Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gossip Girl, because if I did, none of the things I'm writing about would eve be happening in the first place.
AN: I'm SO SO SO sorry this took such a long time. It was partly because there was going to be another really long scene on the end of this, and I wanted it to be perfect, for reasons you'll see after you read this...so it was taking me forever. Plus, like I said in my author's note, my computer was in repairs and then I was on vacation, so...yep. They'll be another chapter out within the week, for sure. So enjoy! :)
Thank you to: xoxochuckandblairxoxo, Chairforever, Krazy4Spike, SaturnineSunshine, HnM skinnys, ChairLoveK and awakeningezgi for reviewing ch. 3 and JuseaPeterson for reviewing ch. 1 and ch. 2. Thanks so much, you guys. :) Keep reading and reviewing!
OBSTRUCTION. [ob. struc. tion.] noun. a thing that impedes or prevents passage or progress; an obstacle or blockage. ie; you can never stop yourself from feeling.
The party was bustling by the time Serena and Blair arrived. The apartment was beautifully decorated, covered in effortless, luxurious fabrics and furniture, and full of people dressed in gorgeous designer vintage. Wide French doors were flung open to the early evening light, revealing an intimate balcony that looked out onto the city below and similarly elegantly crumbling buildings straight ahead. Although it was still somewhat early and the summer light would last for another hour at least, people were drinking and dancing as if it was two o'clock in the morning.
The girls entered with arms linked, the soft ruffles of Serena's green dress standing out against the glittery swirls of Blair's cream-colored one. As half the guys in the room stared admiringly at the girls, and the other half tried not to as they had their arms wrapped around jealous girlfriends, Serena and Blair headed for the bar. As they settled themselves on the high stools and were immediately handed two martinis, one of the appreciative guys came over and in French-accented English asked Serena for a dance. Blair rolled her eyes as she left, rubbing her thumb along the rim of her glass and glancing around the room as she waited.
Chuck drove up to Eva's apartment at exactly six o'clock, relishing in the comfort of the backseat of the car he'd called. It wasn't exactly on the same level as his limo – the sides of the seats were slightly torn from constant use and the outside wasn't as well-shined as he might have liked – but the air-conditioning was cold and it certainly beat limping down the sidewalks, especially since he was wearing the brown suit that he'd picked out and an unworn new tie.
Eva was waiting outside the simple building, dressed in an equally simple but beautiful light pink silk blouse and high-waisted little floral skirt. He didn't have the heart to mention that most people at the party would likely be dressed to the nines and she would definitely stick out, because it didn't honestly matter to him. The point was she was his new girlfriend, no matter what she was wearing, and that was what he had to prove.
Chuck stepped out of the car and walked around to her, liking the look in her eyes as she appraised his suit, tie and clean dress shoes. He felt powerful again for a second, like the old Chuck Bass that could easily charm anyone from a beautiful women to a roomful of old, grouchy businessmen. But the feeling quickly faded when he realized Eva's eyes were still cold. She was glaring at him slightly as she clutched a worn tan leather bag close to her.
"I don't know about this, Chuck," she remarked, eying the car and white-gloved driver distrustfully.
"Come on, just give it a chance." Chuck held out his hand, and she hesistated before taking it. He gently nudged her in the direction of the open door, and she sighed heavily, as if getting into the car would be going against some sort of moral obligation of hers. Chuck could help but be a bit annoyed with her judging, but he softened his voice enough to coax her into the leather-covered backseat, where they sat slightly awkwardly for the duration of the ride. Chuck drummed his fingers on the window nervously, anticipating a close view of Blair and perhaps even a conversation, more than he'd hoped for anything all summer.
But when he arrived at the party and stepped out of the elevator, the apartment was so thickly crowded with people, antique furniture and overturned drinks that he couldn't even catch a glimpse of her. He turned his head in all directions, trying to search subtly, but with Eva on his arm and looking at him quizzically, he couldn't exactly gawk at everyone in view. Suddenly, the crowd cleared a bit and Chuck saw Serena perched at the bar, sipping a colorful drink and flirting madly with a scruffy, dark-haired guy.
"Uh…" Chuck looked down at Eva and then back at Serena ahead of him. She would know where Blair was. "Why don't we go get a drink?"
Eva nodded, seemingly leaning into him a bit despite herself. He steered them over to the bar, and they both slid onto the seats. Chuck ordered a scotch for himself, almost excited to taste the familiar liquid after neglecting it for the past couple of months, and Eva agreed to a glass of champagne. Serena's back was towards him, but as soon as Eva was distracted with her drink, he elbowed her lightly. This caused her to turn around angrily, her loose curls hitting him in the face. "Hey, excuse me – oh, it's you." The look on her face was one of disgust.
