Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gossip Girl, because if I did, none of the things I'm writing about would even be happening in the first place.

AN: Okay...this chapter was near impossible to write. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen, but I probably wrote about five versions of everything everyone said. I felt like I was just writing myself in circles with Chuck's thoughts, and ugh...hopefully the next one won't be as difficult, lol. This chapter was originally supposed to include more, but I felt like I should probably split it up. So as of now, this story is going to be five parts, plus an epilogue. Not exactly the short one I had in mind, but whatever. :)

Thank you to: xoxochuckandblairxoxo, ChairLoveK, chairlovforever, gleefulvall, awakeningezgi, Krazy4Spike, spottielight, HnM skinnys and HJiloveyou. Keep reviewing, guys. ;)

OBSTRUCTION. [ob. struct. tion.] noun. a thing that impedes or prevents passage or progress; an obstacle or blockage. ie; changing who you are requires blocking out all of yourself.

Serena reached into the closet, yanking out two dresses on wooden hangers. "So, what do you think? Should I go with the Marc Jacobs or the Dior?" She waved the two dresses in front of her, standing in front of the mirror and holding them up to her silk-robe-clad body. Blair, who had uncharacteristically gotten ready more quickly, was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, fiddling with a glass of champagne. "I mean, the Marc Jacobs is more revealing…"

The girls were getting ready for a party that Serena was throwing to celebrate the end of summer. Or the beginning of fall. Or something. Or nothing, really. It was more of an excuse for them to dress up and have some drinks with some of the cute guys they'd met during their summer abroad. But Blair's mind wasn't exactly on French boys. There was another one in particular that she was ruminating over.

Serena giggled and looked back at the mirror, contrasting the floating layers of light green fabric of one dress with the glittery black draping of the other. She sighed, indecisive. "Maybe I shouldn't wear a dress at all…" she yanked open the closet door again and began sorting through the racks of pants, pulling out a pair of J. Brand jeans and then some black silk Chanel shorts.

Blair tapped her freshly manicured fingernails against the rim of her glass impatiently. "Come on, S, can we just go already? You're hosting this party, and I don't think the people at it are going to think any more highly of Americans if we show up two hours late."

Serena sighed again, more heavily this time, and threw the clothes she had been pulling out onto the impeccably made bed. "Relax, B. It's only five o'clock. Besides, this is usually your favorite part of the night. What's gotten into you?" She bent down and began to look through the shoes on the floor, lined up like little soldiers from flats to platform wedges.

Blair honestly wasn't sure. She had no idea why seeing Chuck earlier had left her with such an unsettled feeling, and she still wasn't sure if she should even mention it to Serena. She knew she wouldn't approve of the fact that her heart had raced as soon as she'd caught his eyes, the way she'd spent the better part of her afternoon trying not to think about how he'd looked different. His clothes, the way he was limping, the look in his eyes, like he was lost and waiting for something. Waiting for her…

"Serena, Chuck's here." She blurted out, the words falling out of her mouth in a frantic accident. She inwardly cursed as soon as she said them, physically bracing herself for the inevitable reaction. Blair Waldorf could take anyone, but the particular subject of Chuck made her feel weak. And she hated herself for it, because she was supposed to hate him. She did hate him. Or at least, she tried to. But that didn't mean she didn't care where he'd been, what he'd been doing, if he was okay. All of those things still mattered to her, even though they weren't together.

Serena finally turned her attention to Blair, standing up fully and shutting the closet door. A pair of velvet-covered Louboutins dangled from her fingers. She closed her eyes, like what she was about to say was going to be hard for her. "I know. I saw him…before I met up with you."

"What?" Blair snapped, standing up. "How? Were you ever going to tell me this?"

"Honestly, B, probably not." Serena crossed her arms and cocked one hip to the side, that defiant position that she always took on when she was being challenged. "A friend I made last summer told me that he saw him working in a café. Chuck. Working. Blair, I think this is just another one of his schemes. I don't want him to hurt you."

