The Cuatro Espada slipped his pallid hands into his pockets and fell back into the abyss of his deep thoughts. He expected the 'social interaction' with the woman to be a complete failure, figuring that the woman would be so frightened of him she would be quaking in her sandals to even make eye contact with him.
But no. Like what Ulquiorra said (or thought), the woman is different. Not only was she unfazed by his intimidating presence, she was even interested in knowing about him. Nobody has ever tried making conversation with Ulquiorra, because they knew that he would not respond. To his surprise, the woman talked to him just like he was anyone, even a friend. To his larger surprise, he himself even made an effort in responding.
Upon reaching his quarters, he noticed something amiss in his impeccably neat room. No, something wasn't missing. Something was there. His perceptive green eyes moved to the ground. Lying on the floor, as if it had been slipped under the crack of the impeccably white door, was a neatly folded piece of lined paper.
Inquisitively, he bent down and picked it up. Smoothing out the edges, he read the neat block letters, written clearly across the lines.
Orihime's Guide to Smiling
1. Put two fingers at either corner of your mouth.
2. Pull both fingers up.
3. Repeat until smile looks natural.
Ulquiorra was at a complete loss of words. He read the large block letters at least three more times, trying to deduce any hidden meaning behind it, or wondering whether it was a cryptic code from the enemy that needs to be deciphered. However, the woman's words about her little quest came rushing back to his head. "I will make you smile!" She cried out in her girlish voice, yet strong determination shining through and through.
Ulquiorra allowed himself to express just a little emotion, so he closed his eyes, exhaled a little louder and ran a light hand through his jet black hair. What a daring woman. He thought. She is getting more interesting as time passes.
Yet why does she persist in such pathetic matters? She must know that there is absolutely no way that Ulquiorra will try being optimistic just like she is. No. Ulquiorra is not an optimist. What is the point in seeing good in things, when there aren't any at all? He is not a pessimist either. Morbid thoughts of despair are for the pathetically weak. He is an absolute realist. He sees whatever there is to see; nothing more, nothing less. He did not understand how the woman cannot grasp such a simple concept.
And why is the woman so interested in helping him be more human? All humans were trash and all emotions are unnecessary. Why does she want to degrade him into something lesser than his current state? Well, she certainly did not have any ill intentions, Ulquiorra was sure. The woman is much too pure to even think of harming others, even if is the enemy.
But there was that one slap. Ulquiorra felt the tugging in his chest. He also recalled how she rushed to heal the lowly arrancar girl who wanted to kill her, and he nearly sneered. What a contrast. Ulquiorra did not physically harm her in any way, and he gets a slap, that was so hard he felt his tough hierro tingle a bit. Yet the trash were about to kill her, and they get healed in return.
But emotional pain is always more painful than physical pain. The tugging sensation pulled harder.
In his discomfort, he turned around, to see himself in the full-length mirror; pale, emerald-eyed, yet nonchalance being slightly betrayed. He fully turned around to study himself. Obviously he was beyond vanity, but he wanted to try something. His fingers slowly made their way to his blackened lips. They stopped, hovering at the corners of his mouth. They made contact with the corners of his blackened lips. He was on the brink of pulling his fingers up when he realised what he was doing. Snapping back into reality, he retracted his fingers so quickly it was as if his own face burned him.
Ulquiorra actually obeyed the woman! To think that a human had the authority to tell him what to do! This time he let emotion out full force. He scowled, but after that, drew out a long sigh. The woman was so confusing.
Under her breath, Orihime hummed happily. She managed to slip out of her room, and get to Ulquiorra's room in time to slip in that prized piece of paper. She couldn't believe she found his room so fast, but the tour of Las Noches was still fresh in her head. Right now she was making her way back to her room.
Of course she waited for Ulquiorra to go out of the palace, so that he won't be able to detect her 'escaping' and send her straight to Aizen without hearing her out. Orihime didn't want to hand him the paper directly either. She didn't want him to mock her upon receiving the paper, or to react so badly by completely obliterating it with a cero or something like that in front of her.
Why was she so interested in her little quest, though? Orihime furrowed her eyebrows a bit, brought her finger to her full lips, and cast her glance upwards, thinking. It's mainly because that her stay in Hueco Mundo was completely vacuous and there was nothing worthwhile to do, but something told her that it was more than that.
