Disclaimer – Please see chapter 1
A/N – Thank you all very much for the continued reviews & story support, it really is appreciated. Please keep them coming. Lots of GSR fluff in this one, before all the angst coming up in the following chapters. Story is beta'd by myself so any remaining mistakes are all mine, so I apologize in advance. R & R Enjoy!
This Chapter & Story is dedicated to the memory of my 25 year old nephew who was killed in a car crash early today.
Fall Out Boy – Chapter 38 Trust and Honest sincerity
Jim and Gil chatted away quietly while the other two house guests slept on for the next couple of hours, they talked about the case, Kye and his constant distressing struggle with nightmares of the night his mother was killed, seeing the councilor, then the run in with Hank Pettigrew.
Gil told his friend, quite unusually so, about his deep concerns for Sara's attachment to the boy, her fragile state of emotions where the child was concerned, his worry at Pettigrew's possible future role in all of this, if he were to demand to lay claim to Kye as his rightful biological father, and the devastation it would most likely have upon her.
Himself too, if he had to be completely honest with himself, he'd grown very emotionally attached to Kye without even knowing it was happening, as he guided the small boy through his nightly torment, but he still refused to admit this to anyone, his own growing feelings for both Sara and Kye, he felt should take a back seat to dealing with whatever needed addressing at present, and that was to keeping them both safe, healthy and rested in a calm environment.
"Is that coffee fresh?" came a soft female voice from the entry to the kitchen.
"Hey sleepyhead" Jim said in warm greeting to Sara as he rose from his seat to let her sit down, he also took mental note of her wearing one of Gil's shirts with a pair of comfy looking joggers.
"Pain meds, they knock me out" was all the explanation she gave as she locked gazes with Gil in question.
Gil was now stood a little mesmerized by her appearance in his shirt, he wondered quickly if she had put her bra back on, worried Brass may get an eyeful of her wonderful breasts as he noted several buttons still open wide at her chest.
Feeling a slight twitch in his groin at remembering his hands massaging and caressing those very same fleshy mounds not a short time before, he was ripped from his rather erotic thoughts by a clearing of a throat by Jim, then a loudly spoken "Gil? Coffee".
Giving himself a mental shake at zoning out, he gave her an embarrassed and slightly shy smile as he moved over to the pot "Coffee" he said "Yes. Coming right up dear" he internally winced at his own words, when he heard Jim chuckled, knowing he'd been caught out momentarily day dreaming.
"Kye still sleeping?" Gil asked over his shoulder, trying to cover his faux pas.
"Yeah, thankfully" Sara replied taking Jim's seat "It's the longest he's slept for without one of his episodes" she said absently, recalling her sadness every time either one of them had to deal with the distraught child.
Brass noted the sadness in her tone and words, so did his best to try to reassure her "Your doing a great job with him Sara. Both of you are. He's in a good place to be, right here with you both, and I'm sure he's getting the best help he can from you".
Not sure of what else to say, Jim decided it was time for him to leave, taking a quick glance at his watch Brass added "Well I guess I better get going and catch some bad guys, there's only a couple of hours left of shift" he said smiling as Gil handed Sara a teaming cup of coffee, then he affectionately placed his hand on Sara's shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze "Take care" he said over his shoulder as he left.
As Sara sipped on her hot drink, Gil debated on how much to tell her of what Jim had just informed him off with the case.
Do I share all that Jim told me about the developments?
That 'Frost' is the prime suspect once again and running around loose in Vegas, doing god only knows what?
Will it only make her worry more with the new details?
Stress her out perhaps, when it could have been possibly prevented by me?
Create a tension in the air that Kye would most certainly pick up on.............Making his present personal security, questionable to him once more?
Would Sara be able to deal with her stress and emotions, if I were to tell her of my suspicions of being followed today in light of the latest news?
He let out a long low sigh as he continued on with his troubled thoughts oblivious to Sara sat along side him.
She'll be annoyed with me if I only share parts with her, then she later finds out there was more...................Even though my best intentions may seem to be the wrong thing in making a right decision now.
