The water was coming closer, rushing up towards us.
Jack was gripping me tightly around my shoulders. His touch usually made me feel safe and secure, but not this time. Nothing could make me feel safe, when it seemed our deaths were fast approaching. For I saw no way of survival after we hit the water; it was so cold and deep.
"It's alright Scarlett!" called Jack, "When I say so, I want you to take a deep breath, okay? The deepest breath you can get, alright?"
"Okay!" I called back. I could see what Jack was getting at, but there was a small problem; I couldn't swim. Nor could I hold breath for any useful amount of time.
I remember having a contest with my friend, Frances, when we were small, of who could hold their breath the longest. I only lasted about ten seconds before giving up. Ten seconds didn't seem very long at all when about to be plunged into the sea.
And there was the fact that I had never swam ever before in my life. Father had forbidden any activities that were not considered "proper" for girls. Whilst Freddie was allowed to go bathing in the lake everyday during summer, I was stuck inside embroidering table cloths. Being able to do a fancy cross stitch wasn't going to be much use now.
The water was drawing nearer, nearer, nearer, and then...
WHOOOSH.
Icy cold water hit me like a thousand knives. The sheer force of it was enough to wind me, and I forgot all about taking a deep breath.
I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe. Water was surrounding me, everything was going dark. I had lost all power to push myself back to the surface. I thrashed about wildly, desperately, getting nowhere. And then, someone had taken hold of my wrist, and was pulling me upwards, upwards and out to the surface.
My head pushed through and out into the night air, the cool wind painful on my face, and taking deep breaths. I looked about for my rescuer, and found that it was Jack.
"Scarlett, are you okay?" he said, treading water with one arm, and still gripping my wrist with the other.
I nodded, still gasping for breath.
"I need you to swim, Scarlett, I need you to swim for me, can you do that?"
I shook my head, "I can't, I can't..." I croaked.
"Come on," said Jack "I've got you, you're alright. Now, swim with me."
Summoning any energy I had left, I began to paddle along next to Jack, each stroke ripping through my chest.
All around us, people were screaming, grabbing onto bits of wood, or each other hysterically. This was madness. It was like my worst nightmare, I kept wanting to wake up and find myself in my bed in my room with Ann, ready for another day of jobs, just a normal day.
But the icy cold water engulfing me was oh so real; there was nothing dream-like about the pain ripping through me with every breath. Jack's paddling was slowing down, I was worried for a moment that he was tiring, after all, I was relying heavily on him to pull me along. But it turned out we had reached where he wanted to bring us.
"Get on here," said Jack, gesturing to an old, wooden chiffarobe bobbing in the water. "Go on, it's alright, get up."
I looked at him, doubtfully; did Jack expect us to just float here on the off chance the lifeboats would return to us? But then, it seemed we didn't have much of a choice.
I heaved myself up onto the chiffarobe, my wet clothes dragging me down, a dead weight clinging to me. Jack helped me up first, before trying to pull himself up. The chiffarobe wobbled dangerously, the weight of two people pushing its limits. Jack lowered himself back into the water, but I wasn't about to let him stay in the water whilst I was here buoyant and safe on the chiffarobe!
"No way are you staying in the water, when I'm up here. Come on, I'll pull you up!" I reached down and took hold of Jack's hand, helping him up. With difficulty, Jack eventually pulled himself up and lay down next to me, breathing heavily.
"What do we do now?" I asked, teeth chattering with the intense cold that was rushing over me.
"Just wait and see what happens, I guess" stuttered Jack, teeth chattering equally as much as mine. He slipped his hand into mine. His touch normally brought warmth to my skin, but now his hand was like a block of ice.
It was noisy, some man kept blowing a whistle, and the screams of the dying seemed to go on forever. I don't know how long we lay there; holding hands and clinging on to what was left of each other's body heat. We lay in silence, preserving our energy from not talking, but I could feel Jack's breath on my neck. I looked up at the stars above in the night sky, as time seemed to stop completely. It seemed like there would be no end to this, I had lost all feeling throughout most of my body and felt like I couldn't go on.
"Jack?" I breathed "I'm so cold, I can't..."
"Don't," he said "Don't say that. You're going to be okay, I'm here."
"But..."
"Just hold on for a little while longer, come on, you can it."
"I can't, I..."
"Scarlett, I love you."
"You...what?"
"I mean it. I love you, and I don't want to lose you."
I couldn't believe it. Despite our circumstances, I could still appreciate the warmth in Jack's voice as he declared his love for me.
"I love you too." I whispered back, and I meant it. I tried to reach over to him, but found my clothes and hair frozen solid. Instead, I stroked his palm with my fingers, still enclosed in his fist.
We resumed our silent survival, images flashing through my mind. Horrible images at first; Ann slipping away, leaving Freddie, Cal walking away from me, choosing himself over everything, dying here in the water...
No. I wasn't going to die. Jack was with me, the man I loved, the man who said he loved me. Wonderful images of us together danced before me, pushing the horrific ones away. I stared up into the sky, picturing Jack's lovely smile.
It was much quieter now, the screaming had long since finished. I tried not to think about why. I felt like I was having an out of body experience, watching myself from above. Crazy thoughts were running through my head, and I wondered wildly whether I would know if I had died?
And then, a bright light was coming towards me, getting bigger and bigger out of the darkness. What was it? I could only make out a fuzzy outline, but it was a blinding glare in contrast to the black night.
"Is there anyone alive out there?" came a call, sounding extremely distant, but it was pulling me back to reality.
With difficulty, I sat up, my frozen clothes cracking as I did so. Jack stirred next to me; his eyes were closed but he was breathing.
The light was moving away now, and it was only then that I could see what it was. A lifeboat.
"Is there anyone alive out there?" someone shouted out again, sounding even more far away.
"Jack," I hissed "Jack! There's a boat, come on Jack." My voice came out as nothing more than a whisper. I shook his shoulder and he opened his eyes.
"Jack, look! There's a boat for us!"
Jack's bleary face broke into one of his smiles I had so fallen in love with.
"That's great" he croaked.
But, I noticed the boat had turned now, and seemed to be heading away...
"No!" I tried to call out, "Wait! Come back! Come back!" But my voice was lost over the sea.
"Jack, Jack, the boat is leaving!" But Jack had closed his eyes again, and seemed not to hear me, though he was gripping my arm. I was on my own.
"Help!" I tried shouting again "Come back!" But the boat was further away than ever. I felt hot tears sliding down my face, feeling sheer desperation.
And then I spotted it. Well, him really. A man so pale and solid looking it seemed as if he was carved from ice, was floating by, a whistle hooked around his neck. Without stopping to think about the fact I was touching a dead person, and trying seriously hard not to look at his blank, staring eyes, I grabbed the whistle and shoved it in my mouth.
The sound rang out through the night. I summoned any breath I had left in my lungs, blowing the whistle continually. I urged the lifeboat to hear, wishing for it to turn around.
"Come on, come on" I muttered to myself, still blowing. Jack seemed to have slumped against me, and I needed help to arrive soon. And then, the boat was turning around. Hope and relief flooded my body. I couldn't quite believe it.
After what seemed like an eternity, the boat was pulling up beside Jack and I, and strong arms were lifting us into the boat, and wrapping us in warm blankets. Jack seemed to regain himself, and came and sat with me, huddled together. And it was then that I finally started to believe it; we were going to be alright.