Whirlwind
It's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love.
It's a place I can not go,
Anymore.
When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
When we collide
We break.
Dishwalla - Collide
McGee comes back to the bullpen, after leaving Sarah asleep in Abby's Lab. He sits down at his desk, and he's immediately bombarded by the well intentioned questions from his team-mates.
"How is Sarah?" asks DiNozzo.
"Is she hurt in any way?" asks Ziva, concerned.
McGee looks briefly at Gibbs, who is staring at him. I bet I surprised you today, Boss, thinks McGee.
"Traumatized, but not hurt," he looks at his team-mates, "apparently the shooter was from her Creative Writing class," he says, as he logs himself in.
"So," says Ziva, "she knew the shooter."
"Did she by any chance…" DiNozzo starts, but he falters when McGee looks at him, irritated, "you know, see someone being hurt? It must have been hell."
"No, but she heard it."
Gibbs studies his junior agent, and finally says, "McGee, you are dismissed. Go home, stay with your sister, you don't have to stay here today."
"Boss, please, let me work," McGee pleads, "Sarah is asleep in Abby's Lab, and right now here is the safest place I can think of for her."
"Where is Buchanan?" DiNozzo is surprised by the angry glare he receives from McGee, "hey Probie, it's just a question, no need to go all McGodzilla on me."
McGee turns to his computer, and starts typing a search, "she's with her brother, and probably will help the FBI with the cleanup."
"And why would she not return to NCIS? Was Matthew hurt in any way protecting your sister?" Ziva studies the simmering anger in McGee's face, and she's sure there is something else that neither him nor Gibbs are telling them.
McGee keeps typing on his computer, ignoring the question. Gibbs stares at him, and answers, "he wasn't hurt in the shooting, he was hurt afterwards." McGee looks up from his computer and stares at Gibbs, his anger giving him courage to endure the staring match with his boss.
Ziva and Tony look from Gibbs to McGee, back to Gibbs, trying to gauge what they are not telling them.
"He had no right to hit her, Boss," says McGee.
"You don't have all the facts, McGee," says Gibbs.
"Wait a second, Matthew hit Sarah?" asks Ziva.
McGee growls lowly and starts attacking his keyboard with fury, and Tony squints at him, thinking furiously.
"If Matthew hit Sarah," Tony has an eureka moment, "PROBIE HIT MATTHEW" he looks at McGee, "Man, I know you don't want the guy dating your sister, but that's not going to give you brownie points with your girl, hitting her little brother is…"
"SHUT UP TONY," shouts a very altered McGee, standing up. Gibbs stands up, and takes charge of the situation before it gets worse than it already is.
"ENOUGH," shouts Gibbs. "David, DiNozzo, back to your desks, when I get back I want the background check on our dead petty officer, McGee, my office, NOW."
Ziva and Tony run to their desks, and Gibbs leaves his desk and stands before McGee's, silently ordering him to follow him. Both men walk towards the elevator, and wait for the doors to open on their floor.
Gibbs' hand is itching to headslap McGee, but the bullpen is not the place for the kind of dressing-down he's planning. The doors of the elevators open, and the person inside freezes when she sees both men.
It's Buchanan.
NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS
After playing with the Lego set until the lingering anger finally abated from Matthew's face, Joy encouraged her little brother to lay down on the floor before the fireplace, on the skin of the dead bear, with his head on her lap, while she played with his hair. The silence is comfortable between the two siblings, as Matthew doesn't feel pressured to explain his actions to his sister, despite the fact that the events of today had definitely put a strain in her relationship with the eldest McGee. He glances at her face, and sees her staring at the fire with a frown, probably trying to figure out a way out of the fine mess that they made for themselves.
"We were so happy this morning." Joy turns troubled eyes down to her brother, who is looking at her face, with a voice full of sorrow.
"We woke up together, and we left for breakfast. She insisted that I should take her to her class, so she could show me off to her friends." Joy gives him a faint smile, as she can imagine Sarah doing it, but does not say a word. She's afraid he will stop talking if she interrupts him.
