Ten Sure Ways to Get the Maximum Ride Characters to Hate You
Okay, so I've decided that since I finished this chapter today, I'm going to upload it. I'll do chapter Max 2 tomorrow, unless I finish it today. If I do Max 2 today, then I'll Omega tomorrow, unless I also do Omega today... Yeah, I'm rambling.
Hey, I just realized something...
Max: -eyes bug out- Seriously!?
Moi: -whacks with Furry Minkle #7- I forgot about Celeste!
Max: Ow... -rubs head- What a shocker.
Moi: -whacks with Furry Minkle #7 again- So, here's who I have done/am going to do, in order:
Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, Total, Ella, Dr. Martinez, Jeb, Ari, Akila/Magnolia, Uber-Director, Mr. Chu, Max 2, Omega, Anne, Brigid, ter Borscht, Gozen, Lissa, Sam, and Celeste. Alrighty? Alrighty. And now... Chapter Mr. Chu!
Mr. Firstnamegoeshere Chu
1. Refer to him as "Chewbacca" for the rest of eternity. "Chewie" also works well.
2. Saunter up behind him and whisper in a freaky voice, "You... are... going... to... die..."
3. When he freaks out, drop to the floor and roll away, so he doesn't know it was you.
4. Repeat. Multiple times.
5. Sing an altered version of Jingles Bells any times he comes near, loudly. (Here's the altered version:
Jingle bells, Mr Chu smells,
He just laid an egg
Does he have, bird DNA?
Now he'll have to pay!)
6. Sing said altered version of Jingle Bells offkey.
7. Three words: Chinese water torture!
8. Tell him you're going to do what his name tells you to do. Repeatedly.
9. When he asks what the heck you're talking about, grin evilly and say, "Cut Him Up".
10. When he runs away, chase after him and bash his head in with a fluffy pink slipper.
Did anyone else notice the irony in "fang" and "chu" (pronounced "chew")? I just realized that...
R&R?