Orihime let her hand drop to her side and sighed. Truth be told, it's those eyes that are simply begging for something. The image of the vividly, unreal green eyes, emotionless in façade, yet yearning for something so badly, flickered in the forefront of her mind. Orihime does not know what those eyes exactly want, but she thinks she knows what they don't want. They don't want to be hollow anymore. They want something meaningful, something to live for. But yet, the owner of those vivid eyes refuses them that, and blocks out whatever hidden meaning there is in life. Because according to the viewer, life is whatever life is, and nothing more.
Orihime knitted her eyebrows together, and let a small frown form in her normally soft features. Is her hypothesis really true? Can Ulquiorra truly be yearning for something and yet remain unaware that he was yearning for something? She did not want to risk thinking too much. But those eyes. They were just calling for help, and Orihime could never accept someone's sufferance when that sufferance can be avoided.
Her profound train of thoughts was now going at a hundred miles per hour, but a loud voice caused it to abruptly stop.
"Yo, Hime-chan!"
She let out a little gasp and whipped her gaze from the ground, where it was previously fixed at.
"Grim-Grimmjow-san," she gasped out, still recovering from the sudden interruption of her thoughts.
"Eh, what's wrong, girl? Still emo about Kurosaki and Co.? Damn, I'd whoop his ass if he shows up!" At that thought, Grimmjow's grin stretched, baring his canine (or feline?) teeth.
"No, Grimmjow-san! I'm just thinking…"
She fixed her gaze back on the ground. After all, it wasn't easy to look at Grimmjow. He was practically one foot taller than her. One foot including his spiked up blue hair.
"Goddammit, ya sound like that emo bastard, Ulquiorra." At this rather uncouth statement, something lit up in Grimmjow's violently blue eyes. "Oho! Ya thinkin' 'bout Emospada, is that it?"
Upon seeing Orihime's cheeks flush as she stuttered something incomprehensible, Grimmjow's Cheshire grin widened.
"Yeah, both of ya have that whole depression thing goin' on." Grimmjow pondered for a bit, before adding as an afterthought, "And actually, Ulquiorra has been PMSin' a lot more than usual. I wonder why…?" He grinned his million watt grin at Orihime again, purpose gleaming in his cerulean eyes.
Orihime hated to admit it, but her face felt like it was on fire. To be honest, she wasn't very sure what her relationship was like with Grimmjow, but it was good enough that he didn't treat her like how he does to lower arrancar. Maybe he felt indebted to her after she restored his rank, so he probably treated her decently and gave her attention as a result. He even had a term of endearment for her.
Yet whatever Grimmjow was saying was enough to set her face aflame. She knew exactly what he was implying, though she had no idea as to why he would say that. But was Grimmjow on her side?
At this exact point, Grimmjow said, "Damn, and I used ta think Ulquiorra was a queer. But maybe he'd stop lickin' Aizen's ass if he had somethin' else to lick-"
Orihime automatically shut off whatever Grimmjow said next. This could not get any more embarrassing. Despite Orihime's close-to-zero knowledge of… dirty things, she knew whatever Grimmjow was saying isn't the purest. Orihime could also more or less tell that Grimmjow was on her side.
But she thought of his words' implication. No! She didn't like Ulquiorra, especially not in that way! He was the enemy, for goodness' sake! And the last time she checked, she loved Kurosaki-kun before she arrived here!
But amidst all those arguments, a little skeptical voice spoke calmly, almost as calmly as how Ulquiorra speaks. "Well then what's up with your thing with the green eyes? And what's up with the smiling quest? And most of all, why is your face so red?"
Orihime shuddered. The thought felt so wrong, yet it excited her somewhere. Helping others out of their sufferance gave her joy, and she definitely wanted to help Ulquiorra. But she doesn't like him that way. No. Not ever. She will not admit it, not even to herself.
Suddenly, something ingenious hit Orihime. It just struck her like how inspiration does to artists, and boy did she just receive a huge dose of inspiration.
"- And maybe ya could do somethin' 'round his hollow hole, that twisted bastard has like a fetish about hollow holes-"
"Grimmjow-san." Orihime cut in softly.
"What? Ya turned on?"
"Can you help me with something? I think this is something you will enjoy doing."
"Hell no, girl, I don't do threesomes!"
"No, Grimmjow-san!" She squeaked, her face seeming to have no limit of turning red. Without giving Grimmjow time to divulge into his dirty imagination, she spoke very quickly about her little quest, and her first plan to make Ulquiorra smile.
After she was done, Grimmjow eyed her skeptically. "Ya know, it probably won't work."
