Disclaimer – Please see chapter 1
A/N – Thank you so very much to those of you that left a review for the last chapter. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me any and all feedback you send me. And seeing as i haven't had the time to reply to you all & you have been so nice leaving me all the wonderful reviews i am posting this tonight instead of tomorrow. Story is beta'd by myself so any remaining mistakes are all mine, so I apologize in advance. I have decided to try to post 2 chapters a week, but I can't promise you that! R & R Enjoy!
Fall Out Boy – Chapter 4 First impressions
Both Sara and Kye were laid up on the top of the hospital bed, Kye dressed in a blue hospital gown and his under ware was rolled up in a foetal position on his side, with Sara facing his back up close to her chest, an arm and elbow protectively around his upper torso as her hand gently stroked the hair at the side of his temple.
Kye looked to be finally resting now, but Sara was completely awake staring out of the rooms window in a world of her own, looking slightly sad as she absently kept up her soothing gesture.
Hearing a door open in the corridor Grissom turned to see Clare the nurse carrying a tray with drinks walking towards him "Is there a problem Mr Grissom?" she asked seeing him still at the door to the room.
"The boy......Kye...He's asleep, but he's on the top of the bed........I ...I wasn't sure whether to intrude" Grissom said the first words coming to his mind, as he flustered a bit at the thought of being caught as a voyeur by the nurse, something he'd often indulged in where Sara was concerned, but only when he knew he was safe to do so "Do you have a blanket that we can cover him with?" he added very quickly seeing the nurse smile gently.
Claire placed the tray down on a nearby cupboard in the hall, then opened it to pull out a thick blanket handing it to him "Here you go. I'll leave the drinks there for you. There's a parents room down there for you to chat with your colleague if you need some privacy" she offered pointing down the corridor and handing him the blanket "I need to get on with my rounds" she said walking off.
Going back to the door and seeing the same as before as he looked through the glass, he inhaled a deep breath then let it out slowly gathering his wits about him in preparation for this sure to be difficult conversation.
Pushing the door open slowly and entering, Sara's head turned to the door fixing her gaze on him, she let out a heavy resigned sigh seeing who it was before slowly and gently easing up off the bed without disturbing Kye.
Holding up the blanket and stepping forward, Grissom indicated silently to Sara to see if it was okay for him to cover up the child, and seeing her nod of approval he placed it over Kye making sure to tuck it in where needed, taking in the brief time as he did so to take in the boys troubled features in sleep.
That done he turned to Sara who was now stood tense with both her arms wrapped around her middle, a protective stance he'd learned from his many body language research sessions, and he knew she was expecting a confrontation over this with him.
"There's a coffee for you outside in the corridor....Can we just step out for a little while to talk?" Grissom said with a slight smile to try to make her relax a little.
Quickly glancing over at the bed with a softened look upon her face, she decided it would be okay just to be outside the room for a short time, then walked to the now held open door for her.
Grissom stepped over and picked up both cups handing one over to Sara "Nick brought me up to speed with the situation. Greg is with him now finishing up the processing at the scene, and I'm waiting on them sending any appropriate paperwork needed here at the hospital, or an update call to let me know how things are going" Grissom said then took a sip of his drink keeping his eyes on her.
Sara nodded breaking eye contact with him looking down at her cup.
"Sara........" Grissom started but was interrupted abruptly by her.
Sara now locked her eyes on his "Grissom........Just don't give me the empathy lecture again please. Save it for Nick and the others" she said defensibly before carrying on determinedly "Kye was scared, terrified and cowering in a corner.....He needed comfort and reassurance.......And I gave it to him when he most needed it" she said hoping he'd understand her motives for her instinctive actions at the scene "I know what he was going through" she added in a quieter sad tone.
Grissom felt a strong pang of empathy, and sadness himself right now, for Sara as she'd spoken the last words so sadly, he knew there was much more to her traumatic childhood, horrors untold to probably no other person, he only wished that she'd not suffered too much, the very thought of her being hurt made his stomach churn.
But he had to take control of this situation before things got too ugly with child services, or even his own superiors like Conrad Ecklie who was just jumping at the bit to fire Sara still, got wind of all this.
Letting out a long breath Grissom tentatively chose his words carefully "Sara.....I'm concerned.....I don't think this is good at all for you right now.......Or the boy. To get too attached like you are both doing" he said seeing her begin to shake her head "You need to step back from this case before either of you gets hurt more than needs to be right now" he added a little apprehensive, waiting for the explosion that was Sara Sidle.
