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Enjoy

xxxx

How deep in the valley must you go
To find what your footsteps already know
The way on is the way out
There are signs to follow
There is deep in the valley
And I'm bound to go

xxxx

"Aunt Brooke, how come we're at the baseball place?"

She bent forward to adjust his helmet and smiled, "Because I wanted to do something different with you. I know your dad and Uncle have already enrolled you in every basketball camp that is in existence but I figured it might be nice for you to try something new."

Jaime shrugged and lifted up his bat, losing balance slightly.

Brooke couldn't help but laugh at his attempt to line up at the base, holding the bat incorrectly and his feet spread too far.

"Alright Mr. Scott, baseball lesson number one, the bat is held the other way."

A look of enlightenment passed over his face as he turned it around, "That makes this a lot easier Aunt Brooke."

"And you gotta stand with your feet shoulder width apart." She came to a stand behind him, adjusting his stance, "Perfect." She smiled and took a step back, "Now all you got to do is swing at the ball."

She signaled to the tee ball already in place. Jaime gave her a quick nod, closed his eyes, and swung fully at the ball. He spun quickly and ended up in the dirt.

Brooke took quick steps towards him and helped him up, brushing the dust off his clothes. A look of disappointment and concession spread across his face.

"Okay, what is the most important thing when learning something new?"

He twisted his mouth not wanting to give a response.

"Come on…" she added. She was unwilling to let his silence be an answer.

"Never give up on the first try."

"That's right."

"But this is hard…"

She gave a quick shake of her head, "Everything is hard the first time you do it. But then you practice and you get better."

He nodded and she came to stand behind him again, "Okay, let's try this again. I'll help you. Ya know, back in the day I played a mean game of softball, until cheerleading camp was in the middle of softball season. But that's beside the point. Now come on big guy. We are gonna hit a home run today."

She held his hands in her own and took a few practice swings before moving up to the plate with him.

"Okay, keep your eye on the ball and just think of it hitting and going way out there," she pointed towards the end of the field.

"I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking Jim-Jam." She stood with him still and guided his hands as he took a swing at the tee-ball again.

This time it made contact and went nearly 15 feet out.

"Not bad for your first hit."

A smile spread across his face, "I wanna try again."

She nodded, "I got a whole bucket of balls just for that reason."

xxxx

It had taken some getting used to but after the second bucket of balls Brooke lifted herself up from her crossed legged position on the ground and walked towards Jaime.

"Alright buddy, I think we have had more than enough baseball for one day. What do you say to some ice cream?"

Jaime took a glance into the empty bucket, slightly disappointed, and nodded his head, "Alright Aunt Brooke."

She pulled him closer to herself as they walked back to return the gear they had rented. "So what do you think of baseball?"

"It's good. I had a lot of fun."

"So you think you might wanna be a big baseball player someday?"

He gave a shrug as they approached the counter, "I liked it but I like basketball better. That's what I'm gonna be."

She frowned slightly, "Jaime, your only six. You shouldn't already know what you want to be. You can be anything in the world."

He nodded, "I know I can be anything Aunt Brooke. I just know I wanna be a basketball player in the NBA. Didn't you always know what you wanted to be when you grew up?"

She placed their ice cream orders and walked towards a bench, holding Jaime's hand in her own, "I don't know. "

"Momma says she always loved to sing. And Uncle Lucas said he learned to read before he learned to walk. And Dad knew he wanted to play basketball since forever too. I can like other things Aunt Brooke but I'm always gonna be a basketball player."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before one of the high schoolers who worked at the ice cream stand brought over their ice creams. Finally Jaime turned towards Brooke, "I know you aren't making clothes anymore but I think that's what you are supposed to do. Momma loves your clothes and Daddy says she look the best in them too. Isn't that what you think you are supposed to do?"

"Maybe Jaime. But I haven't felt like making clothes in a long time."

"Have you tried? Momma hadn't sung in a long time either but she is still really good. And she still really likes to do it. Her and daddy are even talking about her making an album and going on a tour."

She was a little surprised at the conversation Jaime had revealed to her. She had always figured one day Haley would record another song but touring seemed like it was out of the question. The repercussions touring had on her relationship to Nathan had nearly guaranteed in Brooke's mind that Haley would never set foot on a tour bus again.

"Are you sure Jaime?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "They talked about it when SpongeBob was on. They only talk about serious things when SpongeBob is on because they think I'm not listening."

She couldn't help but smile at her godson's ability to know more than he should.

She squeezed Jaime's hand in her own. Maybe the joy sharing Haley sharing her gift with others outweighed the possible negatives of touring. Maybe she and Nathan had worked past all the fears that were associated with her passion for music.

"Aunt Brooke, I think you should still make clothes. My favorite clothes are the ones you made too. And they are starting to get small."

She smiled again and lifted him onto her lap, "Yeah bud. Maybe it is time I make something and see how it feels."

She had loved drawing once and maybe it was time to see if she was ready to love it again.

xxxx

It felt like pieces were falling in place. Like doors were opening and the fears she had thought to be reality slowing fading. She was finally moving forward in ways she had been hesitant before. She had done all she could and if it wasn't enough it wasn't her fault. For the first time, in a long time, it felt like her best should be enough and the constant feeling of inadequacy had subsided.

She sat nervously at the table waiting for Lucas to arrive home. It was time to take another step and though it scared she knew with Lucas at her side it would be easier.

