Grey Flower

"The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone."

Chapter Ten

"No... Takuma...." She was almost stunned for a moment, waiting for me to tell her it was all a big joke; but I stared solemnly over her shoulder, periwinkle eyes cold as ice. "Then, can I...?" I missed her question. I didn't need to hear it. Miyabi leaned up gently and kissed me without a second thought. I stood there, stunned, before I pulled her off me. How, in all my years of modelling, that had never happened to me before, I could never understand. I had always thought about it, wondering what it would be like to be kissed by some random deranged fangirl; but Miyabi wasn't as random as I had always dreamed about. I fought the urge to run from her — she was battling difficult emotions, and I supposed the additional shock of staying with me (and possibly without Takuma) had scared her. Teenagers didn't often think well in stressful situations — I, for one, knew that all too well.

"You can't, Miyabi. I love Takuma." My voice was firm and she hung her head.

"I'm so sorry.... I don't know what I was— I'm sorry."

I had been hearing that phrase alot lately. I shook my head, realizing how she must have felt when she realized it herself. "No, that's not what I meant. Don't apologize. I know you're confused. I am, too.... It's just that... I don't know, he's been keeping things from me and whenever I try to confront him about it, he dodges."

Miyabi nodded, almost in understanding. "Maybe you should pin him down and force it out of him." It was said almost dumbly, and I laughed lightly. I had tried that already, in the lodge while we waited for our helicopter. Of course, that had been interupted prematurely, much to my displeasure.

"Did you see him downstairs?" I asked, staring at the door in the floor. Miyabi shook her head.

"No, he was still in town, helping some of the wounded up the mountain when I saw him last."

"I'm here now, Senri." The voice took us both by surprize as Takuma pulled himself up into the tower, exerting almost no effort as he did so. I watched him stand, dust himself off and then examine us together; it made me wonder just how much of the conversation he had heard. "Miyabi, could you leave us for a moment?"

"Yes, Takuma-sama." She complied, backing away from me slowly. Then she bowed, respectfully. "Thank you, Shiki-sama. Thank you so much." And with that, she turned and let herself down onto the winding spiral staircase, closing the door behind her. There was a bang as she dropped it on the way down, then the room was silent.

Takuma and I stared at eachother for what seemed like ages before he made a move toward me. Abruptly, I turned my back to him, and I heard his footsteps cease behind me. Gazing out the window before me, I heard Takuma heave a sigh, shifting his weight. The silence between us was strained and awkward, hated by both parties; but I had remembered a strategy for getting what I wanted with Takuma — feigning anger.

"Senri...."

"Don't."

With one word I was able to affect so much in Takuma. I heard him recoil slightly. "But, I—"

"What are you hiding from me, Takuma? Just tell me already." I pressed it in an icy voice, one that shook with pain and anger, jealousy.... I convinced myself; my eyes began to well up with tears. "I can't stand it any more!" I wasn't just acting now. "Why won't you tell me anything, Takuma? I hate this!" I turned and threw myself at him; he caught me in a strong embrace, holding me into his warmth. "I hate that you're avoiding this.... I hate you." My voice dropped to a nearly inaudible whisper, and I felt Takuma tense. "But, I love you so much.... Why are you doing this to me...?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you, Senri." He sounded so cold, so stoic. This couldn't be my Takuma. I looked up to check, only to be deeply disappointed.... It was still him in appearance. "But, I can't do this to you anymore."

He paused, pulling away from me. There was a chair in the corner of the room, and he wheeled it over for me so I could sit down. I did as he told me and sat, obediantly.... Was it that bad? "Underneath Heavensent is a tomb." Then he stopped.

"Is that it?" I was purely confused, and screwed up my face to show it. Takuma smiled, giving a slight laugh.

