Chapter Six: What They Found at the Mall
Raven had told Beast Boy to wait a few minutes in the hall—and a few was all it had been before she emerged in nondescript civilian clothes. Dark colors, of course. Black jeans and black blouse with a navy blue jacket over it.
Beast Boy suggested they take the T-Car and Raven nodded silently. On their way down to the garage, he kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, thinking about what he might be getting himself into with this invitation.
Naturally Raven's jacket had a big hood she could pull up to put most of her face in its shadow when they got outside; Beast Boy would have been flabbergasted if Raven had voluntarily worn any other sort of jacket. He'd never quite understood why Raven tried to hide her features so much, but he'd long since accepted that she felt more comfortable that way when out in public. You wouldn't think she was shy about attracting attention to her physical appearance, exactly—she sure didn't mind showing off her legs all the time in her standard outfit . . .
Wait. Showing off? That didn't sound like Raven, come to think of it. Maybe . . . maybe it honestly hadn't occurred to her yet that in these last few years she'd matured enough that most guys (Beast Boy included) would think her legs were definitely worth a second look? Not to mention third and fourth looks, if she stuck around long enough? So she just wasn't self-conscious about them, even as she obsessed (for some strange reason) over keeping her face hidden as much as possible when she was out in public?
What was a friend supposed to say to a girl in this situation? Raven, you probably don't realize this, but nowadays when you run around in that tight leotard that shows off your long legs, you look really hot. If you don't like getting admiring stares from lots of strangers, maybe you should consider a complete redesign of your costume?
Yeah, right. Telling a girl as touchy as Raven what she should or shouldn't wear, while tossing out unsolicited comments on her physical assets, would really go over well. (Not!)
Heck, maybe she secretly enjoyed having guys admire her legs, as long as they were smart enough not to harass her after they had just looked. But asking Raven to confirm or deny that sudden suspicion of his would not lead to anything good, whether it was on the money or way off base.
As a rule of thumb, Beast Boy didn't try to tell girls how to dress—and they usually returned the favor by showing precious little interest in how he dressed. Why rock the boat now?
"One question," Raven said suddenly as she slid behind the wheel of the car (Cyborg seemed to feel Raven was a better driver; he still growled if Beast Boy wanted to borrow the keys.) "Are you planning to shop for my present on this trip? If so, I'd better plan on going off somewhere else for a few minutes until you have it hidden in a bag."
"Naw," he said. "Already got yours." (Actually he had three presents for her locked up in a chest in his room, and hadn't decided which one to go with yet.)
Three hours later.
They approached the mall exit on the side where they had left the T-Car. Beast Boy was carrying a large shopping bag weighted down with several presents. On the other hand, Raven still wasn't carrying anything. Although she hadn't made a point of talking about it, she hadn't actually felt the need to purchase anything during their rambling journey through the mall.
That suggested she already had everything checked off on her list of Christmas presents to buy this year. She would.
But it also raised the question of why she had suddenly agreed to tag along on this trip at all if she didn't have any last-minute shopping to get out of the way. Was it possible she actually liked the idea of being alone with him while doing something halfway normal, such as roaming through a shopping mall?
Oh, who was he kidding? More likely she was gritting her teeth and making a determined effort to prove she could at least tolerate Beast Boy's company – and the presence of crowds of civilians all around her, even if they weren't paying any attention to her -- for a few hours at a stretch. He had a feeling his comment about her wanting to just vegetate in her room indefinitely might have gotten under her skin more than he'd expected at the time . . .
He wasn't complaining, though. Things were going about as well as could be expected. She still hadn't reopened the subject of his mistletoe ambush from the other day, either. As far as he was concerned, that meant that when the time was right, he could try his luck with an encore. Pity there was no mistletoe clearly visible above doorways here in the mall . . . but maybe owners of the mall, and of the individual stores, didn't want to be sued for recklessly encouraging sexual harassment or some such thing?
On the sidewalk outside, there was a Santa Claus standing by a metal tripod supporting a kettle. He was ringing a bell in a desultory sort of way, and a stylishly dressed girl with long ebony hair was dropping something into the kettle with a clink just as Raven and Beast Boy emerged from the doors ten feet away from the tripod. Neither of the Titans paid much attention to the nearby act of charity at first, but then they both froze as they heard the girl (whose back was turned to them) saying, "Happy Holidays! I always like to give what I can for the less fortunate!"
The sentiment was unexceptionable, and the voice expressing it was saturated with self-confidence and a breezy charm—but the mere fact that this voice was saying anything at all, here and now, was a huge danger sign.
As soon as he heard that voice, Beast Boy knew from experience that the speaker was beautiful, witty, graceful, sophisticated, well-traveled, and capable of wrapping a typical teenage boy around her little finger if she cared to make the effort.
She also possessed all the ethics of a particularly hungry piranha which senses your tender flesh has just entered its stretch of river.
In other words, she was Blackfire of Tamaran!
Beast Boy and Raven didn't even need to exchange significant glances before acting. Beast Boy was closer to the newly discovered threat, so he quickly stepped toward Blackfire, weaving around a middle-aged man who was just heading into the store to do his own shopping.