"She wanted to…" he looks at her and smiles, and Joy smiles back, "so we left her class to go to the third floor. I …" he frowns for a moment, "I almost didn't agree. We stayed there for some minutes, until the first shots were heard." He sits down, and stares at the fire.
"My very first thought was where I could find anything to use as a weapon, and the very next was where I could hide Sarah to keep her from harm." He shakes his head, desolated, "if I had left her run, if I had let her scream, I'm not sure if we would be here now."
Joy looks back at the fire, and a faint smile can be seen in her lips, "damn, dad is right."
"Why?"
"Neither innocence nor vigilance may be protection against the howling heart of evil," she quotes.
Matthew searches his brain, trying to find the source of the quotation, "Star Trek?"
"No," she smiles, "X-Files."
"Uhm."
"The Calusari episode, second season."
"Never been a TV series nut ball like you and Dad."
Joy snickers, "well, we had to have something else to talk about, besides Hope's crazy stunts."
They laugh softly, and then Joy continues, "what I mean is that, no matter what you have tried to do, you will never be sure if the outcome would be different, or if the number of the victims would be lessened. You have no way of knowing, but you did your best under the most stressful circumstances, and you succeeded, you kept them alive, which was your main priority. Regarding Sarah, she's very young and there's still much she has yet to learn, about choices and responsibility, and the burden such responsibility may be to those who carry it. She will come around it."
"She will," says Matt, doubtful.
"Sometime, she will."
Both siblings turn their eyes to the fire, and Matt says softly, "I told her I love her today."
Joy turns to her brother, "and do you?"
"Do you doubt me?"
"Did you say I love you in a crisis moment, in a quiet moment or right before/during/after sex?" she says smiling smartly at him, and he blushes brightly, which brings howling laughter from Joy. "Ah Matt," she says, and he hits her in the arm.
"But I was being sincere," he says sullenly, folding his arms and pouting like a baby.
"I'm not questioning your sincerity; I'm questioning your motives for saying that." He looks sullenly at her, "it is one thing to say it during hot steamy moments, but it is completely different saying it with no distractions, no pressure, nothing to take away the importance of it. Real love is not the crazy sweeping passion that takes you in a whirlwind of ups and downs, but it is a conscious choice that both of you have to make that, despite both your shortcomings and your idiosyncrasies, you are part of her and she is part of you, a silent promise you will still be there for each other no matter what happens. That's why the marriage vows say to have and to hold, for better and for worse."
She takes his left hand in hers, and studies the bandages on it, from Sarah's bites and also from him punching the tree earlier on, "you two had been granted with a second chance in life, a new beginning. You had been touched by God's hand and shown how His divine Providence is powerful to take care of the littlest details." Matthew is looking at his older sister's eyes who, despite having worked in civilian law enforcement for years, had seen more horrors than many of his Marine colleagues, "what you two will do with this new lease on life, it is up to you. You will have two choices ahead: if you will become stronger and tighter together, or if you will drift apart, the shadow of your relationship nothing more than that, a memory."
They hear the house door opening, and after some seconds a very dishevelled Hope entered the living room, "Hey, folks," she kicks her low court shoes off her tired feet, and drops tiredly on the sofa, covering her eyes with her pale arms, "please tell me the day is over."
Both siblings by the fire look as each other and smile, and Joy says, "sorry sis, not over yet."
Hope takes her arm away and turns so she may look at them, "Joy, Faith wants you at the Hoover building, I'm on babysitting duty until further orders."
"I don't need a babysitter," says Matthew.
"Sorry, little brother, FBI business," she leaves the sofa and takes Joy's hand and pulls her so she may stand, "until this matter is settled, and all statements are collected, all survivors will have a FBI shadow until we are sure there's no threat to National Security, and stuff. You know how it is." She gives her sister a kiss on the cheek, "go, there's much to do and so little time."
Joy smiles at her sister and leaves.
Once in the Hoover building, she was immediately taken to AD Whittaker. She nods solemnly at the AD, and looks at her sister who is frowning at a report on her hands.
"Assistant Director Whittaker, Agent Buchanan," she salutes, and he silently requests her to sit.
