I don't own these characters; Disney does.
5: Thar She Blows
Shore leave was way too short for the crew of the Global Justice, who had to pile aboard in the middle of the night after rumors got around that Betty Blackheart had pulled into port. Suddenly, there were all sorts of officials hunting for the Hound of Sea and her crew. Of course, they would not find her anywhere near there now.
"Do you always have to steal away at midnight like that?" Kim asked Vivian as the ship drifted out to sea with a sky full of stars watching them flee and warm, calm air accompanying them as they got away. Kim sat on the side of the ship with Vivian standing on deck right next to her. She tried to watch the land disappear, but it was too dark to make out anything beyond the lights dotting the colonial city they left behind.
"Only certain places, but definitely there once it gets around that Betty and her sea dogs are around. We hit many ships from the Empire, so they want her head on a platter," Vivian explained with a lighthearted shrug.
"More gambling with Fate," Kim muttered.
Vivian blinked in surprise, knowing one of Betty's favorite phrases was that she gambled with Fate. Then a gentle smile spread across her face. It did not seem like she was the only one thinking about adopting "the mermaid."
"Don't worry. Betty will tell you every time that she gambles with Fate, she wins. I'm sure Fate owes her big by now," Vivian tittered.
"How long before Fate wants to collect, though?" Kim wondered aloud.
"I'm hoping a good, long time," Vivian replied. She had plans for Betty for years to come, after all.
Before the conversation could get any deeper, Will shouted orders to Kim about the sails. The redhead scurried off, climbing up the ratlines (1) to check on them and the rigging. Vivian watched the younger woman go, believing Kim would fit in perfectly on the Global Justice, especially with the way she moved on the ropes. The navigator then walked away, knowing she had her own work to do.
"Sweetheart, are we looking for another place to port or another prize?" Vivian asked as she climbed the steps to the poop deck, where Betty stood a few feet behind the helmsman (2).
"I think another port would be best. The lads still have money to burn and I'm not done ravishing you yet," Betty remarked with a lewd smirk.
Vivian groaned, feigning disgust. "It's like you turn into a filthy old man as soon as we get to sea." She curled her lip. "Of course, the flip side is that when we get on land you act like a filthy young man."
"Vivi, I just need a port. Why the hell does it always have to come with a gaggle of smart remarks?" Betty inquired.
"One, because you started it, as you usually do. And two, because it's the price you pay for being with me. I guess that's a deal Fate won out on," Vivian replied with a happy smile.
The brunette captain frowned, but guessed that was true. Fate definitely got the better of her on this deal. Her consistent and intimate connection with Vivian might be why she beat Fate in everything else. Fate definitely had her in a strangle hold in the relationship area.
"So, will you be charting a course for safer waters or will you just being standing here, aggravating the hell out of me the whole night?" Betty asked with an arched eyebrow.
"I don't see why it has to be a choice, my dear," Vivian replied, honestly puzzled and putting a finger to her chin in thought. "I can do both at the same time with little problem actually."
Betty frowned again, knowing from way too much experience how true that was. Deciding this was a lost battle, as most were when it came to Vivian, Betty turned her attention to giving out orders to hasten their departure. Vivian chuckled, but went to work on charting a course for a more friendly port. It was easy enough for her to do, especially since it was her only focus.
After a few days of sailing, the Global Justice pulled into less hostile waters. Of course, the scenery was not as rich and lovely as the main city of the Middleton colony, but they were not likely to be arrested just from walking the street. Betty and Vivian doubted the crew even cared about the scenery at that point. They just needed some place to take their hard-earned shares from them.
"What's this place?" Kim asked, studying the town they approached. It looked like it was being held together by spit and bird droppings. It smelled that way, too, actually rivaling the scent of the ocean… and she was still on the ocean!
"A little known island hangout called Lair," Vivian answered, stepping up next to the redhead.
"Lair?" Kim echoed in a puzzled tone with a matching look in her eyes. She had never heard of the place. It sounded like a weird name for an island, too.
"A tiny island for outlaws and rogues to gather and piss each other off rather than endanger innocents," Betty explained, walking over in order to take in the view. She sighed, wishing they could have stayed in Middleton. She would have been able to spoil Vivian in the colonies. Not so much in this pigsty.
