A/N: So, can you believe this? Three more official chapters left, and then an epilogue! I hope you're all excited to read the ending, and then will follow the sequel, Cold Roses, as well! Thanks to everyone for your reviews and support! Love ya all!

Grey Flower

"We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we are in love."

Chapter Eighteen

Our relationship from that day became the most strained, tense thing I had ever willingly entered myself into, and at the same time, I didn't care. There were days when I wondered just exactly how compatible Takuma and I really were, and other times when I was certain that what went on between us was the definition of Heaven. However, both of us had always been certain that we should keep our relationship a secret from the rest of the Night Class; and for a very good reason. One word, Kaname. I knew he didn't particularly care for me before, and when he finally did find out — no thanks to Aidou, but it probably wouldn't have happened if I hadn't attacked Takuma on the stairs of the Moon Dorm, either — we ran into the exact problem we were certain we'd encounter. Kaname took Takuma aside soon after and discussed it with him; very colourfully, according to my lover. Apparently he'd attempted to explain to Takuma that his cousin shouldn't be with his best friend, and had gotten frusterated halfway through. That sounded exactly like Kaname. We decided to ignore him.

And for a year and a half, that worked. We had our daily scraps, nearly always at odds with eachother, and occassionally, we agreed on something. And even when we didn't, we always made up, and it was always euphoric. I was Takuma's first and only, so there was no one he could compare me to; but I had my share of lovers before Takuma, and I was very impressed with his rapidly increasing skill. Honestly, sometimes I had to wonder where he picked these things up. He had once told me it was his instincts, and from the way he made me cringe and mewl without any length of practice at all, I definitely believed him.

And then, after that year and a half, my mother came to visit me at school during the day. I was happy that Takuma was out with Kaname when she arrived, because I knew what she wanted. She handed me a few ads for modelling, a suitcase full of cleaned clothes that I had left the Sunday before which included some new clothes that I had asked for not too long ago, gifts from the family, and then innocently sat on my bed — which was made up of mine and Takuma's pushed together. I watched her, the way she suddenly changed personas, and nearly cringed without letting her see.

"Mom?"

"Come on, Rido," she said, unbuttoning the top few buttons of her shirt. "There's no one here."

My breathing hitched; she had called me by that name again... "No, we're in my dormitory, Mom. Takuma could be back at anytime."

"Rido..." Her voice softened, and she hung her head, the hand she had been unbuttoning with falling to her lap. "You would never deny me anyother time..."

"I... I know; but not here. I don't want Takuma to know about this, it's just between you and I."

She nodded, giving me a downcast look. "I understand. You only love your own nephew's best friend. You don't love me anymore."

This nearly broke my heart, and my resolve snapped, as it always does. "Naoko..." I whispered, giving in to her and kneeling in front of the bed. "Take me if you wish."

"Oh, Rido..." She caressed my face, tilting my head at the same time, pushing my hair away from the tender area on my neck. I shuddered at her touch, and she was thoroughly pleased by the reactions. Her voice dropped until it was so breathy that I barely caught it. "After all this time... still so sensitive..."

I didn't repsond, so my mother leaned down, brushing her lips over the tender flesh before wetting it with her tongue. She pulled back slightly, blowing cool air over the newly moistened area, causing me to shudder again. She was satisfied. Mom pressed back down, this time scraping her fangs against my skin, enough to draw a thin, beaded line of blood. The flesh below healed instantly, and she cleaned the crimson liquid off slowly. I bit my lip, holding back a long sigh and a quick gasp as she buried her fangs to the hilt in my neck. I let her stay there, reaching up to lace my fingers in her hair, the way Rido must've done — otherwise, she'd put my hand there herself.

After what seemed like forever, I felt her pull away, allowing the blood to flow freely down my chest and seep into the low-cut, white cashmere sweater I had put on for Takuma when he got home... Now I'd have to change it... My thoughts were cut short when Mom tipped my head up and leaned down to press my lips to hers, passionately. I didn't move, only allowed her to satisfy herself on her own without my true accompaniment. But it didn't even matter. All at once, I heard the door swing open and let my mother drop me to look up. I slumped to the floor, knowing exactly who it was that had the other key.

"Senri...?"

"Ichijou-kun! What a pleasant surprize! Is your grandfather here as well? Ichio?" Mom got up and flitted away out into the hall, leaving Takuma standing there in the doorway, dumbfounded. I couldn't move. I was so embarrassed, and for once in my life, I was scared.

Takuma didn't want to move, either. I could tell. Neither of us said anything to the other. I could barely even draw the breath... And then, Takuma broke first again. "Senri... wasn't that... your mother?"

I nodded, helplessly as I heard the door shut and footsteps coming up behind me. I didn't bother to turn.

"Senri, what were you...?" He didn't need to ask. When he was close enough, he could watch for himself as blood dripped from the slowly closing wound on my shoulder, which stained my new sweater. "So... you'll share blood with your own mother, but not your lover?" He sounded genuinely upset.

"Takuma, you don't understand..." I couldn't finish. Of course he didn't... But that wasn't what he wanted to hear, and I knew it.

