AN: Thanks to Choosing_sarah for betaing - her suggestions made this much, much better.

Chapter 5

When Tim left Tony's, it was still fairly early. He drove around for a while and tried to fit together everything he'd heard and everything he knew about Tony and Abby. They both had made good points, and if only one of them had wanted him, he'd definitely have said yes. It was just his luck to be in the awkward decision of having to decide which one of his friends to accept. He let out a long breath and pointed his car toward southeast D.C.

For the second time in two days, Tim found himself sitting on Gibbs' basement steps.

"Made a decision yet?" Gibbs said. He stood at the workbench fiddling with something. Tim didn't know what it was, and he couldn't bring himself to pay much attention to it.

"Maybe," Tim said. He sighed. "I talked to Abby and Tony today."

"Figure anything out?"

"Abby said everything I needed to hear," he said, thinking back. "She's changed, grown up. She's not the same person she was seven years ago, and she knows I'm not the same person either."

When Gibbs didn't say anything, he kept going. "I never think of Abby as being afraid of anything. She's the most open person I know. The rest of us, we close ourselves off from the things we fear." He thought back. "When you were in the coma, before you left, Abby slapped Ziva because she thought Ziva didn't care about you."

"Abby slapped Ziva?" Gibbs said, looking up. "How come nobody told me about this?"

Tim shrugged. "By the time you came back, I think we'd all forgotten. Ziva slapped her back right away. I was glad I was standing on the other side of the desk, because getting in between those two is not something I ever want to do. And by the time you were back, we knew Ziva cared. If you didn't think she cared, you wouldn't have come back to save her."

"I don't leave my people behind," Gibbs said, then hesitated, reconsidering. "I did at first, but I couldn't stay away. We'd been through too much together."

"It wasn't the same when you were gone. We all lost something when you left, Tony more than most. You know his issues, Boss. You up and leaving the way you did left a big, gaping hole in him that the director drove a truck through."

"Jeanne."

Tim nodded, glad that Gibbs got it. "Tony runs when he's afraid, and he couldn't do that. He knew he couldn't leave the team, not after you'd moved to Mexico. He said the op meant he couldn't run from all the terrifying parts of relationships when he was with Jeanne. He learned a lot from both experiences, and I think even he'd admit it made him a better person, but he's still afraid people are going to leave him."

Gibbs leaned against the workbench facing Tim. "Can't blame him. He's been abandoned too many times. Should have told him the truth about Israel long before I did. She didn't desert him. Me. Us. I left her, and I'd do it again rather than leave Tony behind. He can't handle being abandoned again."

"No, he can't." Tim sat up a bit and rolled his shoulders back, feeling some weight disappear from them. "That's what Abby's afraid of too, but she goes the complete opposite direction. I never realized how much fear of losing us out in the field drives her. She was there for me after my friend Jim died when the terrorists blew up Cassidy's team. She wouldn't let me think about the possibility that it should have been us that day."

"Could be us any damn day of the week. You know that." Gibbs dumped nails out of a jar and reached for the bottle of bourbon he kept on the workbench. He dumped out a second jar and motioned toward Tim, who shook his head.

"I know. Abs, though, she usually manages to not think about it until one of us gets hurt." Tim paused to gather his thoughts. "She takes that big heart and opens it up for everyone to share. For her, it's just that simple. She thinks if she loves and cares enough about all of us, it will keep us safe. If she refuses to accept the possibility that we might die, we won't." He stood and started pacing around the basement. "She can't do things halfway. Before that day you got blown up, she didn't really like Ziva. Didn't trust her. All she saw was somebody who let Kate get shot. Somehow, in the middle of all the slapping, she realized Ziva isn't like her. Abby expresses her emotions at full blast, puts all her energy into living for today. Ziva shuts down her emotions. Well, not anymore. But back then she did."

"Left that part of her in the desert," Gibbs said. "She had to, to survive."