She hung her head low, and disappointment filled her ash-coloured eyes. Even Grimmjow doubted her plans.
But then his maniacal grin came back full force, and he said, "But hell, what's a lil' fun, huh? Tell ya what, Hime-chan, I'd do it happily. Even free of charge, because this is just too damn precious to miss," He paused, before barking, "But that still don't mean ya don't owe me anymore favours! I saved yer ass back there from those crazy bitches! Don't ya forget that!"
Orihime hastily nodded. This is exactly why she is unsure about her relationship with Grimmjow.
Ulquiorra made his way to the woman's room, coattails swishing about before him. The arrancar servant trailed behind him, pushing the cart of food. He was unsure of what the woman would say about the brave note she wrote, and whether he should bring it up. No matter. Right now, his duty is to make sure that his guard eats, and thankfully, she probably will.
Upon reaching the door, the arrancar servant bowed and left, Ulquiorra not acknowledging him at all. Ulquiorra rapped once on the door, as he always does, and stepped in.
A very interesting sight greeted him. The woman was standing erect on the arm of the sofa, and she seemed to be holding a pail up against the ceiling, as if trapping something on the ceiling with the pail. Her eyes were wide with fright, and her body was quaking. Ulquiorra felt something in his chest jolt. What happened? Is she in pain?
"Ul-Ulquiorra-san! There's a lizard on the ceiling!" The woman cried breathlessly, her rather large chest heaving up and down.
All his worries and concerns vanished and instead annoyance replaced it. "I fail to see the threat in that," Ulquiorra said tonelessly, as if bored. Is the woman that afraid of just a little hollow animal?
"N-n-no, you don't understand! I-I'm terrified of lizards!" She answered his unasked question, and shuddered just at the sound of the word.
She let out a sudden shriek. "I felt it moving!" She cried.
"What do you want me to do about it, woman?" Ulquiorra stated.
"I know, I have a plan. Look, there's a broom behind you. Take that broom, and hold the stick against the base of the pail, so that you keep the lizard trapped on the ceiling. I will run to Szayel-san's lab and ask for some pest spray." The woman shuddered again, the thought of killing an animal, even a pest, coming across as disturbing to her.
Ulquiorra really wanted to roll his eyes, and his annoyance was fast increasing. Who was the woman to order him around, anyway? But it was part of his orders to make the woman feel as comfortable as possible, so he decided that he might as well abide to her orders and help her eliminate the source of her discomfort.
"Take your hands off the pail, so that I can dispatch of the lizard." Ulquiorra said, though hating that he had to do something so menial.
The woman shrieked shrilly again, which was grating on his nerves. "N-n-no, Ulquiorra-san! W-w-what if it jumps on my h-h-head?" She quaked harder.
In a restrained eye roll, Ulquiorra cast his gaze just fractionally higher. "If you insist, woman," he stated.
With that, he took the broomstick into his hands, and pushed the stick against the base of the pail, holding it in place. The woman shot him a quick, warm, smile, which made something in his chest flutter. It was quite a pleasant feeling, but it confused Ulquiorra.
"I'll be right back," She assured. She took her hands off the pail, hopped off the arm of the sofa, and ran out the door, doing all three actions rather swiftly, leaving Ulquiorra in the absurd position of standing on the floor, propping a broomstick up to hold the pail against the ceiling.
Since he was alone, Ulquiorra finally rolled his eyes full force, relieving himself of the urge of wanting to do so for the previous minute. Who knew the woman was so jumpy? He thought that this was the most ridiculous thing he had to lower himself to do in his career as an Espada. But his task of keeping a woman alive has brought quite a number of benefits, Ulquiorra supposed. He has not figured out the ultimate formula to anticipate how a human would react to certain situations. More specifically, he has not figured how the woman managed to do the opposite of everything he ever expected her to do.
Ulquiorra suddenly realised something very suspicious. He narrowed his eyes. Why was the pail so heavy against the broomstick? Should it not be filled with air? His eyes widened fractionally. Was the pail on the ceiling filled with… liquid?
Suddenly, Ulquiorra heard a sharp static sound punctuate the still air. Someone has just sonidoed behind him. Ulquiorra was about to turn around but the intruder instead slapped him hard... on the bottom. Ulquiorra was caught completely off guard, and never in all his fighting experience had he ever anticipated to be hit in the… buttocks. In his shock, his arm muscles loosened up, which sent the broomstick crashing down, and along with that, the pail, and a tidal wave of water. It came down with a roaring splash, and hit Ulquiorra with a large force, soaking him from top to bottom.