"I don't understand? You're right, Senri. No, I don't." Takuma's voice was hard, but low, and I knew I was in trouble. "Please explain it to me... Why her and not me?"

His voice had softened considerably, and I remained rooted to my seat. "Takuma... my mother and I..." I halted, mid-sentence, trying to find the right way to explain it. Fortunately, I heard a sniffle, which convinced me in itself to turn and investigate the noise. Takuma's head was bowed, but only a blind man would miss the tears that were streaming down his heated cheeks. "Takuma?"

"I hate that you're avoiding this... I hate you..."

My heart shattered at those words, and my throat closed. I couldn't breathe. That was the first time he had ever said that to me, and it made me realize just how hurt by this he really was. "Takuma..." Completely forced.

"But... I love you... so much. Why are you doing this to me?" His hands found his face, and I stood there, unable to do anything but watch the blonde angel cry. Slowly, I reached up, wordlessly to caress his face. My hand was slapped away. Fed up with this, and despising the sight of my lover in tears, I made myself find words.

"Takuma, I've been sharing blood with my mother ever since I can remember."

The confession took half a minute to sink in, but Takuma slowly stoped crying. He sniffled a little, then walked past me to sit on the edge of the bed. "Why?"

"She thinks I'm Rido... And I love her..." Weak, unplanned; but true.

"She's your mother, Senri..."

I shook my head. "That's not what I mean... I mean I love her beacuse she's my mother; but sometimes she thinks I'm Rido. She needs my blood to survive — she won't have anyone else's."

Takuma nodded at this, taking in some sort of understanding. But maybe not quite... "And you just let her?"

"When I was younger, I didn't know any better... I just... And when I got older and began to realize how sacred this was, I tried to stop her, but she..." I closed my eyes. She had almost died of starvation after my futile attempt at taking her off my blood; after all, eating normal food doesn't do anything to help the nutritional needs of a Vampire. We need something extra that's in the blood, Vampire or Human, though notably more plentiful — just generally more satisfying — in the Human. "I mean... it's just a normal part of my life. It always has been, and it's not going to change. You need to accept that."

There was a long pause while Takuma stared at me, mixed emotions dancing across his cherubic features in a complete mess. And then, slowly, as if testing the waters, "Senri... that's not right."

I couldn't imagine hating anybody more at that moment, and I stormed off to my side of the bed, turning my back on him. I crossed my arms and bowed my head, trying to hide myself from him. He knew he had done something wrong, and I wanted nothing to do with him because of it. He could go to Hell for all I cared, and stay there. I wanted him to burn, to rot... I just generally wanted him dead at that moment, and I didn't know why, but it made my eyes fill with tears to think like that.

I still loved him, no matter what.

xXXx

I wanted him to know that. Kaname had joined Yuuki at the alter, and I sighed, standing. No use in trying to escape it, right? I looked down at Takuma, abandoned on the ground and smiled. He didn't return it, and I closed my eyes, forcing back a new round of tears. "You can't save either one of us, Takuma. Sorry." And I turned, trying to walk away, but I could feel his eyes on me.

"See you in Hell," he teased, voice hoarse and weak; and I obliged him with a short laugh. That was so like Takuma. I turned a half-step, ready to turn back and kiss him one last time before I felt a hand on my shoulder. Remaining calm on the outside, while nearly having a heart attack, I turned to see Kaname, tightening his grip on me.

"It's nearly midnight, Shiki Senri. Your ancestor awaits."

His voice was haunting, enough so to give me chills that I couldn't disguise. Sure it was freezing out here, but I really couldn't feel anything right now. My entire body and mind were numb as Kaname began to drag me away to the alter where Yuuki was lead down, and I took my place on its height. I could see everything from here — the whole Night Class, and the Senate, along with their families, and the workers that had constructed all of this faster than I had ever seen done. There was a congregation of every Pureblood known to us, which was understandably few; and they sat off to the said with stadium seating so they were nearly level enough to see Kaname's actions. I recognized the sacrifice style now. It was an ancient Aztec tradition, and from what I had heard, it spilled almost the entire weight of the body's blood mass in very few minutes. According to the only interesting textbooks on Earth, the sacrifice was laid on a stone tablet by four priests, and a fifth sliced across the abdomin, where the diaphram was located. After making this incision, the fifth priest would reach in and grab the sacrifice's still-beating heart and rip it out. The sacrifice's body was then thrown carelessly down the stairs...

This was unsettling; however, Kaname's sacrificial table was cleverly designed to catch as much of the blood as possible and drain it down into the tomb so as to awaken Shiki Kuronue. I wasn't sure whether or not Kaname would rip out my heart; but I realized that he needed as much of my blood to drain as possible, so he wouldn't logically rip my heart out until I was finished bleeding out. Therefore, I'd already be dead when it happened, so I wouldn't care. But still, by the time he had awoken, I would be dead.

I looked up and past four other vampires from the Senate, elaborately cloaked in black mantles with crimson designs embroidered along the edges. A lock of light gold hair slipped out from underneath on of the hoods, and I wondered which one of the members it was. None of the Senate members had hair that shade of blonde at that length...