Tim nodded. "And I think Abby realized in the Mexican desert that she can't just live for today. She said she realized that not getting serious with me because she was afraid it would hurt too much if something happened to me was wrong, because she would feel the pain just as much if we weren't together than if we were." He walked to the workbench and leaned against the other section, hands pressed into the scarred wood top. "Abby always used to be afraid of losing me, but she's realized that's a bad reason to avoid a relationship. Tony is afraid I'll walk away from him, either because I can't handle his issues or because I'll decide I regret picking him over Abby."

Gibbs drained the last of his glass. "You remember what I told you last night? Make the decision that's right for you. You can't live your life trying to meet other people's standards."

Tim snorted. "Boss, I spend every day trying to meet your standards. We all do. You'd kick our ass if we ever stopped."

"True."

When Gibbs didn't say anything else, Tim decided to ask for one last piece of advice. "Boss, what would you do if you thought the decision that was right for you was the wrong one for both of the other two?"

Gibbs quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

Tim held firm, not wanting to give Gibbs an idea of what he was thinking.

Finally, Gibbs said, "I think if the decision isn't the right one for both people in a relationship, it won't work." He paused. "If I'd figured that out 18 years ago, I wouldn't have three ex-wives."

Tim nodded. "That's kind of what I thought you'd say." He straightened up and turned to face Gibbs. "Do you want to know what I decided?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I told you last night, Tim, I trust you. From what you've said, you're thinking about all the right things in your choice, and you might understand Abby and Tony better than anybody else right now."

"Thanks, Boss. That means a lot to me." Tim turned to leave.

"Hey, Elflord."

Tim turned back.

"Good luck. If the one you pick doesn't appreciate who they're getting, they're going to answer to me."

Tim's smile lasted all the way home. As he settled in bed, he realized he had made the only decision he could make, and if he'd judged things right, it would work for all of them.

The next day, he woke feeling refreshed even though it was an hour earlier than he normally got up. He needed to catch one of his co-workers before the day started to share his decision.

He was out the door within a half-hour and picked up two drinks on the way to his co-worker's house.

He carefully shifted the tray to one hand and knocked on the apartment door.

"McGoo? What brings you here this early?" Tony cracked his neck and blinked his eyes a couple of times. "Oh. You made your decision." No doubt in his voice. Tim wondered if Gibbs' psychic powers actually had rubbed off on him. "Come on in."

Tim followed him inside, handed him a coffee and sat on the armchair as he sipped his own. "I did. I don't know if it's the right one, but when I sat down and thought things through, it seemed like the one that made the most sense." He chewed his lower lip, then decided fast was best. "Your offer? To wait while I decided to see if things would work with Abby? I'm going to take you up on it."

He saw the wince on Tony's face before the senior field agent managed to paste on a smile, and hurried to explain. "You had a really good point. I don't know if Abs and I can make things work a second time, but I also don't want you worrying that I'm going to decide I made the wrong choice by picking you." He sighed. "I don't know which one of you is the right choice."

Tony snorted. "Don't ask me. I think I'm a lousy choice for a long-term relationship, and you know my doubts about Abby's potential for long-term."

"I know." He sighed again. "You made some good points. One of your points is actually what decided it for me."

"Which one?"

"When you said you'd rather I picked Abby because you didn't want me to regret my choice in six months or a year." Tim rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "I don't think I would regret anything if I picked you. I know you, and I know what you're like. I also know that if anything does drive us apart, it would be us fighting about whether you're good enough for me. You are, and I'll sic Gibbs on anybody who tries to say differently. But if you don't believe it, there's not anything I can say that will make a difference. If Gibbs was able to find the right way to undo all the damage your dad did to your self-worth, he would have done it long before now." He dropped his head back on the top of the seat cushion. "I'll give Abby another chance. If you're right, I'll take you up on your offer to be best man. If I'm right, it'll be worth the six months or a year delay if it puts this thing to rest."

