Grey Flower

"It hurts the most when you can actually hear your heart breaking."

Chapter Seventeen

Takuma's comment hit hard. I didn't paticularly care for Yuuki or my unborn niece or nephew, but if either one of them — or both of them — died, then the Shirabuki family would be free to reign. That was the absolute last thing I wanted after my death, and unfortunately, I realized there was nothing I could do to stop it. If Yuuki was sick, then Yuuki was sick; what could I, a dead model, do about this. Of course... I wouldn't be dead for another fifteen minutes; but honestly, what can anyone do in just fifteen minutes?

"Takuma... Forget about Yuuki right now," I whispered, looking up to see the Pureblood Princess herself standing at the sacraficial alter. "When I die, I want you to take care of my mother, okay?"

Takuma seemed shocked by this. "Don't say things like that, Senri... You're not going to die, anyway... I won't let you." He paused, almost heroically for a moment, and I shook my head. Instantly he came down from his high fantasies of running away with me — we both knew that Kaname would hunt us down and kill us if we did that, before we even made it out of that godforsaken pit. And furthermore, I didn't need to hear it to know that was what he was considering. Takuma was way too predictable sometimes...

xXXx

I could very easily and vividly remember a little more than a year ago on a cloudy day when we should have been asleep, Takuma took me with him to his own estate where we sat outside most of the day... I could even remember why we took that few days off... Takuma had said I had been working too hard lately and I needed a break. I had awoken that evening to Takuma closing my cellphone hard. When I cleared my throat in annoyance — who answers someone else's cell while they're sleeping, really? — Takuma turned quickly and realized that I was awake.

"Shiki, it was your manager," he informed me dutifully. Instantly I perked up, annoyance forgotten.

"Really? Did I get the shoot?"

"Yeah, well that's the thing..." He looked off to the side, as if he felt sorry for me, and my mouth dropped. It had been very important that I get that shoot, and I had worked hard for it... I couldn't think of how I would tell my mother, who was the one who had sent me the ad for the shoot in the first place. "Maybe you should come back to the Ichijou estate for a bit. You really look like you could use it."

I stared at him nearly in awe, not coming to terms with what that really meant. Of course, this was the dormmate I secretly admired — the beautiful man that I couldn't help but stare at when I knew he wasn't looking. He was inviting me to his home to relax for awhile... I couldn't think of nearly anything else; but I was still a little nervous about it. I figured that it might be a good idea to try to skip out, just to see if Takuma was joking or not. "And just skip classes?"

"I'll inform Kaname-sama."

It took me a minute to consider this before I nodded slowly. Takuma grinned, and I gave him a small smile in return. "Yeah. I'll go."

"I'll wait for you out front. Don't worry, you won't need your parisol today, Shiki." Takuma whipped the curtains open next to me and I looked out into the night, which was darker than usual. The sky was covered in a thick, heavy layer of cloud. "It's supposed to be like this for a few days."

I nodded, jumping up and pulling my suitcase out from underneath my bed as Takuma left to go find my cousin. I stuffed it with a few days worth of clothes, accessories, and necessities, and I was ready for a vacation. I nearly ran out of the Moon Dormitory to find Takuma waiting with the trunk lid open. He helped me fit my luggage in next to his, and then opened the door for me, just as I was used to. Then, I hadn't noticed or really cared about how well he treated me. My only attraction was to his pretty face and gorgeous body; besides, I expected to be treated like a supermodel, because I was younger and more arrogant then. And Takuma didn't mind doing these things for me. In fact, he probably enjoyed it, being that type of person. After all, he had invited me to his estate and was willing to help me relax for a few days after I had lost a shoot that was very important to me, my mother, and my career.

The Ichijou estate was large, several hundred acres of land, some cleared and some forested. The mansion itself was four levels, seventeen bedrooms — four of which were Palace Suites, eight were Guest Suites, and the remaining five were family bedrooms — something like sixteen bathrooms — one for each of the Palace and Guest Suites, and one for each above-ground level of the house — a huge ballroom, dining room, kitchen, servant's quarters in the second basement, a stable that could house up to a hundred horses at any one time, a huge pool... It was a beautiful home, and I had to admit that it was several times larger than my own — which I could quite easily get lost in, even after having lived there so long. I actually envied Ichijou of this.

