Nihlus sat at her bed side in the med-bay holding her hand. She was clear to go. Just sleeping, but he worried none the less. Alenko was a few beds over. He was sleeping as well, hooked up to an i.v. and receiving blood. He'd lost quite a bit even with the aid of medi-gel. Doctor Chakwas was the only other person in the room. She'd given him a knowing glance when he came to see Sonya, informing him that her vitals were within range, but her brain waves were off the charts. She seemed to be sleeping well, no struggling or furrowed brow, but her REM sleep was far more active on the monitors than it should have been. He hoped that she was getting something useful out of this.

An hour later Shepard woke. She felt the softness of the sheets at her fingertips and the warmth of a hand in hers before she opened her eyes to see Nihlus sitting beside her. She gave his talons a squeeze and grinned up at him from the pillow.

"Looks like I needed rescuing again, Spectre." She teased.

Nihlus grinned back. "I've already sent the recommendation, so I hope you've learned enough to rescue yourself next time."

Sonya's eyes widened slightly. "Why?"

"Because you deserve it. I can't be selfish. My selfishness is what nearly got you killed by Saren. I should have been more careful."

"The beacon is what nearly killed me." She protested. "How did you know about the pills?"

"What?"

"The pills Alenko gave me for the pain..."

"You're eyes were dilated." It was one of many clues, but the easiest to detect.

Sonya didn't reply.

"I should go." He said. He'd been ignoring the Council's messages.

Sonya nodded her head in understanding. He had duties to attend to.

For a few seconds he continued to sit there, looking into her deep eyes. Saren was more an animal now than any human he knew, least of all her. He bent and pressed his mouth to her forehead before he released her hand and left the med-bay.

"Commander?"

Shepard turned her head to see Alenko was awake; groggy, but awake.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Why did the Spectre pick me?" He asked through a hoarse voice.

Shepard's heart sank a little. She didn't want to answer the question. It was clear from his reaction on Virmire that he and Williams had cared about one another on a personal level. Of everyone on board, her loss was going to be hardest on him.

"You happen to be the one guarding the bomb. He chose the mission." She replied. It was the best answer she could come up with.

Kaiden closed his eyes and rolled his head back on the pillow then looked up at the ceiling.

It was true that he had forged a close friendship with Williams. He still held out hope for Shepard's affections at the time. What am I supposed to do now? He was almost certain Shepard had a relationship with the turian Spectre. To each their own... Williams was dead. He was alone, again. Nice guys finish last, right?

"Commander?"

"Yes, Lieutenant..."

"Permission to speak freely, ma'am."

"Granted."

"I'm not sure were we stand. I mean, after some of our conversations, if it's not to forward... I thought maybe..."

"It's okay, Kaiden. I won't blow a gasket if you're not exceedingly polite."

"Understood, Commander." He paused for a moment. "Do I have a chance with you?" he asked more boldly.

"Kaiden," She wished he would look at her. "I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you." She said softly.

"But you feel that way about the turian."

Shepard suddenly felt very defensive. Who is he to judge me?

"My personal relationships are private, Lieutenant. I count you as a friend, but that doesn't make you privy to the rest of my affairs."

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."

She sighed.

"Yes." She answered, reluctantly. "I do."

"I'm not judging you, Shepard." He said, rolling his head to look at her. "I just wanted to clear the air."

She wanted to grin at him. To ask about Williams. To tell him he would find someone. But she didn't. She just stared at him until he succumbed to sleep.

The doctor heard the conversation. It made her think of other conversations she'd herd in the quiet of the med-bay after a big battle. Confessions made on death beds. Secret love revealed between solders when they knew no one else was in the room to judge them. It wasn't always what you would expect.

She remembered treating two salarians once, both mortally wounded from a battle. She had done all she could, but they could not be saved from death. They lay in beds next to the other in silence until the rest of the team had been treated and released. Then, in the quiet of the empty med-bay they looked at each other. They held hands across the space that separated them.

She had asked them if they wanted the beds pushed together. It wasn't the first time she'd given dying lovers the courtesy. They had agreed with a nod. She pulled the curtains around them and their last moments died with them. She kept with her the whispers she heard through the sterile white fabric. Confessions of love and silent regret. When they stopped breathing she had to separate the beds again. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done to undo their hands. They had died looking into the other's eyes, hands clasped between them. She blinked back a tear remembering them.

Liara exited the back room a few minutes later. She went to Shepard with a polite smile on her lips and genuine concern in her light eyes.