Blair shook her head, processing this information slowly. "He was working in a café." She let out a short, incredulous laugh, not sure yet whether to be amused or worried. "And the cane?"

Serena had turned her attention back to the dresses, and lifted up the sequined Marc Jacobs as she turned to look at Blair. "What?" She ran her fingers over the scratchy surface. "Maybe this is too much."

"He had a cane with him, S." Blair stood up, stomped over, snatched the dress from her friend's hand, and, throwing it on the bed, replaced it with the Dior. "What do you think happened?"

Serena shrugged as she made her way to the bathroom to change. "It's probably just another accessory. You know Chuck."

Yes, I do, and this isn't like him. Blair couldn't shake the thought from her head. Serena thought he was just messing around, but Blair had always had the never-fail ability to read a situation, and she wasn't sure that her best friend was right about what was going on with him. "Wait," Blair called out as Serena was about to shut the bathroom door. She reached down and dug her fingers into the soft blanket at the end of the bed, almost ashamed. "The girl with him…" She couldn't resist asking.

"His girlfriend." Serena shook her head, obviously not buying it. She shut the door, and Blair could hear her tossing her robe to the floor and slipping into the dress.

Ugh, that asshole! "Or at least someone pretending to be!" The comment sparked something in Blair. How could he have a girlfriend so fast? Was she really that easy to get over?

But she couldn't be. This had to be a game. It was always a game. "You're right, Serena. He's working as a waiter." Blair laughed, but it didn't reach her eyes. "That's not Chuck. He couldn't have changed that much."

Blair stood up straight and grabbed her champagne flute, taking a large, un-ladylike swig. But even the alcohol couldn't shake Blair's feeling that maybe the cane wasn't just an accessory, the girl was really his girlfriend, and she was wrong. Maybe Chuck had changed more than either of them could imagine.

But there was only one way to find out.

"Serena!" Blair called. "Invite Chuck to the party."

When Chuck and Eva reached his apartment, he pushed open the door and limped his way in, dropping his cane next to the couch and sitting down hard. Eva joined him, leaning close enough that he could smell the sweet orange notes of her perfume. He leaned back, trying to collect himself. "Listen, Eva…" he began, still not sure whether to lie or not. The old Chuck Bass wouldn't be sitting here doing this, because he would never have gotten himself into this situation. But the new Chuck Bass had, and the idea of dealing with it was completely foreign to him.

With a deep breath, Chuck tried to calm his nerves and carefully, awkwardly slid an arm around Eva's narrow, silk-covered shoulders. He felt like maybe being sweet to her would make him seem like less of an ass. "I haven't exactly been honest with you."

Eva's eyes suddenly changed from bright and expectant to harder and darker, and he could feel her place her hand on the couch between them, trying to gain some distance. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Chuck looked down at his scuffed dress shoes resting on the cream-colored carpeting, and let his eyes spin around the small one-bedroom apartment. It was decorated simply, somewhat like his old suite at the Palace, only less luxurious and missing whatever it was that made that place seem like an escape. "I'm not really Charles Connors."

Eva stood up abruptly, letting his arm fall onto the couch with a soft thud. Her eyes were flashing with anger, but at least she was giving him a chance to explain. "What?"

Chuck signed, and the words came uncharacteristically fast. He hardly thought about them as they fell from his lips, and as he said each one, it felt like a brick had been lifted off of his shoulders. He hadn't realized what a guilty load he'd been carrying all summer, and to have finally told what he'd been hiding made him feel lighter.

But Eva wasn't sharing that same reaction. Somewhere in during his monologue about Chuck Bass, about Serena, about Blair, about everything, she had turned and was now staring out a window on the opposite wall, her arms folded across her chest. She was angry, Chuck realized, and he'd never seen her angry. It was almost embarassing how clueless this "new start" had left him. It seemed like in every moment he was faced with some sort of situation in which he didn't know what to do.

