A/N: I am so very sorry for the wait! Long chapter to partially make up for it.

Iponeddyou is an amazing dear who should not be surprised if I suddenly show up on her doorstep belting "You're the inspiraaaation!"

Enhoy (XD) the boxers and lack of Jake clothes, Ms. Freebush. Because you share my view on Chip Estin's party favor. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters, the movie The Shop Around the Corner upon which I first based this idea, or the ability to focus completely. Yeah, fml.

*** Bella's POV

"You're gonna be late."

"I am not, now shut up oh so helpful Mr. Rogers."

"Mr. Rogers?"

I sighed, pausing in my scurrying about the room to roll my eyes at my brother. "If you don't know who Mr. Rogers is, I'm afraid I'll have to disown you. As well as shun you and kick your big butt out onto the street."

And I was back to the scurrying.

This was my first time working on a Sunday since Sunday had been my usual and regular day off at Newton's. And the lack of habit of waking up early on a Sunday had not conspired to make me on time. First, I ignored my alarm clock and got up twenty minutes after I'd originally planned, then I dropped the soap in the shower and fought a five minute battle trying to get it back without inadvertently rinsing out my conditioner (note to self: switch to body wash already), then the milk that I'd already poured all over my Raisin Bran was sour, and finally I'd somehow misplaced all my clean bras.

The result of all this early morning fuckness: I was running far too late for my liking.

I hate Sundays.

"Pants," Jake called nonchalantly from the couch, where he was taking good advantage of a Sunday and lounging leisurely in just his The Fox and the Hound boxers. I think I hate my brother too. "And I do not have a big butt."

Frantic, I looked hastily to my legs before directing a glare at him. "Not funny, butthole with a big butt."

He laughed, switching the channel to some other stupid cartoon.

Okay, underwear, pants, keys, shirt, purse, book, breakfast bar—

"Shoes!" I headed for the stairs, nearly tripping as I hurried up them, into my room.

And paused in front of my bed.

My unmade bed.

"No no no," I chanted quietly to myself. "Now is not the time to give in to Anal-Retentive Bella."

I dashed to my closet, flicking a quick glance at my watch.

8:45

Fifteen minutes. If I figured it was an eight or nine minute walk to the store when really power-strutting, a two minute greeting, two minute walk to the time clock, and then a minute or two allowing for any problems...

"Shit!"

Quickly finishing the knot on my remaining sneaker, I grabbed up the things I'd set down for my shoe hunt, and made for my door.

"I'll get to you later," I told my unmade bed and blankets decisively.

As I rushed back down the stairs, I had to wonder how I'd become one of those people who always seemed to be, well, rushing to get out the door and to wherever they needed to be. Surely I wasn't like this before. Right?

Jake's intended-to-provoke singsong voice greeted me at the bottom of the stairs. "Five bucks says you're late."

"I don't gamble."

"Only when you know you're gonna lose."

"Don't you have some Dora to watch or something?" I hurried out the door before he could say anything in response.

8:47

I adopted an almost-jogging walk while I proceeded to try and chew my breakfast at the same time.

I'm going to die from choking. I just know it.

"Hey hey, move it to the side, Dog Whisperer!" I called as a small woman walking a whole fleet of dogs appeared in my path.

Now I don't know how, but it was like the dogs knew I was running late and purposely wanted to aid in that lateness. It was the only explanation I could come up with for how they set up a perfect strategy of one sniffing me while another two blocked my path, two others barked to confuse the hell out of me, and yet another took up the first's sniffing place in a neat rotation.

"Brumfeld, no! Wilhelmina, stop! Blossom, heal! Fitzwilliam, enough! Bubbles, halt!"

The tiny woman continued calling out exclamations of no-no's, but the dogs weren't listening.

I bet they're in cahoots with Jake.

In a last-ditch attempt (the sniffing was getting way too personal; far more personal than I'd had in a while, actually), I made my voice higher, more enthusiastic, and pointed across the street with a finger. "Look over there! What's that?"

As predicted, the dogs forgot me and instantly stood to attention, looking all around. It was kind of cute, in a way. At least, until I looked at my watch again.

8:51

What's it called when you kill your brother? Sibling-icide? Cause he is so dead. Him and his furry little cohorts.

I pretty much flat-out jogged the rest of the way to the store, my purse and hair flapping around me. I wouldn't even have time to put my sweaty, icky, no doubt frizzified hair into a ponytail before I had to see everyone. Great.

Sprinting through the door, with only a vague glance at the 'Sorry, We're Closed' sign I hadn't quite gotten used to being up even when everyone was there, I greeted a confused looking Alice. "Hi, Alice. Bye, Alice. Be right back, Alice."

She laughed hesitantly, her voice following my hustling footsteps. "That's my name; don't wear it out."

"Morning, Sue," I called to her as I passed her going down an aisle.

"Bella?"

I didn't have time to ask her what her question was, so I just kept on walking-not-running-but-kinda-sorta-running-a-little-bit.

Break room, time clock, my time sheet, sliding, ink—

8:58

"Yes!" Despite myself, I pumped a fist in the air in triumph.

I totally should have taken that bet.

"Bella?"

I whipped around to see Alice and Sue standing in the doorway, their eyes flicking between me and Edward, who I just realized was in the room, apparently microwaving some beverage.

I bet he woke up on time and doesn't have a bar of soap to lose and doesn't forget his shoes.

Fucker.

"Uh, yeah?" It was only now that I realized I was panting slightly.

"Oh honey," Sue began, "you know we won't penalize you for being a couple minutes late! Especially on your first actual weekend here."

She...they...uh... "What?"

Alice laughed, lightening the mood a bit. "Did you rush here, Bella?"

Almost got the panting under control, almost got the panting under control. Why was I panting? It wasn't as if it was that much of a workout. It's the stress. The stress. Yes yes, the stress of this whole mess. Snorting would not help me at all, so I told my brain to shut up, and focused back on the present and reality. "What makes you say that?"

Sue and Alice both raised an eyebrow in tandem.

I swallowed. "Well, um, I may or may not have accidentally overslept. And had a fight with my soap. And...yeah, let's just say I'm not used to working Sundays yet?"

"Aw dear." Sue came over and patted my shoulder comfortingly. "I told you, we won't penalize you for being a couple minutes late in situations like this. Now, if you make a severe habit of it..." She narrowed her eyes, but didn't appear any less mothering.

The beeping of the microwave got my attention, and I turned slightly to see Edward pulling some sort of cup out.

Yes, maybe Sue wouldn't reprimand me for being a minute or two late, but I had no doubts that he would.

If he's not late, I'm not going to be late.

I had to admit, the first time I'd been made aware of the whole working-on-Sundays-from-nine-to-noon thing, I'd been confused. I mean, three hours on a Sunday morning? What kind of business could you do that would make it at all worth it to be open for three hours on a Sunday morning?

And I'd been right. We didn't do much business on Sundays.

No, working on Sunday mornings was more for cleaning than customers.

Sunday was, apparently, the day almost all the cleaning was done. The scrubbing of the toilets, the washing of the mirrors in the bathroom, mopping the floor of the break room, dusting anything that needed to be dusted, sweeping the eggshell-colored tiles of the floor, cleaning any smudgy display cases. It was sort of astounding to realize how dirty one store got in only a week. If, of course, this was a weekly Sunday ritual. Which I could only imagine it was.