"How are you, Commander?" She asked softly.

"I'm fine. The nightmares are... intense, but I've had them before."

"Anything from the cypher?"

"Not yet."

"I may be able to help." Liara said.

"How?" Shepard raised her brow in curiosity.

"It would be similar to what you experienced on Feros. I would access the visions and the cypher in your mind. With my knowledge of Protheans, I may be able to help decern some of the information. Fit the pieces together into a coherent message."

"Okay. Do it."

"Wait! Wait..." Chakwas interrupted. "I want to monitor this, closely. We don't need our Commander going into a trauma induced coma."

"It will be more strenuous for me than for her. I am not adding anything." Liara defended herself.

"I will be keeping an eye on you too, Dr. T'Soni. We don't know what effect pulling the visions from Shepard's head will have on you."

Chakwas gathered a few pieces of equipment and produced a mobile scanner.

"Whenever you're ready." She said at last.

Liara helped Shepard sit on the edge of the bed, then stood in front of her.

"Try to relax, Commander." She said softly as she brought her face in close to Shepard's and took her hands in her own. "Embrace Eternity!"

Liara's eyes went black like the asari's on Feros had. The visions flooded to the front of her mind. Bits of information, conversations that made since though she couldn't understand the words, fires, screaming, bizarre merging of flesh and tech. Then the sun and planets came into view. Sovereign, with the red eyes and pure terror of an entire race being whipped out.

Shepard was able to focus on Liara's lovely face once more. Her eyes were wide with the fear she'd just shared. Chakwas helped the asari sit down.

Shepard felt fine, or at least no worse than before. Liara seemed faint.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine... or I will be." The asari replied.

"Did you see anything that might tell us what our next move should be, where the Conduit is?"

"No, I..." Liara shook her head. "Maybe. The third planet... the structures... I need some time."

"You should lie down." Chakwas said, and ushered her to an empty bed.

"Am I free to go doc.?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, you can go." Chakwas answered."In a few hours..."

Shepard nearly pouted like a child. She watched the clock until the time was up. Liara slept the whole time.

Shepard eased down off the bed and made her way to Kryik's quarters. He wasn't there, but he had left a data pad on the low table by the sofa. She picked it up to read it.

Shepard,

I am in the com room with the Council. I'll see you soon with up dates on our mission.

Kryik.

Simple and professional, in case anyone else got a hold of the message. She would wait. She made herself comfortable on the bed, but her lids were heavy and her head still hurt. The pillows were soft and the bed more comfortable than the ones in the med-bay. She drifted off to sleep before Nihlus returned.

"Saren is formidable enough without an army of krogan serving under him." added the turian Councillor.

"The krogan were to be an army for Sovereign, a Reaper." Kryik corrected the Councillor.

"Yes... We saw mention of this on your report." the salarian Councillor began uneasily. "Sovereign. A sentient machine. A true artificial intelligence. This news is quite alarming... if it turns out to be accurate."

"Sovereign is a Reaper. Saren admitted it. I talked to a holo projection of it."

"He's playing you, Kryik." the turian Councillor scoffed.

"It's highly possible that Saren is using information to throw you off balance." the salarian Councillor interrupted. "Our own intelligence has never turned up any collaborating information."

"Why do you doubt my word? I have never mislead you in the past. My instincts are part of what has made me one of your best!" Kryik reminded them.

"Yes, and you were trained by Saren. He knows you well, Kryik. He knows how to lead you astray. That is one reason why Shepard was sent with you." said the Turian Councillor.

"Try to see this from our perspective, Kryik." the asari Councillor urged. "Saren is a threat we can recognize. However, as far as we know the Reapers only exist in the minds of the geth."

"Our decisions affect trillions of lives. We cannot act on the accusations of a single person, even a Spectre, without solid evidence." the salarian Councillor agreed.

"The Council cannot take any official stand here. If you truly believe that Sovereign is the real threat, you are free to take whatever steps necessary to stop it, and Saren. Good luck, Spectre, from all of us." The asari Councillor nodded to Kryik and the holo images disappeared.

Kryik felt even more defeated than he had before. It had never been so difficult for him to convince the Council of something he believed to be true with even less evidence. The threat had never been on such a large scale before, either. He felt like he was banging his head against a wall. He made it to his quarters. When he walked in and saw Sonya waiting for him, asleep on the bed, he crumbled.

