Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. She messed up the story when she made Jake imprint on Nessie. Fortunately for us there's always the world of fanfictions.

Author/Note: This is a Leah/Jacob story with all the normal pairings and the events in Breaking Dawn never happened, because just like my cousin said, Breaking Dawn shouldn't even be considered a book.

Translation to English of O Nosso Amanhecer 2. This version was subjected to a few changes from the original in Portuguese.

This translation was a request by FantasyLover74.

I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading and thanks the people who reviewed, FantasyLover74, She-Wolf Heiress, brankel1, Chick, Piper9004, Jo Harv, JacobLeah, CallyGreen, Mariaxxx, RobertForLife, Darkmaster of the arts, BenitaxoxoCastiel, mehr03, AllieBlack16, ItsCuzOfTheFame.

Alert: the characters in this story curse a lot.

Our Dawn

Part II

Leah Clearwater

11. Feelings

I was being too optimistic about leaving the party. I should've known that one way or another I would have to confront one of the two people I really didn't want to talk to. Sam was waiting for me next to Jacob's car and I had no way to avoid him.

"You said you wouldn't come." his voice sounded disturbed as if I had done a huge mistake.

"I needed to come. I didn't do it to hurt you I came here because I had to."

"Do you know how hard it was for me to see you there?"

It was amazing how Sam could make everything evolve around him and his pain about leaving me. I knew well enough that the three of us had suffered with this situation, each one from different motives. I was the rejected one. Sam felt guilty for hurting me and Emily felt guilty for stealing my boyfriend.

"It wasn't hard just for you Sam. Did you ask me or Emily how we feel?"

He didn't answer.

"Look…I always knew this would happen eventually. You love Emily and she loves you. It hurts but now that you're married there's no turning back. You are going to live your life and I need you to step out of my way and let me live mine."

"And what will you do? Try to fight vampires on your own to get yourself killed?"

"That's none of your business. I'll do what I want to do."

"You're not trying hard enough Leah. You keep pushing people away from you and if you continue this you'll end up hurting not only yourself…"

I laughed.

"What's so funny?" He asked me.

"You should be worried about your wife Sam, not me. I'm fine."

"No, you're not and you should be ashamed."

"Why?"

"I know what you're doing…Jacob's trying to help you and you keep giving him hopes."

I was confused. What the hell was he talking about?

"Jacob thinks he can fix you. He tried to do the same with Bella."

"He knows very well I don't want his help. I can take care of myself."

"He feels sorry for you because he felt the same once. If you keep doing this Jacob will never stop trying to help you and you'll hurt each other."

"Thanks for the warning Sam but I know what I'm doing."

That was actually a lie and we both knew it. Sam took a step forward to reach my arm but Jared's voice stopped him. I took that chance to run away into the forest. I managed not to ruin my dress because I didn't want to share my thoughts with the wolves on patrol. I just kept running. I lost track of the time and in the end I ended up on the cliffs. I enjoyed that place. When I was there I always liked to watch the ocean for hours. it brought me peace.

When I was a little girl my dad told me I was like the waves. Sometimes I was calm and patient, just flowing with the tide but then I could change into a tsunami and destroy everything I touched.

I really missed my dad but since he wasn't with us anymore I had to figure out my life on my own. It wasn't easy though. I was confused and upset. There was no point blaming the wolf genes or the fucking leeches that made us phase in the first place. I was miserable because I hadn't been able to cope with all the pain I felt. It was time to stop being stupid. It was time to accept who I was.

From now on, Emily was going to live my dream. She was married to Sam and she would give him children one day. It wasn't fair but I had to let it go otherwise I would never be able to move on. I was a freak of nature. I couldn't change that. Period.

I still had a long way to go but now I was actually willing to start a new life besides I had all the time in the world. Literally.

Old habits die hard. I wouldn't heal or become the perfect girl just like that but maybe I should try.

Jacob's words replayed in my mind. He wasn't the wisest person in the world but he was right about me. How he could actually understand me so well, even though we weren't best friends or anything like that, was beyond my understanding and the only explanation I had for it was that he was one of the few wolves who had actually paid attention to my feelings while we were phased and could listen to each others thoughts.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds and I let my body fall slowly into the ground. I could hear the waves smashing against the cliffs and I relaxed a bit feeling the sun in my face.