"Oh, Bella, hey!" I met Jasper on my way to returning the giant sweeping broom thingy to the supply closet.

I peered at him, wondering why he looked somehow different to me. "Um, hi, Jasper. How are you this morning?" That was the kind of polite greeting you gave to coworkers, right?

"Where are you headed?"

"I'm just returning this," I held up the broom thingy that didn't at all look like what I pictured when I thought of a broom, "to the supply closet."

And the winner for most awkwardly weird conversation of the day goes to... "Oh nice, nice. So...what are you going to do next?"

"I don't know?" Brilliant answer. I was so amazingly articulate people should record my conversations and frame the transcripts in a museum.

"Well, here." Jasper wheeled a vacuum from behind him. "You can vacuum the office next."

And I finally, suddenly understood why he had looked different. He was smiling evilly. Deviously? Wickedly? Well, it wasn't a sweet and innocent smile, let's just leave it at that.

He walked away after abandoning the vacuum in front of me, heading toward the metal spiral staircase in the back of the store that led to the second floor.

I stared down at the dirt-sucking contraption as though one look from me and it would drop to the ground in sheer terror. Obviously it didn't. Because it was just a machine. And it couldn't move without the aid of a human. Or maybe a very smart animal. Like a chimp. Could chimps vacuum? Hmm...

Because my thoughts were starting to get a little ridiculous, I decided to instead focus on my new task.

Broom first, Bella.

I stuck the broom, or rather "broom" (because finger quotes were very important in such a situation) back in the supply closet, fighting the urge to hide in there myself. With my luck, someone would find me all too soon and then immediately assume I'd been making out with a shelf and have me thrown into a loony bin. Not to mention fired.

Yeah, no. No hiding in the supply closet.

Jasper had mentioned an office. I could only assume he meant Charlie's, unless of course there was some other office in this building that I didn't know about...I didn't put it past the building to have hidden rooms currently being used as offices.

Pushing the vacuum in front of me, I walked toward Charlie's office. Vacuuming wasn't so hard, right? You just turned it on and navigated, and the vacuum did the rest.

Wow, what a funny word. Vacuum. Vaaaaack-yooooom.

I giggled what I could only hope was quietly as I pushed open the door to Charlie's office.

Alright, so maybe he had a bit too many small pieces of furniture that would be hard to vacuum under without using the nozzle hose thing, but I could do it.

I wonder if this is some sort of Rivot Divot hazing type of thing...Having to vacuum the office.

Plugging in the vacuum, I started her up. If vacuums could have genders, that was. Of course, boats and cars had genders, so why not vacuums?

I christen thee: Valerie.

Valerie Vacuum.

Thankfully, my snort was drowned out by the sounds of Valerie. As was just about every other sound. Damn this was one loud vacuum!

As I made my way around Charlie's desk, pushing Valerie underneath it, I had to wonder where he'd gone. I mean, when you spend most of your day in your office, where do you go when it needs to be cleaned and it's not one of those skyscraper offices that gets cleaned at night?

No, I was just being ridiculous. He'd probably only gone out to the main part of the store.

Find something else to occupy your thoughts, Bella.

One, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four, open the door. Five, six, pick up sticks...

Twenty minutes later, when I'd finished using the attachable hose to get under all the little pieces of furniture and in all the little cracks and crevices, I wanted to shoot myself. Vacuuming was the most boring, meaningless task. At least when you didn't have a song to dance to like Mrs. Doubtfire.

With any luck, hopefully now it'd be close to quitting time.

11:55

Oh yeah, I had good timing.

I grinned to myself, replacing the vacuum in its home and setting my sights on clocking out next.

"Hey, Bella!" I turned from gathering my things in my locker when I heard my name called.

Poking my head out the door of the break room with no idea as to who it was that had called my name, I answered to the entire store, "Yeah?"

"Over here." My head turned toward the sound of the voice, and I found the owner standing near the door.

Emmett.

I held up a single finger toward him as I smiled, telling him I'd be just a moment. Grabbing my stuff, I locked my locker (and giggled at the idea of that) before leaving the break room and heading for Emmett.

"What's up?" I said by way of greeting. For the first time I realized what he was wearing with his regular t-shirt: tight black cycling shorts with a gray stripe down each side.

Wow, that's a big sock he's got stuffed down there...

Horrified with myself, my mind, and my eyes for going there, I whipped the last back up to his face. His grinning face. Oh shit. Busted.

Before I had a chance to babble out something embarrassing or even ask Emmett why he was wearing shorts like that, I noticed the woman beside him. She was, in the one word I could think of, pretty. Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, the words came flooding back to me as I felt instant jealousy rising. I knew I wasn't ugly, but on the other hand I also knew I wasn't supermodel material.

Model Girl had a figure appropriate of her name: slender but with curves, long legs that helped in making her as tall as she was, eyes a deep blue, almost purplish color (I dimly wondered if they were contacts), and blonde hair that went down to her boobs. Boobs, I noticed with a surge of happiness, that were on the small side.

Score one for us shorter chicks!

"She likes cars and mechanic stuff."

Confused, I turned to find Alice standing beside me where I'd stopped a short distance away from Emmett and Model Girl. "What?"

"You had that 'Why have I never seen her on the cover of a magazine?' look on your face." I did? Stupid face. "Rose has the looks and the sometimes bitchy attitude to be a model or pageant contestant, but she hasn't been in to that kind of stuff since she left her tween days behind. She prefers car engines and mechanics," Alice tucked a stray strand of her hair back into place as she smiled at me, "that kind of whatnot."

"Oh." As pathetic a response as it was, it was all I could think to say.

Wait a minute...

"Rose? As in Rosalie, Sue's daughter?" I'd heard the name, which I may or may not have accidentally committed to memory because it wasn't exactly common, come up a few times in passing conversation.

"Yep, that's her."

Once more, the only reply I could come up with was, "Oh."

"She and Emmett are finally a thing." Alice's grin became even broader with her words. "Come on," she grabbed my arm, "I'll introduce you."

A practically skipping Alice skidded to a stop in front of Rosalie and Emmett, forcing me to do the same, though with far less grace than Alice.

"Rose, this is Bella. Bella, this is Rosalie, or Rose."

Rosalie politely stuck her hand out to me, and I shook it. She had smooth skin.

"I've heard about you, Bella." She smiled at me, and because I was sick, sick person, I happily noticed she had a crown on her right canine that showed when she smiled big like she just had.

That's right, smiled big. At me. While I was being a bitch about her non-perfect teeth.

Jeez, Bella.

"I've heard a little about you too." I smiled back, mostly just to make myself feel less like a bitch. We released each other's hands, and I finally addressed Emmett. Alright, more like I finally asked him what the fuck was up with his shorts. Maybe I asked a little nicer than that, but whatever.

"Oh, these?" He grinned a huge grin. "You like?"

I choked on a laugh, unable to stop it from bubbling out. It wasn't really good to stop laughter though, was it? It was like holding back a sneeze or something. And I was all for sneezing and everything, so I didn't actually, ya know, try to keep the laugh from bubbling out.

