Author's Notes:

I wish I owned these characters, that would make me the happiest girl in the world. Unfortunately, Joss Whedon is the happiest girl in the world. I'd like to thank those who are reading/favoriting/subscribing to this story. The writing totally sucks, yet you guys are still awesome. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thankful

Spike stayed by her side. She was in bed, completely unconscious. He sat next to the bed and kept his hand on hers. No one else was in the room… except for Buffy, who was standing about in the corner.

Everyone else was in the room next door, sitting in a circle, morbidly quiet.

"I-is she going to be okay?" Dawn finally spoke up, her voice cracking mid-sentence.

Willow had tears rolling down her face. She couldn't answer.

"It will take time," Angel answered. "But she'll be fine. She needs to get all of her energy back, and a lot of it was taken out of her."

"Oh, God!" Willow exclaimed as she began to bawl. She buried her face in her hands as Kennedy brought her into her arms. "I'm so sorry! I-I didn't want… I didn't mean…" She continued to bawl inaudible words.

"Will, baby," Kennedy said in attempts to console her. "Shh… it's going to be all right. We'll fix this."

"We'll all help," Xander said. "We can help take care of her, until she's back to normal."

Satsu shook her head. "I don't think Spike would want that."

Everyone was quiet.

Buffy shifted awkwardly in the corner of the dark room. She had to say something. The quiet was driving her insane. But what could she say? She couldn't just spit out, "Oh, I'm sorry I almost killed you. My bad. Let's go kill vampires!" or Spike just might kill her.

I'm so stupid, Spike thought. To think I wanted to spend the day with her. Have fun today. I wasn't even smart enough to realize that I needed to save her life. He stroked her hand gently with his thumb. And I was worried about our relationship. What a bloody idiot you are, Spike.

"Buffy?" Spike said.

"Hm?" Buffy turned her head quickly, shocked that Spike was calling her name. "What is it, Spike?"

"Do you still love me?"

Buffy froze. She didn't know how to answer this.

"Answer me, Buffy," Spike said, a little louder this time. "Before I died… you told me you loved me. Is that still true?"

"Yes, Spike," Buffy said, her voice shaking. "Yes, I still love you."

Spike closed his eyes. "If you love me," he said slowly, "then leave."

"What?"

"Just leave," Spike repeated. "Please."

"Spike, just—"

"Buffy," he cut her off. "I'm not going to say it again."

She looked at him, but he would not look back. She opened the door to the hotel room next door, and closed it behind her.

"Buffy," Angel said.

She looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes. "He wanted me to leave." She sat down next to Angel and put her head on his shoulder. "Angel…"

He put his hand on her head. "Buffy. I'm here."

"I… I love you, Angel. I need you. And no one else." She began to cry into his jacket. "God, what have I done?"

"It's okay, Buffy. I'm here." He pulled her face up and kissed her gently. "I'll always be here. I love you, Buffy."

"I am so blessed," Buffy said. She looked around at everyone else. "I have all of you, and… I love you all. I've been horrible lately… I can't have you all hate me."

"We'll never hate you, Buffy," Xander said. "We could never hate you."

"We've tried," Satsu joked.

No one laughed.

"I'm just saying it's impossible to hate you, Buffy," Satsu said.

Buffy genuinely smiled as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank you," she said softly. "Thank you all so much."

Spike was almost frozen. He didn't move at all as he held K's hand as he sat next to her, simply watching her unmoving body.

"I don't know if you can hear this, love," he started softly, "but this is important. What am I, some sort of coward? I don't know if I could tell you this if you were awake. I don't want to see your reaction." He scoffed. "Can you believe it? Me, a sodding coward? Afraid of a little girl?" He sighed. "Listen, K. I love you. I more than love you. With you, everything is different. People who are in love say the same things: everything around them freezes, it's quiet, and they can only see that person standing in some kind of spotlight. But with you, it's all different. Completely different. Everything moves incredibly fast when I'm with you, and then it slows, but it's still moving before it picks up speed again. And it's never quiet. Hell, with you, it's never quiet. Either it's your voice going through my head or… bells. Bells, just continuously ringing until I get a bloody headache. And it's beautiful. And when I look at you… I just don't see you. I see all of you. I see your body, your mind, your heart, your soul. And everything around you doesn't just black out. Hell, no. All the blues turn to red, and all the blacks turn to white. Everything changes color and shape, and it almost looks like a bloody Piccaso painting, only all the lines seem to be going smoothly, and all the sharp lines have softened and even though everything just blurs, it seems as if I'm seeing clearly for the first time. That's the reason I know it's not just love, Pet. It's not love, it's you. It's you."

