Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. She messed up the story when she made Jake imprint on Nessie. Fortunately for us there's always the world of fanfictions.

Author/Note: This is a Leah/Jacob story with all the normal pairings and the events in Breaking Dawn never happened, because just like my cousin said, Breaking Dawn shouldn't even be considered a book.

Translation to English of O Nosso Amanhecer 2. This version was subjected to a few changes from the original in Portuguese.

This translation was a request by harrypassion.

I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading and thanks the people who reviewed, harrypassion, She-Wolf Heiress, brankel1, Chick, Piper9004 and Jo Harv.

Alert: the characters in this story curse a lot.

Our Dawn

Part II

Leah Clearwater

5. Broken

Friday nights used to be fun in the past. I used to go out with my friends and have some fun. Sometimes I would just stay at home with my boyfriend and watch a decent movie. Well now I had no friends, no boyfriend and I had to patrol the Cullen's lands for free because Jacob wasn't man enough to ask Blondie and Big Foot to stop doing whatever they were doing at home and start patrolling their own territory.

Well, honestly I didn't actually blame the leeches. Irina was our problem, not theirs. They only helped us because Bella was always bitching about being Jacob's best friend and Doctor Cullen had actually agreed that it would benefit our treaty. Carlisle was their leader and what the leader says goes.

But since Bella and Edward were in Jacksonville visiting Renée and Phil, and Esme and Carlisle were in Boston to see how Emily was doing after the surgery, no one gave a damn for our problems anymore.

Rosalie and Emmett were always at home and we didn't see Alice and Jasper in a while. The pixie was acting strange lately. I mean stranger than before which was actually very frightening.

I phased only when I was near the border and met Jacob there. He had finished his patrol.

'You can go home kid I'll take it from here.'

'Actually I'm going to stay for a while and I'm not a kid.'

'I believe the deal was I helped you patrolling the leeches' territory so you could rest and Billy wouldn't need to worry so much about you.'

'I don't have classes tomorrow so I can stick around with you.'

'You're waiting for her to come back, aren't you?'

For crying out loud I could read his mind. He was expecting Bella. How sad was that? She was only gone for three days.

'I don't know if she's coming today or not.'

'You're a sucker Black. I really don't know how you can still do this.'

'Do what?'

'How can you be such a masochist?'

'I don't love her anymore.'

'Right…'

'I mean I love Bella but not like before.'

'So there's a switch that allowed you to stop loving her?'

'Of course not.'

'I really wish I could be like you. I mean if you don't love her anymore then you don't feel pain any longer and you'll be able to move forward but the thing is I don't see you going out with other girls. All you do is going back to the Cullens to check on her and that's really creepy.'

He snarled at me but I wasn't intimidated. He knew I was right. Whatever his relationship with Bella was now it sure wasn't healthy.

'I'm not like you Leah. I forgave Bella.'

'You forgave her?'

'Yes. I had to choose to be her enemy or to remain her friend. Although she's a Cold One I know that Bella would never hurt an innocent person and I believe she's still the same. I'm aware that she'll never be my Bella again and I understand that but I really want to protect this treaty.'

I was surprised. He was able to forgive Bella for choosing Edward over him. I didn't know how he managed to do that. I wasn't even capable of having a decent conversation with Sam or even Emily and Jacob had this weird relationship with Bella and the mind rapist based on a friendship that in my case had turned into pure hate.

'You can do the same, Leah. You just need to try.'

'Easy to talk.'

For a moment I thought about my last encounter with Sam. How was I supposed to forget about Sam when I was constantly around him?

'He wanted to have lunch with you?'

Jacob was surprised to see that Sam had tried to get close to me.

'Nothing happened Jacob. I left him there…I'm not a slut.'

'I didn't say you were a slut. I'm just…Sam shouldn't have done that.'

Exactly. I mean I was trying to recover and Sam was inviting me for lunch? Seriously, I was confused…I mean I still had feelings for him and he was just making everything worse for me. But I would never do anything behind Emily's back.

'Do you want me to have a word with him?'

Jacob really had some sort of "knight in the shinning armour" complex.

'No. I can handle it.'