I avoided answering Emmett's question. "Why are you wearing them?"

"Cause we're going biking," a voice said behind me. I turned slightly to see Jasper, still wearing the same shirt with a ton of monkeys on it, but now in a pair of shorts very similar to Emmett's. Only Jasper's had a blue stripe down the side.

Starting to see a bit of a pattern, I focused back on Rosalie. Her shorts had a red stripe. More than a little startled, more than I cared to admit actually, my gaze traveled to Alice next. Even she had the same kind of black biking shorts on. Black spandex shorts? Hell if I knew the proper name for them.

Alice's had a yellow stripe.

"Biking?" I asked, because, well, it was all I could think to say.

"Yeah, like Lance Armstrong. Except we won't be quite so hunched over cause we're not racing."

"Or at least don't plan on it." Rosalie nudged Emmett in the side, smirking.

"Bella should come with us," Jasper said, still behind me.

"Oh yes!" Alice piped up from beside me. "That's a great idea, Jazz!" Jazz? I mouthed the apparent nickname to myself, wondering if Jasper was just a huge fan of jazz or...Oh. Jasper. As in "jazz-per".

Duh, Bella.

My confusion of the nickname almost kept me from noticing how lame Alice's surprise was over having just realized Jasper's idea. Unfortunately, "almost" wasn't "did", and so I got to hear all of the painful acting.

To stop the awful madness, I wondered aloud, "Is everyone going?"

"Everyone?" Alice repeated.

"Yeah, everyone as in...the other three people who are in this building yet not standing here with the rest of us?"

"Ohhh! No no. Sue and Charlie aren't going. They usually go out to eat instead of going with us on our shenanigans."

I forced myself not to sigh. So that meant Edward was going.

Yip-frickin-pee.

Wait, that sounded wrong.

Yip-frickin-ee.

Much better.

"So..." Alice pretended to hee and haw, mull it over. As if. The little sneaker. "Do you want to go with us, Bella?" She looked away from her feet now, staring me in the face. "It'll totally be a ton of fun!" she tacked on as though that would cinch the deal for me.

The thing was...on most Sundays, Jake and I drove to the reservation about fifteen miles from Forks, where we grew up and where our parents and a bunch of other relatives still lived. I'd have liked to have been able to say some Sundays we were too busy to make it, but that would have been a complete lie. Because we did go every Sunday. It was like a ritual for us, our parents, and whatever other family happened to join us too.

I couldn't even remember the last time I'd missed a Sunday.

So here it was, the choice. Go with my brother, whom I lived with, to spend some time with my family, who I saw all the time and had lived with for a good long while, or go with some new friends to do something I'd never done before?

Tough decision.

"Oh, um, well, yeah I guess I will." I smiled decidedly at the end of my fumbling sentence. "I have to make a phone call first though."

"Great! Just meet us at the Burger King across the way," Alice indicated vaguely with a thumb in some direction, "okay?"

I nodded as all of us (regrettably including Edward) walked outside together, leaving Charlie and Sue inside to lock up. When we'd parted ways, me standing in front of the store and the others strolling across the street, I pulled out my phone. Eh, screw making an actual phone call. That was what text messages had been invented for, right?

I'm gonna go with some of the other employees here to do something today, so explain to everyone that I'm sorry I'm not there and stuff, alright?

Whatcha gonna do?
**Big Bad Wolf**

His next text came while I was still writing my reply to his first one.

And with whom again?
**Big Bad Wolf**

No one would ever believe Jake was my younger brother without first seeing our birth certificates. Sighing, I deleted a couple words to retype some others.

I'm going bicycle riding. And with the other people who work here. Ya know, um, Alice and Jasper and stuff? I've mentioned them.

BICYCLE RIDING? You? Bells, I love you, but you were the neighborhood kid who could never achieve bike balance without training wheels.
**Big Bad Wolf**

My cheeks flamed at the memory, my teeth biting into my lip at the simultaneous memory of the teasing I'd endured from kids not as loving and understanding as my siblings.

Yes, well, I'm hoping I've gotten over that. Just tell everyone the deal, ok? You can make funny Bella-bike jokes if you want. Love you and bye!

I put a ridiculous smiley and heart at the end, knowing Jake hated those "ooey-gooey girly-type" (his words, not mine) things.

K, love you too and have fun!
**Big Bad Wolf**

Slipping my phone into my jeans pocket, I made my way across the street.

Only fast food restaurants could smell so delicious before you even entered them. Well, maybe Chinese too. And pizza. But only if it was a good pizza place.

"Bella!" Emmett waved me over from a circular booth in the corner. I decided to order after finding out what the game plan of the whole biking thing was. I still knew precious little about what, exactly, it was we were doing other than something that involved riding a bicycle.

I slid in next to Alice, who handed me a wrapped lump with a shrug of her shoulders. "I hope you like them just the way they're made."

"What?" I glanced down at the wrapped lump, realization dawning. "Oh, yeah, that's fine."

Chewing, she made a 'mmm'ing noise as she bumped my arm. I looked down at the container of half-eaten fries she was offering me.

You know someone likes you when they offer to share their French fries.

Smiling, I took a couple and stuffed them into my mouth quickly. Unnngh, grease and salt.

"Alice, who do I..." My gaze traveled around the table a little nervously as I tried to verbalize what I meant.

"If you're trying to say what I think you're trying to say, forget it. It's like three bucks, Bella. If I can't spend three measly little bucks on my new friend, I need to have a talk with my parents." She winked playfully at the end of her sentence, taking another bite of her burger to signal that was the end of that conversation.

Well, that was a little bit weird.

But who was I to refuse a free burger and fries from a friend?

Not the sort of person who did, that was for sure.

There was a pile of condiments sitting in the center of the circular table, so, liking a little something extra on my burger, I grabbed a pack of mayonnaise.

"Excuse me."

I glanced up mid-squirt, freezing.

"That was mine."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at Edward. "This?" I held up the now-half-empty packet of white stuff. "This one particular packet of mayo?"

His voice was stiff. "Yes."

My eyes pointedly traveled to allll the other packages of mayo lying on the table. "You're sure it was this one and not that one over there?" I nodded my head toward the condiment pile as I commanded my hands not to shoot any mayonnaise straight into his stupid, stupid eyes.

"Yes. I'm quite sure. Seeing as how I'd already opened that one when I got up to let Rose back in."

I thought over it briefly before I realized, aw shit, it had been open. "Well...sorry!" I shrugged, smiling 'apologetically' and not sorry at all. Picking up another mayonnaise, I quickly opened it and flicked it (kind of nicely) across the table to him. "There ya go. Happy?"

He didn't answer.

Really though, what kind of a man freely and openly admitted that he actually liked/ate mayonnaise?

Hmm, maybe he's gay.

I stared at Edward (stealthily of course, like James Bond. Or...Jane Bond. Yeah.) as I contemplatively chewed my food.

Nah, he'd checked out my ass; not gay.

Bi maybe? Could bi guys be girly-gay-ish but still be into girl parts?

Changing my mental subject, I turned slightly in my seat.

"So, what's the plan, Stan?" I asked an Alice with her lips wrapped around a straw.

