Disclaimer: I do not own Burn Notice

(Why do we need to say that I mean it's obvious I don't…right?)

So after a brief hiatus due to school and track I'm back with hopefully a story you will all enjoy. This is outside my usual first person point of view but I hope you like it.

This is taking a fanfic about if O'Neil had never come and if Fi had actually left to go to Ireland. I might add a second chapter from Fi's point of view if I get enough response or if I feel like it.

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Michael sat on his bed fingering the gun he held in his hands over and over again. This was so much more than just a gun to him, to him it was her. It was what he kept on him at all times, like a picture in a wallet that reminded him of her at all times. Now it was the only thing he had left to remind him of the times they had shared, the times they had spent together on surveillance and the times they had made love. He remembered claiming to have not seen it the day that she left to go home:

"Are you sure Michael? I mean a gun just doesn't go missing." She said

"You probably packed it away without realizing it. It's probably waiting for you at home." He said only half paying attention to what she had said

"Are you okay?" she asked knowing full well that he wasn't

"Yea Fi I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine." She said

He stopped the memories from coming; every one was a bullet ripping through his heart and made him die a little more. He set the gun down and walked over to the fridge which was unusually full of yoghurts. He grabbed one and opened it looking at the contents within and set it down again, since she had left he had not been the same. Miami no longer seems appealing, yoghurt was making him puke his guts up and everyone seemed to remind him of her. Sam had not come by in a while, he had given up at trying to make Michael see that there was nothing he could do to change the situation and had just left him alone. Even his mother had stopped calling him and had resided to talking to Sam who was told her that it was his way of coping.

Only Strikler had continued as if nothing was wrong, not noticing that Michael seemed to be in a comatose state. He continued telling Michael that all was on its way to being fixed he only had to do this, only had to do that. As Michael stood there, fridge wide open and cup of yoghurt about to fall, he wondered how much he wanted to be back 'in'.

When he was in Afghanistan he could pretend that she had wanted him gone, no matter how wrong it was. He could do things to keep his mind off of her such as avoid getting blown up but here in Miami he was trying not to kill Strikler. Here he was filled with every mistake he ever made, here he was forced to live with the fact he had pushed her away with his obsession to have his old life back.

She had left a little over a week ago and since he had watched her flight take off he had barely slept, barely eaten basically he was barely functioning. It was the third time that day he had stared at the gun wondering if he should have given it to her, if he should just move on and be happy he was so close to getting his old life back but every time he knew he was wrong.

He had changed since he had arrived in Miami two and a half years ago. He had broken the most important rule a spy should never break...don't get emotionally connected. When he thought about he knew he had broken that rule a long time ago. He had broken that rule in Ireland when they had made love for the first time; he had broken that rule every second of his life in Afghanistan that he had regretted leaving her.

He shook his head out of the daze trying to stop thinking about her, the way she could handle herself and need him at the same time. They way they balanced each other in a weird way. She was loud and impulsive while he was logical (most of the time) and could blend in with a crowd. It was the way they contradicted each other, the way they could have a conversation without words and so much more that made Michael realize that with out her he was not himself, not any more. He was able to be an empty version of himself in Afghanistan but now after being around her for two and a half years he needed her like he needed air.

He pushed the door to the fridge closed and threw the full cup of yoghurt away in the trash letting the resounding thud it made ring in his ears. He picked the gun up and looked at it again remembering the times she had saved his life with it. He was so wrapped up in the memories that he didn't hear the crunch of tires on gravel nor he did he hear the feet walking up the steps to his loft.

He was shaken out of his daze by the sound of his door being open and instinctively he pointed the gun at the door. His mind stopped functioning, he couldn't think straight. This had to be a joke, some sick joke played by Stickler to toy with his emotions. "Fi?" he said quietly, disbelieving

She looked at him, looked at the gun in his hand, she looked around at the uncharacteristically messy loft and walked towards him. She removed the gun from his hands and looked into his eyes as if seeing him for the first time. She wrapped her arms around him holding him in a very un- Fi like way. Slowly his mind seemed to catch up with what was going on and he wrapped his arms around her holding as if he would never let her go. She started to kiss him passionately and he returned the passion. They moved slowly from the bar to the bed and she made to take off his pants but he stopped her. "Why?" he asked "Why did you come back?"

She froze, as if she had been hoping to not ever have to answer that question "I'm not the same person I used to be. Who I am now has everything to do with what I've done here, everything to do with you. I didn't fit in there, not even with my family. I talk differently, I walk differently, hell I'm not as impulsive as I used to be. I was about to make a bomb for Sean and suddenly I thought "Is this what Michael would do?" I didn't make the bomb in fact I told Sean a different way to solve the problem. He just stared at me as if I had gone mental. I've changed Michael." He nodded as if accepting this answer "Sam called me you know." She said "He told me that he was scared you were going to do something dangerous. He told me that you were not eating, not talking and probably not sleeping. Your mother is worried sick about you and Nate as well."

Michael nodded "I-I-" he tried to make words come out "I-"

Fi grinned and kissed him "We're no good at this."

He smiled for the first time in nine days and began to kiss her lips, her neck, everywhere savoring the fact that she was home to stay. Before they fell asleep much, much later that evening Fi looked at Michael and asked "Do you think Sam will be happy or sad that I'm back?"

Michael let out a laugh "I think he'll be happy I haven't gone and done something dangerous. Anyway even if he isn't I'm glad your back." And kissed her neck softly "I never knew how much I needed you." He whispered as they fell asleep.

Fi just smiled refusing to say out loud that she needed him as much as he needed her.

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So, there you go ladies and gentlemen, another story of Fi and Michael's endless rollercoaster relationship. As always Reviews are welcomed

AllOverTheWorld