Another long one. Had this in my head all day, then wrote it in ten minutes.

The Face Of Boe looked into the Doctor's stricken brown eyes, and told his great secret.

"You Are Not Alone."

Unknown to the others, he sniggered with evil joy as he died.

One year later, the Doctor thought he knew what the Face had meant. He fought the Master, he won, the Master died through outside circumstances, all was as usual. He had a Return of the Jedi scene and then went away.

A few minutes later, a female hand with red fingernails picked up the Master's ring.

It was Lucy Saxon. However, she didn't look much like Lucy Saxon. She had a new hairstyle, a new dress with an even lower neckline, and a nice evil laugh. This was because she was actually the Rani.

"Surprise, surprise," she said, then laughed again.

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, Rose, Mickey, Jake, Jackie, and Pete were gathered together in the living room of the Tyler Mansion. Rose was full of apprehension. This was not entirely unfounded.

"Rose, darling," Jackie said, sadly, "there's something I should have told you years ago."

"What is it, Mother dearest?" Rose said.

"You're…" Jackie started to cry. Pete patted her awkwardly on the back. Jackie sniffled, then continued. "You're adopted."

There was a long, awkward silence.

"WHAT?!!"

"Can you ever forgive me for not telling you?"

"WHAT?!!"

"The time just wasn't right, dearest-"

"WHAT?!!"

"Pete- the other Pete- and I found you in a basket on our doorstep twenty years ago. This was with you." Jackie held up a watch. "It's broken, but maybe you'll want the piece of junk for sentimental value."

Rose grabbed it. Mickey leaned over. "Hey…" he said, "that's just like mine!" And he reached into his pocket and pulled out an identical watch. The two flicked the watches open. Golden light streamed out.

"Aaaagh!" screamed Jackie.

"Aaaagh!" screamed Andred. "I've turned into a complete loser!"

"Don't fool yourself, Andred; you always were a complete loser," Romana said dryly. Then she looked down at herself.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!! I'm a CHAV!"

At the same time, back in the Doctor's universe, Gwen Cooper noticed a pocket watch she hadn't realized she had. "I wonder what this is!" she thought as she opened it.

A few minutes later Owen came in. "Gwen? We've got another Weevil nest, come on-" He stopped. "Gwen?"

Gwen had cut her hair and was examining herself in a pocket mirror. "Hmm, not bad…"

"Gwen? Have you been possessed or something?"

"Hmm?" She looked up. "Oh, my name's not Gwen. It's Susan."

"OMG YOU HAVE BEEN POSESSED!" Owen shrieked, and kicked her out of Torchwood.

Susan looked at the fountain.

"Well, I'm obviously SOMEWHERE on Earth…"

The Doctor was relaxing on a beach in eighteenth century Spain when the Master turned up and shot him.

He regenerated into the handsome, dashing Eleventh Doctor, with gold hair and clear blue eyes.

Then the Rani turned up. "Hello," she said seductively. "Bet you weren't expecting to see me again." Then she shot him.

He regenerated into the even more handsome and slightly goth Twelfth Doctor, with long black hair and smouldering green eyes.

Then, because Romana had figured out how to cross the gulf between universes, Andred appeared. "I can't believe you blew up Gallifrey!" he angsted and then shot him.

The Doctor regenerated into the very ginger Thirteenth Doctor. He even had a shoddy little goatee.

Then Susan turned up.

"Grandfather!" she cried.

The Doctor squinted. "Do I know you?"

"Waaah!" Susan cried, and ran away. The Doctor shrugged.

Then Romana appeared.

"Doctor?" she asked, uncertain.

"Rose!" the Doctor screamed and kissed her. Romana kissed him back. "Oh, Rose, I thought I'd never see you again," the Doctor said.

Then Romana slapped him, harder than Jackie and Francine combined.

"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME TRAPPED IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, YOU GINGER (censored)!"

"Ow!" the Doctor complained.

Romana marched off and stole the TARDIS.

Jack heard the doorbell ring. "What?" he thought, confused. "I didn't know we had a doorbell in our secret underground base. Or a door, for that matter." Shrugging, he answered the door.

A much older Doctor, with gray in his ginger hair, stepped inside and shot him.

After Jack came back, he glared at the Doctor. "What was that for?"

"You (censored) big face thing!" the Doctor screamed.

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