"If you're not one of those people that thinks it's completely gross," Alice pushed her Burger King plastic cup toward me, two straws poking out of the top, "it's orange Fanta."

I smiled at her again, enjoying this new friendship that had kind of sprouted up out of nowhere. "Thanks." I took a grateful sip to wash away all the salt.

"And the plan," Alice continued, "is after we finish here, you can carpool with me or Edward to where we'll be biking. The bikes are already there cause it's a sort of rental place, but I know the owner so we got 'em for free." And here she grinned at me, a small piece of lettuce sticking between her left canine and the nearest molar.

I coughed at her, covertly gesturing a finger to my teeth. She jumped, snapping her mouth closed in what looked like absolute horror as she glanced around the table to see if anyone had seen. I couldn't help but laugh, albeit as quietly as I could manage so as not to embarrass her any further. When she'd apparently disposed of the lettuce fragment, she resumed talking.

"Uh, anyway. The place has these trails: one for the nature bicyclist, which is like through the woods on a hiking trail and stuff, another for the city slicker, which takes you randomly around Forks on sidewalks, and the last for an undecided, which is the first meeting the second halfway. We'll decide later which we want to take, and then...we just ride."

Since I was chewing, I only nodded my affirmation that the plan sounded fine and dandy.

"You gonna eat those?"

After offering them to me so see if I wanted anymore, which I didn't, Alice laughed and pushed her carton of fries toward Emmett. And that was when I realized the blonde between him and Edward had been rather quiet the entire time.

Sneaking what I hoped was a non-I'm-totally-looking-straight-at-you-to-figure-you-out look at Rosalie, I wondered if she just hated me, or if she really was naturally this quiet.

Could be both.

"Well...are we ready to go?" Jasper glanced around at everyone at the table, searching for nods or head shakes. He got nods.

"I'm gonna ride with you, Alice," I told her when we'd all skooched out from the booth and were heading for the restaurant's door.

She grinned in response before raising her voice unnecessarily loud. "Last chance for bathrooms unless you're a fan of outhouses!"

Since everyone was in front of Alice, and me, they all turned at her statement. The three men lifted their eyebrows in absolutely comic concurrence. I slapped a hand over my mouth in a vain attempt to cover up my laughter.

Alice flushed. "Alright. Rosalie and Bella, last chance for bathroom."

Still giggling, I shook my head, as did Rosalie.

Alice's hands flew up in exasperation. "Well fine then! I have to go!" She disappeared into the bathroom while we all just stood there. Awkwardly.

"Dude, I kinda want pie now," Emmett said out of nowhere.

Edward nodded at Emmett, licking his lips. Not that I was watching Edward's lips. "Pie."

Jasper gave Emmett a fist bump. "Pie!"

They scurried (well, not really, but it was fun to simile-lize them with mice scurrying toward a wedge of cheese) off to the ordering counter.

"Have you seen Emmett's ear?"

Surprised, because I may have forgotten Rosalie was standing there since the girl was so freaking quiet, I did a 180 so that I was facing her.

"What?" Was she referring to the size of Emmett's ears? What the fuck? Wasn't she supposed to be his girlfriend? I mean, damn!

It almost sounded to me like she stifled a laugh, which rose my anger level further. I may not have known Emmett very well, but I already liked the guy. And for his girlfriend to be poking fun at his ears behind his back was, frankly, pissing me off.

"Look at his right ear."

Before I could ask her what she meant, the guys, as well as Alice, were back.

"Pie?" Alice asked.

Edward replied, "Pie."

Now Alice pouted. "Pie?"

Jasper pulled a hand out from behind his back, a hand holding a cardboard triangle container in the universal shape of a slice of pie. "Pie."

"Pie!" Alice walked quickly over to him to accept the gift.

Emmett's eyes darted between Rosalie and I, a crease on his forehead. "Pie?"

Smiling, I declined with just a simple movement of my head.

Rosalie, on the other hand, walked up to Emmett and opened her mouth. "Pie." He took his little plastic fork, cut off a small bite of whatever kind of pie he'd gotten, and put it in her mouth. She giggled when a bit of the whip cream from the top of the pie caught on her lip and Emmett kissed it off.

"Ewww," Jasper groaned. "Let's go before we have to witness anymore PDA."

"You just wish you were gettin' some PDA," Emmett said, a heavy emphasis on the acronym and a smug smile all over his face. Slinging an arm around Rosalie's shoulders, he shifted to walk out the door.

A shift that gave me the perfect angle to see what the hell Rosalie had been talking about before.

On the side of his face, just a little below his right ear, was a blob of what appeared to be ketchup. Now the how hell someone could be eating and get ketchup up near their ear, I didn't know. But I snickered quietly to myself nonetheless.

"Rose and I are riding with Edward," Emmett called over his shoulder since he was in the lead. He threw a wink in just to gross out Jasper, at least it seemed that way when Jasper groaned again.

Jasper, who had been heading toward what I assumed was Edward's silver car parked in the lot directly opposite The River Divot, changed course almost instantly, veering off to follow Alice. She stopped in front of a yellow convertible (hell if I knew what brand it was because, despite many of my brother and cousins and friends' aggravations, no car knowledge had ever really stuck with me) with the top down and made to unlock it.

"This is your car?"

She glanced up at me, curious written all over her face. "Yeah?"

She must be rich. She's got to be rich. Right? I mean, Alice can't be that much older than me, and I barely had enough money to buy my stupid truck and then keep gas in the dumb thing, let alone buy a car so new and so shiny and so pretty...

I reached a hand out, totally intending to caress the pretty pretty car.

No, Bella! No touching!

Like the spaz I was, I morphed my gesture toward the car into one smoothing across the top of my hair. Awesome, just amazingly suave and cool. Yup, that was me.

"Shotgun!" Jasper called from his place several paces behind us.

My eyes flicked to Alice, hoping she could see the glint in them. She nodded so enthusiastically anyone passing by on the street might have mistaken her for a life-sized (well, sort of, haha) bobblehead. She slid into the front seat as I did the same on the other side, grinning the entire time.

Jasper finally reached us, and even though I couldn't see him, I could tell he was frowning and/or pouting. "You guys suck. I called shotgun."

Both Alice and I laughed.

"We're not ten anymore, Jasper. We don't have to follow the rules of shotgun," Alice said as she turned on the car with one hand and touched up her lip-gloss with the other. She revved the engine. "Are you coming, pussy?"

"Shut up, Brandon!" he said with far less venom than I think he'd intended. A second later I heard him sigh before the car shifted slightly when he climbed in.

"Alright, let's smoke this joint!" Alice called over the sound of the car and the radio, whipping out of her parking spot so fast I rocked forward in my seat before banging into the back of it. She laughed loudly, throwing her head back with it even as she came to the edge of the parking lot. "I love the virgins!"

I may or may not have started to shake in terror. Whatever.

A hand appeared from the backseat, scaring the crap out of me before I realized it was just Jasper. "Turn off this bubble-gummy garbage." He changed the radio station to something else, settling back into his seat.

"Hey! Who's driving this machine?" Alice changed the station back.

Jasper's hand appeared again, turning it to some other station than the first he'd changed it to. "What does that have to do with anything?" His hand disappeared. "This isn't the same one..." The hand was back, changing to another channel.