Raven lagged behind a little; Beast Boy knew she'd be doing her part of the drill, which was rapid surveillance of the surrounding area to see if Blackfire had any allies lurking a short distance away, hoping for a chance to blindside two Titans at once when they were focused on the obvious threat.
What Beast Boy wanted was to give Blackfire a nasty scare by clapping a hand on her shoulder from behind, like a cop in a movie, and sternly warning her not to try anything funny. However, given that she had once taught Robin some exciting new martial arts moves, that idea could easily go wrong. (And it was wildly optimistic to assume that she really didn't know he and Raven were somewhere nearby.)
So he settled for something more restrained. He sidled up behind Blackfire and said, in his most nonchalant tone, "Hello, Blackfire. What brings you back to this neck of the woods?"
Whatever reaction he'd expected, it wasn't what he got. Blackfire made a squealing noise, spun around fast, and said gleefully, "Beast Boy!" while opening her arms wide, apparently preparing to . . . hug him?
Working on sheer reflex, Beast Boy stepped back and raised his fists defensively—then suddenly realized how bad it would look if he threw the first punch at a "harmless" and "affectionate" girl. Of course Blackfire was neither of those things, but that wasn't the way a stranger would see it . . .
It didn't come to that. Seeing his combat-ready stance, Blackfire laughed a mocking laugh and lowered her own arms, folding them across her chest as she asked, "A little high-strung today, BB? You know I don't bite!"
"That's a matter of definition," Raven muttered as she moved forward to stand alongside her teammate. "And you still haven't answered his question."
"No? My bad. Got distracted because I was so happy to see a familiar face again—and such a cute one!" Blackfire unfolded her arms so she could render an expressive shrug. "I just thought I'd visit this colorful burg of yours in holiday season for a change; see if it really does bring out the best in Earth-people. Even pick up some nice gift for my little sister to show I'm ready to let bygones be bygones!"
"So who's chasing you this time?" Beast Boy wondered aloud.
Blackfire shook her head and looked mournful. "So young to be so cynical. Why can't you just lighten up and trust people more often, the way I do?"
Beast Boy gaped for a moment at that outrageous accusation, but before he could collect his thoughts Raven took over, saying, "I suppose you do trust people most of the time. You trust them to be dumb enough to fall for your latest scheme, at least. Figuring by the time they start to catch on, you'll already have left town with the loot?"
Blackfire produced a pristine handkerchief from a pocket of her perfectly tailored jacket and held it up in front of her face for a moment, while saying in a subdued voice, "I guess this little reunion just isn't going to work out the way I . . . hoped. Suppose we just go our separate ways and in six months or a year you might be ready to believe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and just want to chat with my favorite sister and her best buds again?"
Beast Boy hesitated. Without taking his eyes off the villainess who had nearly finagled a marriage between Starfire and a green slug, he asked Raven: "Should we arrest her while we have the chance?"
"On what charges?" Raven inquired. "We know she stole some jewels when she visited the Centauri moons, and later she pulled some dirty tricks on Tamaran, but those places are a little outside of our normal jurisdiction. How many felonies has she committed right here on Earth?"
Startled, Beast Boy thought about it hard. Blackfire had originally come here one step ahead of Centauri pursuers and tried to trick them into arresting Starfire instead, but he didn't think local courts would be very interested in that. Okay, Raven had a point. If Blackfire had ever robbed a bank in Jump City, for instance, or anywhere else on the globe, then he sure hadn't heard about it! (He suspected that would change if she lingered on Earth very long after this conversation, but you weren't supposed to imprison people just on suspicion of what they might do in the future if you didn't.)
He grimaced. "All right, Blackfire, you go one way and we'll go another, and there's no need for a fight."
"There sure isn't!" Blackfire agreed sweetly. "And to show there's no hard feelings, perhaps I can convince Santa to come up with something special for such a good little boy and girl this year!"
The corpulent Santa Claus by the charity kettle dropped his bell and shot his right hand into a pocket of his red suit. Meanwhile his left hand yanked away the cotton beard from around his mouth to reveal the pudgy features of . . . Control Freak.
Beast Boy was just starting to change shape when Control Freak's right hand emerged with a remote and squeezed a button.
Author's Note: Recently I was watching the episode "Employee of the Month" again, and I was reminded of a point that had bothered me the first time I saw it: How could a green-skinned Teen Titan work behind the counter of a fast food joint for several days without that fact becoming something of a sensation? None of the customers appeared to notice anything the least bit strange about seeing a green guy standing behind the counter taking their orders, and no journalists showed up to interview him about why he was doing this. No explanation was offered for why those things didn't happen.
On the other hand (I said to myself), this means it's possible that he can go shopping during the holiday season without attracting much attention from the crowds of ordinary people in a Jump City mall (some of whom, you'd think, would be diehard Titans fans). That may be a remarkably illogical assumption—but at least it has the benefit of resting upon a solid foundation of canonical evidence!
(I do remember an army of lovestruck fangirls mobbing Beast Boy in the movie Trouble in Tokyo, but I guess that only demonstrates how conspicuous and how popular he is in Japan; it doesn't prove a thing about how teenage girls (or any other civilians) normally react to him in Jump City, if they even notice he's there!)