Grey Flower

"You taught me how to love, but not how to stop."

Having decided to sleep in that night after a decidedly rough week, I awoke with a start to a searing heat and the sounds of screaming coming from just outside the walls of the house. A teary-eyed Takuma was shaking me violently, trying to pull me out of the bed by my arm. I stared up at him, stunned for a moment, but when he quickly explained the situation outside the cabin, I jumped up and headed for the door; lover in tow. On the way out, I snatched up my parka and mukluks — the ones that I had sworn just a week prior that I would never dare to even think about putting on — and kept running until I was a suitable distance from the burning building. There, Takuma and I watched helplessly as it was quickly engulfed in red flame and black smoke. The thick, choking scent of gasoline was high in the air as several other buildings around us blazed, the people of Heavensent gathering in the middle of the main road, watching as their once peaceful town disappeared before their very eyes.

I threw on my outside wear, beginning to search the sidelines for the culprit when Takuma latched onto my arm in tears. "I'm so sorry, Senri... I should have listened to you; you were right."

I stared at him for a few minutes, the amount of time it took him to fully come to terms with his own apology. Then, I replied with a slight smirk — completely forgiving — "Told you so."

Takuma stared at me in silence, pouting hard as if to hold back the audible sobs. I turned from him, beginning to walk down the nearest side road, which ran away from our cabin, to the north. He followed me, grabbing my hand possessively, and latching onto my arm. I could tell he wanted to be as close to me as possible right now — the usually clear-minded and intelligent aristocrat had just been, for lack of a better term, mind raped — someone who he had trusted with the utmost confidence to be an ally of ours had just betrayed him, and I knew how he must feel. I remembered when his grandfather presented me, or rather my body, to my father to be used as a vessel for him.... Once upon a time, we had all believed the Senate to be allies of my cousin and the idea of pacifism. We had all been betrayed; but no one was affected so directly as I was. For months afterward, I still lapsed back into the unconscious state my father had put me in while he used my body, my face, my voice, to commit the most horrible deeds.... And then Takuma.... My father had used my lover to keep Kaname from harming him. He knew that Takuma cared about me, and it caused him to worry for my body during that time. I never wanted to go through anything like that again; hence, I upped my caution another two steps just to be safe.

That was why I was so wary of Shitsuren, and why every little thing he said tipped me off. That was why I couldn't stand him. And now, I had even more reason to hate him. Where was he when all this was going on? And what had he said or done to Takuma to make him confess his error? Shitsuren Fuyuki would pay dearly when I got my hands on him, with his own life.

I looked up, temporarily disregarding everything. The Lookout remained untouched, and the smell of gasoline didn't taint the wind that blew from that direction. Safety. I shook Takuma off my arm, heading up the rigid slope toward the Lookout. Takuma tried to follow me after a moment, but I turned on him. "Takuma, I know you're distressed right now; but you've got to do something for me. Go down there and move the people. Bring them up to the Lookout. I'm going up ahead to secure the area. Make sure everyone's alright. You're good at that."

Takuma nodded, determindly. "Right.... That makes sense." He stopped for a minute, halfways turned back toward the town. "I'm sorry, Senri. I love you."

"I love you, too," I answered with a warm smile. Takuma failed to return it, and it made my heart wrench. Was there something really that wrong with him? What was he so upset about now? It had something to do with that secret, and I knew it. My own smile dropped, and I turned around to trudge up to the Lookout. Why couldn't I trust him with those words now?

xXXx

After as little as a half hour, people came crowding in around the Lookout, and very few were able to fit inside the small base room at the foot of the tower. I was up in the tower itself, watching as the small town of just over seventy people crowded in around the base. The tower was spacious and wide open, closed off from the outside world by thin sheets of transparent plexiglass, which wouldn't crack as normal glass would in extremely cool temperatures. I stood by one of the windows, surveying the whole area for safety and security. Here, I would be able to see any possible threats as they made their way from several miles away. And the helicopter landing pad was here, too. If need be, I could send a telegraph for a helicopter to come and take as many away as possible. Well, theoretically, anyway. I didn't know how to use a telegraph machine.... And if someone on the other side decided to answer, I'd be lost, because I can't read telegraphs either. Dots and dashes mean nothing to me.

I turned slowly. I heard footsteps almost fifteen feet below — someone was heading up the stairs at an alarming pace.

Don't run up stairs, I scolded internally. You could fall and smash your face. Then where would we be?

I crossed my arms, expecting Takuma's return. But instead, when the door in the floor opened, a streak of bright red flew across the room at a speed even I had trouble registering and latched onto my waist. More than a little shocked, I threw my arms up and stared down at Miyabi with wide eyes. "Miyabi?"

"Shiki-sama, I was so scared! I woke up and the house was burning, and Grandma—" She turned her head and the rest of her sobs were cut off by my parka. I wasn't sure what the rest of the story had been; but I was guessing Grandma hadn't made it out of the house. How unfortunate.... She had no one left now. Usually, I would have pushed a kid like her off by now; but sensing a dire need for just someone now, I slowly — a little reluctantly — held her to my body in what would almost seem like some kind of affection. It was rather awkward for me, but I was certain that she was loving every minute of this, at least somewhere back in her sub-conscious mind. Somewhere. "Shitsuren rescued me.... But he couldn't—"

And she began to cry again.

I began to wonder. Shitsuren saved her from the fire? Maybe he wasn't all bad. Then I shook my head; of course he was bad. Disregarding that, I focused back on Miyabi. "At least you're safe."

"But where will I go? I don't have anyone left.... My Mom, my Grandma... both gone. I don't even know my Dad," she whimpered, and I hugged her closer. There was something so endearing about Kisaragi Miyabi — her eccentric energy could be overwhelming sometimes, not to mention annoying; but she was a good kid. Smart, pretty, polite. I think it was the slightly rounded, angelic face that really got to me. She looked like a young, redheaded, female version of my Takuma; and that really struck something hard within me. My heart wrenched again; the second time that night. Hardly anything like this ever really got to me, so why was I so weak now?

"I'll help you look for your father," I promised her then, and made what I later realized could have been the biggest — and then still, best — mistake of my life. "You can stay with me until then."

She looked up at me then, molten chocolate eyes filled with tears, face streaked heavily with ashes. It was almost as if she didn't believe it. Her eyes searched mine for the answers to a million questions that I just didn't have the answers to; I was just as confused as she was. "You mean...." And then she paused, her breath hitching in her throat. "What about Takuma? Will he be alright with it?"

With a heavy sigh, I lowered my forehead to hers; it was an unintentional gesture, but she was so tall.... "There might not be a Takuma."