He didn't cry. No. Spectres, soldiers, men... do not cry. They do not whine or run to the arms of a woman. They don't drown themselves in alcohol or drugs. No. when a bastion of hope crumbles in a moment of weakness it lays in the bed of its own shame and starts to pick up the pieces and mortar them back together. That's what Nihlus did. He made slow strides to his bed and climbed into its firm comfort, exhausted. Hours later he woke to find Sonya still asleep next to him, her arms curled around his waist and their legs intertwined. She smelled of rain water and antiseptic. He tightened his arms around her, holding her close enough to feel her breath on his neck and her heart beating though his chest.

"The visions, they're a distress call sent across the galaxy by the Protheans as a warning of the Reapers only it came too late. The buildings and other structures, I recognize them from my work. Ilos. The conduit must be there. You can only get to Ilos through the Mu relay." Liara went on more excitedly than either of them had ever seen her.

"We have to tell the Council." Kryik said. He was not looking forward to it. "Saren will be waiting for us. We will need reinforcements."

He left without further word. Shepard looked after him as he left his quarters. After seeing what the Council had put him through, she wasn't sure she wanted to be a Spectre.

"Shepard," Liara interrupted her thoughts. "What will you do when you go back to the Citadel?"

"What do you mean?"

"About you and the Spectre. Others will notice." Liara explained.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess." Shepard shrugged. "We will do what we can to keep it quiet. Turians and humans are friendly, they're just not that friendly. Not yet. Maybe one day the species barriers that groups like Terra Firma try to build will crash down on their toes. Until that day comes, any inter-species relationship is going to have its hardships, but especially humans it seems. Our relationship complicated by the Spectres and the details of turian and human history. Nihlus is... different among his people." She couldn't help but smirk at Liara.

"I hope you find happiness." Liara said.

The sincerity of her words warmed Sonya. It was nice to have a friend on board she could have 'girl talk' with. She was just 'one of the guys' when she talked with Garrus.

"I should go." Liara smiled. "He'll want you alone when he returns." Liara teased.

"Liara!" Sonya turned a little pink with embarrassment.

Kryik returned a few moments later. His face was not as severe as it had been when he left. He took his seat by Shepard.

"The Council is massing a joint-species fleet to deal with Saren and the geth."

Shepard's face lit up. "That's great! It's about time."

"That's not all." Kryik warned. "Ambassador Udina wants you to report back to the Citadel. I'm almost certain the Council is going to grant you Spectre status, but I have a bad feeling about going back. Something isn't right, Shepard."

She noticed he seldom used her name, even in private, if he was talking about work. In a way it made it easier to keep the two separate; to relax when they weren't on duty, or talking about it.

"Whatever it is, we'll find a way around it, or through it."

Kryik nodded his agreement, then took her hands letting the Spectre fade into the background for a while.

Nihlus pressed his mouth against her soft pinkish lips. She didn't hesitate to respond, parting her lips to lay claim with her tongue before her lips found purchase. He parted his own in return, snagging her tongue eagerly with his own. She pulled back a little, in surprise when she nicked the sensitive flesh of her tongue on one of his needle like teeth.

"Oh!"

"I'm sorry," He said, withdrawing. "Did I hurt you?"

"It's okay. I just nicked my tongue." She grinned.

Nihlus cupped her face in his talons. "Let me see." He said softly.

Sonya fidgeted a little. She hated going for check-ups and she hadn't 'played doctor' since she was a kid.

Nihlus' thumb pad eased her mouth open. A tiny drop of red blood bloomed on the tip of her tongue. He leaned in as if to inspect the wound then caressed it with his tongue. There was a slight metallic taste over the sweetness of her mouth. She moaned a quiet sound as he kissed her, more mindful of his teeth.

Hands roamed over military issue casual, eventually removing them. Breathing became panting in desperate desire for the other. She mounted him on the sofa, pressing her breasts against his chest and her hips to his waist. He could smell her want as it soaked through her panties. The protective leathery folds moistened. His arousal extended from him, hard and throbbing, slowly making it's way to the even wetter warmth of her body. One talon loosened her hair from it's binding while the other carefully caressed her back.

She took in a sharp breath when the head of him pressed hard against her panties blocking his entry. The cotton felt rough of the sensitive skin of his sex. She saw the minor discomfort on his face.

"Don't worry." She whispered.

She grinned as he watched her hand graze over the soft skin of her own body down to the only garment she still wore. A sighing groan left his chest when she pushed the fabric aside to expose the reddening desire hidden beneath. She settled over him enough that his shaft would hold the fabric away, his head just barely inside her heat. She wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and caressed his fringe with the other as she lowered herself onto him. They moaned together as the heat from the other smoothed over their skin. She arched her back, breathing her pleasure to the ceiling. His body's lubricant allowing her to swallow him completely on the fist pass.