In that moment we both felt the stench. There were two leeches around. Jacob stopped as soon as he heard Bella's voice. I was right he was waiting for her to come back.

"Hey there…" Bella greeted. "Can you phase back?"

Jacob and I took different directions and we joined them after getting dressed.

"Hey Bella…how's your mother?" Jacob asked.

She frowned.

"Renée's having some troubles to accept what Bella became." Edward explained.

"Can you blame her?" I asked.

"Leah!" Jacob warned.

"What? Come on…she's a vampire. Her mother didn't even dream about such monsters existing. She freaked out…That's what normal people do…"

"She even got a job to have her mind focused on something else." Bella announced with a sad look.

"That's good, right?" Jacob tried to cheer her up. "You were always saying that she needed to be responsible and independent…"

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. These little encounters with the leeches were easily becoming a gossip meeting.

"Alice and Jasper are coming back tomorrow. They have news." Bella announced. I guess she didn't want to talk about her mother anymore. At least Renée didn't die when she learned the truth. I wasn't that lucky.

"It wasn't your fault." The mind rapist said. I didn't answer back because I really didn't want to show them how I was feeling. I was always touchy when people spoke of my father's death.

Jacob and Bella looked at us but they decided not to comment.

"Where are Alice and Jasper anyways?" Jacob asked.

"In Alaska. They went to talk to the Denali." Edward answered. "As soon as they arrive we'll call you for a brief meeting, ok?"

Jacob nodded in agreement.

"By the way…I know you haven't tried your dress yet." Bella turned to me.

"So?" I asked.

"Sue's wedding is in ten days, we want you to tell us if you like the dress or not."

"I'll think about it."

"We'll patrol our lands from now on, Jake." Bella said. "You two can go home."

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow." Jacob said and we left quietly.

I turned back a few times and saw Bella and Edward kissing. I had the feeling they wouldn't patrol much. Actually there were more interesting things to do in the forest at night instead of patrolling our lands from north to south.

Jacob was walking ahead of me and I knew he could still hear Bella and Edward kissing, so I decided to lighten up his mood. It had been raining all week and the ground was covered in mud so I grabbed a hand full of it and hit Jacob right in the head.

He froze on the spot and I cracked down laughing. When he realised what happened I thought he was going to phase right there and rip my head off but he turned around slowly and glared.

"What the hell was that Clearwater?" He asked walking towards me. I was still laughing.

"I'm…sorry…I don't know what came to me." I was being honest. Usually I didn't act like a ten year old kid, but I had this urge to throw him a mud ball.

He kept looking at me before he grabbed a hand full of mud too and he smashed it on the top of my head. It was now his turn to laugh.

"Asshole…"

"You started it." He accused and turned around to leave. I stretched my left leg making him trip over. He was going down. But Jacob was really fast. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down with him. We rolled in the mud and every time one of us tried to get up we would either slip thus falling again or grab each other preventing the other to leave.

"Let me go you stupid asshole." I tried to push him away from me but his arms were too strong.

"No way. You let me go first."

I was also holding him by his waistband because he was now on his knees and I couldn't let him get away with this.

I pulled him harder and he fell on top of me. He was heavy like hell.

"You're suffocating me." I whined.

"It was your fault."

He wasn't budging and I was hardly breathing.

"Jacob! Roll over damn it!"

"Fine."

He did what I ask but he took me with him. I landed face first right on his chest.

"What the hell are you doing Leah?"

"My dress is stuck on your belt."

Why the hell was he wearing a belt? He started pulling my dress but I shoved his hands away.

"Easy you idiot. You're going to ruin it if you keep doing that."

"Stop whining. Let me take it out."

"No. I'll do it. Just pull slowly…while I try to…"

That's when we heard footsteps coming in our direction. I actually thought that maybe Bella or Edward had heard our yelling but who was standing right in front of us was Sam Uley.

"What the hell are you two doing?" He asked.

I must admit that we were in a very compromising position. Jacob was lying on the ground, one hand was on my hip and the other was trying to free my dress from his belt. I was sitting down on top of him my legs were one on each side of his body and both of my hands on his belt preventing him to rip my dress completely.