"It might be a good idea for you to stick close to us since this is your first time here. It's usually a little crazy," Vivian told the younger woman.
"A little crazy?" Betty echoed in a skeptical tone and let out a snort. "That's like saying the Imperial Navy is a little regimental. Kid, stick close or you might find that little restraint you have in not killing people tested about five minutes into this trip."
Kim nodded, as if she agreed, but silently she admitted to being intrigued. She had never heard of such a place and would like to see if it was as bad as the captain made it sound. She needed to see it with her own eyes… and maybe even on her own. She did not need a babysitter. She was Kim Possible, after all.
"All right, lads, go blow your prize as you planned on before!" Betty announced to the crew, who cheered that order. An onyx eye rolled.
The sailors disembarked like hyper monkeys. It was even worse than when they docked at Middleton, Kim noted. Vivian laughed while Betty had the decency to look embarrassed by the pirates' lack of self-control. But, then again, Betty appeared a bit eager to get off of the vessel too, inching away from Vivian and hoping she did not draw attention to herself. A hand on her jerkin told her she was not successful in making a smooth getaway.
"No, no, love. You're not going to get into any drinking contests just yet. You have to escort two ladies to their hotel, after all," Vivian scolded the captain.
"What? You can make it to the hotel just fine. No one's going to mess with you," Betty replied. No one would dare touch her Vivi.
"Didn't you just finish telling Kim to stick close to you?" Vivian pointed out.
Betty turned her attention to the younger woman. "Want to come watch me drink a few pigheaded pirates under the table?" she proposed.
"Uh…" Kim hesitated because that did not sound like something she would like to see, but did involve her taking in the local color.
"No! She wants you to escort us to the hotel and not get pissy drunk if you know what's good for you," Vivian stated with something of a growl.
"Could you be anymore of a nagging wife?" Betty inquired, shoulders slumping in defeat.
"Oh, you haven't seen nagging yet and I don't think you want to," Vivian snapped with a fire in her eyes that warned things could certainly get worse.
Betty scratched the top of her head and sighed. "Ah, you got me there." She damn sure did not want to see the blonde truly annoyed and bitchy. So, apparently, she was escorting the two ladies to their rooms and possibly not drinking at all that day. Hopefully, Vivian would make it up to her, she silently prayed.
Vivian smirked, the expression bordering on evil. "I knew you'd see it my way, love."
Kim did not say anything, just watching the pair. There was something off about their relationship, the redhead thought. She just could not figure out what it was yet. She just knew it could not be what it seemed like it was because that was pretty much impossible. Things like that did not happen, as far as she knew anyway.
The adventurous redhead was silent as she disembarked from the ship with the older women. As soon as she stepped on the creaky, rotting pier, Kim got an understanding of the type of place they were in. In the shadows of other ships, she could make out figures beating the crap out of someone. She resisted the urge to go run and help as Betty and Vivian walked right by the scene as if it was the norm. By the time they got to the end of the dock, Kim assumed that a fight was quite normal since she saw three more and no one batted an eye at them.
"Hey, girl," a grimy man said, reaching out for Kim. His grimy hand was halted when Betty grabbed his wrist.
"Not a good idea, unless you don't like having all your teeth," Betty stated in a hard tone, glaring at the man.
He bristled when he met her gaze. "Betty Blackheart…?"
"Well, your eyes obviously work. I don't know if I'll be able to say the same about your hand in a few seconds." Betty growled and shoved him back with some power, causing him to fall off balance. "Keep your hands off my crew, filthy cur."
"You have such a way with words, sweetheart," Vivian remarked.
"Not now, Vivi," the captain huffed, waving Vivian off.
The blonde giggled, but did not say anything further. She held onto Betty's arm. Betty glanced down at her hand, but did not object.
The trio continued on their walk and Kim got to see that the town was a dirty up close as it looked like from a distance. The putrid scent of the place was almost vomit-inducing. She had never seen so much garbage in one place or so many people ignore the trash's existence. Everyone around seemed more interested in gambling, fighting, drinking, and smoking than taking note of the junk in the town.