"Here's your bedroom." Takuma flung the door to one of the Palace Suites open to let me stare inside in wonder. It was large and tastefully decorated, with a gold and white colour scheme throughout. The floors were tan and white marble, while the walls were all white, with diluted gold silks draped down like unwoven tapestries. To match, the bed was fitted with white silk bedsheets with gold trim and gold-cased pillows. Everything in this room was soft and gentle looking, so calming and comforting. I stepped into the room, cautiously, to avoid disturbing the peace of the moment. I could feel Takuma's smile on me, and let my mouth fall open. Why was it that this room seemed so bright and airy when my own bedroom at the Shiki Manor seemed so dark and cold?

"Like it?" he asked, and I nodded, closing my mouth to swallow hard. He wasn't really putting me up here was he? "Then it's yours. Whenever you come over, this is your bedroom. See?"

I turned to watch Takuma produce a plaque from one of the dresser drawers nearest him, and hang it on the door. In the clearest silver lettering on dark red cherrywood were the words 'Shiki's Cave', and I couldn't help but smile. That was so Takuma to have something like this all... all planned out... He had planned this?

"Ichijou... this is way too much. Are you sure?" It was the first time I had ever tried to turn down something this grand. It was the first time I realized that there was some ulterior motive to this vacation. It was the first time I realized that just sleeping with Takuma wouldn't be enough... It was the first time I realized that I was falling for him...

"You deserve it, Shiki. Enjoy it this week." Takuma smiled, then turned to leave. Before he shut the door behind him, he remembered something and returned for a split second. "By the way, the bathroom is the door to the left of the bed... Why don't you take a bath, relax, and I'll be up to get you for dinner, alright?" I nodded, speechless. I was almost excited to see what the bathroom looked like as Takuma closed the door. But, first thing's first — I needed to unpack.

Later, as promised, Takuma came to retrieve me for an extravagant dinner, made up of all my favourites. I was beginning to notice that Takuma was going out of his way to impress me, and for some reason that seemed... a little strange. Stranger still, it was only Takuma and I at the table that morning. I inquired as to where his grandfather was, and received the knowledge that Ichijou Asato was staying in the Ichijous second mansion... where they usually lived... He was really going hand over foot for me... wasn't he? I was a little embarrassed to know we were alone in the mansion together, save for the staff that kept the place up year-round without fail, obviously. What in God's name was Takuma thinking?

After dinner, I was given a tour of the rest of the grounds that couldn't be seen on first glance — the tennis courts, the riding arenas, the uncountable miles of trail through the woods... We rode through the woods that morning at a steady canter, mounted on two of the smoothest horses I had ever seen — Takuma's was a sorrel gelding named Russia, and mine a mouse grey mare named Misty, and both were trained as simple pleasure horses. Takuma was leading, just because there was something he insisted on showing me on the other side of the woods. When we broke out, we were in another large field, but this one was rougher, full of hills, unlike the grounds closer to the mansion. We slowed to a trot as we exited the woods and approached the first hill where a large, single oak stood, commanding the rest of the clearing like a lonely king. There, Takuma stopped and dismounted; I followed close behind.

"Where are we?"

"Don't worry, this is technically part of the estate as well... I like to come here when I've got things on my mind."

There was a long silence before Takuma began to rummage around in one of his saddle bags, pulling out a bottle of expensive wine with a grin. I watched him while he continued to search the bag. Soon, he pulled out two tall wine glasses, packed inside and out with newspaper... I was betting that would taste good with his selection... "Everything seems to be in one piece." He grinned, setting the wine and glasses near the tree while he unsaddled Russia. He caught the look I must have been giving him and laughed. "Don't worry, they won't go far. Join me?"

When I was finished pulling off Misty's tack, I sat with Takuma on the ground. He handed me a glass of wine, which I accepted gratefully. We watched the horses graze in silence for a moment before Takuma turned his head away from the scene to stare at the clouded sky. "Shiki... we've really got to talk... you know?"

"I know."

"Do you?" He sighed, turning back to me with a serious expression. "You know, you've got to be one of the most amazingly arrogant, stuck-up snots I have ever always expect other people to do things for you, and you're constantly missing classes to go to your stupid parties... Do you have any idea how frustrating it is waiting up until noon for you to come home?"