I ignored the reason why my mind was stuck in the moment Jacob and I had danced. I didn't even paid attention to the song that was playing at the time. My subconscious was only focused on the warm feeling I had experienced. Jacob was the only one, except my brother, I would actually trust my life with. I didn't know why I was having these feelings especially after my ex-boyfriend's wedding but I guess that for the first time after I started phasing I was feeling lonely and I was accepting that I could use some friends.

I didn't want a deep friendship like I had with my cousin but I missed the way I could confide in someone else besides my family. Did I really want Jacob to be that person? Although he was younger than me, Jacob was without a doubt the most mature of the pack, excluding Sam. He had been through a rough time as well. I remembered when Sarah died and Jacob and the twins were completely devastated. Then Billy got trapped in a wheel chair and recently Jacob had lost Bella. It really sucked.

I spent hours in the cliffs mainly because I didn't want to go back to the party. When the sun disappeared on the horizon I decided it was time to go home, take off that dress and start living again.

"Hey…I thought I'd have to go to Canada again to find you." Jacob said.

This was becoming a really annoying habit. I mean I wasn't lost. Why was he looking for me?

"Please just don't tell me you're all looking for me."

"Only Seth and I."

I rolled my eyes.

"Your mother was worried." He confessed. "And...I had nothing else to do."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"What have you been doing here all afternoon?" He asked noticing that I was close to the edge of the cliff.

"Nothing. I haven't been thinking about jumping…don't worry. Although it wouldn't make a difference. I wouldn't die so easily."

"You should've told us where you were."

"I told you I wanted to be alone."

"The party is over. You can go home now."

I nodded. I didn't know why I was feeling my heart so heavy all of a sudden. It was as if I had a huge rock on my chest and when Jacob grabbed my hand to take me home I looked deeply into his brown eyes. There was so much in his eyes to see and yet what I really wanted was for him to actually see me. And he did.

"You can cry. I won't tell." He said.

I didn't stop the tears anymore. I couldn't understand why I'd spent all afternoon without crying and now, just because he was there, I had finally cracked down.

So I cried in Jacob's arms for a while and I'd never felt so warm in my whole life. His steady heartbeat allowed me to calm down and when he let me go I promised I would never show my vulnerability like that ever again.

While we were going back to my house Jacob told me the Cullens had convinced Emily and Sam to go on a honeymoon. Since Sam's childhood dream was to go to Las Vegas, they had offered them a one week trip to Vegas, all paid for.

Alice was sure that Sam's absence wouldn't be a problem. We were standing on my porch when Jacob told me that he would be there as long as I needed his company.

"I heard what Sam told you before you could leave the party. He's wrong." He confessed.

"It's fine. I always knew you were trying to help me because you failed to do the same for Bella."

"That's not true." He insisted.

"I should've told you I didn't want to be fixed. Sam's right I'm not worth it and you should've noticed I'm not Isabella Swan…"

"Cullen."

"Whatever. I can heal on my own."

"I never thought of you as a replacement." He whispered.

I rolled my eyes. It didn't matter. I was thankful that he had been there for me even if he was just pretending to care. Even if I was just a charity case.

"I know you're hurt and I know you won't forget this day easily but I promise it gets better." He said softly.

I was completely dumbfounded when more tears started to roll down my cheeks. Why was I crying again? Because Sam was on his honeymoon with Emily? Because Jacob was acting like he cared about me? Because I wanted to feel his warmth again? Because I didn't want him to leave?

When Jacob hugged me for the second time that night I actually hugged him back. It was good to be with someone who knew how miserable I was feeling. Even if he didn't mean to be my friend I needed a shoulder to cry on. Once again I was vulnerable but it didn't matter.

Minutes later Seth called Jacob to know where I was and when he realised I was alright at home he decided to stay at Embry's. Jacob ended up staying for the night. I didn't understand why or how but I actually allowed him to sleep with me. We sat down comfortably on my couch and we ended up falling asleep. I decided that whatever was coming down to me I would deal with it in the morning. For now I just wanted to feel that someone cared about me.