Olive eyes soaked up the gritty, rundown landscape while Kim's feet made sure to keep up with her two guides. There was not a brick or stone building in sight, just wooden hovels that looked like they might fall over in a heavy wind. The streets were narrow and mostly dirty with rats moving about just as openly as the people. It was not until they passed by a narrow alley that Kim halted in her tracks, noticing movement in the shadows. It looked like three people, but it did not compute to her brain at first.
"Hey, are they—" Kim started to ask.
"Come along, dear!" Vivian swiftly yanked the younger woman away from the alley.
"Hey, were they…?" Kim asked.
"Probably," Betty answered, even though she had not bothered to stop to see what they were doing in the alley. Whatever Kim saw that shocked her enough to stop was more than likely going on because that was just how the port town was.
"But, there were three of them! And right in the street!" Kim gasped. "What if that woman needed help?"
"Trust me, she didn't," Betty replied.
"But—" the redhead tried to protest again, but the Captain cut her off.
"Look, Mermaid, first off, damn near everything you see or hear or possibly even smell in this town is a crime. No one needs help, but everyone is trouble. You don't stop to help because you're always helping a bad guy. You always assume the worst when you're here, okay?" Betty stated soundly.
"Assume the worst?" Kim echoed with a wrinkle in the middle of her forehead, right between her eyebrows. She was not sure she could do that.
"For instance, back there. Now, an easy assumption would to think that woman was a prostitute and those two guys paid for her. Taking it a little further would be to assume, one of those parties is going to rob the others after their business transaction is complete. The worst is to figure two out of those three are going to be killed by the other by the end of things and you don't want any part of that, especially since you don't know who is going to do what or who has done what," Betty explained.
"Killed?" Kim was well aware that she was starting to resemble a parrot. She just hoped no one suggested giving her a cracker, as she would not be responsible for her actions afterward.
"Yeah, killed, and if you want to jump into something that's none of your business, it's very likely you'll be killed, too. I don't care how well you fight in hand-to-hand combat, Mermaid. All someone needs to do is get a lucky shot at you and it's lights out. I don't think you want to give your life for some criminal who might have slaughtered dozens, too, so just mind your own business for now," Betty stated, not sounding harsh or scolding, but serious enough for the redhead to take stock in what she said.
Kim nodded to show she understood, even though she really did not. She decided to take heed in Betty's words, though. The captain knew much more about this place and Vivian had not contradicted anything that was said either. So, she figured it would be best to see what the place was all about before she started leaping in to help anyone.
The walk to the hotel took too long in Kim's opinion, mostly because the stench of the whole town was unbearable. Plus, she was sure they had witnessed every crime possible on the way there, including — but, she could not be sure since it was a good distance away — a murder. Betty and Vivian kept going like everything was fine, so Kim mimicked their attitudes.
"The price they want for a decent hotel room is robbery!" Vivian complained with a huff as she kicked the door open to their room for the next few days.
"Uh… Vivi, the Lair," Betty pointed out. She would not be surprised if they literally wanted her arm and leg to stay in a room that did not smell like piss and throw up, and did not have blood in it.
"Okay, well, I prefer my robbery to involve guns and be a little more obvious!" Vivian continued on.
"Would you like me to rob them on our way out?" Betty proposed with a small smile, showing she would do it.
"If the sheets aren't clean, yes," the blonde answered quite seriously as she turned her attention to the bed. She began a thorough examination of the covers on the adequate mattress. It did not compare to the marvelous down mattress they had left in the Middleton colony.
"Don't just loiter in the hallway, Mermaid. Come on in," Betty called to the redhead, who peered into the room from the outside.
Kim took a step into the room and looked around. "Are we really going to stay in here?" She could not help the frown that marred her face.
Apparently, she was being so closely babysat by the older women that Vivian insisted she share the room with them. This upset the captain, as she was sure that she would not get any action from Vivian while they had company. Vivian just wanted to make sure nothing happened to Kim during her first time in this horrible place.
"I know it's not as nice as the last hotel," Betty started.
"That's the understatement of the century!" Vivian chimed in, causing the captain to scoff and roll her eye. The room barely counted as a room in her opinion with its cracks in the wall and creaky floorboards.
"But, it's the best they have here on Lair," the brunette stated and then she turned her attention to the youngest among them. "You know, if we leave Vivian alone for about an hour, she'll make this place look almost like someone didn't die in here."