For a second I forgot my fear that Alice and her driving might kill me, instead focusing on holding back a laugh at the childish antics of the other two adults in the car with me.

"It's my car! Don't be a butt just because you couldn't sit in the front."

Jasper didn't answer, tuning to another station again. "Is it just me or is there too much give-me-a-headache rock around?"

He apparently passed some song Alice liked, because she started to bounce a little. "Ooh ooh, that! Leave it there!"

Jasper changed the station.

"Hey! Put it back!"

"No," he responded rather petulant-sounding.

"Jasper Carson Whitlock!"

"You're not my mom." He kept flipping through stations.

"Oh now you know you can't hear what song is playing when you do that!"

"I'm not going to listen to the damn Backstreet Boys even more." He paused in his station-flipping, looking at Alice calculatingly now. "Have you ever considered that perhaps you have an obsession?"

Alice lifted her chin. "Maybe."

That was the last straw for me; I couldn't keep it in anymore. I burst out laughing, bending forward in my seat as much as my seatbelt would allow as I giggled and laughed and a cross-between-ed.

"Is she laughing at me?" I dimly heard Alice ask.

"No, I think she's laughing at us."

"Well, serves you right for being such a baby."

"I wasn't being a baby! I'm just sick of the Backstreet Boys. We listened to them the entire way on the last trip."

"Ya know, you can call them BSB if you want."

"Never. Ever. In my life. Not even if you paid me with seven blowjobs a day for the rest of my life even when I'm in a nursing home and too old to get it up properly."

A whole new round of my laughter started at their back and forth and Jasper's last comeback. I belatedly realized my throat and stomach were starting to hurt, but hell if I truly cared.

"Jasper," Alice sounded like she whimpered. "Mental images; nursing home BJ's. Have a care."

I looked up through my teary eyes in time to see her shoot an 'I'm-sickened-now' pout his way, and him respond with only a shrug.

"Oh hell no!" My chuckles having receded some, I jumped at Alice's sudden outburst. Her hand dashed toward the radio before another one, obviously Jasper's because it wasn't mine and, well, no one else was in the car, shot out and grabbed hers. "Jasper," she growled.

"Hmm?" he asked innocently, an evil-smile lilt to his voice.

"Cut the shit and let go of my hand unless your preferred death is in a car crash. Today."

"You can drive with one hand and you know it so shut up."

Alice squirmed in her seat. "We are not listening to Jimmy Buffet."

"Ow." Out of the corner of my eye (alright, maybe I was really glancing between the two of them like a tournament tennis match, but that sounded creepier and stalker-ish-ier than saying 'out of the corner of my eye'), I saw Jasper dramatically put the hand not still restraining Alice's from changing the station to his heart as if he'd just been stabbed there. "That hurts, baby."

Alice's squirming stopped for a second, and my ears perked up. 'Baby' eh? In my head I giggled like a teenage girl. The song ended at the same time that Jasper's free hand reached for the radio and Alice slammed on the brakes, forcefully pushing both Jasper and I back in our seats.

"Jeez Louise, Alice! Don't you know how dangerous those kind of maneuvers are?"

She switched the radio to something she obviously wanted to hear, flippantly replying, "I looked in every mirror, Whit; it was all clear."

"You know I hate when you call me that girly-sounding name."

"'Course I do."

"You're mean."

I wasn't the only one laughing that time. But then I was the only one still laughing when Jasper leaned forward and changed the radio station again.

Alice growled something that came out sounding like "Arjah!" before jamming her finger onto the off button of the radio.

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Like, serial-killer-coming-up-the-stairs-and-tiptoeing-to-your-room-while-you're-hiding-in-the-closet quiet.

"Hey Alice, do you ever wonder if your fancy, shiny convertible here just practically screams 'Pull me over and give me a ticket!' to cops?"

I watched as her face turned slightly rosy, making me highly interested now in what had originally just been a way to break the quiet.

"Well, uh, sometimes I—"

"Check the glove box," a voice piped up from the back seat.

"No! Don—" But her objections were too late. I already had the glove box open.

"Alice!" I gasped. "You've got like..." I trailed off as my fingers combed through the piles of speeding tickets. "A ton of tickets in here!"

"And those are just the ones she can't flirt her way out of getting."

I glanced over my shoulder at Jasper to find his arms casually thrown over the back of his seat and a smug smile making itself at home on his face.

"Shut up, Jasper!" Alice screeched in embarrassment. "You're making me sound like some kind of—"

"Not sound like," I cut her off, "you are a criminal!" Looking away from the glove box, I focused on her red face. "Oh em gee, will you be my BFF?"

"What?" she gasped.

Unable to help my giggling, I asked, "Did you think I'd be horrified at your lack of paying for your speeding tickets? I'm not that much of a goody-two-shoes." I attempted a wink at her, hoping it didn't come off as though I had something in my eye or a nervous tick. "Though, admittedly, I'd never have the guts to not pay 'em. Or go over the speed limit. If I had a car that allowed me to go over the speed limit, that is."

She took her eyes off the road to look at me. "You are a fascinating woman, Miss Swan."

"Thank you?"

"Thank you!"

"For what?"

"Yeah, for what?" Jasper asked.

"Hey!" I switched my focus to frowning-slash-glaring at him, but he just smiled.

"Shut up, Jay," Alice admonished him, and I stared at her (only slightly, mind you) for all the many names/versions of his name she seemed to call him.

Did she have that many different names she called everyone on a regular basis?

Oh shit. Am I suddenly going to become Iz or Izzy? Or, Batman save me, something like Naws or Swannie or, oh jeez, Swannie sounds like Swami.

Oh my gosh, I'm going to become Swami. Everyone's going to call me Swami and there's not a damn thing I can do about it!

Thankfully, or not I guess, depending on how you looked at it, Alice's words cut off my insane inner worrying. "I was thanking her for coming with us, you nitwit." She turned to me again, and I fought not to be nervous that her eyes were only flitting back to the road as she looked at me. "Thank you for coming to hang with us, Bella."

I nodded with an 'of course!' smile, grateful she hadn't called me Swami.

"And for putting up with us." She shot Jasper an accusing look in the rearview mirror.

He seemed to completely ignore her, choosing instead to whine, "Are we there yet?"

Alice sighed overdramatically, glancing over to me again. "Like I said, thank you."

Not a minute later we were slowing down, easing over to a building on the side of the road in a fairly large clearing that was a welcome break from all the trees. The building was surrounded by short grass on three sides except the front, which was covered in dusty dirt that kicked up as Alice parked in the grass.

"This is it?" Somehow, and for some reason, I'd been expecting something...different.

"Yep!" Alice unbuckled, got out.

Jasper thumped the back of my seat. "Yo. You getting out?"

"Hmm?" I stopped gazing around at our new environment long enough for Jasper's words to process. "Oh. Yeah."

"Where's Edward?" Alice asked, twirling her keys around her index finger.

Was that a rhetorical question, or was she really asking if we saw Edward anywhere? I mean, there does seem to be quite a crowd, so maybe she wants us to look around for him with her. Of course, she could also just be wondering aloud and not actually mean—

"Did he leave before us?" Jasper saved me from my ridiculous thoughts.