Nihlus grazed his muzzle over the soft, smooth skin of her chest, smelling the sweet musk of her body. He flicked his tongue over and around the erect hardness of her deep pink nipples. Her sighs and soft moans as she passionately rode him urged his own from his chest. Her body moved like the tide in his lap. The soft wet sounds of their union was the rhythm for their song. She cried out his name in a breath as his ridges aroused the swelling gland that would bring her to climax. Her breathing became shuddering moans. He left his talons in her hair, cradling her head in his palm while the other left her hips to caress the handful of breast, and tease the nipple between the pads of his claws. It brought a blush to her cheeks.

He liked the feel of her hair, strange and fascinating, as it slipped between his fingers. Her inner walls spasmed around him, releasing hot fluid as she came. Her lips quivered, uttering strange words that didn't translate. He pressed her to him, growling his pleasure as a purr in her ear and against the skin of her neck. The vibrations of his tone amplified the waves of ecstasy that rolled through her.

Nihlus secured her in his arms and stood up. She hooked her legs over his hips and locked them around him, holding on for the journey. He continued to nuzzle and kiss her as he made his way to the bed. The rocking of his hips pulled another orgasm from her before he was more than half way across the room. The wetness was beginning to run down his legs. He wanted more.

He cradled her in his strong arms. one leg propped up on the mattress. He thrust his hips against her as she rocked her body into him. Her head rolled back as she moaned her pleasure. He leaned over her, hungry for each sound she made at his touch. He waited for the arch of her back and the quivering of her body before laying her on the edge of the bed.

His dominance was gentle, but firm. His purrs becoming growls of ecstasy. He unhooked her thighs from his hips, pushing them wide. He watched himself push in and slide out of her swollen, wet lips. With every thrust he pushed her a little further up the bed, climbing the rest of the way onto the mattress following his want over the sheets until he lay over her. The fire of desire grew with the rise and fall of the flesh where he penetrated her. Her fingers gripped his arms in desperation as the orgasms toppled over each other. Heat boiled in his loins. Her sex was a quivering vice on his shaft. Her body trembled beneath him as she breathed his name. The hot river of her apex was joined by his release in a low groaning growl as he pushed himself deeper inside of her, lifting her hips of the bed with its force.

"Oh, god, Nihlus!" Sonya breathed, once she had breath to do so.

He lay over her, supporting his upper body on his elbows as he cradled her under him. The length of him still throbbed inside her. He kissed her between panting breaths until the kisses became deeper and less desperate. His talons caressed her face and ran through her hair. He rolled his hips from time to time while he receded into himself to hear her moan beneath him and the sticky wetness that was between them, as much as to feel the flesh of her sex spread a little further at his persistence. She would shudder and try to close her thighs when the waves of pleasure washed over her. He pumped himself a few more times, taking her leg and bringing it to her chest for maximum penetration, earning one last climax before he released her.

Nihlus lay beside his lover, more exhausted than he had been. Sonya lay panting, her hands lay lax by her face. Perspiration glistened on her skin like morning dew. A few new scratches arched over her ribs and hips and down her back. He managed to control his urge to bit her. After a some time Sonya broke the silence.

"You are amazing." She breathed.

Nihlus chuckled then rolled onto his side to face her. He propped himself up on one arm and traced over the definition of her body with the talons of the other. Sonya giggled when his talons grazed over a ticklish spot on her ribs, then rolled onto her own side mimicking his posture. He let his hand rest over her hips. Her free hand traced the white marks on his face before resting on the bed.

Nihlus gazed into her eyes. He knew he loved her. He'd all but said it. He didn't know what was going to happen once they reached the Citadel, but if the Council meant to separate them, remove him from this mission, he wanted to leave her with no regrets of things he'd not told her.

"For a long time I was confused about my feelings for you. I pondered them, tried to rationalized them... but I don't need to think about my feelings for you anymore." He said suddenly. "I only need to feel them." He cupped her face in his talons. "Maybe it's crazy, but I want more than just a fling on the Normandy with you."

"You're right." She said, looking intently up at him. "It is crazy. You made me swear to not do anything crazy, remember?"

As much as she wanted to be with him, it scared the crap out of her. There was so much at steak. So much could go wrong.