"Betty…" Vivian said in a warning growl.
"So, let's do that," Betty said, throwing her arm around Kim and marching out of the room as quickly as possible. She slammed the door behind them.
"BETTY!" Vivian hollered so loudly it would not have been a surprise if the whole place shook. The captain wisely kept it moving as fast as she could through the rundown inn. She was quietly impressed that Kim kept up with her.
"Uh… is it safe to leave Vivian there by herself?" Kim asked, still allowing herself to be led by the brunette.
"Perfectly fine. Everyone knows Vivi's part of my crew and very dear to me. If someone even thought about hurting her, I'd know about it seconds later and I'd be killing that person minutes later," Betty explained quite calmly. "Besides, I could see it in your eyes that you're itching to find out what this place is really about. Vivi doesn't like the place much, so I'll show you around and we won't have to listen to her awful whining the whole time."
Kim nodded, figuring that made some sense. They marched outside the hotel into the awful smelling streets. Kim coughed and covered her nose. Betty chuckled.
"The stench takes some getting used to, but once you get some rum, brandy, or ale in your system, you probably won't care about the smell," Betty remarked with an amused smile and laugh.
"I don't drink," Kim replied.
"Then you can watch me drink and I'll show you how it's done," Betty declared with another laugh.
The redhead did not argue and allowed herself to be led around by the older woman. Olive eyes soaked up all of the deviant behavior going on right in the open and in broad daylight. She had never seen such spectacles and did not know how to react, so she did not react. Betty thought the non-reaction was best. To her, it showed Kim would fit in much better than the redhead thought.
"This is my favorite tavern," Betty explained as she yanked the younger woman into a dive that was on one of the island's main avenues. Because of its location, there was almost as much going on outside the spot as there was inside. Almost.
Before they even got all the way in, both women had to duck a flying barrel. They turned to watch it crash against the wall right by the door, cracking the plaster, before turning into the direction it came from.
A growl tore out of Betty's throat. "Who the hell threw that?" she demanded harshly. Movement in the busy bar stilled and all eyes turned to her. They easily made out who she was despite the smoke from pipes and cigarettes.
"Betty…" Her name was trembled from several mouths and was laced with fear.
"Yeah, now who the hell threw that? Almost took my goddamned head off along with my newest crew member!" Betty declared, making a show of putting an arm around Kim. It was a message to let everyone know that if they messed with Kim, there would be hell to pay. Eyes went from the furious Betty to the quiet Kim.
"Damn, Betty, you always get the good looking crew members!"
"Yeah, you better not mess with her. I won't even need to beat your asses for it. She'll handle that all her own!" Betty proclaimed.
Kim was willing to bet that was a challenge from her captain. She would just have to wait to see if anyone would accept it. The wait was not long.
Betty easily dismissed the barrel almost knocking them out after she found out who did it. She forced the man to buy her a drink and forgave him as soon as it was in front of her. She dragged Kim over to a spot against the wall and conversed with other rogues of the sea, drinking and laughing with them. Kim observed everything, even though Betty tried to get her into the conversation a number of times by talking about the latest prize the Global Justice took. She only paused to get up to chat with a few barmaids she seemed close to, which distracted her from other things around them.
"Hey there, pretty girl," a man said, speaking into Kim's ear. He reeked of tobacco and rum. She could feel his presence close behind her, too close for comfort, but she did not turn around. "Why don't you ditch the one-eyed freak and come sail with a real man?"
"You've got a lot of nerves making that offer when my captain is only twenty feet away," Kim commented, nodding toward Betty. The barmaids captivated by Betty laughed at something she said, which only made her more animated in her story.
He scoffed. "That big bitch doesn't scare me. You know that's why they call her the Hound of the Sea, right? Because she's just a bitch!" He laughed as if he thought that was hilarious.
Kim glanced over her shoulder, just to take in the sight of the man trying to entice her. He was a large fellow with a ragged mustache and beard. His eyes were beady and leering at her in a most foul manner. She recalled Betty said everyone was a criminal in the town and she should assume the worst. From the look in her eyes, she felt like Betty was right about assuming the worst.
"Look. I'm fine where I am," Kim informed him, waving him off to dismiss him.