He stood up and walked to her as best as he could, laying a large hand on her shoulder. She spun around to face him, her hair flying. "Why did you lie to me?"

Chuck shook his head, staring once again at the floor. He was off the rug that the furniture rested on, and underneath his shoes now was scratched old wood. "I don't know. I guess I wanted to be someone else. Things were hard, and I was just…messing up everyone's lives. None of them deserve that."

"And you think change from that person who you used to be is achieved when you pretend you're someone you're not, yes?" Eva's gaze was challenging, and it was odd seeing that expression on the face of a girl who had only ever been kind to him, helping when he was struggling from his injury, allowing him to hold her when he didn't feel like talking. If he was someone else, maybe he could be happy like this.

"No, Eva, I don't." Chuck sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I just need you to forgive me." He was suddenly overcome with desperation to keep her. She was the only thing that proved significant progress, the girl that proved that he'd altered himself, at least in some small way. "Please?" he managed, even though it was a word he rarely uttered. "I want to be with you."

Eva continued to look at him, her face slightly softened but still untrusting. She allowed Chuck to step towards her and move a lock of blonde hair away from her eyes, although his hands were trembling slightly. "Really? Are you sure you don't want to be with that other girl? Blair is her name?"

Chuck felt like he'd been punched, and he yanked his hand away from her face. Of course he wanted to be with Blair. He'd never wanted anything more. Being away from her for so long had made that desire even stronger. But being with Blair would mean going back to being that old Chuck Bass that ruined everything he touched, so all he said was "no."

Serena pushed open the bathroom door and poked out her blonde head. The soft waves of her slightly messy hair fell over her shoulders, and she was clad in the flouncy Chanel dress, red lipstick and a disapproving look. "B, do you really think it's a good idea to get involved with Chuck again?"

"I'm not getting involved with him, Serena!" Blair sighed, frustrated. All it was was that after their encounter this afternoon, she had a desperate urge to speak to him, to look at him even once, to see why he seemed so different and yet entirely the same, see why he apparently hadn't gone home and wasn't planning to. "Just please invite him, okay?"

Serena ran her fingers through her hair and reached for the hot curling iron that was sitting on the vanity table, twirling a few curls into her thick mane. "I really don't think that's a good idea."

"I can play the game too, S." Blair smirked, and Serena rolled her eyes.

"Blair…"

"Serena." Blair grabbed the hotel phone from where it was sitting on the cluttered bedside table and held it out to Serena, stretching the cord to reach her. "Can you just try to reach him?"

"I have his number," Serena sighed, taking the phone. "I got it from the manager at the restaurant where he was working, just in case." She grabbed the large framed satchel that she'd been carrying that day and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper, looking at down at the quickly scrawled digits as she dialed.

Blair nodded, suddenly a bit uneasy at the idea of hearing his voice or even having someone talk to him where she could hear. Her heart thumped and she managed to to gasp, "Why did you want to talk to him, anyway?"

Serena held the phone to her ear, and Blair gulped down the rest of her champagne. "To tell him to stay away from you."

Blair set her glass down hard, almost cracking the stem. Normally she would feel supported from Serena's interference, and lucky that she had a friend that cared so much, but right now she couldn't help but be annoyed. As much as it shouldn't be, Chuck staying away was the last thing she wanted.

Across the room, Chuck heard his cell phone ring from where it was sitting on the kitchen counter. His and Eva's eyes were still locked when he heard the familiar tone, and at its sound he turned away from her, almost grateful for the interruption. "One minute." Chuck grabbed his cane from where it was lying on the floor, and, leaning on it, stepped over to the tiled kitchen. He grabbed the phone and flipped it open, seeing that an unknown number was flashing on the screen.

"Hello?" Chuck leaned an arm onto the countertop, resting on his elbow and staring out one of the large windows that framed the dining area. His confusion about the phone call was answered instantly when he heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"Chuck. It's Serena." She spoke fast and plainly, and there was complete silence in the background. "Blair asked me to call you."

