Harmattan
At the same time Buchanan went into MTAC with Director Vance, Gibbs closed the door after himself in the elevator. As soon as it started to move, he hit the emergency brakes, and glared at his junior agent. McGee still had a sullen expression on his face, and his left hand touched his cheek where Gibbs could see the faint imprint of Joy's fingers on the skin.
Both men keep staring at each other for a whole minute, Gibbs studying the non abating anger he could see and feel still simmering in McGee, and McGee watching Gibbs watch him with his famous glare.
Gibbs decides talking first, more headslaps later.
"What is going on here Tim?"
Tim stays sullenly quiet.
"Lose the attitude, and answer me."
More silence.
"I have turned a blind eye to you two breaking rule twelve, because you two always kept things professional at work, and I hadn't seen anything that might affect the job we do, but this I cannot abide."
"Boss, nobody hurts Sarah."
"He was trying to keep her safe."
"My whole life I've protected Sarah, Boss," McGee looks at Gibbs, trying to transmit the importance of his convictions to him, "nobody hurts Sarah, not on my watch."
"You can't protect her forever, McGee," says Gibbs sadly, "the events of today proved that."
"But I can try."
"You're not helping her with this attitude."
"Boss…" moans McGee.
"You've protected her from what?" McGee prowls in the elevator like a caged animal, and Gibbs squints his eyes, as a thought strikes him suddenly, "Protected her from who?"
He hits a nerve, as McGee freezes, and Gibbs goes for the kill, "Who have you protected Sarah from, that gave you this sick urge to keep everyone and everything at arm's length if they represented any danger to her?"
McGee turns to Gibbs, and stays silent. Gibbs could almost swear that he could hear his teeth grinding against each other.
"McGee," growls Gibbs, "don't make me give you another slap, and the next one won't be on the head." McGee looks, tortured, at Gibbs, and sighs in a defeated way.
"She is all the family I have left, Boss." He starts softly. "For years, it was just Sarah and I, since mom…" He stops and lowers his head, shaking his head to dispel whatever memories in his head.
Gibbs ransacks his brain, after the little info he has on McGee's family from his employee record, "your mom died before you joined my team," McGee nods.
"Where was Sarah then?"
"Full board preparatory school, until she was accepted at Waverly and moved into the residence hall. That's why I live close to her campus, so I can check on her whenever I can."
"But why this insane anxiety to protect her?" insists Gibbs, and he can clearly see McGee struggling to keep his mouth shut. He glares at McGee, and feels his hand itching to hit him again. Hard.
"I promised, Boss."
"Promised what?"
"I promised to protect Sarah, Boss."
"To whom?" McGee clams up again, and Gibbs can see the torment behind the green orbs, begging him to stop questioning him. But Gibbs can't back off now, he needs to find the truth, before his team, his honorary family, fractures under untold secrets and hurt feelings.
"To whom did you promise that you would protect Sarah, Tim."
"I promised mom," McGee says through clenched teeth, and closes his eyes to keep the tears of pain from rolling down his face, "before she…"
Gibbs looks at his junior agent, and sees his torment at revealing such private detail of his life, that he kept hidden for so long, to his Boss and mentor, "before she died, she made me promise her that I would keep her safe, no matter what."
"Where is your father in this picture?" asks Gibbs, and he's surprised with the bitterness in McGee's tone when he answers him.
"Probably taking care of his other family, which he started while he was still with mom," says McGee tensely, his hands in tight fists, "mom had to face the shame of meeting his lover and his bastard child, and to make things worse, she tried to lord over mom as if SHE was the only woman in Dad's life," McGee is shaking in rage, "somehow, she put into dad's head that mom wasn't capable of taking care of us properly, and when the divorce finally came, she insisted in a bitter custody battle for custody of us, which put mom under terrible strain."
McGee turns troubled eyes to Gibbs, who is astonished at the deep pain his younger agent has been hiding from him all these years, but still, he always made clear that his door was open, but he couldn't remember a single time that McGee took that offer to heart.
"I went to MIT shortly after the divorce, leaving mom alone with Sarah. Before mom died, she organized all the papers to ensure I would have custody of Sarah in case she …" McGee wipes his eyes, and he's surprised to find his hands wet, as he hadn't noticed he was crying, "in case she left us. But still, after she passed away, dad and his… his… parasite tried to take Sarah away from me."
"I spent most of my first year salary at NCIS paying lawyers to fight him in court."
Slap. The itch had been too much to ignore. McGee turns hurt eyes to Gibbs, who stares at his younger agent angrily.
"Why didn't you come to me?" Gibbs almost growls the words, as he remembers the shabby clothes and cheap shoes his younger agent wore during his first year in his team. He would have dwelt with this worthless father in less of a minute.
"I didn't know you then, Boss," McGee urges him to understand, "when I joined the team, I had just been granted custody of Sarah for a few months, and three years later she was already a freshman at Waverly."
Both men stare each other for a moment. The tension in the elevator is palpable, until Gibbs takes a step back, and stretches out his hand. McGee looks down, and sees a FBI folder in Gibbs' hand. He looks up confused at Gibbs.
"What's this?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
McGee lifts his hand to get the folder from Gibbs' hand, but he looks at Gibbs with confusion in his eyes when Gibbs doesn't let go.
"Are you ready to face the facts, no sentiments and anger, just facts, McGee?"
McGee gulps, and stares at the folder in their hands, in it the cold hard truth of what happened that morning. He feels torn between the so comfortable and righteous anger he had been holding on to the whole day, and the deep unsatisfied desire to know what the true facts were.
"Boss, I…"
"Whatever your decision is, be sure that regardless of what you think happened, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
Gibbs lets go of the folder, and disengages the brakes. The doors open, and he moves out of the elevator, "Come on, you have a lot of reading to do."
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