heart. Bella took her from me.

"Oh God, my baby!!! What happened?!!!"

"I can't believe you, you Mongrel!!!" – Edward was snarling at me, teeth bared and all; I actually welcomed it, death would be better than having to face knowing I had hurt her.

"There's a reason I didn't tell her about you and Bella, your stupidity amazes me, you insensitive dog!!!"

Bella was holding Nessie in one arm and had her other on Edwards chest, restraining him. Her eyes were locked on me, not accusingly but sympathetic; I could always count on Bella to be on my side. – "You told her about us? Everything?"

"I… she asked me… I can't lie to her!!! … It shouldn't matter… I… she… please Bells, tell me what to do?" – I was shaking from head to toe, I'd never seen Nessie this way, never seen her faint or cry like this, she's the happiest person I know.

Before I knew it, we were at the big house. Bella and Edward took Nessie up to Carlyle's office while everyone else interrogated me. I could barely speak, I answered without thinking, too focused on hearing what was going on upstairs.

Carlyle: "She's fine, there is nothing physically wrong. She just took an emotional blow and shut down, that's all. She's resting now."

Bella: "I don't understand Edward, why would this bother her so much… do you think her feelings have changed, could you have missed that?"

Edward: "I don't know love… she thinks about him every minute, but she has since she was small, so that really doesn't constitute as a change."

Bella: "Well, she is good at hiding her thoughts from you… maybe she has been using Alice's tricks to keep you from knowing she's in love with Jacob".

She's in love with me? How could I not see this? Edward was right; I am a stupid insensitive dog!!! Had my feelings changed because hers had? This made all the sense in the world, because I would always be what she needed, always want what she wanted. And now she was in pain because I was foolish enough to not realize. I ignored everyone's nagging questions and left running, I took of my cutoffs without the least bit of embarrassment and phased only a few steps away from the front door. I turned and saw Bella looking down on me from the office window, looking so much like my Nessie but far less beautiful. I let out a howl and I saw her mouth the word "stay", but I couldn't, I turned around and ran into the forest.

"Phase back, I need to be alone"

"Okay Jake, take it easy" – Thought Leah as she phased back.

"Jake man, be happy, she loves you"

"Shut up Quill, I gave you an order" – Not even my best friend could cheer me up right now.

"Okay man, see ya." And he phased back, leaving me alone to my thoughts; I had at least 2 hours before the following patrol, before Embry and Seth would phase and be able to hear me, more than enough time to wear myself out and clear my head.