Chuck glanced cautiously at Eva across the room. Even hearing her name made his heart speed up and his hands shake. "Wait, Blair asked you?" He said it in a whisper, both because of Eva and because of the fact that his voice was trembling almost as much as the rest of him.

"Yes." Chuck heard Serena sigh on the other end of the line. "I'm hosting a party tonight, just a sort of end-of-summer thing at this guy's apartment. And Blair wants you to come, God knows why."

Chuck almost choked. He felt nauseous at the idea of seeing her, yet incredibly excited too. It had been so long since he'd even spoken to her, heard her voice…seen her up close, every bit of her. God, he wished he could see every bit of her again. But even though he couldn't, Chuck couldn't resist. "Okay," he said, without even thinking about it. He could barely concentrate as he scrawled down the address that Serena relayed to him before hanging up with another loud sigh.

As he stared down at the paper, Eva caught his eye from across the room, and he was almost ashamed at the thoughts that had just been running through his head. He walked over to her slowly, clutching the paper, and looked her in the eyes.

Eva had taken a seat, perching on the arm of a chair. Her arms were still crossed, and the look on her face was slightly disappointed. "Blair again?"

Chuck exhaled. As much as he didn't want to hurt someone who had only ever been sympathic to him (not that he hadn't before, but he'd always horribly regretted it), he, again, didn't know what to do. Was this a sign that he should give up this trying to be new and go back to the familiarity and comfort of his old life, even though he'd left it incredibly jumbled? Should he stay with this attempted new start and these new, albeit different, things?

A compromise, Chuck decided, was best. So he spoke gently. "No, it was my stepsister." It felt unfamiliar to say that, having not spoken about his family or makeshift one with Eva at all until this afternoon. "She invited me to a party, and I'd like you to come."

Eva's glittering eyes were still distrusting, and she straightened out her pencil skirt before looking at him. "I don't know, Charles." The name rolled off her tongue from familiarity. "Chuck. You still lied to me, and for a long time. I don't know you."

"You can get to," Chuck insisted. "Just please come with me. I'll send a car for you in an hour." God, that felt so good to say. I'll send a car. But Eva didn't sound so excited about that phrase. In fact, she looked absolutely resentful of it. But still, as she picked up her bag and turned for the door, he could hear a "fine" slip from between her lips, and he was satisfied.

Sitting down, Chuck sighed, letting his nerves take over. They made him feel too restless to sit, so he limped into the small bedroom closet and pulled out the suitcase of his old clothes that he'd neglected all summer long. Pulling out a luxurious, perfectly tailored brown suit, Chuck held it to his body and let his first true smile grace his lips. He wasn't entirely sure why he was doing this. The whole point of being someone else was to help him move on from everything, all the troubles and lonliness of his whole life. And it seemed like he was throwing it all away now, like he'd thrown it away the second he'd confessed to Eva.

Chuck slipped off his vest to try on the brown suit jacket. He'd just try it out, he decided. If things were still as horrible as they had been before, if everyone still hated him and no one cared and being Chuck Bass still made him do horrible things, he could leave it again. He could put away the suit and stay in the apartment and go to work on Monday and devote himself to Eva. The idea made him both sad and angry, but he had no choice. The secret was out. The old Chuck Bass wasn't who he wanted to be, but he was afraid it wouldn't work to just be a new version of him. Everyone would still detest that person. But if they did, all he had to do was disappear again, back to here, back to this. It wouldn't matter, he had nothing to lose.

AN: Well, there it is, lol. I felt like if I didn't put this chapter up now, I would just keep editing and editing and never move on, so ta-da. I would like any feedback that you have, especially having to do with how I'm portraying Chuck's thoughts about the whole situation, because my mind is completely screwed up about that. But then again, I just saw Inception and my mind is kind of screwed up in general right now...lol. But yeah, please tell me anything you have to say about how I'm portraying how he feels. And anything you have to say at all. :) Please review! Thanks guys!