Chuck leaned in close. "Do you know where Blair is?" He let his caramel eyes flick around the room for what felt like the thousandth time.
Serena sighed, turning back to her tortured-artist type. She tilted her head in the direction of the floor-to-ceiling windows opposite them, where Blair was chatting up her own guy, a drink in hand and a pretty, coquettish smile on her face. Chuck felt his heart thud to a stop when he looked at her, with her dress glowing in the deepening twilight, her hair swept back in regal curls, and a light sheen of a summer tan on her bare shoulders. But it started up a slow, sad beat when he realized the guy next to her, probably closer than he'd ever be again. It made him miserable, because she could be happy alone, she could be happy with herself, with being herself, with being with other people. He only experienced that kind of bliss when he was with her.
Chuck sighed, unable to keep the corners of his mouth from turning down a little as he rotated back around and glowered at his drink. "Of course."
Eva reached over the hand that wasn't holding her champagne and slid it into his absentmindedly. It must have felt natural to her, to hold onto him like that, but for Chuck it just felt strange. But he didn't move, because now there was nowhere for him to go.
The night dragged on slowly for both Chuck and Eva as they continued to sit at the bar. Chuck nursed drink after drink, attempting to get inebriated for the first time since that night in Prague, to ignore what was happening to him and around him. He had no idea who he was anymore, and Blair…Blair knew who she was, and that person wanted to be with someone else. This thought made him feel like brooding, so that's what he did feeling the familiar burn of the scotch sliding down his throat over and over again as Eva sat next to him. She seemed equally as miserable, staring into her empty champagne glance and hardly glancing at the party in full swing around them, and finally she stood up.
"I'm not going to do this anymore, okay?" Eva swung her brown leather purse over her shoulder and adjusted her blouse, preparing to leave. "You're preocuppied with that girl Blair."
Chuck set down his glass and clenched his jaw, turning to Eva and trying not to growl out his next words. "Blair has nothing to do with this."
Eva shook her head sadly. "She does. You understand, yes?"
Chuck nodded slowly, studying her face to gauge her emotions. He couldn't; she seemed perfectly cool and collected, although he imagined she was probably raging somewhere deep inside. How did he always end up hurting everyone he cared about, everyone he associated with? It was like he was cursed, or something. Untouchable.
Eva turned to go, but paused to finish. "This isn't my world. But it's yours, and it's hers. And I don't want to be caught in some sort of love triangle."
Chuck stood up too, shaking his head. "It wouldn't be, Eva. I'd try…" he grasped for words, but his angry and intoxicated mind couldn't come up with any, so he just reached for her hands. He couldn't lose this. What would happen now? Now there was no pretense, no act. He'd changed, but not really. Chuck Bass was still Chuck Bass, and he hated that person.
Eva smiled, and Chuck was confused as to why she seemed so settled. "I know you would, Chuck. You have. But you haven't tried hard enough, not completely." She slid Chuck's hands off of hers and reached into her bag, pulling out a hotel room key card. She pressed it into his palm. "If you want to try again."
Chuck stared after her, beweildered, as she weaved her way through the dancing, drinking, laughing cloud of guys in starched shirts and girls in pastel and floral summer dresses. He slid back up into his seat, set down the key card, propped up his elbows and leaned his forehead over his closed fists, raising only one finger to signal for another drink.
With a sigh, Blair politely excused herself from her conversation. The guy that was flirting with her, Ben (she couldn't help but remember another Ben who had offered to escort her onto the Bass helicopter years ago) was good-looking, but he was coming on a bit strong, calling her "the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen" and offering to buy her drink after drink. But she was too distracted to hook up with anyone tonight, even if she'd been that kind of girl.
Blair set down her drink on a nearby glass-topped table, looking out the large windows at the gorgeously-colored sunset they framed. Pushing through a crowd of gyrating couples, Blair managed to make it out onto the empty balcony. She breathed in the warm summer night air and took in the swirling pinks and purples of the lowering sun, pondering where Chuck might be. A slight breeze ruffled her hair, and she wondered if he'd even come. Maybe he had, but he was too distracted by his new girlfriend to care where she was. Or worse, she'd tempted him away with her probably beautiful, lilting French accent, and they were having a romantic night alone together.
With another low, slow sigh, Blair picked up her curls, piling them on top of her head and then letting them fall slowly. She leaned an elbow on the wrought-iron railing and let her eyes scan the darkening city, waiting for something and nothing.
Chuck couldn't help watching her, now that she was free from the clutches of her hopeful random. He unabashedly glanced over his shoulder, seeing when she lifted up her curls to cool off, revealing the nape of her neck, his ultimate weakness. He saw her turn and lean her lower back against the railing, rumpling her dress to scan the room as his heart raced. He saw her looking out at the now-dark glowing city and wondered what she was thinking. He wished he could go to her and hold her again, just for a moment.