"We're having sex in the forest at God knows what hours in the fucking morning Sam. What does it look like we're doing?" I asked with a sarcastic tone.

Jacob pushed me off of him, ripping my dress on the process and met Sam's glare.

"What about you Sam? What are you doing here?" Jacob asked.

"I…can't sleep."

My heart sank when I noticed the black marks under his eyes. So that's what Emily's absence was doing to him? I wondered if he was eating as well because he probably hadn't slept since she left to Boston.

The thought of Sam missing Emily that much made me want to throw up. I would never feel that way and no one would ever feel that way about me.

"Leah, go home." Jacob said. It wasn't an alpha command but I sensed urgency in his voice.

"Why?"

"Because I'm asking you to go and because I want to talk to Sam…alone."

It was my time to glare. I was filthy, my dress was ruined and I was starting to feel hungry and damn tired but I hated to be ordered like that.

"Fine…And you owe me a new dress…Fucking asshole."

When I was leaving I heard Sam questioning Jacob about what we were doing alone on the forest at night. Jacob told him the truth. It would be funny if he had caught us having sex. I bet he wouldn't sleep for years and he would probably never think about his precious Emily.

What the hell? I had just thought about having sex with Jacob to upset Sam. That was gross and wrong. Really wrong. I needed a nice cold shower to clear my mind of those disturbing thoughts right now.

xxxxxxxxxx

Some days were better than others. My job was good and not too pushy. The patrols were now easier to tolerate since Bella, Edward, Alice and Jasper were back. Rosalie and Emmett were helping again and we were now eighteen wolves on the pack on the verge of becoming twenty one. Three more kids would phase until the end of next month.

I had been keeping Jacob a company every time he was fixing my car. I needed to learn the some stuff about cars if I was going to drive frequently. He was actually a good teacher. I wanted to ask him what he and Sam had talked about the night Sam found us in the forest but I didn't have the courage. Instead I asked him what Alice had learned while she was visiting the Denali coven.

"Irina's isn't recruiting newborns." Jacob said. "At least that's what her family think."

"That's a relief."

"But they believe she's searching for other vampires…really strong ones."

"That's not good."

"That's probably why Jason, Rick and Denis are going to phase soon."

"I hope it stops…at this rate all the kids will phase. I didn't even know so many families had the gene."

"Neither did I. But it's been four generations since the last pack." Jacob sighed. He didn't like the fact that so many kids were being dragged into this mess.

I was a bit disappointed because so far I was still the only female woman on the pack. It would be easier for me if some other girl had the gene as well.

"Why the hell can't we go to your garage, Jacob? It's going to rain any minute."

"Because I don't want to go there. I can fix it here."

"But…Oh…wait…you're hiding something in there, aren't you?"

"No, of course not."

"Yes, you are."

I walked away from him and went to the stupid garage Jacob had built a few years ago.

"Is it drugs? Drinks? A girl?"

That's when it hit me. Jacob used to spend time with Bella in that smelly place. They would stay there for hours while he was fixing the bikes and that was why he didn't want to go in there. My car used to remind me of the good times I'd spent with my father and that garage was full of memories of Bella when she was human and when Jacob thought she would love him. It was basically the same. I hadn't touched the car since my father died and he didn't want to be in the garage because Bella was no longer human.

My heart rate increased when I realised he was being a stupid hypocrite. I was really pissed off. He used to criticise me about not being able to forget about Sam, and now he didn't want to be in that stupid place because it reminded him of his precious Bella.

I put my hand on the door to open it but he moved fast and grabbed it.

"Private property Leah. Sorry."

"Fucking hypocrite." I spat.

"What?"

"You can't go inside because you miss your girlfriend, right?"

"It's not that."

"Yes, it is Jacob. Don't give me this bullshit. You're as broken as I am."

"No. I've moved on."

"The hell you did. You keep saying that you don't love her anymore and yet you can't even work in your garage anymore…"

"I can't love her!" He half yelled. "She's a vampire…I can't love her."

"It still hurts, doesn't it?"

He nodded.

I pushed him away softly and opened the door. This time he didn't stop me.