While he was trying to recover whatever was left of his dignity, he heard roars of deep laughter and uncontrollable giggles. He turned to see both the woman and… Grimmjow, clutching at their sides, bending over in their hysterical laughter.
After most of the laughter died down, he mustered up the tatters of his elegance and said calmly, "I fail to find this amusing."
"Nah, ya generally fail at life." Grimmjow retorted, grinning like a crazed murderer. Well, he is a crazed murderer.
But the woman was watching Ulquiorra intently. It looked like her laughter was short-lived, as she seemed disappointed now. "Grimmjow-san, it didn't work." She stated, sadness eating at the edges of her voice.
"Yeah, didn't I say that it wouldn't, Hime-chan?" Grimmjow said indifferently.
"What didn't work?" Ulquiorra asked, feeling a little peeved that the woman actually associated with Grimmjow to plan an assault on his dignity and pride. And since when did Grimmjow use that ridiculous pet name?
"You didn't smile." The woman whispered, hanging her head and fiddling with the pleats in her skirt.
Ulquiorra, again, was at a complete loss of words. Why did the woman go through so much trouble in thinking of elaborate schemes just to get him to smile? Is his smile that desirable for her?
"How pathetic. I will not show any emotion at all, as all emotion is unnecessary." Ulquiorra said monotonously, as if reading from a textbook.
"Aw crap, here goes the emo fag and his emo poetry that doesn't rhyme." Grimmjow groaned, which in turn received an intimidating glare from Ulquiorra.
Grimmjow completely ignored this glare. "Well I gotta run, woman, I actually skipped Aizen's dumbass meeting to do this shit. It was fun shit, though."
Before Ulquiorra could say anything about how Grimmjow's work attitude was completely pathetic, Grimmjow started to trudge out. He stopped at the door, paused, and said, "Oh, and Ulquiorra?"
"What?" Ulquiorra said, restraining his annoyance fairly well.
Grimmjow turned around, giving Ulquiorra a gleaming cerulean gaze full of amusement and mocking. "Nice glutes," He said cheekily, shooting him a lopsided feral grin. With that, Grimmjow left quickly enough, so that he won't get cero-ed in the head.
The woman's cheeks were tinged considerably.
Ulquiorra closed his eyes to control his surge of anger at Grimmjow. He opened his eyes again and heard the woman whisper, "Souten Kisshun, I reject."
Warmth enveloped him and an orange shield manifested in front of him. The water seeped out to be replaced with dryness, and after the shield shattered, he felt just like he did before the whole incident.
Orihime looked deeply into his doll-like eyes and sincerely said, "I'm sorry, Ulquiorra-san. I didn't mean to make you mad. I just wanted to see you smile." After all, when inspiration hit her, she thought maybe understanding humour would be one step in being able to smile, but obviously the Espada had no sense of humour. Orihime was right initially, before being able to understand happiness, Ulquiorra needs to understand emotion, and in turn he needs to understand the concept of a heart. It's almost like a linear equation.
With those words of upmost sincerity, she swore she saw something soften in Ulquiorra's eyes.
Ulquiorra asked, "Why do you insist on seeing me smile, woman?"
Orihime broke her eye contact when he asked that, and instead shuffled her feet around and fidgeted with the hem of her jacket. She knew he'd eventually ask that, but it's not that she could reveal to him her whole hypothesis of his beautiful eyes just melodramatically screaming for help, and how every fibre of his being is rejecting things when they shouldn't and when they don't want to either.
"Well… I think that… even if you say you have no emotions; you actually do, though you're either too proud to admit that you do, or… you don't want to?"
"That doesn't correlate with my question."
"A smile will complement your eyes better!" Orihime blurted out, before covering her mouth with her tiny hands comically. She didn't mean to say that, but she did anyway.
Ulquiorra looked at her silently, so Orihime decided to continue, no matter how awkward it was now. "Your eyes are easily the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, Ulquiorra! I mean, nobody back on earth has eyes as green or as vivid as yours. Even that Espada, Halibel-san; her eyes aren't as expressive as yours."
Orihime saw his eyes widen, and she blushed, suddenly scrutinizing her feet. After an awkward silence, Ulquiorra said, "My eyes cannot possibly be expressive as I restrain emotion as much as possible."