Spike continued to sit there, completely still for God knows how long. There was no sound, no movement, no color.

K groaned quietly. "S…pike…?"

He sat up straight and leaned over her. "I'm here, love. Do you need something?"

The ends of her lips curled into a smile. "I just need you."

"I'll always be here," he said. "Can you move? Can you open your eyes, love?"

K tried to shake her head, but found that she had no energy to do so. "N-no. I can't move at all. My whole body… feels so heavy… a-and I can't…"

"Shhhh, love," Spike said. "You need to save your energy. You need more energy. Hang on, I'm going to get help."

Spike got up and opened the door to the neighboring room. He poked his head in to find everyone looking at him.

"Is she okay?" Satsu asked.

"Willow, can you help me?" Spike asked, ignoring everyone else.

"Y-yes," she stuttered, standing up. She followed Spike into the darker room.

"She's been awake," Spike said. "She just has no energy. She's finally mustered enough up to speak to me just now, but that's all she's got. I figured you could help her fuel up again."

"Magic's not going to help," Willow said. "I-I can't put in energy after taking it out like that. It's like if I heat metal and then cool it again… it'll just crack. She's going to have to generate her energy the old fashion way."

"Which is?"

Willow rummaged through the minifridge which was on the other side of the room and she pulled out a bottle. "Gatorade." She approached K. "You're going to have to help me with this."

Spike put his hands on K's back, slowly lifting her up at an angle. Willow opened her mouth and slowly poured the liquid down her throat.

She coughed after the liquid went completely down with the last of her energy.

"I'm sorry, K," Willow said. "Sometimes the liquid might go down your trachea… but it's all right. The electrolytes should help you get energy."

"Electrolytes," Spike repeated. "Thanks, Willow."

"It's the least I can do," she said with a small smile on her face. "Just… take care of her for us. We're all worried. And sorry."

"Wil…low…" K whispered.

"Yes, K?"

"I'm… sorry."

"What?" Willow asked in shock. "Why are you sorry?"

"That the spell… went wrong. That we had to… end it. Are we… going to try again?"

Willow looked up at Spike, and then back to K. "Oh, God… she doesn't know. She doesn't know what Buffy thought, what she did, what I did…"

"What… does that mean… Spike?"

Spike closed his eyes. It hurt him to even think about how Buffy could do what she did. He couldn't say.

"I… I can't," Willow stuttered. "I can't explain. I think… I think Buffy should tell her, Spike…"

"I don't want to see her," Spike muttered to himself. "I'm sorry, K," he said, just before leaving the room and going into the hallway. He slammed the door behind him.

"Don't… go…" K managed to breathe out after Spike was already long gone.

Willow opened the door to the neighboring room. K heard her speak. "Buffy, do you mind coming in here for just a moment?"

Buffy walked into the room.

"I wanted to talk to her alone," Buffy said. Willow understood and left the room.

"I'm trying to… smile at you, Buffy… but I can barely even talk," K muttered. "I'm sorry… about the spell."

"K… I thought you were a demon. And that spell was supposed to show your true form. It almost killed you. If Spike hadn't arrived when he did, you would have died. I'm sure the last thing you want from me is an apology."

Silence.

"Say it," K whispered.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, her voice cracking.

K's lips twitched again. "I forgive you."

"You… what?"

"Forgive you," K repeated.

"Why?"

"I have my reasons," K said, a shade of laughter behind her voice. "I'd explain… but I think it'd tire me out too much. I can't even… open my eyes."

Buffy nodded. "That's all I have to say."

"Thank you," K said.

Buffy went back into the neighboring room, slowly closing the door behind her.

"She forgave me," she told everyone. "I just told her exactly what happened, I apologized, and she just forgave me."

"Just like that?" Kennedy asked. "That's it?"

"Yeah. That's it."

"I should go back in there," Willow said. "She shouldn't be left alone."

Willow went back and before long, Spike was back in the room, too.

"Hmm?" K hummed as the two people walked in.

"What do you need, Pet?" Spike asked, rushing back to her side. "Was Buffy okay to you?"

"Just fine. She apologized and… I forgave her."

Spike didn't respond. He knew sure as hell he wouldn't have forgiven her if he were in K's place. But then again, didn't Buffy try to kill him on many occasions?

"Forgiveness," Spike sighed. "It repairs the soul. Without forgiveness, there'd be nothing but hate in the world. You're completely right, love."

"Do you need anything, K?"

"No, Willow," she said. "Thank you."