Sorry for the long leave :& had grad and camp and whatnot xD And I forgot this last time but we ARE PRO HEALTHY GUMS :DD

Lex's POV

Oh – and – who – is – this – charming – young – fellow.

That's the only way I can describe Dave's tone. He had raised his eyebrows at Drake before haphazardly helping us get our crap into the back trunk.

Now Drake and I are sitting in the back of the car, laughing and writing crude messages on the windows.

"Hey, uh, Drake—Mister Merwin, what do you major in?" My dad is trying extremely hard to make conversation.

I can't help grinning as Drake pulls on his best dumb jock voice. "Uh, like, lunch?"

Paige's unnaturally high voice has gone up at least half an octave today. Her laughter comes out sounding like a squeal. "Stop joking, Drake! You're so funny!"

I lean forward so that my head is between the Paige bobble head and Dave, who is currently frozen in a position not unlike that of The Thinker's. You know, had The Thinker been driving a car.

"Dave, he doesn't exactly major in anything."

"Like, detention maybe? Major means, like, in charge of, right?"

I wonder how Drake can pull off this nauseously moronic voice so well.

Dave's face goes pale. "Alex, we will talk when we get home."

"What, like, about me? What, you think I can't hear you? Is that what you mean, old man?" Drake kicks the back of Dave's seat hard.

"No – just – about – her – grades."

Paige's nervous piggish laugh echoes throughout the car.

This could be a nice vacation.

Drake's POV

Lex is loaded. Her dad drives this fancy Porsche and her stepmother looks like she's had her nose done more than a couple hundred times. Her house is double the size of mine and I get my own huge guest room.

I channel brainless. A mix between Caine and the stereotypical male bimbo. "Could I share a room with Lex or something?"

Dave is having muscle spasms in his face. His eye twitches and his lip trembles. He looks like he's going to throw some shit. "Mr. Merwin, we believe in separation of the sexes here."

"Well I'm not calling Lex a dude or nothing, but—"

His face blows into red and he snaps, "YOU CANNOT ROOM WITH HER!"

I furrow my eyebrows. "Then, like, you want me to room with you or something?"

"Alex, please come talk to Mr. Merwin!"

He leaves the room in a fit of rage.

Lex ducks in a moment later and does kind of a happy dance. Yeah, she's cute sometimes. "You are awesome!" She throws her arms around my neck and then pulls me into her happy dance.