He couldn't, though, because it was obvious that she'd just invited him here to throw whatever guys she'd moved on to in his face. He knew he'd hurt her. It was hard to stop thinking about, and it was obvious she wasn't going to let him. But now that things with Eva were questionably over, or at least on hold…as much as it disproved everything he'd been trying to do all summer…it was hard to resist the fact that the image of her in a soft dress, framed by the Parisian skyline, was one of the most beautiful, sensual sights he'd ever seen.
Suddenly, Chuck heard someone slide into the now-empty seat next to him. He turned slowly to them and realized he was face to face with Serena. But, oddly enough, her face was more gentle than it had been each time he'd seen her here. She looked regretful and remorseful, but Chuck just stared back at his half-full glass of scotch (he'd had so many that he'd lost count of numbers), swirling it around on the table and watching the amber liquid turn.
"I'm really sorry, Chuck." Serena said after a moment, and Chuck looked at her with surprise.
"You're sorry?" Chuck couldn't help barking out the words incredulously, and his mouth turned up at the corners in a familiar smirk. "What for, exactly?"
"For acting like a total bitch today." Serena laughed, shaking out her long blonde mane, and then stopped with a long sigh. "I didn't come to see you just because of Blair."
"Oh." Chuck tapped his fingers on the table, unable to keep the anxiety out of his posture. "Why, then?"
Serena shrugged, the strap of her dress sliding off of one tanned shoulder. It was ripped and rumpled from dancing, her usual imperfect perfection. "I was worried, Chuck." She said this softly, carefully. "We all were. We didn't know if you were hurt or sick or where you'd gone. And when I heard that you were in Paris…I thought maybe I could figure out why you'd never called, not even Nate."
Chuck felt slightly warm, but attributed it to the jacket he was wearing despite the heat instead of the slight redness that was spreading across his cheeks at hearing that they cared. Despite his being "Chuck Bass" and breaking hearts and ruining lives, including his own, there were people out there that still had his back. He'd never felt anything so nice.
"And it looks like you didn't escape unharmed after all…" Serena glanced pointedly at the cane that was leaning against the side of the bar and back at Chuck, a slight touch of distress in her eyes. "What happened to you?"
Chuck gingerly turned around on his stool, avoiding her gaze. It wasn't that it mattered who he told, anyone with eyes could see by the way that he carried himself that he wasn't in perfect health, but telling someone that knew him so well that he'd almost died just felt so personal. Too much had happened tonight, he wasn't sure he could handle a confessional right now.
So instead, he found himself watching Blair again. He saw the moonlight and the city lamps glowing off of her lightly bronzed skin, and the jeweled necklace she was wearing sparkling as well. She turned her head to the side and he was just able to see her picturesque profile – sharp and soft and daunting and ethereally gorgeous all at once.
Serena followed his dark eyes to where they gazed out onto the balcony. She glanced at him out of the corner of hers, seeing the way he seemed entranced in Blair and the way that simply looking at her could make him strangely, unusually flustered. "You still want her, don't you?"
Chuck choked and ripped his eyes away from the sight ahead of him. "What?"
"Blair. You still care about her." Serena studied him, cocking her head to one side as if trying to gauge the range of emotions on his face.
Chuck turned back to the bar, abandoning his view for one of the clean marble tabletop and his crystal tumbler. "She…I…" Chuck pushed the glass away in a sudden fit of courage, looking right at Serena. "She said love makes everything simple. But this doesn't feel simple."
Serena's eyes widened slightly as she took in a truth that she already knew. "You love her. Even after…everything?"
Chuck nodded, looking back down to study the swirling colors on the top of the bar. He could hardly raise his eyes to look at her, fearing for what he might see in hers. If she told him after this to stay away from Blair, he would feel like he had to do it, or risk losing everything he supposedly still had back home.
"Wow." Serena turned away too, looking back at the champagne glass in her own hand. After a few beats of silence, she set it down. "You should go over there."
Chuck snorted out a laugh. "What?"
"Go over to Blair. She asked me to invite you here, and I don't know why, but I guess it means she wants to see you." Serena stood up, teetering a bit on her five-inch heels. "And you want to see her. So go." She gave him a slight nudge on the back with the heel of her hand, grinned, and then turned, spinning back into the crowd. Chuck stared after her. He could take her advice, or he could not. But he couldn't just sit here any longer, drinking glass after glass alone, so Chuck stood up, picked up his cane and pushed as best as he could through the throng of people, making his way towards towards the glowingly beautiful figure in the center of the balcony.
AN: So there it is. The Chuck and Blair scene will be coming very, very soon, I promise. It's mostly written already, I just want it to be right. :) So when that's done I'll update. Thanks guys, please review! :)