"I don't think you are," he growled, leaning down and grabbing her arm.
"I think I am," she declared. "And it would be wise of you to release my arm."
He squeezed her arm, trying to hurt her. "Not only does that bitch find the prettiest wenches, but the ones that need to be broken, too. Don't worry, little girl. I'll break you just fine." He had the nerve to chuckle, showing off a few rotting teeth.
The glint in his eyes as he pulled her to his body triggered memories in her that she would have preferred to forget. Her body acted without her brain, but she was glad for her reflexes. Her foot whipped across his face as she spun out of his grip. His head snapped to the side as a loud crack echoed over the din of the bar. Pure fire burned in his eyes as a crimson river of blood poured down his nose and out of his lip.
"You've done it now, Mermaid!" Betty cackled.
"It's his own fault. He should learn to take 'no' for an answer," Kim replied.
"I think you're going to have to beat that lesson into him," Betty commented as the ape-like man came in for a rematch.
The redhead turned her attention back to him and quickly showed him why Betty had no problem with letting her fight this battle on her own. He had no idea what hit him, as her fists struck like lightning and left him stunned quite a few times. He had to take a knee a couple of times, but kept coming.
Betty did not even bother stepping in when a few other men joined the battle, fighting against Kim. In fact, she had another drink as she watched half a dozen men get their asses handed to them by someone who probably did not weigh a hundred pounds.
"You're not going to help?" one of the barmaids asked.
Betty shook her head. "She's fine." She ducked as a slender body flew by her shoulder. She glanced back as he hit the bar. "Damn! Be careful, Mermaid! That was almost the booze!"
Kim did not seem to hear her captain, did not seem to care about anything beyond the fight. She took on more and more men, as if she did this every afternoon. It was not until half the bar got involved that Betty made a move. It would seem the men in general did not like seeing a fellow man getting his ass kicked by a small, redheaded girl. They were not happy when Betty joined in either. Eventually, Kim and Betty fought the whole bar and some guys who had just been passersby outside.
-8-8-8-8-
Loud laughter caused Vivian to turn her attention to the door. She had a feeling the noise was her beloved and their little adoptee. She was proven right when the two fighters burst into the room, leaning on each other and hooting as if they had been told the greatest joke in the world. Vivian smiled for a moment, happy they were getting long, and then she noticed their appearances.
"Fighting already, Betty? And you got the mermaid into the act!" Vivian huffed, rushing over to the petite redhead. "Kim, this brute didn't get you hurt, did she?" She inspected Kim carefully, needing to make sure she was all right. Kim was a little dirty and there were some cuts, but nothing to be too worried over.
Betty scoffed and rolled her eye. "It's not my fault! The kid is the one taking on entire bars while I'm just trying to have a drink." She was smiling up a storm, letting Vivian know she was not as innocent as she claimed.
"Kim, just because you're hanging out with this brute doesn't mean you have to mimic her actions. You don't want to lose all touches of femininity like her, do you?" Vivian asked, obviously teasing, but also very concerned.
Betty blew a light raspberry and waved Vivian off. "Oh, yeah, just blame me for the whole when it was this little imp starting everything." She rubbed the top of Kim's head and grinned down at her. Raw pride shone in her obsidian eye.
"Well, let me get you two cleaned up. No more finding trouble today, though." Vivian wagged her index finger at them. She had a feeling this was going to be her first of many times using those words. Oddly enough, she did not mind. She just hoped Kim and Betty found they had other things in common. After all, she did not want to spend all of her time on land taking care of their wounds. She wanted to have some fun, too.
Betty and Kim smiled since they were not in trouble, but they knew if what happened became a habit, they would end up in trouble every now and then. They would definitely get scolded, especially Betty. That was what happened, too.
Kim quickly learned she liked sticking close to Betty when they were on land and Betty liked going to places where a cute redhead was bound to be harassed, even if she was a part of Betty Blackheart's crew. Action almost always followed. They enjoyed it, even when Vivian chewed them out over it.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: Kim learns a harsh pirate law and has to cope.
1: Ratlines — a series of small ropes fastened across a ship's shrouds like a ladder used to climb the rigging.
2: Helmsman — the guy in charge of the helm, which is used to steer the ship.