Chapter 5: Roran's Dilemma
Arya awoke in the warmth of Eragon's arms. Her first reaction, much to her surprise, was contentment, which was quickly followed by surprise. She laid completely still, so as not to wake Eragon, and thought back to the previous night.
**
"I would gladly do more for you, you just have to ask," Eragon told her comfortingly. Arya gave him a slight, almost imperceptible nod and he left her alone.
Arya wiped one of the tears from her eye and quickly changed into her nightgown, hoping that she could fall asleep and forget her thoughts of Faolin. Just as Arya sat down on her bed her mirror flashed and Islanzadi appeared on it.
Damn, she thought. Arya was in no mood to talk to her mother, especially if she had already learned about what had happened at the celebration earlier that night. She prompted her mother by asking, "What is it, mother?"
"I heard a few interesting things about you today, not the least of which being that you kissed Eragon. Would you care to explain?"
Arya didn't feel like saying anything, but she decided that if she included her mother in this now then maybe she would avoid another fight later on. "There was no choice. We wouldn't have been able to get away from the Varden without injuring them, due to all the Faelnriv that they consumed, so we just went with it."
"I already knew that," Islanzadi said with a slight smile. "What I wanted to know is whether or not you enjoyed it, and whether or not it felt right to you."
Arya sighed, she had already answered that question once before, actually twice, so she just repeated, "I did, and…" she hesitated, unsure of the answer to the second part of Islanzadi's query. The kiss had been the single best feeling she had experienced since she had been with Faolin, but in a way it felt like she was forgetting him too easily. "It felt right…and wrong. I feel as if I'm forgetting Faolin too easily."
"And why is that a bad thing, my daughter? It is a blessing if you are able to move on from a fallen loved one with ease. You should not feel guilty or restrained by him, he would have wanted to you forget about him and move on."
"Perhaps you are correct," Arya admitted.
"In any event I would like to know why you had tears in your eyes when I contacted you. It saddens me to see you in distress."
"It was far worse a little while ago, I was crying because it felt so much like Faolin was kissing me, and then it seemed as if he was torn away from me again when I remembered it was Eragon." Arya started to cry again, thin streaks of tears running down her cheeks.
"Maybe they are not so different. Arya you need rest, try to push the sad thoughts from your mind and get to sleep, you will be happy you did in the morning, for the Varden begin marching tomorrow," Islanzadi counseled.
"Marching isn't a big deal; I can just fly with Eragon if I want. However, I will do as you suggest for I am tired. Goodbye mother." Before she cut off the spell Arya thought she saw a single tear fall from her mother's face, but she discarded the thought as a trick of her mind.
Arya laid down on her bed and tried to fall asleep, she tried to forget all of her problems and get a bit of rest, but was unable to. She lay there for over an hour trying to put herself to bed, but it wasn't to be. Eragon could help me, I know he could. She hesitated, But it's so late, I wouldn't want to disturb him. Her mind flashed back to Eragon's statement earlier in the evening, I will always be there for you.
She got up and, hoping that the other elves hadn't returned yet, quickly moved from her tent to Eragon's. When she entered she stood there looking at him, a strange mix of emotions flowing through her. Just the sight of Eragon lying on the bed brought comfort to Arya more than anything her mother could have said to her. He murmured something in the ancient language and a faint red light appeared before her.
"Arya?" He asked.
She deduced that he was confused about why she was in his tent so late at night, something that she herself wasn't so sure about either. In an attempt to explain herself she said, "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I might come and see you. That is," she added, "If you don't mind." In her mind she was begging Eragon not to let her down, and she held her breath until he replied, she truly needed a friend.
Gratitude and relief filled her as Eragon said warmly, "Of course I don't mind. You can come to me anytime, what is it that you need?"
"I don't know," she replied truthfully, taking another step towards him.
Arya watched him lean back, extinguish the light he had created, and murmur, "Do what you feel necessary, I will be here for you."
She hesitated briefly, unsure of herself, but then silently walked over to Eragon's bed. Arya climbed in beside the Rider and wrapped one of her arms around him while at the same time nuzzling her head into his chest as if he was a big teddy bear. She was pleased when he wrapped his own arm around her and held her close, creating a slight pressure between them and bringing greater comfort to her wandering thoughts.
Her final thought before falling into her waking dreams that night was; This feels right.
**
Arya cracked her eyes back open as she ended the memory, a single tear on her cheek. She was beginning to think her mother's claims about her feelings for Eragon might actually have some merit, but she wasn't willing to admit to herself that she actually loved him and had moved on from Faolin.
She turned her head slightly, rubbing her cheek against his chest, and looked up at his face. Arya froze as she saw him looking down at her with a slight smile on his face, waiting for her to notice that he was awake.
Their eyes remained locked for a long moment before Eragon moved his left arm, for his right was still wrapped around her from the previous night, and touched her on the cheek gently. "What has happened to the cold, emotionless warrior of the elves that I knew not so long ago?"