I made a promise to her.....That I can't, and wont break.
That I'd be there for her....Helping her.........Doing anything that she needed or required me to do.
For Kye too, in all of this..................Wherever this leads us.
Taking a sip of his drink, Gil came to a conclusion of what he must do.
Sara has to know she can trust me completely in everything.
Trust me to be absolutely honest and sincere with her throughout all we face together now.
Isn't that the most important basis for a any kind of future relationship?
Sara noticed Gil had zoned out on her and seemed to be having some kind of internal debate about something, as she watched his profile sat beside her at the counter.
She gently clasped his hand resting on his thigh, making him momentarily flinch in surprise "You okay?" she asked softly.
Gil nodded with a weak smile as he entwined his fingers with hers, then brought their joined hands up to kiss the back of hers, connecting his eyes with her now.
"Somethings bothering you.....I can see it Gil" she stated, reading him as perceptively as ever.
Leaning in, Gil placed a chaste kiss on her lips then pulled back smiling at her "I cant hide anything from you, can I?" he said chuckling, not expecting her to answer him.
Sara frowned, before answering him with her own concerned question "Would you want to?" she spoke a little insecurely, not really sure she wanted an answer or not now "Keep things from me?, that is" she added breaking the gaze and fidgeting with her cup.
Realizing his light hearted tease had been misinterpreted by her, he released her hand from his, placing his arm around her shoulder "Oh honey. Never" he spoke tenderly as he brought her closer to him so she could rest her head on his shoulder "I was just using a figure of speech, thats all".
Gil realized that his light hearted words had, had the wrong intended effect on her, making one of her many insecurities resurface again, one he himself, admittedly shared with her of finding it hard to trust people in his life.
"I didn't mean to imply to you, that I would ever want to hide things from you honey. Ever" he said nuzzling her temple, then adding a light kiss before talking again.
"'This' is all new to us both Sara" Gil hesitated briefly, then let out a soft sigh "I...........I haven't really had a...A relationship as such, much less a meaningful one........With a women in many years honey" he said fumbling through his words to her, trying to explain his incompetence at romantic relationships in his life experience so far.
He chuckled a little self deprecatingly at himself "I tried dating a couple of times over the years, but they never usually got past the first date" he sighed heavily "My chosen topics of dinner conversation usually put paid to that, I'm sure" he paused briefly, taking a moment to buck up the courage he needed to say what he wanted to say.
"But with you Sara......What I'm trying to say is.............It's different.....It feels totally different.......Your much more important to me than those women ever where" he spoke nervously, but carried on, at feeling a reassuring squeeze from her as she placed her arm around his torso.
"There's much more at stake here for me honey" he said quietly, then took a large swallow before he continued "I just don't want to mess it up, but you have to understand. I have no real experience in romantic relationships to call upon, in trying to make sure 'this between us, will work" he winced at his own words and hoped he wouldn't now scare her off "And I really do want it to" he said adding extra emphasis on the 'really'.
Sara's flat palm of her hand was now rubbing soothingly over his chest, as he courageously kept opening up to her and sharing his feelings with her "Sara, what I feel for you, I have never felt for any other woman, or person for that fact".
Guiding her gently off her chair, Gil pulled her onto his lap, settling her against his chest with her arms around him, so they could be in each others embraced even closer than before.
"I can't even begin to put into words to describe what I'm feeling for you, like so many of the great poets have done in the past " he said kissing her head again, before adding more determinedly now "But know this honey" he said gently lifting her chin so that their eyes connected "I've been such a fool in the past where your concerned, but not any more. You really are my number one priority in life now, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure things work out between us. Okay?".
"Me too" Sara agreed on a whisper, not wishing to break the happy, but momentous moment between them.
Astounded by the sincerity and emotion as he delivered his heartfelt feelings to her, Sara could clearly see the depth of love he held for her in his eyes, as she leaned into him instigating a long lingering kiss, one that soon evolved into a make out session, right in the middle of the kitchen.