A sketch pad was laid out in front of her. A few charcoal lines were strewn across the page. It was not her best work but it was a start. She had started sketching after dropping Jaime off at home. His encouragement and belief in her had been enough to overcome the fear holding a pencil had once brought on.

She wanted to give to the ones she loved and that meant taking care of herself as well. Of figuring out what her dreams were and believing the risk in following them was worth it. Because otherwise there was no purpose. She still loved designing, the thrill of an idea in her mind coming to life on paper. Just because she had lost her company did not mean she lost her talent as well. Victoria was wrong in saying she had nothing to give.

It was the understanding that her passion was separate from the past was what led her to sitting and waiting for Lucas now. Going to Clothes over Bro was important in separating her past dreams from her future ones. It was a big step but it was time to face her past fully and it seemed to culminate at the former location.

In therapy she had slowly begun to open up about Victoria. It seemed to ease her mind to know that people like Victoria were an anomaly. That they were so tortured themselves they could never provide for others. But that did not mean she would be like that. Through it all she had survived and she had flourished. She had been successful and she had shared her happiness with others. She was nothing like her mother and everything she had told her the night before she left Tree Hill had been crafted to inflict pain and nothing more.

Going to Clothes Over Bro. felt like it would be a way to close the door on a painful part of her life. A chapter that started when she felt abandoned by those she loved the most to realize sometimes asking for help is part of friendship as well. Though she had felt alone she knew now she was not.

The door unlocked and shut and eventually Lucas's footsteps entered the kitchen. She had not thought of how to convince Lucas to accompany her to the store. Her recovery had already taken so much from him but she was sure this final step would give him some freedom as well.

Lucas greeted her with a smile. He set his game binders on the table and his eyes fell on sketch pad that lay before her, "Are you sketching again?"

She smiled in return and nodded, "Not too much. I started a few days ago. I'm just getting back into the swing of things."

"Wow that's great Brooke." He came around the counter and wrapped her in his arms. He leaned back and took a seat next to her, "How come you didn't tell me earlier?"

"I wanted to see if I could do it on my own. I know you still had my sketch pad and pencils. I thought I'd give it a try and just see where it went."

"How does it feel?" His voice thinly veiling concern. Sketching just a few months ago seemed to bring up nothing but memories of the attack.

"Empowering…It feels good to know that something I thought I was forever done with can be part of my life again."

"That's great to hear Brooke."

He moved around the counter to the refrigerator pouring himself a glass of juice. He was happy to know she was making progress in therapy but slightly disappointed that she had not shared the steps she had taken with him earlier.

He wondered if Haley already knew about the sketches and with the thought jealousy reared its ugly head. Was there someone else who Brooke shared her secrets with now? He worried again that one day she'd wake up and not need him anymore.

He shook his head and quickly pushed the thought out of his head, this was about her, not him.

Brooke took a moment to allow Lucas to relax after work. Finally she spoke after thinking over her words, "Lucas, things have been going really well lately. I feel like I'm ready to move forward from all this. But I've got some important steps to take. And I'd really appreciate it if you could help me in putting all this pain in the past."

"Of course Brooke. I want to be a part of this."

"I think I'm ready to go to Clothes over Bro and I was hoping you would come with me." Her voice not holding as much conviction as she had hoped. Saying the words made the act much more of a reality.

His face instantly fell as she mentioned Clothes Over Bro. This wasn't the step he was expecting her to take, "Don't you think it's too soon?"

She gave a quick shake of her head, finding the strength she needed, "I think I have to face it and everything feels like its falling in place, finally. I'm sketching again, I took Jaime out yesterday and it felt like old times, I'm talking about Victoria in sessions. It just feels rights."

"Brooke, you weren't able to even drive past the store a few months ago. You don't want to push it."

"I know what I am capable of Lucas. I know this seems sudden but it's been a long time coming."

His silence seemed to confirm he was not convinced, "Lucas, I'm going to go regardless of whether you come with me or not. I'd prefer you be there but I will do this alone if I have to." She felt herself tense as conversation continued. She knew he would not be convinced easily and the realization she may have to do this alone caused her stomach to twist and air to feel sparse.

He let out a small sigh and placed his hands over hers on the counter, a slight reassurance, "I won't let you do this alone."

He would protect her, he had promised her months ago she wouldn't be alone again and standing on the verge of something new he couldn't leave her alone because of his own fears. Brooke was piecing together her life and he wanted to be a part of it. A big part if she'd let him.

She stood up and embraced him, finding herself instantly relaxing as his hands wrapped around her frame, "Thank you Lucas. It means the world knowing you believe in me."

"I'm only returning the favor Brooke. You've always stood by me and I promise I'll always be there for you."

She smiled at him, feeling grateful for those around her who were now helping her rebuild the life she thought forever lost.

xxxx

How deep in the valley must you stay
To know why your footsteps led you that way
The way on may be truly to stand in one place
And let the deep of the valley
Fill you will grace

xxxx

Sarah Harmer

I hope Jaime was insightful enough! He was very important in getting Brooke to realize the next steps she has to take to put the attack behind her. I hope Brooke's recovery came through. I know it has been slow and that she has had many set backs along the way but she will take some big steps in the next few chapters. All questions will also (hopefully) be answered in good time as well. Teaser for the next chapter: there will be a major Brucas moment!

Thank you for reading and please review if you have a moment.