"What about when we go back? How would it effect our lives? our careers? What about the Council and the Spectres?" She continued.

"We'll figure it out. I've always been an outcast. That will never change. The opinions of others about my personal life does not matter to me, and this has nothing to do with the Spectres. You're skills speak for themselves. Nothing else effected my judgment of my recommendation for you. What is important is if you share what I feel."

He began to feel nervous. What if I just bled my heart out to her, only to make a fool of myself? It's too late now...

Sonya searched his face. She never shared moments like the ones they had with anyone. She doubted she ever would. There was something different about him, and it wasn't just his species.

"What about the crew? Other turians?" She asked, remembering Saren's reaction. She absently rubbed her neck.

"There will always be xenophobic, anti-interspecies opinions, Sonya. I refuse to live my life in fear of what others will think of my actions." He left the bed and stood with his back to her. "I know it's sudden. We've known each other a short time in comparison to what is accepted, but..." He glanced at her over his shoulder. "I love you." He admitted, then paused for a few seconds, "I want you as my own, but I understand if that's not something you're comfortable with."

Sonya was in shock for a while. Long enough that Nihlus shifted his weight in growing discomfort.

She loved him, more than she ever loved anyone, but how do I explain what I'm thinking to him? Her heart knew no fear, even of the Reapers. It was her rational thought that was the problem.

"Nihlus," She left the bed and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm not ashamed of you. I'm proud to be with you."

He glanced at her over his shoulder.

"But our species... the Citadel, they're not ready to accept anything like this."

He turned to her, angry. "What better way to show them that not only can we work together, but we can live in peace together, even love each other?"

She backed away from his temper. She watched warily as he visibly calmed himself.

"If the Council takes me off the mission... I just wanted you to know that this..." He gestured to the bed, "meant more to me than perhaps you thought."

His arms hung by his side, exposed to her in so many ways. He lowered his head. The powerful turian looked defeated and vulnerable before her. She recovered her steps and wrapped her arms around him and lay her head on his chest. She felt his arms around her, his talons on her back. With a flick of his wrist her bare flesh would be in ribbons, but his touch was gentle and comforting.

"If you will stand beside me, I am willing to take the risk." He purred into her hair.

"Okay." She whispered back.

Nihlus was taken back. He didn't expected her to agree. "What?"

Sonya looked up into his peridot eyes. "I love you, Nihlus. Some part of me has since I met you." She paused to kiss him. She could feel his heart pounding even through the plates on his chest. "So if there's something I need to do, tell me, I'll do it, because it meant more... because you mean more to me too."

Nihlus pressed him mouth to hers. His chest ached with how he felt for her. "It is deeply personal, but not private. However, there's no ceremony or gathering of family and friends as in human culture. Turians have sent glands... it's not permanent. It's a daily ritual display of affection and... belonging. Like kissing only like renewing vows each time. It doesn't really translate." He paused. "It's mostly one sided in our situation. It comes down to trust and loyalty."

Sonya considered what he said. It was true she couldn't mark him in quite the same way. Any sort of ring or other jewelry was out of the question. And his mark would mostly only be noticed by other turians. In the end the only thing that would change would be hiding it.

"Well, I trust you." She said. She felt his chest swell with pride. "What about family? Your mother... children?" Sonya continued. She dreaded to ask the last.

"Mother and I have not spoken since she sent me to the military." He paused. He had not thought about a son or daughter of his own. He assumed he would never find a turian female that would mate with him to produce any offspring. "I don't know how we would care for a child, unless one of us retires. But if we should decide that we want a family...We could adopt." He suggested, shrugging, thinking of her time spent unwanted in the orphanage.

His answer surprised her, but it made her smile at his sensitivity.

"We should wait until after speaking with the Council. It will make things less complicated." He said.

"I agree."

"I love you, Sonya." He said, wanting to recapture the moment as well as hear the words on her lips again. The contentment and happiness that beat in his chest was like a warm blanket and hot drink in the cold he thought he was doomed to travel. He silently thanked the spirits and his ancestors for allowing him to find joy.

Sonya grinned up a him. She never felt the exhilaration she felt just then. Suddenly the looks on brides faces that she'd seen, the stupid happy grins and glow they all seemed to have, made since. She wondered if she was glowing as she lay her head against is chest and closed her eyes.

"I love you, Nihlus."

Nihlus closed his eyes and buried his muzzle in her hair. The two stood in the middle of his quarters in a nude embrace, lovers until death, surrounded by the blue glow of biotic flame.