This was an odd conversation... Had he only called me out here to bitch at me? "You don't have to—"

"Yes, Shiki. I do." His voice was harder now, and I actually began to lean away from him. What was going on? "I worry about you so much, and for the longest time I had no idea why. You make me feel so... wrong, Shiki Senri. I shouldn't feel this way toward you... I don't even know what this is..."

He seemed so distressed... but at least now I could piece together on my own what he was talking about. I relaxed my body and leaned toward him again. "There's nothing wrong with it, Ichijou. If it happens, it happens; you can't help it. I know, it sounds cheesy, but—"

"It sounds stupid, Shiki. Absolutely rediculous! But I... I guess you're right. I can't help it. I'm in love with you!"

That wrang through the silence for several moments. I stared at him in shock... I knew he was trying to find a way to say it, but I hadn't thought he would just... and so... blatantly. He just kind of yelled it out... I could tell that he was thinking the same thing from the look on his face, not to mention the shade of red he was turning. It made me smile to think that all of Takuma's free gifts were working up to this moment when he would finally tell me that he loved me... I couldn't believe it.

"You're not going to say anything?"

"What is there to say...?" I was completely shocked to the point where I couldn't even function properly. I was still letting it sink in when I dropped my glass on the ground between us. Takuma was frowning now as he rushed to pick up the pieces of glass next to me.

"Well, you could say you love me, too, for one." His reply came from beneath a bowed head.

I watched him, slightly confused. "I'm not going to lie to you, Ichijou..."

The look on Takuma's face when he looked up then was probably the most beautifully injured thing I had ever seen, and I instantly regretted my answer. Why couldn't I have just said it? He was so much stronger than I was... And that strength threw down the broken glass, stood so fast I nearly missed the action, and had his horse saddled before I could bat an eye. I rushed to his side as he went to swing up onto Russia's back, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. Of course, an amazing thing happened then, and Takuma toppled over on top of me, all six extra inches of him knocking me over. Russia bolted from the flailing mess we had become, and when we had untangled ourselves, I found Takuma looming over me with a longing look. I knew what he really wanted... the same thing I did. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down for our lips to meet.

It was one of those extremely magical moments... the one where you know that you're with the one person that you'll need for the rest of your life. I could tell that Takuma, new to the entire idea of a love between two boys, was uncomfortable and tense. I pressed my lips closer, tightening my grip around him to make him do the same. But he still wasn't moving. I pulled back, almost angrily.

"It takes two, you know!"

The only reply Takuma could come up with was a stunned sort of spluttering, and the ability to force himself off me. He flopped down on the slight incline, his chest heaving. Had it been that great for him? "Shi-shiki...?"

I sighed, deciding to make his day one more time. "Call me Senri."

He closed his eyes, biting his lip. "Senri..." He let my name roll slowly, and I smiled. He was so cute sometimes. "Senri... Ichijou Senri."

That was going a little far. "We're not even dating yet and already you fantasize like this? Besides, it'll be Shiki Takuma; you don't know what to do with it."

Takuma turned to me then, completely serious. "Do with what?"

I couldn't help it. As if he didn't know! I burst out laughing... And after I noticed that Takuma wasn't laughing with me, I stopped. He really was serious. "Takuma," It felt strange calling him by name. "Are you a virgin?"

Takuma blushed again, and turned his head with his arms crossed. Who was bratty now?

"So... you are, then?" When he didn't answer, I knew. "I'll fix that later. But, until then..."

I took a hold of him and kissed him again before he could protest. And he didn't try to. I let my hand slide down to his chest so that I could push him back and lay next to him, never breaking the kiss. As it became more passionate, the rain began, falling slowly at first. I didn't really mind it until it opened up and began to pour. The two of us broke apart and began to laugh. We knew that we both had the same thing in mind. I saddled Misty as quickly as I could and we headed back home riding double, walking the whole way for Misty's safety. Both of us ended up soaked by the time we returned to my suite, and didn't care either. We were both certain that it gave us the perfect reason to shed our clothes... But because I knew better than to rush into a relationship this way — strange notion, huh? — I forced myself to put on a pair of pajama pants before I climbed into bed with the gorgeous blonde aristocrat. And surprizingly, it didn't take long to fall asleep.