Chapter 40

Wrapped in a big, white bathrobe that he kept at his mother's house along with other things in case he stayed with her over night, Dave made his way to the living room a few minutes later, mentally bracing himself for his mother reading him the riot act. Although he still wasn't able to walk a straight line, he was now halfway sobered up, trying to get his brain to function again and help him come up with a proper explanation for his blackout. Just as he and Aaron sat down opposite to each other on the couch and an armchair, Gracia came in with an extra large mug of coffee and placed it on the table in front of her son.

"Drink!" She ordered firmly, then looking at Hotch: "There's also some coffee brewing for us. It should be ready in a minute." She glared at Dave, daring him to disobey her order, until he took a large sip, grimacing at the strong bitterness of the black liquid, before she went back into the kitchen again.

Staring into the coffee, Dave purposely avoided Hotch's gaze. He knew he had screwed up again, and he felt genuinely ashamed about it, especially since the whole office seemed to have taken notice of it. But he couldn't help it. His heart was broken, and he didn't know how much more it could take before it shattered into millions of pieces which could not be repaired anymore.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Hotch asked, breaking the silence after a few moments.

Dave shrugged: "For what? It doesn't change anything if I talk about it."

Hotch shook his head. He obviously wouldn't get somewhere with him with being nice and patient.

"Well, as Unit Chief it is my duty to know why someone on my team was drinking on the job. Not for the first time, if you remember." He stared at Dave, who still wasn't impressed and didn't even bother to raise his head and look at him.

"Fine, if you want to behave like a stubborn toddler, go ahead. But let me be very clear about one thing. I will not tolerate this again! Legendary profiler or not, Dave, next time I catch you getting drunk in the office, it's going to have consequences. I need my team to be intact an fully functioning, and I don't have the time nor do I want to play babysitter for one of my staff. What if we had been called away on a case? Is that the kind of impression and example you want to set for the local detectives?"

Expecting his friend to give him one of his famous, arrogant 'I don't give a shit' replies, he was puzzled when the older man simply sat there, looking defeated. "Oh my, whatever it is, it must be really bad," he thought, and was glad when Mrs. Rossi walked back into the den with the coffee for herself and him. Maybe she would get him to open up, or at least her presence would make him answer his questions.

Waiting for her to sit down next to her son, Hotch half expected her to start with her rant right away, but was surprised when she simply took Dave's hand and rubbed it soothingly. Dave was apparently just as surprised, because he looked up cautiously, almost as if he expected her to trick him to face her and then blow her anger right onto him.

Instead he saw the same loving look that she'd had when she'd been consoling his seven-year-old self because the girl next door had laughed at him and run away when he'd told her that he liked her. "Oh, Davey," she sighed, brushing her hand over his cheek.

He wanted to lean into her embrace and let her hold him, just like he did as a child, but Hotch's presence kept him from doing it. As much as he liked and trusted Aaron, breaking down into his mother's arms in front of him was still nothing he wanted him to witness. Gathering his thoughts, he was about to start telling them the events of the afternoon, but Hotch beat him to it and spoke first. " Unit Chief aside, Dave, I'm also your friend. Let me help you."

Dave tried to give him a thankful smile, but wasn't sure if he succeeded. "She wants to date another man," he finally said softly. "She's going out with Anderson Friday night."

"That's it?" Hotch asked surprised, having expected something much more serious like JJ ending their friendship for good or taking the kids away from him. At least that was what Dave's mood suggested. He quickly understood, however, that for his friend this was just as serious as if she had ended things for good, knowing that Dave had always hoped for a relationship with their colleague.

He wanted to add some comforting words, but Dave, not liking that Aaron took things so lightly, burst out: "What do you mean, that's it? Isn't that enough? Or perhaps you're encouraging this, her? Did you help Prentiss and Garcia plotting against me and talking JJ into this shit?" He raged, and Hotch actually had to suppress a smirk at this rant. Sometimes he really wondered if the cool and collected profiler Dave usually was at work, and the hot-blooded Italian he seemed to be outside work were the same person.

"Davey, please! Mind your temper," Gracia interfered, laying appeasing hand on Dave's arm. "I don't think any of this is Mr. Hotchner's fault. He's just here to help you."

"I know," Dave sighed deeply and leaned back into the couch. "God, I just feel so lost. I don't know, I guess I didn't realize that this could happen. She'd been keeping me at an arm's length ever since Hannah's here, but I thought that she just needed time, you know. I should have seen it. I should have known when I kissed her and she pushed me away," he admitted softly. Speaking the words out loud seemed to make it even more real and final for him, and he could say that he'd never felt so broken-hearted before, not with any of his previous wives or girlfriends. He grabbed the coffee mug again and downed the rest of its content.

"I'm sorry for my behavior today, Aaron," he apologized to Hotch. "It won't happen again."

Both Dave's mother and his longtime friend looked at him sympathetically. It was obvious hot much Dave loved JJ, how much he wanted to be together with her, and seeing him so defeated was hard to watch, especially for Gracia. She, too, had dreamed of JJ officially becoming a part of the Rossi family, and she couldn't, nor wanted to believe that her son didn't have a chance with her anymore.

"Look, Davey. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems. She's just going out for dinner," she tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah right," Dave snorted. "And what's next? Before we know it she's moving in with this guy, and then I'm going to end up a weekend-dad just like Aaron was with Jack, and he's going to take my place as a father for Henry and Hannah."

"Davey, don't exaggerate!"

"Really, Dave, your flair for the dramatic is taking over again."

"What, you think that's not going to happen?"

"Not if you fight for her."

Dave's mother nodded eagerly at Hotch's words.

"I've been fighting for her for months! She knows exactly what I want and how I feel, and yet, she still feels the need to go out with someone else. What do you think does that tell me? I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm tired of fighting." Lowering his head again, he wished that he was just dreaming all of this, he hoped for someone to pinch him and wake him up. But all he heard was Aaron's voice trying to convince him not to give up.

"Do you remember what you told me once?" Hotch prompted. "That if there had been children in any of your marriages you would have tried harder to make it work? For Hannah's and Henry's sake, Dave, don't give up."