"Go get my car." I ordered.

A few minutes later he finally started working properly, without breathing a word to me. I guess he was angry because I had forced him to do something he didn't want to do, but it was for his own sake.

Him pinning over Bella was as wrong as me pinning over Sam. We were on the same boat.

"I'm trying to help you." I said in a low voice.

He didn't answer.

"If I have to face my own demons, you need to do the same." I added.

"I know…" He whispered.

xxxxxxxxxx

It wasn't easy to be with Jacob Black. We used to talk for a while and then out of the blue we'd started yelling at each other. I guess we would always be like that. He was young, immature and hot headed. I was a bit older, bitter and hot headed. It was an explosive combination.

Still, it was better to spend time with him than to be at my house while Alice and Bella were there helping my mother and trying to convince me to try my emerald green dress. It was weird to think that the next day Bella Cullen and I would be stepsisters.

At that moment Jacob and I had already passed our argument routine and he was checking the motor while I was in the car trying to get the radio to work.

"Stupid thing! I can't believe this shit is broken." I said hitting all of the buttons furiously. I didn't have any more money to buy a new radio.

"Stop doing that. You're not helping." Jacob said joining me.

"Why is it broken?"

"Things break, you know?"

"Well…I guess things are just like people…like me."

I never meant to say that out loud.

"Just leave it. I'll fix it later."

"You can't fix everything."

He looked at me with that pity look I hated so much.

"For fuck sake…I don't need your pity Black."

Jacob grabbed my arm preventing me from getting out of the car.

"I thought you had accepted Charlie."

"I did."

"What's the problem then? Why are you acting and saying things like this?"

"I'm sorry for not being a leech lover like you and my brother."

"They're not so bad…except for the smell."

"I'm going to be related to them Jacob. How ironic is that?"

"I guess it's a bit weird but you've been through a lot worse, Leah. You're strong enough to deal with this."

"Maybe…"

"You need to try. If you could just act differently it would be much easier for you."

"What's the point in doing that? I won't be happier."

"You don't know that. You could actually have more friends."

"I don't need friends besides, who would want to be friends with me? I'm a bitter harpy…I'm a bitch and I hurt people."

"Not all of us think that way."

"Well Seth is my brother, he doesn't count."

"I don't think that way."

"Stop trying to be nice to me Jacob. This is not your responsibility. You're the alpha but you don't have to pretend to like me just because you want me to feel better. I'm broken and that's it. I don't care what you all think of me."

I pulled my arm out of his reach and left the car but he followed me outside. The sun was already down.

"You're not broken Leah." He said.

"Yes, I am. I'm a good for nothing bitch who couldn't even make her boyfriend stay with her. My cousin was actually a better choice for him than me. I'm pathetic."

I turned my face around and waited for him to start his usual talk about Bella leaving him for a vampire. We were constantly comparing our sad stories to see who had suffered the most. But he didn't do that. Not this time.

"You're not a bitch. You act like that to conceal the pain. You use it as a mask but you should just take it out because there are people who care about you."

I wasn't expecting that sort of speech. At least not from him and I guess those words made me go soft all of the sudden.

"I'll never be happy Jacob. I'll never have what you and the others will. I won't find my soul mate and I won't even be able to have a family of my own. I'll be a harpy forever and I'll be tied to the bloodsuckers for all eternity…"

"You don't know that for sure, Leah."

I shrugged.

"Maybe I deserve it all. I guess I have to pay for all the suffering I caused."

Jacob took a step towards me when my tears started rolling down my cheek. He was about to hug me when Billy came out. We backed off quickly.

"Do you want to have dinner with us Leah?" Billy asked not noticing my state.

"No, thank you Billy. I'm going home now."

I walked away as fast as I could. I was angry at myself because I had showed Jacob my true feelings. Now he knew how messed up I really was. How weak I always had been. I didn't want anyone's pity. All I needed was to go away from that place and start over. I was going to stick with my initial plan. Once the mess with Irina was settled I would disappear from La Push, for good.

I know I should be studying but I needed a break from the French Revolution...I'm going back to study now...Next update will be on 16th or 17th of July.