"She finally found a true friend." Arya's lips formed a slight smile and Eragon moved his hand back, returning the smile. Arya felt something stir deep within herself when she beheld his tender, caring smile. Not even with Faolin had she been so at ease and happy.
The vast consciousness of Saphira, hampered by the ale she had consumed the previous night, brushed against her thoughts. Arya felt Saphira's amusement at the situation they were in, and only a moment later the dragon said, Oh Arya, what would Islanzadi say about this?
Arya body shook slightly against Eragon's side as she laughed. I would never hear the end of it, and neither would you, Eragon.
Don't I know it, came his reply.
Arya decided that they should probably get up and join Nasuada for the start of their march, as she was sure that the Varden were most likely waiting on Eragon. She sat up next to Eragon and looked down at him expectantly. He gave a long sigh and got up.
Arya found his form to be enticing and she watched him with interest as he walked over to one of his bags and slipped on a pair of long pants and an elven tunic. He had only been wearing some shorts the previous night.
She stood up when he was dressed and shaved. He gave her an odd look, asking if she was going to go get ready or not. Arya didn't want the Varden to see her come out of Eragon's tent in a nightgown so she murmured a spell that Eragon had taught her, the one he had used to become invisible to avoid the Empire's soldiers on his flight from Helgrind.
Arya gave Eragon a quick hug, even though he couldn't see her, in thanks for the comfort that he had given her throughout the night, and then she slid the tent flap open ever so slightly and sneaked into her own tent. Once inside she removed the spell and gave one long sigh, for the magic had consumed much of her energy, something which she was severely lacking due to the small amounts of sleep she had been getting in the past few days.
It took her only a moment to clean up and don her leather clothes. She left her tent in a neat order for one of the elves to fold up and toss on the Varden's supply convoy. She left her tent and was pleased to see Eragon waiting outside for her. Apparently he was planning on walking to Nasuada with her, something that she was grateful for. The closer she was to him the more comfortable she was.
The two of them and their twelve guards walked together towards the head of the Varden. War drums could be heard from the rear of the Varden, calling all the men to march. Along the way they were joined by Saphira, who still looked a slight bit wobbly after the previous night. Arya almost laughed as Eragon muttered a quick spell that would mend Saphira's head and restore her normal condition.
The dragon mumbled a 'thank you' but other than that they walked in silence towards the front of the Varden. It seemed that nobody, including the humans, was really in the mood to talk. They had enjoyed the few days that they had spent at Feinster, and Arya doubted any of the men wanted to march back out to war once again.
Waiting for them in front of the army was Nasuada; she was dressed in battle gear. Her scars from the Trial of the Long Knives were fully healed and she was once again capable of aiding the Varden in combat. Nasuada greeted the new arrivals with a raised hand, to which Eragon responded, and then she shouted, "We march for Belatona!"
Eragon and Saphira guided Arya alongside the marching columns. She was hardly paying attention to her surroundings, her thoughts were occupied by a rush of confused feelings that she felt for Eragon. Nothing she could do or think would push them aside, so she was forced to face them.
Her thoughts occupied her for the better part of the day, until, just before the Varden was about to stop for the evening, a white horse appeared on the horizon. It took a moment for Arya to recognize the animal as Snowfire, but she was alarmed when she saw no companions and no rider upon the animal.
Arya snapped her head away from Snowfire as she felt the ground shake as Saphira jumped into the sky, Eragon upon her back. She yearned to chase them and be there with Eragon, but she also knew that he would call her if he needed anything and it might be a bit odd if she suddenly charged after him.
It took only a few moments for Saphira to land next to Snowfire, who didn't shy away or react with even a hint of surprise at their presence. On the contrary, as Nasuada and Arya observed, Snowfire seemed relieved to see Saphira and Eragon. Eragon dismounted quickly and examined the horse for only a brief moment before removing something from around his neck and jumping back on Saphira who flew back to the Varden.
Eragon hopped off Saphira as soon as she landed and walked over to Arya and Nasuada. Arya wondered what he had discovered and what he would do. A hint of guilt crept through her as she remembered that she and Eragon had been with Roran's company only two nights before. If Roran was somehow injured or dead…she did not know what she would do. He didn't mean an especially great deal to her, but with her newfound care for Eragon she also cared about his family. She knew that if Roran was dead she could potentially lose the Eragon that she had grown comfortable and close with.
The Varden seemed impatient behind them, so Nasuada ordered them to set up camp and they would stop there for the day. Eragon quickly reached them and tossed Nasuada a chain with a golden ring on it. The same ring that Eragon had given Roran on the day of the wedding to ensure his safety. In a voice thick with emotion he said, "There was a note on Snowfire. It said that Roran and his company had been captured and that Galbatorix wishes to trade them for me." Arya sighed with dismay. She knew that Eragon would never go along with Galbatorix's demands for fear of leaving her and the Varden…or would he?
