Bella POV

"What?" I just stared at Emmett, unable to think of sweet, protective Alice missing. "Alice isn't missing.. I just saw her.."

"She's missing all right, Bella." He looked at Edward and I, and grinned big. "Whens the wedding?"

"Bite me, Emmett," Edward glared at him.

I looked back and forth between them both, then finally gave up trying to understand what the hell they were talking about.

"Okay, I am NOT going to pretend that I know what's going on here, because I don't, but we need to put this stupid conversation on hold until we find Alice."

They both looked at me, and Edward sighed. "Yeah, your right, Bella."

Emmett looked at me, and shrugged. "Fine."

I was about to ask Emmett some questions, when Charlie came into the room. He looked shocked. He looked at Emmett and Edward then me.

"..What the hell are you two-" He cut himself off before he could finish.

I pretended I didn't know what he was talking about, and forced a laugh. "What are you talking about, Dad? I mean, they may look and act like aliens from another planet, but that's besides the point."

"..What the hell are you and Edward going to do at the beach for the entire weekend, Bella?"

I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. For a second there, I had thought he found out about the secret.

"We're going to-"

"Hang out with my family," Edward cut in, smiling down at me.

"Your family?" Charlie asked sceptically, with a raised eyebrow.

"The entire family, Chief Swan." Emmett put in with a grin. "Our grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, y'know, the entire family."

Charlie seemed to relax at that. "Oh, well. Um. Have fun then.." He looked at Edward and pointed his index finger at him. "You had better take good care of my daughter."

Edward pulled me close to his side, draped his arm around my shoulders and smiled at him. "Of course, Chief Swan. I'll protect her with my life."

When Charlie had left, I glared at Edward. " "I'll protect her with my life,"? That's so.. Ugh."

He smiled at me, amusement in his eyes. "You're adorable. I can't wait to get you in bed."

I glared at him, as Emmett put a hand on Edwards shoulder.
"Hey, dude, um.. Could you wait until AFTER I leave to start talking talking dirty to her? Cause like, I really don't need to be turned on right now."

Edward spun around, amusement gone from his eyes. "I am not going to 'talk dirty' to her, you pig. Just because you and Rose do, doesn't mean I will."

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "How'd you know we do that, Sex Ed? Unless... -he gave a mock gasp- you listen at the door."

"I do NOT listen at the door, Emmett!" Edward was now giving him the death glare, and I was struggling not to laugh for fear I might piss off both of them.

"No? Well, why is it then that I have a video of you doing so?"

"You son of a-"

I couldn't hold back, I laughed. They both looked at me, or rather, Emmett grinned at me while Edward gave me a death glare.

"I-I'm.. sor-ry.." I stuttered, choking on the laughter. "I..couldn't.. help... it.." I finally got my laughter down to a controllable laughter, and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"..Who's up for dirty, wild, hot, steamy sex? I'll call Rose and we'll have a foursome." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows.

I managed to, just barely, control my laughter.. Until Edward gave Emmett the death glare. Then I was a goner.

Emmett joined in, and then Edward also did.. When we calmed down, and about to talk about Alice, when we heard a splash, laughter, and angry curses coming from the street.

We all looked at each other, then raised down stairs, and saw Jessica walking through the door.. Or rather, around the door.

She looked gorgeous, as always, except for the huge black spot on her shirt.

"What happened to you, Jess?" I asked. She pouted.

"Some kids threw something at me." She turned around to look in the mirror in our hallway, and bit my cheek hard. For the back of her skirt, was gone... And showed her pink and blue bunny underwear.

Edward chuckled, and Jessica looked at him in the mirror. "What's so funny?"

Edward then began to pretend to cough, while Emmett bent down to pretend tying his shoe.

I bit my cheek hard and prayed that I wouldn't smile or laugh.

"What?!" Jessica demanded.

I patted Edward on the back, and he pretended to clear his throat. "Nothing, sorry. Bad case of the coughs."

She rolled her eyes, and turned around to us. "Well, I gotta run, tootles."

Before I could say a word, she had pounced out of the house.

I looked at Edward and Emmett. They looked at me.

The laughing erupted then, and I laughed so hard I fell to the floor.

Bella!