"I don't believe you. I thought you of all people would understand why I am doing this" the explosive words were out of her mouth before she had time to think "I'm not going to abandon him now Grissom" she spat out at him annoyed "Who else has he got to offer him comfort at this time? He needs it" she drew in a quick breath then continued "And I'm going to be the one giving it to him until a relative can be located. Okay" Sara said in a no nonsense tone glaring at him now, before clanking the cup back down on the tray spilling the rest of the contents.
Briefly closing his eyes to reign in any emotions at her words, and her lack of understanding of his position in all this as her supervisor and friend, he then spoke as calmly as he could, in a controlled voice hoping his next words would get through to her "Sara..I don't want to have to take you off the case, but your not making that decision any easier for me right now".
"Fine!" she said raising her voice anger clearly showing now "Okay problem solved Grissom. Take me off the case, but I'm taking some personal time starting right now. And I have ten weeks on the book if I need to take more time later" Sara spat at him as she went to grab the door handle to go in to the room.
This was going a whole lot worse than he had first anticipated, yeah he'd expected her to be annoyed with him at his words, but this anger that she had displayed more recently and now, took him by surprise knowing how much of an ultimate professional she'd acted at all other times over the years.
Grasping her elbow in a light grip he stopped her path into the room "Sara please?. That wasn't a threat......I didn't.......I was just...I..I'm worried.....About you" Grissom's words tumbled out without thought as he tried to do damage control on the situation.
Facing him now, Sara's anger was still present, but her features softening slightly as she said calmly "Don't be. I can take care of myself Grissom. I always have done" then she slipped quietly back into the room pulling her arm out of his hold leaving him standing there.
Shocked and feeling like he'd been somehow slapped by her, he stepped back from the door slightly upset by her lack of taking his offer of trying to help, and protect her from giving Conrad more ammunition to throw at her.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose as he stepped back to lean against the wall, he chastised himself silently, This is exactly why I don't get too close to people, I'm no good at this damned human interaction stuff when emotions are involved, I never was, and never will be. I just end up hurting the people I care about with my words and actions when trying to show that I care and truly want to help.
I really don't want to hurt them, especially not her, not Sara of all people, but I can't seem to stop myself at doing it at times.
Why the hell do I have these strong emotions and feeling for her specifically? From the very first time she spoke up at that academy conference and caught my attention so abruptly like she did.
Huffing at himself a little self deprecatingly, then shaking his head before glancing at the hospital room door she'd disappeared behind, he chuckled slightly, because she's the one, and I know it. I've always known it, known that my feelings for her run very deep, even though I've fought them off for nearly five years now. But it's just not getting either her or I anywhere, apart from making us both miserable and irritable with each other when we clash all the time.
I need to stop all this pushing her away because I'm too scared to let her get close to me. It's not fair, to either of us.
I need to get over all my stupid damned insecurities, rationalize my reasons for not allowing her in. Then fix this with her, our friendship first, then maybe, just maybe with any luck it's not too late, too late to start getting myself together and making a start towards a possible romantic relationship with her.
Deciding he needed more time to think before he made another attempt to speak with Sara, and try to think up a plausible apology that she'd accept, he walked off to find a cafeteria in the building, thinking some food inside him and a hot drink would help both his migraine and his thoughts,seeing as he'd not gotten a chance to finish the other cup minutes ago.
As Mr Grissom walked off down the corridor with his shoulders slumped and his head lowered, Claire stepped out of the doorway she'd been hiding in as the two CSI's argued, she hadn't wanted to intrude, so had hidden and listened.
Seeing the man's defeated and reserved posture now, Clare recognized all the signs, her interest had been peaked earlier by the nurses station when Mr Grissom had defended Miss Sidle quickly and dismissed the other woman more abruptly than was probably needed.
A man clearly in love with Miss Sidle, protective, caring and worrying about her, now upset that they have fought. What's the story with these two? She pondered as she went about her work on the floor.
A/N – I hope you all like this instalment of the story, the next chapter will reveal more details about the case and Grissom will attempt to apologize and try to get things back on track with their friendship. Next post will be possibly be Sunday most likely, earlier if I get enough incentive to do so!
Please take the time to leave a review, I really appreciate them and look forward to reading them.