They inform her that, because of the high numbers of victims, their labs are overflowing with evidence, and their morgues had reached critical capacity. So they might need to use NCIS facilities.
"Don't get me wrong," says AD Whittaker, "we do have the professionals needed for the service, what we need is the necessary equipped facilities."
"So you want me to talk to Director Vance about lending a hand to sort out through the evidence."
"Our main concern would be the bodies," says Faith, looking up from her report, "we still have some yet to be identified, and we need the necessary facilities to do that ASAP."
"The director of the FBI has already contacted SecNav, and I'm sure he will also contact the director of NCIS to inform him of the situation, but we would appreciate if you emphasized the dire need we are in right now."
"Certainly AD Whittaker," Joy throws a glance at her sister, and stands up, "may I take my leave?"
"Dismissed," he says.
Both Buchanans leave the room, closing the door after themselves, and Joy sighs, desolated, at her sister, "how many are you sending over?"
They start walking down the corridor, towards Faith's office, "I don't know, everything else is on hold until we sort out this fine mess. The city morgue is normally beyond its capacity, they can't take the incoming bodies and keep the chain of evidence intact at the same time, and we just received presidential orders to give a detailed report on the shooting in forty eight hours. They don't want a repeat of the media circus we had" she looks around at the people walking and lowers her voice, approaching her sister, "they don't want the media circus we had with VAT, they want to show that we are working hard and fast to find answers."
Joy rolls her eyes, "It is all about saving face, not about the victims," she shakes her head desolated, "sometimes I hate the politics that come with the job."
"If you swim in the ocean, you have to learn how to deal with sharks," Faith opens a glass door, and both sisters enter the office.
NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS
The elevator in NCIS dinged, the doors opening on the bullpen floor. Joy looked up and froze when she saw Gibbs and McGee standing there. She looks at Gibbs, who has an unreadable expression on his face, staring at her, checking her status. She nods at him, and she can hear her heart cracking and the pieces falling slowly to the floor, at the look of barely restrained anger McGee throws towards her.
"Ah, hi…" the doors start closing again, and both her and McGee put out a hand to stop them from closing.
"How is Sarah?"
"She's fine, just fine." She nods, and walks between the two men, to go towards the Director's office, and hears his mumbled words, "as if you cared."
Joy freezes, and turns to him. For a moment she's torn between pain and anger, and she says, in a loud and clear voice, "I've always cared, McGee, but there are other things that needed my attention."
"Sure, like your marine little brother, with a penchant to hit…"
Slap.
Joy is horrified at what she has done and McGee is frozen on the spot, looking at her unbelieving that she dared to slap him.
"ENOUGH" roars Gibbs, and headslaps both of them hard. "MCGEE, MY OFFICE, NOW."
McGee turns his back to Joy, whose eyes have started to mist at his betrayed expression. He enters the elevator, not looking back. Gibbs looks at Joy, who closed her eyes and was faintly shaking. He approaches her, she turns deeply hurt eyes to him, and he says, "that would never have happened if you followed number 12."
Her pain turns to anger, and she growls to Gibbs, "Damnit, Gibbs, now is not the time for gloating. He's an investigator, tell him to investigate," she grabs a folder from her backpack, and thrusts it in Gibbs' hand. Gibbs looks down at it for a second, and he can feel his eyebrows rising to his hairline.
"What's this?"
"Facts, Gibbs, cold and hard facts," she turns and walks down the corridor, pausing briefly at Ziva's desk to open her backpack yet again, she grabs some folders in the FBI standard cover, and leaves her backpack for Ziva, "could you please leave it at my desk?" she then marches up the stairs, sending a furious glance towards Gibbs on her way up. Director Vance is at the top of the stairs, looking down at the scene in his bullpen. Gibbs sends a glare at the Director, who just stretches out his hand for the folders that Joy brought from the FBI, and walks into the MTAC, followed by his agent.
Gibbs looks at the folder in his hands, and goes back to the elevator, the doors open, McGee is sullenly waiting for him inside. He hits his hand on the buttons, and the door closes after him.
Reviews are food for the soul.
a/n: I bet you guys weren't expecting this. Oh, how I wish I was little fly on the wall of that elevator...