Alice shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention..."

"Oh, riiight," Jasper realized sarcastically, "you were too busy ignoring my shotgun."

"Isn't that him?" I interrupted, pointing.

On the other side of the building, parked just like we were ('cept maybe a little sloppier), was what looked to me to be Edward's silver car. It kind of looked like that was him, too, sitting on the hood of it facing whatever lay beyond the building. And hey, was that Emmett with his hands on either side of someone, Rosalie, I'd imagine, on the side of the car?

"Is he smoking?" I heard Alice shriek as she practically went stomping across the distance separating us from the silver car. Well, if you can run while stomping. Maybe she was power stomping? Either way, both Jasper and I took off after the cloud of dust that was her.

Since we were really kind of jogging, we caught up to her just as she reached the car, bypassing Emmett and Rosalie and heading straight for the front of the car.

"Are you smoking?" she screeched at Edward while Jasper and I just stood there. I turned my head to see if Jasper knew what was up, finding him gone rather than standing beside me. Well then, I thought to myself, guess I'm the only one standing here while Alice's screeches at Edward.

Wait, Alice screeching at Edward.

I grinned to myself.

This could prove very entertaining.

"What? Jeez, Alice, calm down." Edward put a hand on her shoulder, looking for all the world to keep the petite woman from attacking him. "It's a pixie stick," he finally said, holding the white stick up in his free hand.

"Oh." Alice's...whatever it was seemed to deflate at his words. "Well, good." She took a step back and crossed her arms, a smile returning to her face. "How long have you all been here?"

Edward shrugged, tossing back more of the flavored sugar from the stick in his hand. "Not long, I guess."

"You guys ready?" Emmett called from the back of the car, where it looked he, Rosalie, and Jasper were all hiding.

"Yep," Edward called back, climbing smoothly off the hood of his car.

Confused and feeling a bit out of place now, I followed behind Alice, unsure what we were doing next or when we'd actually get to the whole, ya know, bike riding part.

"Whoa whoa whoa," I heard from behind me before the air shifted as Edward strode by me. "Alice! Is she wearing that? I thought it took you guys so long because you'd stopped somewhere to find her something."

What the hell? "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Edward spared me a quick glance. "If you don't know, obviously you've never done this before."

"Done what? What the hell is wrong with what I'm wearing?" Not thirty seconds ago I was wondering if the whole asshole bullshit thing was just temporary and maybe now he'd act like a normal person, but oh hoh, how wrong I'd been!

"Alice, you can't be serious."

She merely rolled her eyes. "Take a chill pill, Mister Whinypants." Now she held up a bag I hadn't noticed in her hand before. How had I missed that? Jeez, time to go to the optometrist. "I swear," she mumbled grumpily but still with an undeniable hint of fondness, as she walked away from Edward, "it's like I'm friends with a bunch of whiny kindergartners."

Well gee, I hope that doesn't include me...

I snickered to myself despite it all, even Edward's odd dislike of my jeans and shirt. It wasn't as if they were ratty, holey jeans or anything. They were fairly new, actually. And it wasn't as if the shirt had a saying on it that was too complex for his asshole self to understand. It was just a plain old shirt.

He's such a weirdo.

"Bella!" Alice called, making me look up and my thoughts leave Edward behind. "Are you coming?"

Huh? Oh, well, I guess I was supposed to follow her...wherever she was going. "Yes?" She waited while I walked to her side. "Um, where are we going?"

"To change."

Oh yeah, because that makes absolutely perfect sense.

"Change...what? And why are we changing whatever we're changing?" I had a sudden, irrational urge to apologize for asking so many questions and not knowing what was going on.

She laughed. "Bella, do you really think you'll be comfortable riding a bike, for longer than a leisurely ride around the cul-de-sac, in jeans? It's not exactly pleasant," she lowered her voice slightly, "if you know what I mean."

"Oh." Yeah, I was a genius.

"Before we left the store, I picked you up a pair of biking shorts," she raised the hand holding her bag, "like what everyone else is wearing."

I glanced over my shoulder, suddenly remembering that all the others were in practically matching spandex-y shorts with the stripes varying in color for each different person. Yellow, red, gray, blue, I noticed Edward's green-striped ones for the first time and dimly wondered if they got to pick the color they wanted or if Alice had done it. Jasper's eyes were blue, Rosalie's nails were red, Edward's eyes were green, Alice's car was yellow, Emmett's...Emmett's nothing was gray.

And I'd been so close to making the colors make sense too! Shit.

"Do you want a stall, or are you not that shy?" Alice teased, and I belatedly realized we were now standing inside a bathroom.

As my answer, I unbuttoned my jeans and toed off my sneakers.

"You have lovely legs," I heard Alice sigh what sounded like wistfully before I looked up from pulling my jeans off.

I looked at her questioningly, not saying anything.

"What?" She arched an eyebrow at me. "It's not like I'm hitting on your or anything, sheesh." She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm just admiring your legs. I've got rather short ones, as it happens, so I tend to admire those with longer ones."

"Yeah, but I think you'd kinda look weird with longer legs..." I mused, mostly to myself. "And it's not like I'm that much taller than you anyway. If you want to admire some legs, check out Rosalie's."

Alice laughed. "Oh I know. But see, Rose is built for those kind of legs. The fact that you're actually close to my height is what makes me love your legs." She winked easily at me.

"Yeah, well," I moved to cover my legs protectively, "they're mine so don't even think of stealing them." Knowing I probably seemed stupid but not caring anyway, I jokingly stuck my tongue out at her.

She chuckled before saying, "Thanks, by the way."

"Hmm?"

"For thinking I'd look weird with longer legs. I always feel so short, and sometimes inconsequential because of it, and like longer legs would cure that. And what you said is probably one of the nicest, yet strangely worded, compliments I've ever received."

I didn't know what to say to that. Had no freaking clue, actually. But, maybe somehow sensing I was rather speechless at the moment, Alice pulled something from the bag, saving me.

"I'm pretty sure this is your size. I had to wing it, but I think I aced it anyway." She smiled as she handed me a pair of black shorts looking much the same as every other pair I'd seen being worn today. Except mine had a bright purple stripe on them.

I started to pull them on, wondering how to word what I wanted to say. "Um, Alice, I don't...that is, there's no need to...I mean, er, I don't need to be bought all sorts of things or whatever to like you and want to, uh, hang out with you, and I don't want you to think that you have to."

"Oh sweetie," Alice patted the side of my upper arm, almost my shoulder, smiling kindly at me, "I know. But I like buying my friends stuff. I don't do it because I have to. I do it because want to."

"Alright, I just...I wanted you to know I don't need to be bought. Though really, the mere peek into the goings on of this, group I guess you'd call it, is payment enough." I wanted to wink, but was afraid there'd already been too much winking going on. So I could only hope that she'd be able discern the humor and joking in my voice.

She laughed, as I'd meant her to. "It is quite the dynamic, isn't it?" I nodded, pulling my shoes back on. "Oh! So the shorts fit, right?"

"Yeah, they fit good. Thanks for them."

"I've got such size-guessing skills. And anytime, Bella, anytime."