Orihime felt a little ruffled at that statement. "Not really, Ulquiorra! You're actually more expressive than you think, you know! And also, aren't indifference and coldness emotions? It's like transparency being a colour, right?" Orihime paused. "Wait… is transparency even a colour?"
Ulquiorra continued looking on at her, as if waiting for her to voice her ramblings, so she did.
"But that's not fair! I mean, if transparency isn't a colour. That's almost like prejudice towards colours! Lady GaGa wore a transparent dress in one of her music videos, where she dances around bath tubs with her back-up dancers that wear leotards, yet everyone thinks it's a pretty dress! I do to! Transparency is a colour, though a special one, so therefore indifference is an emotion, though a special one!" Orihime managed to say everything in one breath. "So I just refuted your point! Ha!" She jubilantly concluded.
Orihime's triumph was only met with the blank face of Ulquiorra. She blushed. She probably lost him when she started talking about Lady GaGa.
"I have absolutely no idea of what you are talking about." Ulquiorra finally said.
"Yeah, I sort of realised," Orihime mumbled under her breath.
Ulquiorra just observed her quietly for a few more moments, before he said, "Eat. I'll be back in an hour to collect the tray."
He turned around, coattails swishing along with him, and he made his way to the door, before abruptly stopping in the doorframe. Orihime looked at him, a mixture of puzzlement and expectancy evident in her grey eyes.
"So are yours, woman," Ulquiorra said, almost hesitantly.
"... Heh?" That was the most intelligent reply Orihime could muster.
"Beautiful." Ulquiorra stated. He realised his mistake before quickly adding, "Eyes, I mean."
Ulquiorra turned his head just a fraction towards Orihime, his emerald eyes betrayed the immense amount of pride injury he just suffered, and a little of... embarrassment. He moved to leave, a little too quickly.
Orihime's face was on fire for what seemed to be like the fifth time today. She looked behind her at the wall mirror, saw her shimmering grey eyes, and felt a little burst of warmth all over her chest that spread throughout her whole body, fizzing in the top of her head and the tips of her toes.
That was the sweetest thing anyone ever said to her! She gushed to herself. Even people like Kurosaki-kun never said that to her. She subconsciously frowned at that thought. Truth be told, Kurosaki-kun never really was anything but brotherly towards her, even if her feelings are far from sisterly. But yet here she was, isolated from the world, and growing fonder of her enemy day after day.
She cast Kurosaki-kun out of her thoughts, and when she started thinking about Ulquiorra, her radiant smile, complimented with the tint of her cheeks were back on her face. Actually, she thought Ulquiorra had quite a knack at making things awkward, especially when it comes to social things, but he never realised, nor did he care. His lack of knowledge at the social field was quite cute, really, and it was very admirable that Ulquiorra didn't give two hoots about what people thought of him. And who knew Ulquiorra was such a hopeless romantic? Her thoughts wandered to the possibility of Ulquiorra watching chick flicks in his room with a bowl of popcorn and a tissue box at hand, and she laughed internally.
For now though, she needed another plan. Humour is obviously not the way to go. No, this time, Orihime had to do a deep philosophical lecture with Ulquiorra. She had to convince him of the concept of a heart and a soul. She simply had to let that inner romantic out!
WHEW. THIS TOOK FOREVER.
I mean I started this chapter immediately after my tests (which ENDED TODAY, YAY!). Haha, yeah, so much for 'finishing this story before the end of the week'. Sorry ):
Anyway I want to thank all of you for the favourites/alerts/reviews/hits, getting like an email from makes me feel so fizzy inside!
And I hope that you'd consider Grimmjow IC. I know normally he's really mean to Princess, but if he were mean to Princess there is no way I could have written this prank with it being as funny as it is (I hope!). I dunno, I think it's in Grimmjow to be really nice and funny when he wants to, and it's also in him to be as scary as hell.
And the idea of the prank I wrote in here is what I got from a RayWilliamJohnson video (you know the YouTuber that makes comments on viral videos)? Yeah. That prank was hilarious. So not my idea, and I never tried it!
So if you detect any OOC (I'm also a bit scared with Ulquiorra, because I portray him with emotions whereas some people don't at all, but judging from the anime, I think those emotions are hiding somewhere, in denial), or you have any constructive criticism, feel free to review! It's like 2am now so my narrating may not have been very consistent. (8/1: I redid the last part of the chapter to make it sound less awkward. Boo for late night writing!) Yep (: Tanks everybodeh!