"No," he told me, fondly. "I just wanted to see you make that face. Anyway, I'm part of an organization called the Cabinet, made up of some of the richest vampires in the country, including Shirabuki Sara and Kaname, himself, as well as one other member of the Night Class." Instantly I remembered some of Rima's attitudes toward me.... She must have been the last member of this Cabinet. "Basically, we're providing funding for a project that the Senate has taken on, even though I don't really agree with it. The Senate found out about the tomb of one of the Great Purebloods and they decided to dig him up. It's a top secret mission, and I came to oversee the work. As far as I knew, they were building the entrance away from the town and needed us to make sure that the humans didn't find out.... But, by some streak of luck, Shirabuki-sama found a way to harness the internal bloodlust of Level Bs so that they would fall three whole classes; and now she's using the intelligence they still possess to make them her army. Of course, Shirbuki-sama didn't consider the safety of the humans, so I suggested that we stay here to protect them.... I wanted to be here, alone with you.... And then Shitsuren turned up.... I didn't think that Kaname was planning on allowing a fifth member in the Cabinet; but.... And then I saw him setting the cabin on fire.... I didn't know what to think; just that I had to get you out."

I stared at Takuma, blankly. I understood just fine, but if he had told me in the first place, I never would have told anyone — he knew that. I told him so, and he shook his head. "You know I can't do that, Senri. When Kaname told me I couldn't say anything to you, I protested; but he stressed the importance of the secrecy of this project, and I had no choice but to stay loyal to him."

I pretended to understand this. He told me everything before, when he was being used as the Senate's gopher. He would betray Kaname for them and not for me? Somehow it just didn't seem right. Or maybe, he saw it as betraying himself. Takuma wasn't selfish, but he might have thought that, somehow, if he told me, then he'd be betraying himself and this Cabinet that he was a part of. Was it so important to him?

"I wanted it to be a surprize for you when I found out who it was," he chuckled then, the smile returning. I watched on, waiting in interest. "A Shiki, Senri. One of your Pureblood ascendents."

"I'm part of a Pureblood line?" I asked, almost dumbly. I knew about the Kuran blood running in my veins — that was obvious. But there was other blood in my veins that was clean and untainted.... "I didn't know that...."

"Mmhmm, I almost couldn't believe it, either. But, I did some research, and it's true. Shiki Kuronue. He was one of three sons born to the First Vampire."

"Then, shouldn't he be a Kuran?"

Takuma shook his head, signifying the fact that I should be ashamed of myself, knowing so little of my own history. It made me feel bad. "Shiki Kuronue constantly fought with his two older brothers, and eventually broke off, calling himself Shiki. He married young and stayed with his human wife until they died together. Because he was a Pureblood, their son — and only child — had his father entombed. His mother was burned, however, because she was only a Level D, and he had very little respect for her. From there, only high-classed vampires have been bred into the lines; but, as a result of one human woman, the Shikis have only made it up to Level B, and will remain there."

"That's... abstract," I breathed, turning my attentions to the floor. Pureblood lines....

Takuma sighed, then. "I wanted to wait until we had raised him so I could surprize you; but now you know, and you won't be surprized...."

I stood, slowly, moving to rest my head on his chest, wrapping my arms up around his shoulders. "I'll still act surprized."

"That's so nice of you," he murmured in return, kissing my forehead. I was content to just stand there like that, in such a comfortable moment with my lover. So simple, so sweet.... But it made my chest tighten, and breathing became a little difficult.

"I love you," I told him, closing my eyes as I sunk into his wonderfully familiar scent. He held me close, running a hand gently over my hair as he laughed.

"You hardly ever say it first. Are you feeling alright?"

I took a minute to think about that question. My chest was getting tighter, restricting airflow more than usual. The blood was pounding through my veins, my entire body heating. "No," I responded, my body growing weak. I was feeling dizzy, and I didn't understand it. What was wrong with me? Maybe I was getting sick from all the cold weather and being outside so often.... No, this was different from a common cold....

This was making me physically sick, and it was all coming up too quickly. I swayed a bit, stumbling backward. Takuma lead me to the chair, and I sat without much other choice. Takuma kept asking me things, but I could barely hear him, and the sight of his lips moving was blurring in and out. My eyes fluttered for a moment before I repayed Takuma for the incident on the bus last week. I sat back, closing my eyes against the heat and the pulsing and the dizziness. I opened my mouth to allow the cool air of the room to invade my body, leaving my insides burning with the clash against fire and ice. I had no idea what was going on, and Takuma was equally confused. I thought of all the possibilities, but I couldn't understand when anyone might have had a chance to.... And then I stopped. Miyabi....

Then, everything went black.