Jasper and Edward both had pixie sticks when we returned from the bathroom, and Emmett had resumed his position with Rosalie against the car.

"Hey, Alice," Jasper called, "look, I'm eating a pixie." His face broke out into a huge grin immediately, as though it'd been there all along and he'd simply been hiding it or something.

To my surprise Alice flushed, almost her entire face turning red.

"Isn't that lovely?" she replied in a weaker voice than her normal one, the sarcasm barely evident at all. "Where'd Emmett and Rose go?"

"We're over here," came Rosalie's kind-of breathless reply from the far other side of Edward's car.

"Yeah, why do you think we're way over here," Jasper muttered.

Alice pretended Jasper hadn't said anything. "I'll go get the bikes. Be right back."

"Where's she going?" I asked like an idiot, really not wanting to stand there with Edward and Jasper with Rosalie and Emmett making out just a few feet away.

"To. Get. The. Bikes," Edward enunciated every word.

I rolled my eyes at him, unable to fight giving in to that urge. "I know that. I meant where is she going to get the bikes?"

"Her 'uncle'," Jasper shrugged as he put air quotes around uncle.

"'Uncle'?" I questioned, mirroring Jasper's air quotes.

"It just means that we're not really related by blood," Alice said, coming up behind me, "but we're closer than if we were." She grinned at me before turning her grin onto the guy whose arm hers was currently laced through.

One look at him and all I could think was "Cheech." Granted, an older-ish and taller-ish Cheech. Not only did he kind of resemble him in the face area, but he had the beginnings of the same kind of drooping mustache, hair on the sides of his head but not anywhere near the forehead, and obvious Hispanic descent. His hair couldn't decide if it wanted to be gray or not, his face was lined with signs of a good life, and he wore a dirty white tank top, cargo shorts, and, laughably, pink flip flops.

Alice unlatched their arms to gesture. "Bella, this is my Uncle Felix. Uncle Felix, this is my friend Bella."

"Hi, nice to meet ya," he gave me a kind of salute-slash-nod-slash-wave thing. His voice wasn't what I expected. Less Spanish accent, more California drawl.

I smiled. "You too."

"Well," he turned to Edward and Jasper, using both his hands to simultaneously flick Edward's ear and tug on Jasper's, "are you wimps ready?"

Edward and Jasper flinched back, but they had smiles on their faces.

"We can take you anywhere, anytime, old man," Edward taunted as Jasper mock punched at Felix.

"You wish, losers." Felix rocked back on his heels, pretending to dodge one of Jasper's punches.

"Yeah, we're not the losers wearing girly shoes there, mister," Jasper joked with a straight face.

"Hey, I've seen you in cowgirl boots boy, so shut up."

Jasper blushed. "They're called cowboy boots!"

Felix waved him off with one hand, absently scratching at his sorta-Buddha-belly with the other. "I don't know why you hang out with these chumps, Ali O'Malley," he told Alice, his face betraying his words. It was quite obvious in their behavior and mannerisms that they liked him and he approved of them as good company for his 'niece'.

"Me neither, me neither," Alice teased, snatching the pixie stick Jasper still held in his hand and finishing it in one toss back.

"Hey! Where are the bikes?" Emmett sauntered out from the side of the car, arms spread wide in confusion.

"Over there, Don Juan," Felix motioned behind him with a thumb.

"Sweet." He nodded approvingly. "Well, we gonna get this show on the road?"

As Emmett started walking toward where Felix had indicated, slapping a hand on Felix's back as he passed, Rosalie appeared behind him, smoothing a finger across her lips and leaving a shiny gloss in its wake.

"What?" she asked, glancing around at everyone, totally not playing the 'innocent' card very well.

Jasper's face scrunched up again, and he followed Emmett with a simple, "Ew."

Felix wrapped an arm around Alice's shoulders, kissing the top of her head lovingly. "You be careful out there, Ali O'Malley. I've got to get back to work."

"We will be. Thanks again, Uncle Felix."

He nodded. "Anytime. Good to meet you, Bella," he waved a hand in my direction before turning his eyes on Rosalie. "Stay beautiful, Flower," he said, winking at her. "Later, Pretty Boy," he called to Edward, halfway to having his back on us as he retraced his steps the way he'd come.

Edward grinned, clearly used to this. "Prettier than you since '84."

Felix's laugh echoed behind him before Jasper's slightly-exasperated voice cut through.

"Are you coming?" He was looking back over his shoulder at Alice, though I supposed he'd meant all of us.

Alice responded really quickly. "Yep!" Too quickly. Hmm...

"So have we decided what trail we want to take?" Rosalie finally piped up as we strolled toward where Emmett and Jasper were standing.

"I dunno, have we?"

"Hilarious, Alice."

Alice let out a small chuckle. "Well, we might have decided on something while you and Emmett were...indisposed." Her eyes twinkled, having the same effect as though she were winking.

Rosalie pulled what came off as self-consciously on her button-up shirt, speeding up her pace until she stood beside Emmett and Jasper.

I don't know what I'd been imagining, but somehow, I'd conjured a more "deathtrap"-like picture in my head of the bikes we'd be riding. But no, the six bikes in front of me were just...regular bikes. They looked completely harmless.

"This one's yours," Jasper wheeled a black bike with purple accents to me.

Really, Alice? "Wow, Alice," I laughed, though it sounded far more nervous than I'd wanted. "How much trouble did you go through to orchestrate these color coded outfits and bikes?"

She shrugged. "None, really. Uncle Felix is a bit meticulous about how he organizes his bikes, and I just politely asked him to please get six from certain colors."

I nodded knowingly. "Wrapped around your little finger like a second skin, isn't he?"

"Oh you know it!" she laughed.

The bikes all looked almost exactly the same except for their different-colored accents. Different-colored accents that perfectly matched with the stripe of the bike rider's shorts. I shook my head again, amused by everything.

"Got the gear!" Emmett called, coming from the only non-outhouse-sized building on the lot to stand next to all of us and the bikes. In one arm he had water bottles, which I presumed would go in the holders between the two pipes that made up the area below the bikes' seats, and in the other—

"Helmets?" I questioned, despite myself worrying about my hair's awful tendency to take the whole 'helmet hair' thing a little too seriously. Another thing I'd been mercilessly teased for when it came to biking in my younger days...

Emmett tossed one to each of the five us. All of them were black.

"Helmets are the law, Bella," Edward intoned seriously, eyes cool and fixed on me.

Thinking of how he'd gotten here so much earlier than us, I shot back, in the same tone he'd used except with a bit more mocking, "So are speed limits, Edward."

"The helmets are just for safety," Alice interrupted before Edward could say anything back to me. "Better a helmet than your brains all over the pavement, right?"

Shrugging, I squished the thing on top of my hair, pleas from my hair ringing in my head. It fit comfortably enough thanks to it having all its pads on the inside. I strained the side straps to reach under my chin.

"Unless you have some sort of amazing shrinking head, I'd suggest a simple loosening of the straps."

I glared over at Edward for his comment, the glare turning into a laugh when I saw how dorky he looked in his 'Bike me!' helmet complete with streaks of blue ice on the side.

"What?" he hissed, eyes narrowed at me.