Tony just looked at him.

"Tony?"

"I take it back. What I said last night, about me being the Jedi master. I take it back. Because I would never have thought of this as a solution, and I thought last night that if you picked Abby I would just suck it up, but hearing you say you're picking Abby because you think I'm the right choice and you want me to see that somehow I am the right choice even as warped as I am should be absolutely wrong, and it's somehow completely right, and I don't even know how this works, but it's working for me." He sank down on the couch, and Tim could see all the tension ease out of his shoulders.

Tim couldn't help laughing. "Tony, this is your solution. You did think of it. And that is why this works. Because the sane, rational approach to the world has no place in our team, especially when we're talking about you and Abby." He sobered. "I'm glad you understand. I wanted to tell you first, make sure you were OK with my solution."

"I can live with that," Tony said. He walked over and sat on the arm of Tim's chair. "You do, of course, know that I will be tormenting you about your mistress of the dark." The words were Tony, but the tone was a bit overly bright.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Tim said. He reached up to put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "You're still the Jedi master, Tony. I'm pretty sure It's going to be Aunt Abby getting the kids all wound up with horror stories while we're on a night out rather than Uncle Tony feeding them sugar while they stay up late watching movies while Abby and I have a night out."

He stood and kept his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Just promise me that if it's getting to be too much for you while I'm seeing how things work with Abby that you let me know, or let Gibbs know."

"I will, Tim," Tony said. "Now, go, get to work. Give Abby a chance to do all her bouncing before I get in." He stood too quickly for Tim to take a step back and gave him a brief kiss. "I've been watching you with other women for years, I can handle a few more months." He paused. "Does Abby know?"

Tim shook his head, and stayed in that too-close space. "She knows somebody asked me out before she did and that's why I didn't say yes right away, but I didn't tell her who, or even that it was a guy."

"Thanks. I can handle Gibbs knowing, but Abby's just going to get all weird."

Tim nodded and stepped back. "I know. Want me to tell Gibbs you might be a bit late today? You could work on your cold case from here for a while, give her a chance to finish her initial bounciness."

Tony shook his head. "I'm good. Just make sure there's plenty of paper and rubber bands at my desk." An evil grin flashed across his face, and Tim knew he needed to keep Abby as calm as possible to keep the torment to a minimum.

When Tim got to the Navy Yard, Gibbs was the only one in the bullpen. Tim briefly filled him in as he was placing more paper and rubber bands on Tony's desk. Gibbs just nodded and reminded him the acetone was in the same drawer as his SIG if Tony resorted to Superglue the way he had after Jeanne found out the senior agent was undercover.

Tim headed down to the lab and hoped it didn't come to that. He liked all his skin on his body.

Abby was already in the lab, her music blaring. Tim snuck up behind her and slid his arms around her waist.

"Timmy!" She turned and smiled at him. "Does mean yes?"

He couldn't help smiling back. "You busy tomorrow night?"

She shook her head. "Not unless we catch a case," she said. Pausing, she tipped her head and looked at him, those big green eyes so like his own. "You decided not to go for things with the other person?"

He shook his head. "Want to sort things out with you first, Abs. I'm not sure we're going to work long-term, but I want to see."

The corners of her mouth drooped for a second, but then she smiled again and hugged him close. "Thanks, Tim." As she snuggled into his shoulder, he heard her whisper, "I hope I don't screw up this chance."

AN: A bunch of you know I didn't know who Tim was going to choose until fairly late in the story, and I will be the first to admit this is an odd ending. It felt like the one that was most true to the characters given the particular situation, and I hope even those who don't agree with Tim's decision can understand and respect his reasoning. And for the rest of you, feel free to start hurling rotten tomatoes. :) Seriously, though, this was a tough story to write because I like both pairings and I think both work, which meant this never had a clear-cut right/wrong answer for me. I just tried to tell their story as honestly as possible. I hope I succeeded.