Some time later gasping for air and grinning stupidly goofy at one another, Gil eventually recovering full mental brain function once more, he suggested they had better get some sleep pretty soon, before either Kye woke up again in the throes of another nightmare, or the boy would rise for the beginning of a new day.
Gil switched everything off and locked up, then led her to his bedroom without hesitation, surprising Sara, who only shyly smiled as he turned down the bed for her, before he went into the bathroom to carry out his usual bedtime hygiene routine.
When he came back, in just his boxer shorts and a T shirt all washed and prepared for bed, he took a moments pause to take in the wonderful sight of her settled in his bed awaiting him.
After giving her a tender smile, he slipped into bed beside her, then pulled her against him as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them to do, but in reality was their very first time of sharing a bed to sleep together.
Gil told Sara all that Jim had informed him of, not missing out a single detail, even sharing his concern of them being followed earlier in the day.
He reassured her that Brass was doing all that he could liaising with NYPD to apprehend Frost, and for them not to worry, he also shared his own indecisive thoughts from earlier which had lead to the little misunderstanding which they'd had.
Both lavished in the feel of one another up close and intimate, as they settled down and entered the next phase of their relationship, both slipping contentedly into a peaceful calming slumber, knowing that they would be there for each other, come what may.
A few hours later Gil awoke with Sara still in his arms, he was spooning her from behind, he thought at first it was her hair tickling his nose that had woken him, but then he heard the continued click and slight scrape of the dogs paws walking past the bedroom door on the hard floor surface, followed by the flush of the toilet and a door shutting quietly.
Knowing that Kye was now up, and the boy would firstly just go straight to the back door to let the dogs out to have a pee, then either sit out with them, or seat himself on the couch waiting for the two adults to rise.
Feeling his own full bladder now, Gil eased himself slowly away from Sara's back, placing a pillow behind her so she hopefully wouldn't miss his presence too much and sleep on.
He slipped into the bathroom to relieve himself, then proceeded to brush his teeth and freshen up, grabbing his robe from the door he took one last look at Sara sleeping soundly, then went in search of Kye to make them all some breakfast.
Padding into the kitchen barefoot, Gil prepared the coffee machine after glancing at the couch and seeing that Kye wasn't there, he presumed the boy must be out in the yard playing with the dogs, although with the door closed everything seemed very quiet.
Flicking the switch on the machine with a confused frown, Gil started to feel an odd foreboding feeling in the pit of his stomach, one he could not recall ever experiencing in recent years.
Then the pieces started to come together in his mind, it was more than just simple quiet, it was unusually so for his home in more recent days, he should have at the very leas, heard one of the dogs bark, if only in excitement of play with Kye.
Kye! Gil thought immediately, feeling a sudden panic rise within him.
Then the reason for Jim's visit last night, and the details he relayed slammed into his thoughts like a rail train crash, each piece of information hitting the next one to come in line.
"God, No" Gil said to himself almost in prayer, as he dropped the cup he was holding on the counter with a clank, then moved around to exit the kitchen for the yard.
"Kye!" Gil called out loudly as he flung open the rear door to the house.
Expecting at the very least for the two large boxer dogs to rush at him, Gil's anxiety levels went up a few notches as he scanned the yard frantically.
Seeing nothing he yelled out again "Kye!" followed by an even louder more fraught "Hank! Bruno!".
He stepping out into the yard, almost breaking out into a full run heading towards the side gate that was out of view of the rear windows of the house "Kye! Hank! Bruno!" he called out desperately.
Gil stopped in his tracks abruptly at what he now saw, his eyes wide, hearth thumping wildly in his chest, breathing rapidly......................
"Gil! What is it...........?" Sara's anguished voice asked from behind him, around the corner of the building.
A/N – Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, sorry for the cliffhanger and the obvious angst that is to come, but it is all part of the story yet to unfold. The ending of the chapter was extremely hard for me to finish today in light of a family tragedy, but as promised to you wonderful readers & reviewers I wanted to post it & Include my dedication to a wonderful young man.
Please take the time to review the chapter, or just leave me a comment for what you think of the story so far. Your reviews are very much loved and appreciated.