I loosened the straps and shook my head at him. "Oh, nooothing." My voice was airy and completely false to the words. I mean, really, who has a 'Bike me!' helmet?

A horrifying thought occurred to me, and I quickly snatched off my helmet to check. Biker Bitch was scrawled in dark green in a bad-ass looking font across the front of my black helmet. I grinned.

Damn right.

Putting the helmet back on, I carefully led the belts toward each other, afraid of pinching myself. Of course, pinching myself with them was exactly what I did.

"Fuck!"

Five pairs of eyes in five sets of biking attire (minus fanny packs, thank goodness) and five helmets turned toward me with matching astonishment written all over their faces.

I blushed the color of a ripened strawberry, eyes darting back and forth at nothing in particular as I explained, "Pinched myself."

Five looks of 'ahhh, totally been there, done that, and that shit hurts' replaced the astonishment.

"Aww," Emmett teased, "you want me to kiss it and make it better?" He puckered his lips at me, still unable to hide his shit-eating grin.

"Yeah, I don't think a kiss from you would really make it all better..."

He frowned as shocked insult took up residence on his face. Rosalie barked out a laugh and held up her hand.

"Nice!" Our hands met each other halfway in the satisfying smack of a high five. I grinned widely; she didn't hate me. Maybe she possessed a personality that had her quiet most of the time, or just quiet around strangers. Not everyone was a social seahorse, after all. Or maybe it just took her awhile before she decided a person was worth talking to?

The reasoning didn't matter to me, I was more focused now on how my hand stung.

Shit she had strong hands!

"Let's riiiide!" Emmett whooped enthusiastically.

"Wait. Wait!" Alice interrupted before he could speed off as though he were in a race and determined to win first so he could get the ten thousand dollar prize. "We still haven't decided on a trail to take."

Rosalie crossed her arms. "Oh we haven't, have we?" Her helmet read Biker Beauty, instantly making me wonder if Emmett had actually picked out the helmets.

I quickly scanned around the rest of the group. Alice's said Biking Brat and Jasper's read Biking Boy. When I saw Emmett's, I still couldn't figure out if he'd picked them, or if Felix had.

Bikey the Buff was proudly displayed on the front of Emmett's helmet, fire trails on the side.

Whoever had made these helmets certainly had a healthy dose of funny in their bones. I giggled to myself, not even trying to keep it in. Bikey the Buff. Come on!

"Well since Bella," I glanced up at my name, listening to what Edward was saying now, "seems awfully amused by our trail picking decision making, maybe she should pick."

"Wha—? Oh! No, no. It's fine. You all...you can pick."

"No, really Bella. Since you find us so laughable, pick."

I glared at Edward, wishing he'd go back to the ass who didn't talk to me, but at least couldn't be as much of an ass if he wasn't talking to me.

"Pick," he commanded in a deep voice.

"No." I lifted my chin like I was fourteen and disobeying my father again. "I don't take orders from you."

He seemed affronted. "What?"

Strike that, he seemed confused.

"Seriously, what is so hard to understand about that?"

Rosalie butted in just as Edward opened his mouth. "Well I think we should take the indecisive one. That way if someone doesn't like the nature, maybe they'll like the sidewalks. And vice versa."

Alice nodded. "Good thinking, Rose."

Frozen, I could only watch as they all hitched a leg easily over their bikes and took their 'we're about to ride off, not into the sunset cause the sun isn't setting, but we're about to ride off anyway' stances.

Why, why did I think this was a good idea?

I picked up one unsteady leg, supporting all my weight on my other unsteady one and my unsteady arms as I aimed for the pedal on the other side. Overall, I was just plain unsteady.

Annnd the pedal was missed.

I groaned as I kind of fell onto my bike seat.

Can vahjayjays bruise? Cause I think I just severely injured mine.

Alright. Okay. I can recover from this. It only hurts a wee little bit. I will not let this stupid bike beat me. Try numero two-o.

I got the pedal the second time, trying in pathetic vain to keep my bike steady as I put both feet on the bike. Why was this so hard? Other people learned to ride bikes when they were five years old! And here I was, a twenty-three-year-old woman with a college degree, living on her own, not a virgin, and yet I couldn't even ride a stinkin' bicycle.

Could I ride a scooter? Yes.

Could I skate? Yes.

Could I ice skate? Yes.

Ride a bicycle? No.

The stupid metal contraption wobbled unsteadily (I'm really beginning to hate that word...) beneath me. And like the scared idiot I was, I put a foot on the ground, afraid I'd tip over and embarrass myself even more than I was now.

Is the person who invented the bicycle still alive today? Cause I so wanna murder him. Her. Them. Nooo, it. Yes. The inventor of the bicycle must have been an it! A very very evil and cruel it.

"Whoa, are you okay?" A rather nice-looking forearm shot out and held my unsteady bike steady. I recognized the band on the arm instantly.

'Fuck off and mind your own beeswax!' I wanted to tell Edward, but instead I gritted out, "Fine."

"You don't look fine."

Gee Edward, you're so nice and kind, will you marry me?

"Hey! Hold up a sec!" he called to the others, who'd pedaled a couple yards in front of us.

"No!" I hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Here, I'll keep it steady while you put your feet on the pedals."

"I do not need your help! It's not like this is a horse and you can just hold the reins like a white knight while I sit back and ride!" Pissed, I swatted his hand away, refusing to look up to see if the others were staring in laughter at me. "Let go!"

"You're going to fall," he answered smugly.

"And you're not going to keep me from falling!"

He said something in response that I didn't hear, the anger in my head so loud I could barely hear my own words, let alone his.

Edward didn't remove his steadying hand. But did I yell at him again to do so? No.

Better to just let him have his stupid way than draw even more attention to yourself, my brain reasoned even as I called it on its bullshit. His hand was actually helping me get my bearings, keeping the bike solid while I got into pedaling position.

I can do this. I can do this. You just keep pedaling. Just keep pedaling, just keep pedaling.

"You got it?" Edward murmured beside me, his hand not holding my bike hovering behind my back. I could only tell it was there because it was so close, warmth radiating off it and into my spine.

Apparently he thought I couldn't even sit on the stupid bike without falling over! Fucker.

I pushed experimentally on the pedals with my feet, my hands gripping the ridged, rubbery handlebars so tightly they were turning white. My hands, not the handlebars. Edward's hand held my bike right next to my right hand, almost touching it. Surprising myself, I didn't fall straight over, instead moving a few feet forward.

Yes! I am not a completely pathetic loser!

I can do this!

I almost raised an arm in the air in celebration, but remembered myself and the fact that my hand was needed, just in time. I turned to my right, intending to tell Edward and his stupid hand that I had things under control and he could release. Me, I mean. Release me. Shit. Release his hand's hold on my bike. But then I noticed that he'd moved with me, pedaling as far as I had, even with only one hand on his bike and his body partially twisted.

Smug little asshole bastard.

Wanting to show him up, I promptly pulled his hand off (probably only accomplishing the task because I caught him by surprise) and pedaled forward again.

But apparently his hand was actually helping me, because without it there, I fell quickly to the side almost as soon as I pushed off. It was a brief fall. I sprawled awkwardly under the bike, one leg still above and one hand still on the handlebar.

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