Eragon called, "Blodhgarm!" The furry elf approached immediately and cocked an eyebrow at Eragon inquisitively. "Get me a few supplies please, enough for a few days."
"As you command, Shadeslayer." Blodhgarm bowed respectfully before rushing off to get Eragon's items.
"Eragon you do not intend to…" Nasuada began. Arya had yet to speak, she was still trying to digest the information and determine what it would mean for her, for Eragon, and for the Varden.
Eragon cut her off, already knowing what she was asking. "No, I do not. I am going to go rescue him."
"But," Arya finally said. "We cannot afford to lose you."
"And you won't, Arya. We left Roran a day and a half ago. By this time he could only be near to Belatona. If Saphira and I leave now we can either intercept his carriers, or I can infiltrate the city and rescue him before they get the chance to take him to Uru'baen. It is our only shot to save his life, and I intend to take it."
"What if it is a trap?" Nasuada demanded.
"Then I'll spring it."
"Eragon…" Arya began, unease growing within her. She was blocked from further speech as Blodhgarm reappeared and tossed Eragon the supplies he had asked for. Eragon made his way around Saphira, out of sight of the Varden, and began to store the supplies in the saddlebags.
Arya had to speak to Eragon, to at least talk to him before he left. She followed him around his dragon and rested her hand on his shoulder gently. "I'm coming with you."
"No Arya. The less people we take the better, Saphira will be able to cover a bit more distance if it is only me riding her."
"You promised that you would always be there for me if I needed it." Tears started to come to Arya's eyes. She doubted she would be able to stand Eragon leaving on such a venture without her. Even worse, though, was that if he was to get captured or killed on his mission she would forever regret not doing everything in her power to save him.
Eragon dropped the supplies and pulled her into a comforting hug. She savored the contact and almost wished that it could last forever. He patted her on the back, saying, "I know I did, and I meant it. I will always be there for you."
"It is now that I need you the most. If you leave me behind on this mission you will leave me to grief and misery without the strength or will to fight it. Right now you are what I live for Eragon, for that is the strength of my distress." By then Arya had tears running down her cheeks. She felt guilty for acting so self-centered, but there was nothing she could do about it. "For seventy years I have bottled up my emotions and problems, even with Faolin. Yet I have begun to confide in you, Eragon. You are the only person I trust, you cannon leave me now."
Eragon was silent for a long moment. However he continued to stroke her back soothingly and hold her tightly. She concluded that he must have been discussing her situation with Saphira, and she felt confident that the dragon would take her side in the matter.
He finally said, "Saphira seems to agree that you should come along. I can't say that I would be unhappy that you did, it's just that speed is of the essence." Eragon lifted her up slightly, startling her. "Ah you're light enough. Wipe the tears from your eyes, you're coming with us. Just don't try to stop me from saving Roran, because I intend to do so."
"I promise," she said in the Ancient Language. It was difficult for her to agree to his request simply because of how many factors were involved in the rescue, but she had no choice. She gulped, ceasing the flow of tears and regained her composure as quickly as possible. "Here," she offered. "I'll finish packing the supplies, you go tell Nasuada of the plan and you should probably leave a few orders with Blodhgarm pertaining to the new arrivals that should be here this evening or tomorrow."
Eragon took one last look at her, then nodded and released her from his embrace. He hurried around Saphira and Arya could hear him speaking to both Nasuada and Blodhgarm. In the meantime she busied herself with stuffing the saddlebags with the things that Blodhgarm had brought. As she did Saphira brushed against her mind. Arya granted her entrance and waited for the dragon to speak. Did you mean everything that you said to him? That you have never confided even in Faolin, and yet you are willing to share your problems with him? Or…are you just coming to make sure that he plays the game by your rules and doesn't endanger himself.
I meant every word of what I said. Why do you ask this?
I wanted to know. Your answer is interesting; I have heard what you have told Eragon about your past. Do remember that he and I are one. If at some point in time Eragon is away you could always come to me. Granted, it probably wouldn't be quite the same, but it would be better than nothing.
I shall remember that, Arya promised. She was touched by Saphira's offer, although she did agree that it would be rather odd to confide in a dragon, pretending that very dragon was an elf she cared deeply for.
Together she and Eragon mounted Saphira. They said their farewells to Nasuada and their guards, and Saphira swept her wings down. In two powerful flaps they were soaring above the Varden and headed north, towards where the Empire was holding Roran, Belatona.
--
I got a bit of criticism on IF for Eragon not showing enough emotion. I can see where people come from when they say this, but I have my reasons for making him as he is. Eragon isn't the simple farm boy he was in the first/second book anymore. He doesn't react with pure emotion to situations now and he has the skills and experiences to judge them properly and react appropriately.